this is why i hate people:
lets see if it works....
I am taking the bait -
what do I have to lose right?
Hope it works!
Supposedly The Phone Will Ring
Right After You Do This.
Just read the little stories and
think of a wish as you scroll all
the way to the bottom. There is
a message there - then make your
wish.
No attachment on this one.
Stories
I'm 13 years old, and I wished
that my dad would come home from
the army, because he'd been having
problems with his heart and right
leg. It was 2:53 p.m . When I made
my wish. At 3:07 p.m. (14 minutes
later), the doorbell rang, and
there my Dad was, luggage and all!!
I'm Katie and I'm 20 and I've been
having trouble in my job and on the
verge of quitting. I made a simple
wish that my boss would get a new
job. That was at 1:35 and at 2:55
there was an announcement that he
was promoted and was leaving for
another city. Believe me...this
really works!!!
My name is Ann and I am 45 years
of age. I had always been single
and had been hoping to get into a
nice, loving relationship for many
years. While kind of daydreaming
(and right after receiving this email)
I wished that a quality person would
finally come into my life. That was at
9:10 AM on a Tuesday. At 9:55 AM
a FedEx delivery man came into my
office.He was cute, polite and
could not stop smiling at me. He
started coming back almost everyday
(even without packages) and asked me
out a week later. We married 6
months later and now have been
happily married for 2 years.
What a great email it was!!
Just scroll down to the end, but
while you do, think of a wish.
Make your wish when you have completed
scrolling. Whatever age you are, is the
number of minutes it will take for your
wish to come true. ex.you are 25 years
old, it will take 25 minutes for your wish
to come true).
However, if you don't send this to
people in 5 minutes, you will have bad
luck for years!!
Go for it!!!
SCROLL DOWN!!!!
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STOP!!!
Congratulation
now come true in your age minutes.
Now follow this carefully....i
can be very rewarding!!!!
If you repost this within the next 5 min.
something major that you've been wanting
will happen.
This is scary!
The phone will ring right after
you do this
Due to the fact that I didnt like how long my page was getting, I moved the quotes here...
Here is an insane list of quotes, and if any of you know [nameless, again] He has one to that you should check out, also these are all real and i heard them all , otherwise i would not quote them:
1. "Where playing your national anthem, GO AWAY!"
2. "What if everyone was doing that?"
3. "It would be really loud?"
4. "What Would Robocop Do?"
5. "Blow it up with a futuristic gun"
6. "I think Ralph should get addicted to something"
7. "Blah!"
8. "Where's Grant? He's doing your mom. Oh then it shouldn't be long."
9. "Oh Man! I wish I knew how to make acid, that would be so cool!"
10. "I concer whole heartidly my african american brother"
11. "I slit your throat, Essay!"
12. "But where already halfway up!"
13. "Jimbo, you must have teacher sense or something, you freak!"
14. "There's no cameras in this hall, GET HIM!"
15. "Ahh! He's Naked!"
16. "That black kid ate my ball like nine times, Damn black kid!"
17. "Damn jumping gummies."
18. "It's like a Joygasm in my mouth!"
19. "Lets not say anything 'til Mark talks. What? (Cheers)"
20. "The muffin exploded on Will!"
21. "I'm gonna go sit in a corner and suck"
22. "Don't feel bad about going to hell, I'll see you there."
23. "It's like an Earthcrake in my mind!"
24. "You suck at hugging!"
25. "Not the littlest Hobo!"
26. "It smells like purple."
27. "A,B,C,D,E,F,G
28. "Do you have herpes? No, the crabs ate that."
29. "Wait, Where talking about Miller, Right?"
30. "Did you have to collect bottle caps to get that shirt? No, I went to Mervin's!"
31. "I'm the spork!"
32. "Bob Saget is... SATAN!"
33. "All hail.... THE DOUCHE!"
34. "It's Douche-zilla!"
35. "Penguin girl.....Goo!"
36. "I wish i could get lucky in the halls"
37. "How about Janet?"
38. "You hit me in the eye!... With a green been!!!"
39. "WE MUST FIGHT TO STOP BARBARA STRISAND!!!"
40. "Whats the difference between a VCR and a DVD player? I dunno, they look the same to me."
41. "There are Murderers and Prostitutes out there, shouldnt you be taking care of that?"
42. "This has got to be the best slushe that I have EVER had!"
43. "It's like a massive Girl-On-Me Orgy!"
44. "Thank you Spiderman,I will never drink and drive again!"
45. "Hey, it's that one lesbian!"
46. "El Jefe you sound luscious!"
47. "Ha Niggers! Were in Mexico now! You Idiot! We have to cross the line first!"
48. "I'd like to order a Mcfaggot"
49. "Are you gonna put that back now? No. Assholes!"
50. "Hey look arabian chics, I bet her names fuk you. No its probably makahakalookie
51. "See me after class and you can put your hand in my bowl of candy.....and select a tootsie roll or something."
52. "I'm Frickin' Marry Poppins!"
53. "HA! Your Boyfriends DEAD!!"
54. "Hey, I know you. Your that fat girl with the dead boyfriend!"
55. "You can't miss him, he's a real pansy."
56. "Hey guys, I'm going through Kemo......I have no hair"
57. "We're monitoring the system"
58. "Ok, Now turn off the phone before I bash it against the wall"
59. "If I say jiggalo will you know what I mean?"
60. "That stupid asshole deserved it, he made a box out of our giant swastika"
61. "Are you Jesus' brother, Steve Christ?"
62. "Hey guys I just met Jesus' brother Steve"
63. "How did you get all that face fat?"
64. "Looks like youve been doing something bad...Thats an incense...Oh, thats not what I thought it was"
65. "I can show you something grosser than Ryan's butt"
66. "He hit himself in nut-ball...twi
67. "What does that feel like? Like cookies in my ass"
68. "I feel like a sandwhich...A big purple sandwhich"
69. "I lost my balls in Ambercrombie"
70. "Look at us, we're different"
71. "Just for that, no licorice for a month"
72. "I got your mom in the bo-bo!"
73. "Ryan, Im a pigeon..... Thats it, your pushing it!"
74. "And god smote the mexicans so they would be lazy and forever work at Mcdonalds for the whites"
75. "Stay away from MY FUCKIN RAT, JEFF!"
76. "One day Melvins gunna snap and kill us all"
77. "C-O-K, it says COCK!"
78. "Rodney Mullen is like Jesus, he can jump however the hell far he wants"
79. "Hahaha, I just abrieviated Jimmy Eat World in my mind!"
80. "Like an Internet Hooker"
81. "My class, were missing a badmitten raquet. Why would anybody steal a badmitten raquet, what kind of sick person, whyyyyy!"
82. "I think that Romeo & Juliet was alot like a box of Cheese Nips, Its crumby and cheesy but everybody loves it!"
83. "Gay Marriage if for FAGGOTS!"
84. "I am ROBERTO!"
85. "Ohhhhhhh, Thaaat Swirling vortex of doom!"
86. "Yeah, but dancing with that chick was like dancing with a really enormously gigantic bag of stinky jell-o. So you mean she was fat?"
87. "Thats funny, I was addicted to black tar heroin once..."
88. "I wish I had that many friends"
89. "Hey I just relized out life is like a big epiosde of the simpsons"
90. "I just found out they have steroids that make your boobs bigger...we should slip some of those into melvins milk-shake"
91. "I just found out if your gunna be in a band you have to spit everywhere and all over your fellow band members"
92. "Play Shawnana!"
93. "Its like beer-pepsi"
94. "When Weird Al makes fun of you, you know you suck!"
95. "Im gunna make a place called Boners....and kids will be like "Hey mom! can we go to Boners!"
96. "You say you have sex with turkeys, you call me fat, and then you want to eat me out? Doesnt that seem strange to you? Nope!"
97. "I pass on grass and PCP, I get high on G-O-D! G-O-D? What's Jode?"
98. "What are you ladies doing and why isnt your work done? WELL AT LEAST I DIDNT HAVE SEX WITH HIM!"
99. "Huh...that could of killed us!"
100. "God Alex, your so fat and stinky, go away! CURT! Be nice to Alex!!! Hahaha, I thought she was gonna say, 'Curt, your fat too!'"
101. "Get the frisbee Ryan! I just turned my hand around 540 degrees, Im getting the shirt."
102. "Hey Jeff I got a free shirt. I know, I was there!"
103. "Every time that movie is played gay people sprout through the moon"
104."Riley your moms a whore"
105. "I like my women like I like my chicken, in a greasy bucket"
106. "Sex, something Riley will never experience, HEY! I made a house!!!"
107. "Say anything stupid lately Megan? I don't say stupid stuff Jeff! You didnt know how to spell god, thats pretty stupid"
108. "OH MY GOD! That is one giant Uni-Ball!"
109. "OK class, translate this into German, ummmm, Jeff, How do you say 'Frau is the best german teacher ever'? Frau ist nicht so gut! (Frau is not so great)"
110. "Hey wanna buy a mouse trap? Does it work? Yeah, look Ill put my finger in....OH MY GOD THAT HURTS!!!! Ill buy it!"
111. "Oh it will, plus we have merchandise!"
112. "Hi, Im replying to the add that I saw above the urinals..."
113. "Greg come on....*Tips hat*...Lesbian
114. "Your so dead...*whack*
115. "Wow, theres like a whole another mall inside of the mall that we didnt even know existed! Look Roof Access!"
116. "Can you imagine if people could spam you in your everyday life...your just walking down the street and some guy screams in your ear "I want to make your penis larger!"
117. "Meat is murder....Swee
118. "I'll give you two cigaretts if you flash us...thats a cigarett per boob!"
119. "It's a good deal...you were born with those I had to buy these."
120. "Dog: Wooooowooooo, Greg: Look its a party dog! woooo, whos the bitch now? hmmmm?"
121. "This class is easier than your fucking lunch and some of you dumbasses are faling! What is wrong with you!?!"
122. "Hey, look at that dog, wait, look at that dog? Its Flying!"
123. "Where's Albany? Wait isnt that New Mexico's capitol? Albanquerque?"
124. "Doesnt it suck that people live in Michigan"
125. "Oh my god its a man...I just threw up a little in my mouth"
126. "If you can't take a joke get out of the WNBA"
127. "Any band with a CD cover that's that bad couldn't play anything bigger than a barmitzfa for a poor jewish kid!"
128. "I can't tell, are those old people... Or gangsters?"
129. "It's like having a bowling alley in your basement, except its a skatepark in your barn!"
130. "Dude, I can't find my pants!"
131. "Zombies have feelings too!?"
132. "Love...Cum...
133. "THROW THE BALL!!! Do you scream like this at home? beeeeeeep, MY HOT POCKETS DONE!!!!"
134. "It's always hammer time for Ms. Schwartz!"
135. "Do you mow lawns? No, I do other stuff. Oooo, you mow trees"
136. "I think America should look out for America because if we helped every little country that asked us to we'd be the world's bitch"
137. "It feels like I'm swimming in Jell-o! I wonder if it tastes like Jell-O....nope
138. "I would slap my girlfriends moms boyfriends dog, and then my girlfriends moms boyfriend and then i would quit making up stuff"
139. "Im never right, except when Im not left"
140. "How can you be suicidal? You either do it your you dont!"
141. "Prison isnt really that hardcore, Ive been there. Its kinda like school, except you can't leave"
142. "Retards, you don't look at them, you laugh at them!"
143. "My favorite color is....Cheesebu
144. "oh my god, i just imagined a bunch of mimes getting inside of an invisible box with a flaming 727 heading straight for them, HA!"
145. "April showers bring May flowers, but what do may flowers bring? Pilgrims!"
146. "So how are you? Excuse me, I have to take a dump"
147. "I wish there was a face icon thinger that was someones ass cheecks mooning you, cuz id use that one right now"
148. "You could never do this in real life...i know, someones head would explode"
149. "I'll kill you with my acid filled water gun thats been cursed by a gypsy who I stole this gun from"
150. "yeah, thats when i would want a baseball bat, and id name it mr stingy, and everytime a kid anoyed me theyed find out why hes called mr stingy"
151. "Isnt it sad that people think the moons made of cheese? Yeah, I thought that when I was 6, but thats because of Walace & Gromit!"
if your looking for something to do on a boring day why not go to my bands website that i made, http://www.no-
The Jeff-tionary:
Footbag - The new word meaning same as "Douchebag" but not as overused
Example: Man, you are such a freakin' Footbag!
Bodacious - Something that is cool at the time
Example: Whoa, that is such a Bodacious idea!
Crunk - Not my word, made by Conan O'brian as a word meaning fuck but that would not get censored on TV.
Example: Man my kid would be so Crunk!
Juggalo - A fan of the (ahem) band, Insane Clown Posse often refers to him/her (almost always him) self as a 'Juggalo.' They paint their faces, spray soda on eachother, and respect the music of ICP and consequently get very little respect themselves.
Example: Juggalos are gay
Dillio - Marge Simpson first uses this word meaning Hell
Example: What the Dillio?
Motard - Fuck if I know!
Example: Man, ICP is so freaking Motard?
Freaking Awesome - Mine and Ryan's [nameless, again] band
Example: Wow, No Translation Necessary is Freaking Awesome!
Utard - A word for people that come from Utah, meaning Douchebags.
Example: That chicks a utard though...
Hiznitch - A White people word imitating the black people
Yo Hiznitch wanna go chill at the skatepark?
Hot Pockets - Great "parents arent home to cook for you" snack that can be made in 2:00 minutes
God damn Im hungry but no ones home! I think Ill make Hot Pocket!
Lagoon Donkey - A Fucking ugly woman
Look at her, shes such a Lagoon Donkey
No - The word that makes sex rape
Lets have sex. No
This converstation was had with [AdamJ~04], feel free to bitch at him for me:
[jeffasaurus] You are such a fucking douchebag
[AdamJ~04] WHY!?!
[jeffasaurus] Because icp is the GAYEST fag queer "band" ever
[AdamJ~04] just b/c i like icp? well fuck you like ppl for who tha fuck they are not what fuckin bands they listen to you fuckin queer ass cock head! FUCK YOU!!! tryin to pick on little kids go suck your moms dick bitch!
[jeffasaurus] What the hell you little pussy, how many times can you use the word fuck in one paragraph, you make absolutly no sense and icp is so god damn horrible. i cannot stand them and becuase you like them i cannot stand you.
just in case you didnt know moms are female, females dont have penis'. you would not know this because (a)Your dads are gay (b)the closest youve gotten to a girl is that one time when you brushed up against little susy in the hall.
as for the rest of your comments go fuck a horse you faggot
[AdamJ~04] ooohhh im so scared im shakin in my nutsack butch....firs of all i dont know my parents....so fuck off...i wanted to talk to you before,b/c u seemed like a kool guy...and b/c i like ppl for who they are not wha bands they like damn....oh and for the record theres not 1 person named ''little susy'' in my whole school damnit
[jeffasaurus] Im not trying to scare you, im trying to tell you that your a goober and listen to a "band" that doesnt even make music, there just a bunch of loser clowns that got picked on through school and now want attention, so they get it from the lowest rum of the social ladder, you.
[AdamJ~04] dude shut up while i block you like i said i dont care what you think plz shut up and leave me alone
[jeffasaurus] Arent you cool
[AdamJ~04] ok thats great.......wo
[jeffasaurus] Thank you, i now feel my i have done something great in my lifetime
001: Name: Jeff Kile
002: Nickname: El Jefe
003: Country of living: USA
004: Birth date: January 12, 1989
005: Height: 5'8"
006: Eye color: Brown
007: Shoe size: 10
008: School/work: School
009: You smoke: Of course not
010: Hobbies: Guitar, TV, Sleep, Eat, Go to Ryan's
011: Brothers/Siste
012: Relationship: No =(
013: Piercing(s): Ear
014: Tattoo: No
015: Fave Country to go to: Since I've never been outside the USA, I'd have to say Highlands Ranch, the people there are stupid and rich
016: Are there people you wont reply to?: Gays and Jews
017: Nicest people you met this year: Lauren
018: Person you rather not have met this year: Well if this year includes last, then Shannon
019: Who would you like to meet: Rodney Mullen
020: Who do you admire most: Rodney Mullen
021: Most sexy person(s) on Elftown: I dont believe that there are hot chicks on this thing, and if there are they just steal someone elses pic
022: Favorite Pajama: Commando
023: Favorite Car: 1970 Ford Mustang GT
024: Favorite Movie(s): Dumb & Dumber
025: Favorite music: Punk, Folk, Reggae
026: Favorite City(s): Carlsbad, Just its name is cool
027: Favorite board: Element
028: Favorite smell: anything scratch & sniff
029: Favorite Magazine: MAD
030: Favorite sound: Schlurp
031: Favorite TV-series: The Simpsons
032: Favorite Writer(s): Maddox
033: Favorite Nickname: What the hell are you doing?
034: What is on your mouse pad: The Shane Co. "Official Jeweler of the DENVER NUGGETS" (even though the Nuggets blow and I hate basketball)
035: What all is under your bed: A sack of dead babies and a hobo
036: Favorite color: Green
037: Favorite Song ever: Ten Foot Pole - The Getaway
038: Favorite song at this moment: Ween - Ocean man
039: Favorite food: Hot dog flavored hot dogs
040: Favorite class in school: Gym, who doesnt like gym?
041: Favorite drink: Mountain Dew
042: Lucky number: Yes
043: What do you think is greatest about yourself: I can't see myself
044: What deodorant do you use: The kind that goes under your arm
045: Favorite shoes: Birkenstocks
046: What time do you go to bed on weekdays: 1-ish
047: What word do you use most: The
048: Most romantic moment in your life: When I got my guitar
049: Most embarrassing moment in your life: When I didn't have a guitar
050: You spend your time rather inside or outside: Half in Half out
051: What do you do in the weekends: Go to Ryan's
052: What class on school do/did you dislike most: Math, I don't like numbers
053: You're Breakfast: Big Macs
054: What do you really really dislike to eat: Fish sticks
055: Pets: Dog, Iguana, Fish, Fish, Fish
056: Laugh or dream: Laugh
057: Serious or funny: Funny
058: Fast or slow: Why not
059: You prefer being alone or have relation: Relations are more fun
060: Simple or complicated: Simple, my mind can't handle too much
061: Cremated or Buried when dead: Cremated then buried then resurrected then cremated again
062: Sex or alcohol: All of the above
063: Stay up late or go to bed early: I don't have a bed
064: Light or dark: Lark
065: Speak or Silence: Its more like a silent speak
066: Tall or small man/woman: Shorter than me
067: News paper: News schmooze
068: Hug or kiss: Kiss while hugging
069: Happy or Sad: Happy happy joy joy
070: Life or Death: Life
071: Gig or Disco: Disco
072: Left or Right: Right
073: Sausages on top, or on the side: I don't like sausages
074: Dark/ Red/ Blonde: Dark
075: What would you ask God if you could ask him 1 single question: What's in Hotdogs?
076: You believe in reincarnation: Do you believe in Dogs?
077: You believe in Aliens: Of course, (Mexicans)
078: When you die, what will be your last words: I'm gonna have a dramatic death like in the movies and I'm gonna pretend to die and then wake up and go GAH! And then really die
079: Does true love exist: What kind of question is that?
080: How many kids would you like to have: duce
081: What is the one thing you can't stand: Jews
082: Best feeling: Glurp
083: Worst feeling in the world: Pop
084: What are you afraid of: White people that used to be black
085: Are you an emotional person: If by emotional you mean happy, then yes
086: Do you ever cry during a movie: No
087: Your goal in life: Take a bite out of the sun and then swim in a pool of Jell-o
088: What was the promise you made to yourself at New Years Eve: *See above*
089: Favorite art-artist: Matt Galager, that kid can draw like nobodies buisness
090: As what animal would you like to reincarnate: A Transformer
091: What is the most beautiful part on the female body: Face, if she isn't hot then nothing else is good
092: Most original place to ask your love to marry you: A Bridal store
093: What do you think of Elftown: There are too many fantasy nerd fruits
094: Is there something you miss about elftown: Back in the day.....
095: Where did you get this question list: I dunno but cheese wiz tastes like shit
095: Besides elftown, what do you do most on your PC: EAT ME!
096: Star sign: Capricorn
097: Fave animal: Transformers
098: What's the most annoying thing that people ask you?: Who do you like?
099: Do you get in trouble a lot: ....
100: Is there a question you missed in this all: How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie-pop?