old story of mine.


    I know not how much time I have left, nor do I know how much time I wish to have, but they will be here soon so I must make this letter as concise as possible and as short as possible, as well.
    They? That’s the word I use because I know no other way to describe them. They will take me to a place of unimaginable horrors where my flesh will be eaten by bloated worms and my soul will be torn apart only to be reconstructed so that the process can repeated for all eternity. 
    It’s my fault, really. I suppose it was my fault but, the more I think about it, the more I wonder if I was fated to end my life in this retched situation. I had always been interested in the metaphysical, even as a child. Maybe the elder gods don’t like humans learning of them and there secrets. Maybe they set traps for people who learn too much. 
    The truth is that, being from a wealthy family, I was blessed and cursed with ample free time in which to daydream and ponder about strange and wondrous things. Since childhood I have been fascinated with the occult and in the Elder Gods and the horrible powers that they were reputed to posses, powers beyond even our God’s imagination. It was this fascination with the bizarre that led me to that dilapidated bookstore on an unwholesome street in the most putrid part of the city’s slums. There is where, I had been told, I could find any book I wished on the occult. My informant said I could find the one book I had been searching for and he was right. As I walked into that run down shack I saw what I had been looking for most of my adult life. There, on the first shelf in the store and covered in dust was the Tal’Mi’Uth. This wasn’t a copy that anyone could buy at a two bit, retail bookstore. No, this was one of the original versions left in the world. It had been written thousands of years ago in the ancient language of the Sumerians and, unlike modern translations, left nothing out. I looked around for an attendant but I failed to find one. Finally, after waiting impatiently for about fifteen minutes and making plenty of noise, I grabbed the book off the shelf. I put the money on I had brought on the counter and I headed out the door with my new, unholy plaything. I cannot swear by it but I remember hearing the faint sound of laughter as I left. 
    Now that I think about it maybe I was supposed to find that book so I could bring about my own, untimely, demise. 
    It is useless to blame anyone, or anything, other than myself because it was I who hunted for the cursed book. It was I who purchased the damnable tome. It was I, the adventure seeking fool, who delved into the pages of damnation. It was I who, in the end, brought this damnation upon myself. 
    I spent months after that fateful night, translating and retranslating the tome. I checked and double-checked my research and myself so many times that all I could think of was the wondrous volume of magic that awaited me. All I could dream about at night was the fantastic worlds and marvelous sights that I would see. It was going to be the grandest adventure of my life and I couldn’t wait for it to begin. 
    After I was positive of the translation I spent even more time preparing an old study for the up coming rites that were to be performed. I began to eat only bread and drink only water to purify my body for the journeys ahead. I also crafted all the tools that were to be used in the ceremonies as well as my robes. I was more prepared and more excited about this than I had been of anything else in my life. 
    One night, almost three years after I had purchased the book, I performed my first ritual. First, I nervously recited the ancient words to call forth the guardian to keep watch over the mystic portal I was going to create. If the words were recited properly the guardian would protect the portal the gate and my, physical body, with his life. If the spell were not recited properly the guardian would utterly destroy me as well as anyone else who came near the gateway. When the guardian arrived it was in the form of five flaming swords of fire. Each sword was as long as a man is tall and ready to strike down any interloper. I breathed a sigh of relief when the swords didn’t strike me down. This was a sign that all my hard work was, finally, paying off. 
    Being more confident and reassured about my abilities I called forth the gate and proceeded onward into another dimension. I cannot tell much of what transpired in that other world because I was sworn to secrecy by it’s ruler and god. What I can say is that it was beauty beyond compare. The average person would go blind if he gazed upon the splendor for too long. After I returned from that world I was melancholy for a time because I had left such a beautiful plane but I consoled myself by telling myself that there were even more beautiful worlds out there for me to explore. 
    Over the ensuing months I visited many more worlds and I even interacted with some of the creatures in those worlds. Worlds inhabited by sentient rodents; worlds where humans had never developed an opposable thumb but pigs had; worlds with creatures that shared a super conscience; worlds ruled by giant bacteria; even a few worlds with humans. The names of these worlds were as varied as their inhabitants. Names like Roth, Ishtar, Mongaria, and Durham, as well as names I would not dare pronounce with just one human tongue. 
    All the time I was traveling I was learning and being filled with power. I learned many things about the ancient gods and their powers. I even learned a little about our own creator. Never once, in all my journeys, was I ever fearful. Never once was I scared for my soul and my sanity. Never, until I reached the wretched world of Tultoth
    This nightmare of a world was such an assault on the senses that, even in my astral form, the odor was overpowering. Everywhere was fetid death. Bloated, decaying corpses of creatures big and small laid in hills as tall as any skyscrapers and these were pits as deep as the ocean. Everywhere I looked there were maggots as large as a person’s forearm and they were feasting upon the dead bodies that lay everywhere. Chained to the walls were men, or creatures, which screamed in pain as small, hunched, troll like creatures with feline faces and razor sharp claws feasted on the entrails of these living creatures. There were other things occurring elsewhere on this ungodly plane; things that would drive me mad to describe them again. Everywhere was heard the sounds of pain and anguish, suffering and pleads to respective gods to end it all. I came to the conclusion that, if this wasn’t Hell, Hell couldn’t be much worse.
    As I observed in horror the things that were going on I became aware of creatures roaming freely. They were grotesque, horrid abominations that stood seven foot tall and were slender in frame. Their heads were large and conical in shape with four tentacles covering what could be assumed was a mouth. They glistened with a slime that also trailed behind them in iridescent colors of sickly green and bloody red. Watching these creatures repulsed me. Observing them filled me with loathing and fear.
    As I floated above this scene I became aware that my astral body was, somehow, being pulled closer to the ground and towards these creatures. I noticed that they were looking in my direction and performing some sort of magic spell. I was in shock because no one was supposed to see my astral form unless I wanted him or her to see me. Obviously, these creatures were sensitive to shifts in space and time and may have known about me the entire time. As I felt myself being drawn in I also felt a tremendous wave of psychic energy wash over my form. I almost passed out from the barrage of emotions that had been sent my way. I sensed that they had been waiting for me and that they were going to do things to me that even the Elder Gods wouldn’t condone. I felt such hatred towards me that I panicked. I started struggling against the psychic and magical attacks by using the disciplines that I had learned. Frantically I started casting random spells to break their concentration. 
    I was, finally, able to return to my study where I hastily shut the gate and un-summoned the guardian because I doubted that even it could defeat these creatures. I exited the study and was barely able to padlock the door and bolt it from the outside before I blacked out. 
    From what I’ve been told; a servant found me the next morning unconscious in the garden. I have no recollection of how I got there but my servants finally got me into the bed where I had feverishly slept for three days. When I awoke and was able to move about I checked the bolting and the padlock on my study to ensure that they were still intact. I found they were still there but I was too scared to enter the room for fear that the unholy creatures may be lying in wait on the other side. 
    Since that night in that horrible world I have tried every means at my disposal to erase those visions and memories from my mind. I can no longer sleep and drugs and alcohol don’t dull the pain anymore; they have just made me a slave. Nothing works and nothing will ever work because the image of the Hellish cesspool of a world is forever burned into my mind, or what’s left of my mind. 
    Just when I was settling down to a semi-normal life the most unimaginable thing happened earlier this evening. I was going to check the locks on the door to my study as I have done every night since that disturbing encounter occurred to reassure myself that those creatures hadn’t made their way into my world. As I left my room and proceeded down the hallway I heard a banging that filled me with dread. I made myself walk the length of the hall to the top of the staircase just as two of those things broke down the door of my study. My god, they're loose in this world. They’ve found me! That’s all I could think as I ran screaming down the hallway. I yelled for the servants to leave; whether they heard me I do not know and I don’t care. All I was concerned about was finding the most secluded room in the house. I entered the room and found a pen and paper to write this hurried letter and to commence in ending my life with the gun I’ve been carrying with me everyday since I awoke. I just pray that no one will ever find that damnable tome and that they don’t ……… what’s that sound?
    Oh God, the door!! They’re at the door!! They’re at the door and I forgot to lock it; I forgot to lock the damn door!! Oh dear god n…

random

1135 tracks in playlist, average track length: 4:12
Estimated playlist length: 79 hours 29 minutes 25 seconds

ok....geek time.

I managed to completely take apart my computer(its been dead for some time). crack open the other one I was using and instill 2 cdrom drive, 2 diskettes, and a slave hard drive.
essentially turning the one dead PC and the oen working one into on fully functional pc with twice the punch.

I know it may not be that hard..but for me ..it was like turning water to wine.
anyway..back to your normally scheduled life.

   There is an isle at the edge of the world. It's so small that only a sparse few seafarers even know if its existence. It’s a harsh, rocky land where nothing grows and only seagulls visit regularly. The waves crash against the rocks and have welcomed more than one ship to its doom and the crews of a dozen vessels have found their final resting places on the rocks of the dead isle. The storms that rage here are constant and violent often ripping topsoil from the land and flinging it into the swirling sea.
    Though the rocky shoreline and lack of vegetation are unwelcoming the island is not uninhabited. In the heart of the island stands a tower that resembles a skeletal finger jutting out from its grave. Its grey stone and crooked, crumbling façade seem as inhospitable and foreboding as the island it stands on.
    The tower holds but one, lone resident. His robes are coarse burlap that have been bleached white to resemble sea spray over rocks. He is a gaunt, tall, bald man with a long, grey beard the stops at his waist and arcane tattoos that are etched into his head in place of hair.
    His name is Dalmood though no one has called him by that name, or any other, in eons. He has been alone is his vigil and duty. At times he himself has forgotten what his exact task is but not now. Now he peers out the only window of his prison home and smiles an all knowing smile and says in a powerful yet tired voice:” It is only a matter of time, now.”




    “Get up, boy. GET UP! You’ve got a lot to do before you go see the old man. Get up I say!” With that a rather portly man turns over the cot where his nephew was supposed to have been sleeping. To his surprise, though, his nephew was nowhere to be found. Confused he turned to leave and find his wayward ward only to come nose to nose with the very lad he was seeking.
    “Hey, uncle Javanth, I was looking for you.” He said this with a wry smile and mischievous look. “What’s wrong, uncle? You look a little upset. I’ve taken care of all my chores plus some of yours.” He winked and gave his uncle's belly a nudge with his elbow.” You know, you’re getting slow in your old age.”
    “Sho’ hon, this is no time to joke.” His uncle snapped.
    Sho’ hon shrank away a little at the retort of this large man. He hadn’t expected to get yelled at by his usually jovial uncle.
    Javanth’s face softened when he realized that he may have hurt Sho’ hon’s feelings.
    “Look, son, I’ve raised as my own since your mother, my dear little sister, and her no good husband died. You were three summers old then and it’s been a rough fifteen summers since then. It’s been rough for me because I never intended to have kids. I had no idea what to do or how to be a father. It’s been hard on me but I have loved every minute of it. Sho, I want you to know that there has never been a point where I regretted my choice. The has never been a time where I didn’t love you or think of you as my own son.”
    Sho ‘hon was getting choked up and he could tell his uncle was also on the verge of letting a tear drop so he thought he’d try to lighten the mood.
    “You always loved me?” he asked, “Even when I burned the southern half of the village down?”
    That did it. His uncle left out a soft chuckle” Well, it was hard,” he smiled” but I still loved you. No one else in the village did but what do they know?”
    Sho ‘hon stepped back and smiled. He’d never known his uncle to show too much affection and emotion. His demeanor always seemed to match his appearance. It was something that resembled a cross between a walrus and a grizzly bear. Still, though, it was nice to see.
   “Thanks, uncle Javanth, I needed that, especially today.”
    Javanth regained his composure and gruffly said:” Let’s not get all mushy soft, now. I will tell you, and this stays between you and me. The journey to see the old man is different for everyone but it’s nothing to fear. You’ve just got to stroll up the path then he’s going to say some stuff. Maybe it’ll be the history of the island like he usually does and then he’ll give you your name…your true name and you’ll come down. When you get back, you’ll get your first tattoo and, poof, you’re a man.”
    “Well, “ Sho ‘hon asked, “ what happens after that?”
    “Well, my boy, the entire village gets together to eat and drink ourselves silly and pass out in the streets and all for you! But, remember, what I told you about the old man is just between you and me, ok? Now, clean this hut up before I get you for that prank. You heard me, lad, go!” Javanth’s voice was harsh but laced with sentimentality and humor. Today the boy he’d taken in to raise would become a man. Today, his sister’s wish would be fulfilled.
    “Yes, uncle.” Sho ‘hon drooped his shoulders slightly and tried to look crestfallen. In truth, though, he had never been more excited in his life.
     
    
 

    
    

   

OK. Here's the deal.
I have 6 invites to get a Gmail account. for those who dont know what that is, its googles new email system but its by invite only and its in beta(not public yet).
The biggest plus to this one? 1 gig of FREE space plus loads fo extra stuff from the great guys at google.

BUT not just anyone gets an invite.=p
let me know whether you want one or not and how badly you want one. WE'll see who the true geeks are

Jeez this place is empty.
*echo*
I guess I should try to fill it up again.