i am nobody
    nobody is perfect
           therefore i am perfect

.and the sky went black as if it was night.then the clouds went as if they were the same colour as the sky on a cold winter night.the rain poured from the sky and did not seem to want to stop intill the world was rained under and there was not one drop of water left in the heavens.with all this darkness and quietness there was but one thing that stood out.the thunder and lightining ripping the sky apart with its shocking light and mighty noise..no one could miss this stop.


thats the kind of storm i want

my poems are now in sarah's poetry
please take a look.

well i went 2 ollies party............what a f**king waste of time,it was a nightmare...it wasn't a party it was a "lets be homophobic spitful moronic jerks fest"....i am so sick of the morons round here.....none of us deserve the abuse we get and we only get it cus we're brilliantly different(has 2 tell self that so i don't cry)....well it was a shamble....and i almost hit some body cus u know i'm the weird one for seeing beauty in 2 people being happy..........i hate them all so much.....they don't deserve/need/want/ this so why...........no really why?

...

oh yay i get 2 go 2 [-ollywood-]s party 2nite i'm going with [I stabbith ye] and [Assimilation].we're 15 and 16 and we're gonna be at a party full of pi**ed 13 year olds (me and [I stabbith ye] don't drink)
we're gonna be just sat there 4 two and a half hours watching some dumbass kids that hate u get totally wrecked................i'll write in this later so u know how crap it was.......................stupid [-ollywood-]

i want a storm, a scary frightening and sky spliting storm.......the ones in the middle of the day that still manage to turn the sky as black as my soul
i want it to cleart the air,then i'll be able to breath properly.the weathers to close and has been for a long time...........i good storm should clear it..rather then the pittyful couple of drops we get now and again

i love animations plz send me some if you find some good ones



this is to show me that everyone will find someone that and i like these pics. look at it dance.tehehe

i want a storm, a scary frightening and sky spliting storm.......the ones in the middle of the day that still manage to turn the sky as black as my soul

i'm a believe that stories, poems and artwork can give strong messages and paint images of there creators.....i also write poetry but i would rather a few people read it before i put it on my page.........please email me to tell me what you think .thankyou for your time.so here we go:

MY LOVE AND HATE
if you hurt him you will see,
my knife plunging into thee,
and ye wicked blood shall spill,
as it is my want and will,
and ye shall die and i shall be,
forever happy and merry,
then your soul shall rot aswell,
as you forever burn in hell,
and as you suffer all this pain,
never will you hurt him again,
he is my love,my world, my all,
if i were to lose him i would fall,
and meet you in that hell foreve,
but i shall forget him never,
but if my heart goes black and cold,
know this message till your old,
i will never be at rest,
because my friend i am the best,
you can't defeat or stop or kill me,
i am here and thats how it shall be,


DARKNESS

so if it comes,
ad devours my soul,
and pierces my mind,
and burns through my heart,
what am i to do?,
hurt myself and my friends?,
let my body become a weapon?,
and let this hatred grow?,
so if i cannot let this happen,
let the darkness take me on,
because in the end,
it'll be the one,
running in fear,

(untitled)
leave me here to contemplate,
all my anger pain and hate
walk away and let me be,
i know you want whats best for me,
but all i need is time to think,
to stop the feeling of my heart about to sink,
so leave me be and here i'll stay,
to live and fight another day,

MY ROOM
as i sit here in my room,
i think of all my hate and gloom,
and down my window ran the rain,
so i thought of my tears and pain,
then i thought of you, you see,
and how happy your love makes me,
so i forgot all my hatred and sorrow,
and thought of the joy when i see you tomorrow,
so i shall leave you to contemplate,
the way to get rid of all ones hate,
so you can sit there in our room,
and think of all your hate and gloom

(untitled)
you loved and lost,
you tryed and failed,
you gave 100% and got back nothing,
you wanted someone and still do,
you wished on a star and it burned out,
you needed a friend and you got me,
and all i could do waswrite this stupid poem,

INNER UGLYNESS

on that godforsaken morn,
the son of satan he was born,
the tortured soul then grew and grew,
and his hatred entered you,
and your heart and mind went black,
but you couldn't give that damm curse back,
so you tortured many more,
so as i sit here on the floor,
i beg you please,to stop the cruelty,
and to show your inner beauty,
but i doub't this will be the case,
so i shall leave without a trace................

HEARTACHE
theres no cure,
it doesn't go away,
if its true and hits your heart,
its with you for eternity,
you don't get over it,
you take it with you,
you cry because of it,
your heart hardens,
and you lose your faith in love,
if this all happens to you remember.........
how ever bad the pain is,
theirs someone for everyone,
just hope and believe,
and when you find it.........hold on to it

TERRIFIED
i can hardly breath,
theres nowhere to run,
noone to turn to,
its behind me,
smothering me,
pulling me down,
all i can sence is the fear,
it can't be much longer,
intill it catches and kills me,
at least then i can stop running,

(untitled)
i doubt you mwill ever read this,
i know how much you don't care,
so why even waste your time,
on the sparks that were never there?
so burn this note like all the others
leave me here to cry
but be different to me compared to them,
atleast tell me goodbye,
so leave me and everyone else
that cared for you before,
and know that your not welcome here,
once you walk out that door,

A POEM

i can't find the words,
to tell you how i feel,
as i try to write you a poem,
i just can't seem to think straight,
i want to tell you the truth,
but the words are stuck in my mind,
unable to escape out my mouth,
i doubt you would even listen,
if i told you anyway,
so i'll keep my thoughts
and you keep yours
and we'll both keep living the lie
because neither of us want to listen

IT'S KILLING ME

thepain within is growing strong
and i can't seem to stand it
it hurts me so but its not my fault
i didn't want or plan it
i hate it its killing me
i grow weaker every day
i wish i knew why it picked my
am i being made to pay
for a crim i've not commited
i'm innocent can't it see
that i've done nothing wrong
but still its killing me

GOODBYE
the leaves are turning golden
and soon they will all fall
then i must be departing
but know i love you all
its not my fault i'm leaving
and i care for you so much
but i'll be gone forever
and i can't keep in touch
so as i leave i'll tell you
i hate to go away
i wish i didn't have to go
but there really is no way
that i can stay here with you
the leaves fall on the ground
so shut the door behind you
i wish i could stick around

i wish he felt the same
i wish he wanted 2 be with me
i wish he could tell me how he feels about me so if its bad i can stop dreaming.
i doubt he'll read this and if he does he won't reply
i just wanted 2 get my feelings down
thankyou
i want someone that cares for me and will hug me when i need someone

last day of school 2day.all the girls were crying and we were all emotional cus we're all emotional..........*sniffle*

should i ? shouldn't i?why not?who'ld miss me?who'ld care?whats the point of it all?

what do i do?
what am i?
why can't i stop?
who needs me?
why can't i find the courage 2 end it all?
i wish i was loved or cared 4

difficult     me & my best friend in the world had an arguement and although we're talking its small talk.i need him soooooooo much and i can't seem to open up 2 him.everytime i do sumthing i'm in the wrong with him,myself,everyone else....etc etc.
why am i even writting this u ppl don't give a dam.
what do i do?i'm gonna lose him.....i can't let that happen.....he's everything 2 me.

why even f**king bother?

hey me again....we who did you expect in my diary?lol
well i'm really confussed,i fancy lads but resently i've been attracted to girls,ppl who know me know i hate homophobes so its not like i'm bothered if i'm bi or whatever,its just that i can't tell what these feeling are or how strong they are(or could be).i just wish i knew what these feelings are.

hello all.i doubt any of you will read this so i'll ramble on and on and on and *trails off*
well yesterday was fun except i'm worried about [I stabbith ye] cus i know how depressed he is but i don't know how to help him all i do is make him feel worse .....what to do? what to do? how do you help a broken heart thats supposed to be whole,that only one person can fix?
they can't get together but they can't be apart its killing them both.........any ideas??????please help



anybody?