Despite the fact that I know I have a good life, even if I am miserably and utterly failing highschool at the moment, I can't help but feeling that I am barely here and if I just dissapeared, no one would really notice. Maybe I'm just being an idiot but I just can't help but wonder. *Shrug* Maybe I'm just thinking this because I just found out my friends went on our yearly trip without me or because that everytime I cough I can feel the bile rising, I am so sick.

Hey Guys, sorry I haven't written in awhile. School has been keeping me very much busy and not to mention I have the flu. *Blech* Nothing really new except that one of my good friends, [Elegy - gone] is...gone... >.< Makes me very sad. I will miss her and hopefully everything goes ok for her. Besides that sad news, nothing to report.

From now on, I will be known as: Snoggy Sexy-Lover xD

I have two batteries stuck up my nose... 0.o ............................... xD

I have a battery stuck up my noooose... 0.o

Stolen from [Elegy - gone] who stole it from [Ocean Soul] who stole it from [Jitter], because these things are random and fun ^_____^

The Rules Are As Follows
1. You shall put your music player on shuffle.
2. You shall press forward for each question.
3. You shall use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn't make sense. NO CHEATING!
4. You shall tag 5 people and rain hell upon humanity.
5. You shall give your own comments on how it relates to the questions.


How are you feeling today?
Roy Orbison- Pretty Woman
Hehe, I do kind of feel spiffy today!

Will you get far in life?
Alter Bridge- The End Is Here
0.o


How do your friends see you?
Cascada- Everytime We Touch
They like to touch me? xD


What is your best friend's theme song?
Carrie Underwood- Jesus Take The Wheel
I don't like that answer *Pout*


What is the story of your life?
Rascal Flats- God Blessed The Broken Road
That's my ex-boyfriend and my song... Maybe it means I will have a blessed life? Or I will be with him? 0.o


What is high school like?
Alter Bridge- Open Your Eyes
That's kind of accurate... I haven't been really paying to much attention lately. >.<


How can you get ahead in life?
Christina Agularia- Blessed
I don't even know why I have that on here...


What is the best thing about your friends?
Good Charlotte- I Just Wanna Live
That's so true!! They all live for the moment!


What is in store for this weekend?
Disturbed- Land Of Confusion
I will be confused this weekend?? 0.o


How is your life going?
Jamison Parker- Here's Everything I've Ever Meant To Say
True.. I have been holding things in lately.


What song will they play at your funeral?
Michael Bublé- Save The Last Dance
I do love to dance...When no one is watching!


What do your friends really think of you?
Black Eyed Peas- My Humps
I have nice humps


Do people secretly lust after you?
Rammstein- Halleluja
They sing my praises? 0.o


How can I make myself happy?
Khia- My Neck, My Back
I should have lots of sex! xD


What should you do with your life?
My Chemical Romance- Helena
I should date/marry someone name Helena? Huh?

Will you ever have children?
Savage Garden- I knew I loved you
Yes and I will love them? xD

Apparently I'm getting married Janurary 1st, 2008... 0.o

Stolen from [Delladreing]

1. YOUR REAL NAME:
Nakita
2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first three letters of your name plus izzle)
Nakizzle (Kinda sounds cool!)
3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav. color & fav. animal)
Yellow Giraffe xD Haha
4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name & current street)
Ashley Mira! Or Ashira if you put it together...
5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name & first 3 letters of dad's name)
Carnatim (...)
6. SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color & favorite drink)
Teal Cooler xD
7. IRAQI NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of your dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name & last letter of your moms middle name)
Arsadje (Woah..)
8. WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mothers middle name)
Lee xD
9. GOTH NAME: (3rd favorite color, and the name of one your pets)
Black Shadow (Hehe!)

Why does this happen to me? *Slaps face* I was stupid enough to actually believe him. Hmph, lesson learned...again. Well maybe I deserved it. I'm still not sure what to think about what happened and I know that you have no idea what I'm talking about.

But ya, I don't really have anything to write about. I just wanted to update this thing. My life is so boring.

So I hopped on the bus yesterday and headed home. *UGH!* It broke down halfway there and we were forced to take a van taxi the rest of the way. I was squished and very uncomfortable. But I'm home now, even if it was delayed, and tomorrow I go back to school. *cries*

Ohmygod! *Diedandisdead* (I love writing with no spaces!)

OK, so I just found out that someone I have known since like 2003 has liked me since he met me even though since we met we haven't seen each other. We lived like 1 hour away from each other and I never really made an effort to talk to him until lately. I don't know why but I was looking through and old address book and saw his name and thought I should give him a ring. Well he has a band that has been flourishing since 2004-ish. They have a CD coming out soon and I'm getting one. ^.^ So, what should I do now that I live 6 hours away from him? I could be a band groupie...

Ughhh!

Mark has quit ET forever. Noooo! But I have his e-mail so that's a good thing. I'm still gonna miss him on here though. Apparently some girl wanted to have a kid with him. *Raises eyebrow* Oooook...

Fate has a way of sucking...horribly.

What a strange illusion it is to suppose that beauty is goodness.

One of my friends (*Cough*ExBoyfriend*Cough*) told this to me today when he saw how bloody horrible I feel about myself. I know it's not goodness but it doesn't mean I don't want to be beautiful. I just wish my body was made better, I guess. I don't mind my facial features or even my sickly pale skin. I just hate my body! I can't seem to ever keep a stable weight. I'm either a size 3(US) in my jeans or a size 7 or 9... I was so happy with my weight for a while and I still didn't feel beautiful but then I moved and it all came crashing back. It's not fair...

Besides my rantingness (not sure that's a word 0.o) I walked the dog today and it still had loads of energy! >.< I wanted to tire it out so that it would leave me alone and wouldn't bite/hump me anymore... *Cries* But after ignoring it for awhile, it finally went to chew on something and I could sleeeeep... *Sigh*

I spent the whooole day shopping with my mother and step-father! Ah, the freedom... Even if I didn't have any money, I had my mom and she always buys me something. Which is awesome but I wouldn't care if she didn't. I just like spending time with her and my step-dad.

So first we went to see "Into the Deep" at the IMax theatre in 3D! It was so cool, I reached out to touch the stuff and I couldn't! Duh... After the movie we went and ate at Rotten Ronnie's (AKA McDonald's) and I was like "Ughhh, I've had so much McDonald's food lately." Then we shopped and when my parents stopped somewhere I wasn't interested in I fell asleep in the car in the sun and I swore if I could purr, I would have. After shopping we went to dinner at a resturant (Yay, more grease!) and I had *Sigh* a poutine. No wonder I've gained so much weight. Not to mention the donuts in between meals. All in all it was from 11am until 8pm but it was worth it.

I bought a new bra! Well, rather my mother bought me a new bra... Yayness! I was in desperate need of one and this one was 50$ (before the sale price :P). But it is so worth it! *Sigh* It's an ITech bra. Heavenly! Even if you didn't need to know that, I just had to share my excitement! But that was all I got. :) I love coming to my mom's house.

When I was little and my parents got divorced I hated Scott (my step-dad)! I guess I kind of blamed him on my parent's problem and I am so suprised he didn't give up because my sister and I made life for him a living hell. But as I grew up, I grew to love him too. In some ways he seems more like a dad to me then my real father does. I don't mean to say I don't love my dad, because I do, but there's a bond between my step-dad and I that is lacking in the relationship I have with my father. Sometimes I do wonder what it would be like if my parents were still together and, to be honest, I come to the conclusion that it's better off this way because when I think about life without my step-dad it's like losing my real dad.

My dad tries so hard to be the number one father and I do appreciate his effort but sometimes I feel like he just doesn't understand that I'm growing up and I need my space. Then there is the issue of my step-mother. When she goes away for a week to visit her family it's like I'm 9 years old again and it's me and my dad, having fun and spending time together again. Then when she's back the space between us gets wider until I feel like I don't really have a dad but a father instead. I kind of feel torn between two worlds when I go from step-dad to real-dad because I'm not sure what a real dad is supposed to feel like anymore. Is it supposed to feel like the bond between my step-dad and I or is it supposed to be the big cold gap between my real-dad and I? It's so confusing.

I guess when it comes to family, I don't have the most screwed up family or anything but I come pretty close. 

Well I was going to write about my winterball the other night but I didn't really feel like it since it was too depressing and still is. So for those of you I didn't tell, I guess you'll never know.

March break is finally here!!! *Jumps up and down screaming* Omg, this was looooooooong over-due. I am exhausted. I'm at my mother's house and Cooper-Pooper is so cute (Except when he is biting you)! So I don't have much to write about because besides the eight hour bus ride here I haven't done anything and it feels wonderful... *Sigh*

Note on burnt spot-> Has gotten worse and has now formed itself into a deep hole in my neck that oozes puss. Ew...

Besides the very exciting piece of info, 3 more harshly long days until March Break!

March Break= One week of bliss with my new puppy, my mummsy and GuildWars until 4am *Hugs GuildWars* Oh the joy! ^.^
But still, I have to endure 3 more days of school! Ughh, who invented such a stupid thing anyways?! Well I suppose they had a reason, but I think that reason is lost to us all now. Does anyone actually like school? If so, please explain to me what in the hell is so exciting about it? And... Can anyone tutour me in Physics, French, Chemistry and Math12? *Cries* I feel sooo overwhelmed! But I shall survive! After all, I need to make it to MarchBreak!!!!!

The burnt spot on my neck (one of three) is infected. Owww... *Cries* It really hurts. I can't even stand to have my shirt collar rub against it.

That demon with fur that I own (the cat) is so close to being squished between my two fingers that I can barely contain my excitement at not being mauled everytime my hand is in reach. The demon seems intent on giving me at least 10 scars on each hand. So far she has succeded in giving me three on one hand and one on the other. But not only will she not cease in attacking my hand but she won't leave me alone!!! Everytime I turn around she's there, everytime I walk she's under my feet and everytime I go in my room she howls until I open the door to yell at her or let her in.

See, the reason I don't let her in is because she seems to think that not only is she bigger then my dog, but that she is infact a dog... My dog sleeps in my room on her dog bed. So when the demon comes in, she tries to eat the dog food. I pry her away from that and she plays with the dog's water. So then the dog gets up to shoo the demon away and eat the food/drink the water. Then the damn demon goes and lies in the middle of the dog's very large dog bed making it so the dog can't lie down. And the dog is old mind you so she can't lie on the floor. So when the damn thing gets tired of that she attacks the dog! Ughh! Now you can see why I don't let her in my room...

Today I was cleaning my room and when I opened the door with about 5 glasses(one with water in it) and a dog dish in my hand the cat was right there! I shoved her with my foot but she still somehow got tangled in my feet and down I went, smacking my head on the floor and spilled the water all over me and up in my nose. I was bloody fit to kill that damn demon cat!

Ok so, just thought you ought to know that today I didn't do a thing... Yay!

Well I went to the doctors office today. OWWWWW! *Cries uncontrollably* I didn't cry then and I'm still not crying but I almost did. They burnt some moles off my neck and it huuuurt!!! Well actually the part where they took a metal rod that went *Zzzzt!* everytime it touched you, wasn't the worst because I couldn't feel it... The worst was the freezing when they stuck the need in. I felt it go in, I felt the freezing stuff enter me and I felt him pull the needle out. The worst part was that the doctor actually did that squirt thing with the needle. You know, like they do in the movies...

Three times they did this!!! Why me?!

I.Can't.Stay.Awake. I feel dead. I could barely keep my eyes open during my tests. Actually during one of the times I did fall asleep, my pencil fell and I jumped and kicked the desk and everyone looked at me weird. Yaaaa....I'm okay *Shifty Eyes* Ughh