im so sick of being single! it's like the guy i really wana be with lives so far away, in Turkey and then there's this other guy but he was telling me about this girl he liked all my friends have bf's and im always like the third wheel and i hate it but i dont wana hurt their feelings.

so i sent Ercan a letter i cant wait to get one back! i really miss him! i feel stupid cos i hardly knew him but he was so lovely and hmm i think i might love him!

god i really miss him , i think i might be in love, i know i hardly know and oh my god he lives so far away! in Turkey im not going to see him for a whole year! erkan was like no one i've ever met! he thought i was beautiful and didnt expect anything off me!
god i love him!

how do i feel? well how the fuck should i know? i know im me but im all mixed up! yeah i should be happy cos im going on holiday!
i feel so depressed! i dont know why i have no reason too! what is true love? will i ever find it and how come no guy ever wants me or loves me and then when there is one there is complications!
AM I MEANT TO BE SINGLE FOREVER?
well i feel so ugly and usless and the stupid anti-depressants aren't working anymore. i feel like i cant talk to anyone cos i might fuck them up but i also feel that when i talk to people its not even a relief cos i dont say how i feel and all i end up doing is getting a knife and cutting deeper and deeper!
im such a selfish friend! how can i do this to people?

hmmm lost somewhere inbetween reality and dream!

awwww he said he loved me! yey! i hope he does i dont wana go all depressed and shut people out again!

i dont know what to do because i need to help him but i cant

im still ill and im still missing adam i really love him

aww im ill and i miss adam

hey diary! theres nothing 2 do!

its valentines day yey!

im in love! yey! u kno who u r and u beta not b reading this!