so i sent Ercan a letter i cant wait to get one back! i really miss him! i feel stupid cos i hardly knew him but he was so lovely and hmm i think i might love him!

god i really miss him , i think i might be in love, i know i hardly know and oh my god he lives so far away! in Turkey im not going to see him for a whole year! erkan was like no one i've ever met! he thought i was beautiful and didnt expect anything off me!
god i love him!

how do i feel? well how the fuck should i know? i know im me but im all mixed up! yeah i should be happy cos im going on holiday!
i feel so depressed! i dont know why i have no reason too! what is true love? will i ever find it and how come no guy ever wants me or loves me and then when there is one there is complications!
AM I MEANT TO BE SINGLE FOREVER?
well i feel so ugly and usless and the stupid anti-depressants aren't working anymore. i feel like i cant talk to anyone cos i might fuck them up but i also feel that when i talk to people its not even a relief cos i dont say how i feel and all i end up doing is getting a knife and cutting deeper and deeper!
im such a selfish friend! how can i do this to people?

hmmm lost somewhere inbetween reality and dream!

awwww he said he loved me! yey! i hope he does i dont wana go all depressed and shut people out again!

i dont know what to do because i need to help him but i cant

im still ill and im still missing adam i really love him

aww im ill and i miss adam

hey diary! theres nothing 2 do!

its valentines day yey!

im in love! yey! u kno who u r and u beta not b reading this!