I’m writing this so that everyone knows why I’m mad….
I have to start making a few rules and I’m gonna have to start enforcing them so that I can stop making myself crazy and I hope everyone can fallow them as well. Here goes:
1) I’m not a storage unit… in the next few days I will be cleaning the house. Anything I find that is not mine will go in a box in the front window, where the dogs have access. Keep in mind till be in a box and they tend to leave them alone but there are no guaranties. If you don’t know If I have anything of yours call me and will tell you. Anything you leave here will go in that box. The only acceptations will be things like movies and things I barrow. I will give you those things back in person. Otherwise you have keys come get your C.R.A.P!
2) I’m not a source for entertainment. I have feelings and I’m busy too. If you would like to hang out don’t call me an hour before with the message “I’m board what time do you work?”
3) I’m not a restaurant or made of money… Yes I have offered to pay in the past but I can’t do it anymore. And I’m not gonna cook all the time. You want food get it your self. If you’re eating at my house you should know damn well that most things are fair game. Just ask if the item is questionable. (Fair game: Ramen, cereal, popcorn…) If it has to be cooked don’t ask me to make it for you. Most things have the instructions on the box. I know you can cook just put your mind to it.
4) I’m NOT an Inn. I don’t like coming down stairs and finding random people on my couch. It’s getting old. You’re tired and between classes do what other students do go to the library basement and sleep. I know I’m sounding harsh but I don’t think I can trust people leaving the house after I do anymore. My mom has come home to find the door unlocked several times now. If you do come over just to crash 1) inform me first and 2) lock up when you leave.
And finally 5) CLEAN UP YOUR OWN GOD DAMN MESSES!!! I have enough trouble picking up after myself I don’t need my mother harping on me for other people. This includes food in the trash or in the fridge (only if you are positive you are coming back for it), dishes in the sink, and ALL blankets and pillows picked up off the floor.
That should be it for now if I have more I’ll add them later. I’m tired of playing mother. I just want to be everything else a mom is, a lover, a friend and a woman. I DON’T HAVE CHILDERN OF MY OWN AND I DON’T WANT FRIENDS WHO ACT LIKE THEM!!!
I’m scared. Sitting in my car, thinking about the tonight, and I realized some thing... I admitted to my self that I'm Bi or more gay with strait tendencies. I'm a looser. And I'm talking worse then drew Barrymore in the movie "Never been kissed". I'm 19, can't make up my mind on what I want to do for the rest of my life... only had about 4 crushes that I can think of since 6th grade... All on boys BTW... And ... I just can't take it anymore. With this post it'll be out... And that's what I'm scared of... Everyone's reaction. Eric My current crush like's another girl... I don't have the guts to tell him I like him and... This is the worst part... I was cuttling with my best friend... female BTW... And thought 'this feels right'... I know she felt that it was strictly platonic but in my mind it felt right. It's what I want... while at times I want some thing to make me feel protected I want some one else to feel that from me... With that in mind I started to look at my characters that I writ for. Zai and, my newest, Carmine are my extremes. Zai the loving protective type, and Carmine the over baring asshole. Then I looked at my seconded newest, Amen. He is what I really want to strive to be. Amen's openly gay... well that more gay with strait tendencies I was talking about. He has his really sexual side but at the same time he's loving and kind of maternal at the same time. Everyone Calls me mother and I kind of hate it but at the same time love it. "Mother is the word for god on the lips of children."- The Crow. I believe this. It endearment makes me feel wanted but at the same time I feel like I’m being placed away from everyone else... never letting me obtain an intament relation with anyone. I have this tendency to fall for my friends... every time I don't and fall fore someone out side the immediate ring I end up really hurt.
I still hate a girl who ruined my first crush. Her name was Annabelle Amose...heh... god this is childish... one day after I told her I like a boy named Benji... I don't remember his last name... she "zapped" him with my name. We’ll if you don't remember the rules of that little game it goes like this... someone writes a name on your palm then a time and an action on the back of the same hand. If you look at the name before the time then you have to do the action with that person... kissing, asking out, ect. We’ll he looked and it was my name and he had to ask me out. ON THE SCHOOL BUSS RIDE ON THE WAY BACK FROM A FIELD TRIP. I was so embarrassed that he actually did it. Everyone herd him then my reply of no... But what was worse was when Annabelle stood up and SHOUTED "WHY NOT YOU SAID YOU LIKED HIM." I was so pissed; I never forgave her even when she apologized the next year. The next one was in 7th. His name was Ryan... Don't remember his last name either. That one I told no one of until after school was out and my feelings had faded. Turns out he was a total ass anyway. Then came Busick. Know one even knew and they never guessed when I wouldn't tell them. That time I totally avoided the guy. Admiring from far. Not at 19 I finally have another one. Eric...
... Now back to the part that scares me the most. I'm coming out with the fact that I'm at least Bi. Guys have always interested me... But it's never what I really want. I fantasize about someone holding me... Caring for me... but at the same time I want some to hold and protect. Some I can care for. I'll lie in bed at night and imagine one pillow is someone holding me at my back and at my front, another pillow, is someone else That I'm holding... his all goes back to Amen. He has someone that will hold him and protect him but at the same time that one person is the other side too, giving him someone to protect. I want a relationship like that, I crave it... well with that off my chest and to give something my mind to roll over for now I'm going to sleep.
Soldier
“Tick, tock”
Goes the windup clock,
The bell chimed merrily.
“3 ‘o clock and all is well.”
I hear outside my window sill,
With not a guard in site.
Love is lost,
Yet I am not
As they sleep upon my pillow.
The stars shine bright
On this moonless night.
And yet I can not sleep.
The cool night breeze
Comes in from the seas
But still I feel no comfort.
As blade shines bright
In pale candle light
I think of all the sorrow
Sweet is the song
But not for long
Time is fading away
Soon I must leave
And they will grieve
But only for tomorrow
I will yearn
And soon return
To the arms of a waiting lover
That is my fate
So must I wait
And such is the life of a soldier
Please tell me what you think. I don't usualy do poetry, But I was listing to a song and It just came to mind. Unique music usually does that to me. ^_^
I am a A Crystal Dragon!
Hey, I took the http://dragonh
In the war between good and evil, Crystal Dragons take the side of the noble and good....
When it comes to the powers of Chaos vs. those of Law and Order, your inner dragon tends to do things by the book. ...
As far as magical tendancies, Magical spells come as natural to the Crystal Dragon as breathe from it's body....
During combat situations, a true Crystal Dragon prefers to defeat opponents by the use of spells and other tactics....
Fun-loving and good natured, crystal dragons tend to be responsible rulers. They establish domains in the cold, open northern reaches, building castles out of snow and ice. They leave these castles open to the sky, for they love to watch the stars on clear, cold nights.'
Hatchlings have glossy white scales that become more and more translucent with age. By the time they reach adulthood, these scales become luminescent in moonlight. In the full light of the day they glow with a dazzling, almost unbearable brilliance.'
Like other benevolent dragons, the crystal dragons prefer to talk rather than fight. Even without special abilities, they can be charming and engaging to an extreme. Gems and metal ores are their foods of choice. A crystal dragon's breath weapon is a cone of glowing shards. The shards slice and cut those caught in the cone.
'
This Dragons favorite elements are: Quartz, Ice, and Good Natures
http://Dragonh