Yoss vs. Breakfast Radio

Now I know I'm not one to have a rant very often, but I guess I just couldn't hold this rant in any longer... Perhaps I should title it Rant Of The iPodless, but that sort of detracts from the seriousness of this issue facing today's commuters... So, without further ado, please enjoy:

"Breakfast" Programs On The Radio... WTF??!
Okay, so, what is the deal with what all half-decent FM music radio stations broadcast between 6am and 9am in the morning? Every single radio station, even the really good ones, the one for old music and the one for rock, all have two or three un-funny, boring people who spend three hours talking about inane crap! I mean, who decided that EVERYONE wants to hear TALK on their favourite MUSIC radio station FIRST FRICKIN' THING IN THE MORNING?? Who wants to hear three morons trying to talk over the top of each other about who they like best on Dancing With The Stars while they're stuck in the morning traffic jam? Sure, a little talk from a witty DJ or host or whatever is good now and then, but can we at least have as much music time as we have talk time? From when I get on the bus at 7:30am until I get off the bus at 8:45am, if I stuck to one radio station, I'd be lucky to hear 3 songs. Three! And THAT is supposed to promote loyalty to their station? Ha. The worst part about this whole thing is that the good music and less talk starts as soon as you get to work or school... hence, as soon as you get out of your car or turn off your walkman... and you can't even enjoy it! And this all goes without mentioning the subject matter of the chatter that assaults our ears every morning. Seriously, what if you don't watch Dancing With The Stars or Desperate Housewives? What if Big Brother is boring as all hell to you? Then you can't even start thinking about beginning to enjoy the ramblings of these radio morons. I wish I could force whoever invented Breakfast radio programs to sit and listen to all of them, all day, every day, until their brains explode from boredom and impatience.

Phew, it feels good to get that out of my system.

In other news, nothing much. Going to uni. Watching Silver Surfer (IT ROCKS!!!). Chatting to [lacklustre] and [MisterScurvy]. No word from Prince Craphead (aka Charming). Also I have a cold... I hope it's not that nasty case of Legionaire's disease that's been going around Monash, with the coughing and the dying and so forth. Then again I'm a drama queen, so it's probably just a normal cold. Aw well, any excuse to stay home from uni.

Back To Hell

Yeah, you guessed it, I'm back at uni. Hence I haven't blogged for a while, because now I basically run between food, sleep, uni, work, TV and chat (mainly to the incredibly cool [lacklustre]!). No time to start BBQ Man, no time to bum around at home reading the paper, and very little time to keep this blog ship shape. But hey, at least I have something to write about when I do write!

Nebs and I have been watching Silver Surfer... I forgot what a brilliant cartoon it is... truly beautiful looking, characters are awesome, Thanos has the most over-done voice you can imagine, Silver Surfer says "and yet" and "power cosmic" about every five minutes... yeah, it's great.

Pez the Genius fixed the flash preloader for "I'm A Rapper" - also www.fuzzymuffins.com uploaded our animation to their website! (To see it, go to the link and click on "our new friends nebs and yoss" on the left hand side of the page).
I think albinoblacksheep want it too.. our page is getting a lot of hits, I think on average about 10 per day! That's a good sign (And it's not all us either, Pez made it so that when we look at the page it doesn't count as a hit).

Not that I care, but Prince Reality hasn't called or anything. He can shove it if he thinks he's getting a date on Saturday. I have an AUSOM meeting, and am earning $50 for it.

By the way, if you want to see the new design of the "I'm A Rapper" page, visit: http://elwood.vic.edu.au/home/lie50/

Lady Chaos. Statue. Seeks Thanos.

Let's see what has happened... well, for starters, Tattil Smithie didn't get her letter published... I would be cross about it, were it not for the fact that everyone else must have had the same idea - 2 letters published were complaining about the Melbourne Magazine's Target-shootdown. (Mystified? You just haven't read enough of my blog, that's all! Scroll down a few entries until you find the one with the picture of the girl in the green dress giving a one finger salute). Better yet, one of the letters got letter of the week, and the lucky sap got some grand prize like a weekend away for two. Well, fat lot of good it would do me... erm, I mean Tattil, anyway.

Speaking of which, Prince Reality called... he seemed to think everything was just hunky dory... I think he forgot that he forgot our last date. I should have berated him more about it. But still I stuck it to the man and told him if that he's not himself and it's not fun watching him sleep, and to go back to being himself, and that I'm busy and I don't really want to see him if he's like he was on our last date. He ended the phone call with an abrupt "see ya." Well, I'm over him anyway.

In other news, Nebs and I went shopping on Friday... we had a wonderful time! I got 2 pairs of black pants (now I can wear black pants EVERY DAY!), a black sleeveless top, a purple top to go over it (looks great and Nebsy can wear it too), Nebs got some army coloured pants (they look great as well) and we bought a few "unmentionables", some makeup and food during the day. But the highlight would have to have been how we snuck into Date Movie and saw it for free! There was a very funny cat-and-toilet-involving scene... I laughed a lot. I give Date Movie 3.5 stars. It's no Jackass, but it's pretty good.

Tomorrow, I go back to uni... my timetable is pretty good. I have 2 nine o'clock starts each week (awww hell!) and I go to uni every day (except weekends of course) but I usually get out at or before midday except for Friday when I get out at... shock, horror... 2:00pm! Aaaaargh! It's so late! *Runs away screaming*.

Well, for those who actually read through the above, yearning to decipher what today's blog title is about... it is about this: right now, we're downloading Silver Surfer episodes 1 through 3... (episode 2 has Lady Chaos and Thanos in it)... cool! How I wish I had a Thanos.

Fame and Fortune... Maybe Not...

Here's the address to my animation again, in case you missed my last entry and are too lazy to scroll down:
http://elwood.vic.edu.au/home/lie50/

Well, everything is going well... I spammed everyone I knew about my animation, so did Nebs, and Pez told a few of his friends about it. I've got a lot of warm responses to it on Elftown... made 2 new ET friends in the last week! :D I haven't made new ET friends for ages... I have a rather sickeningly short list compared to everyone else. Sad, really.

Anyway, Nebs uploaded the animation onto Newgrounds, it got 200 views, but they didn't like it enough, so it got "blammed" (taken down). It's "obituary" is here:
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view.php?id=297233
Damn you, Newgrounds Fanboys! Damn you and your stupid tank logo to hell! A jihad on Newgrounds.

Pez added a hit counter to the site the flash is on (unfortunately after the "Newgrounds 200" visited... Last time I checked it was at about 10 people. I guess that's cool.)

So I guess now, unless Nebsy finds a beat and decides to write another rap, I'll start work on Barbecue Man (the thing I'd planned to do before I got Flash and realised how hard it was). Boy, this is going to be funny.

Still no word from Prince Reality... he hasn't returned any of my calls, he never answers the phone... he could be dead for all I know. That just about does it, I'm setting my ET civil status back to "single" instead of "strange". And I'm keeping the expensive necklace he gave me, damnit! I don't often say it, but I deserve better.

Tonight there's a Christian Union function at La Porchetta in Box Hill that me and Nebs are going to... it's going to be awesome... at last, an excuse to wear makeup! And wash my hair! One thing led to another and somehow I ended up not washing it for a week and a half... I hate to imagine how much of it is going to fall out in the shower... good thing I have thick hair. I think I'll wear blaaack (extra a's for extra black) and all my bead jewelery. Ahhh, how I've missed planning what to wear like a dizzy schoolgirl.
The thing is, when I go to Christian Union functions, I feel like the girl they describe in "Too Many Guys":
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/flash/toomanyguys-groupx.html
"Prostitute. I hate you. Put down the oreo crackers and quit doing the sex."
... Well, compared to everyone else.
Anyway, I must go... Nebs found a cool beat and I want to do some freestylin'!

Fame and Fortune Lie Ahead...

http://elwood.vic.edu.au/home/lie50/

Prince Reality

Yeah... Prince Charming hasn't called in like, a week. We had a date planned for Saturday, but he didn't show up, so I sat around in my jewelery and good date clothes all day working on the "I'm A Rapper" Flash animation. I know, I could have called the Prince, but I always have to call him when he's 2 hours late for a date, and I'm sick of it... I probably had more fun making the animation (it was deliciously fun!).

Prince Charming changed... I can compare how he was before to ADSL Broadband internet, and the way he is now to a dodgy dial-up connection. Of course, it isn't his fault, I just wish he would change back.

Due to all the stuff going on next week, if I don't stay over at Charming Castle on Monday night (tomorrow night) then I don't stay over at Charming Castle until the mid-term holidays (damn uni timetable and stupid work). I should get a pet. My timetable means I would literally be able to care for it. Perhaps I should adopt one of the mice in the compost bin.

I'm A Rapper...

Well, she did it. Inspiration for a rap with a beat thanks to [pelv13], music thanks to Microsoft Powerpoint, further inspiration to record, music on our computer and mp3-age by [MisterScurvy] and recording by me, Nebsy finally recorded her rap. It's called "I'm A Rapper", and it is absolutely awesome. Like, I can't listen to my favourite songs any more because by comparison, they suck. Nebsy's rap is for the attention span of today... it's very short, but that is just perfect for the Flash animation I'm making as it's videoclip! (Lots of fun).

Well, in other news, things with Prince Charming ain't going so great... I found out the reason for his seeming lack of interest (which fortunately isn't lack of interest)... but it's kind of too personal to disclose in my blog. Let's just say that he slept through most of valentines day, didn't open his valentines day card (but he ate the cookies), and his broadband got absolutely OWNED. I just hope he is back to normal soon... his mum says it'll be 2 to 3 weeks if all goes well.

Today I went to a youth forum... I thought it would be a Labor Party do, but it wasn't, it's just the 3 MPs that were there were all ALP simply because the Labor Party rocks. Basically it was me and a whole bunch of 16 year olds in school uniforms sitting on couches and talking with Anne Eckstein and Peter Lockwood about the issues young people in our area face. I got a few words in, I just hope I made a difference. :)


Anyway, I got a rap videoclip to make!

Dealing Crack

I'm still in my Stepford Yoss transformation, having just baked shortbreads for Prince Charming for Valentines day. They are pink, heart-shaped, and sickeningly sweet. It was better this year, because I didn't have to hand-cut the heart shapes, thanks to the heart cookie cutter that Queen Charming (Prince's mum) gave me for Christmas. Mind you, it's not quite as romantic... But they look just to die for.

Anyway, I'll bet you're wondering about the title of today's blog entry...

Short story shorter, I wore my loose pants to work today... I hadn't realised exactly how loose they were until I was crouched down sweeping with a dustpan and brush. I swear, those pants had to be lower than half-mast. Boy, I hope no customers saw. For that matter, I hope even more that the boss didn't see... she would think I was mooning her, that is how low the pants were. Next time I'll safety-pin them for sure, or buy some "crack spackle" - if it existed - lest I end up the next laughingstock of the internet, or worse, fired.

Speaking of funnyness, Nebs and I have been laughing our asses off at the oodles of pictures on eBaum's... I'll link you to some of the best ones:

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/purplehairfreak.html - This is just gorgeous.
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/fingerouch.html - Hmmm... it's called "Finger Ouch"... what could it be???!!!
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/anallube.html - A warning to us all.
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/perfectw.html - The Perfect Woman.
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/findebaum.html - The man eBaum himself.
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/freecat.html - Nebs and I laughed the most at this one.

Enjoy the subtleties of this...

(In this pic, my bum is actually one of the pink heart-shaped cookies I made.)
((Sorry about the breached copyright and Elftown Rules... don't tell anyone about this pic or I'll photochop your head into a weird photo and sent it in to eBaum's World for Fan of the Month. Don't push me, damn you, I'll do it!))

Aminamations

You know what I'm going to crap on about in today's blog entry, right? Yes, after much puzzling and thinking and stuffing up and listening to rap music, I have finally made a Flash animation... it isn't particularly good (no sound, no cute stick figures, no violence, no Barbecue Man), but it is an actual Flash Animation. It's basically pictures of [pelv13] flying across the screen in various directions, while his name changes colour in the centre.

But althought the animation isn't particularly exciting (not that [pelv13] isn't exciting...), I have learnt so much stuff! And I have started on 2 other animations, one being a cute stick figure of me with blue hair, the other being a kid with a big eye and a little eye that says "Hey you! Don't do drugs!" (except no sound or text yet). But I think I may be able to make characters walk across the screen now. But I'll try that later...

In other news, things with Prince Charming aren't going so terrific... he seems to be losing interest, or changing in personality or something. I'm not usually one to bag out other people in my blog, and the Prince is a great guy, but I just ain't real cheery at the moment... Where are Nebs and Pez to tickle me and write "EMO" on my hands when I need them? Ah well, off to eBaum's world to read jokes...

P.S. Still no news on the graphic design job I applied for there. I check my email twenty times a day.

You Can't Spell Disrespect Without Respect

Well, I made it a day without writing my blog... hey, I'm getting better. But my point is this: Batman and Robin live in a Bat Cave. (See... I went crazy in the process).

Just kidding. Partially. Anyway, I have some great news! Thanks to [MisterScurvy] I now have Macromedia Studio MX, so I can make aminamations. I did all the lessons already (and forgot them all, so I'm pretty much stuck), and despite this, I hope that my Flash Animation Brainchild, Barbecue Man, can come to life sometime in the next month.

In other news, I should be mad, because I didn't get Fan of the Month on eBaum's... damnit... but there is no shame in being beaten by the best, and this guy beats my photo hands down: http://www.ebaumsworld.com/fotmfeb06.html
The madness is in part counteracted by Flash, and also by my delight that my Customer Jokes forum posting is doing great... I've got a lot more postings, including but not limited to:
"what a waste of 30 seconds reading"
"I'm going to throw a brick at your face."
"Too bad most of the fast food employees are dumbasses. Advice for your next life: Go to college."
And several:
"just get my fucking order right"'s.

I think there was one in there that was vaguely supportive of store clerks/fast food workers, although no positive comments on the jokes. He he he, aww well, I feel special not being ignored. I mean, if it was Elftown, no one would say anything good or bad.
Anyway, enough griping, I'm off to serve hundreds of customers at work.

Chinese Banquet / Various eBaum's World Ramblings

Ahh, blog, dearest blog... I know it is kind of sad of me to write a blog entry the day after I wrote a blog entry (the day after I wrote another blog entry, and especially to start it with "blog, dearest blog"), but "sometimes I think you're the only one that gets me. You're my best friend." - Emo video. Seriously... I don't know whether to be happy or mad... I at last got a comment on my customer jokes forum thread on eBaum's world, saying that they were "a waste of 30 seconds reading", or something like that. But I'll probably settle on "happy" that I got any response and leave "mad" for when someone else gets Fan of the Month (Nebs and I spent at least ten minutes taking the photo of me looking like Cousin It, and I don't want those ten minutes to go to waste).

Speaking of go to waist... WHAT A BANQUET!! Last night, my uncle Dick, his Chinese wife JoJo, her son Gigi, JoJo's brother Bobba, Bobba's wife Lee Ching and their son Dring-Dring (sorry... names are spelt phonetically here) came to visit us, and JoJo cooked us a Chinese banquet! It was wonderful... soup with tomato and egg, fish with soy and ginger, octopus, seafood extender with dipping vinegar, asparagus, delicious thin cut potato cooked in oil with capsicum, prawns, lettuce and probably some more stuff that I can't remember. They also brought this super-strong alcohol stuff called "fire water"... WOW!! Boy, I tell you, fire water is a bit of an understatement. Although mixing it with soft drink helped a lot. Come to think of it, last night was quite a bit of a booze up... at any given time there were twice as many glasses on the table as there were people at the table... Nebs and I had our Smirnoff Ice Double Black (2 bottles each), shared a shot glass of fire water and then had some ginger wine (really good!).
Anyway, I think the Chinese branch of our family enjoyed themselves... only 2 of them (JoJo and Dring-Dring) could speak any English, but I think the atmosphere of a big, loud, cheerful family meal was something anyone can appreciate, in any language. So, the visitors stayed the night at our place and left this morning.

Anyway, I've spent today un-neglecting the penpals that I had previously been neglecting... also I sent an email applying to help with graphic design on eBaum's world because a) it's a brilliant site and b) because of my unsurpassed genius at Photoshop... well, okay, I'm not the greatest, but I can do a hell of a great photo manip or website banner... I mean, usually anything to do with my art or poetry goes largely ignored on Elftown, but people ASK me to make them banners for their wikis! And that's saying something! Damn Elftown, sometimes I get real cheesed off that no one gives a crap about my work, and I would join Deviantart, but the username Lady Chaos is taken. Come on! I stole that name from Silver Surfer first, everyone else should leave it alone. Anyway, I'm rambling, cross your fingers for me, I wanna be a graphic design Yoss.

While reading a few of the jokes in the forums on eBaums, Nebs and I found this one, which cracked us up:
Q: What is black and sits at the top of the stairs?
A: Christopher Reeve during a house fire.

Quote of the day - Pez Sez: "Wouldn't you just love to 'nade Steve Jobs?"
(Pez is a die-hard Mac and Steve Jobs fan... Steve must have called the latest Mac some stupid name. 'Nade = grenade).

Customer Jokes

Well, I know I don't give my loyal and faithful blog readers (all two of you!) much to enjoy here... I mean, it's all Prince Charming this and I'm so cool that, and so I thought you deserved a little treat. I was going to make you go all the way into eBaumsworld.com to read these, but considering you actually make the effort to read my blog, you can have them for free. These are some customer jokes that Nebsy and I thought up... they are incredibly funny, and so true, based around the sole premise that customers are stupid and annoying. (Which, if you have ever worked in retail, you will know to be completely accurate).

What's the difference between customers and vegetables?
Customers have arms and legs.

What do customers do when they see there is a huge queue forming behind them?
Take out their credit cards.

Why are customers like bandaids?
Because you want to rip them off.

What's the difference between a customer and a fly?
You can swat a fly and not get fired.

What did the customer say to the mushroom?
"Hi mom!"

What's worse than an impatient, angry customer?
An impatient, angry customer when the boss is watching.

What's the difference between the rubbish bin and the floor?
To a customer: nothing.

What happens when a customer turns a corner?
They get lost.

What seven-letter word attracts customers with complicated orders?
Trainee.

What did the customer with the indecipherable accent say to the tired, flustered clerk?
Garbled nonsense!

Where did they finally find the customer that had been dead for five weeks?
In with all the other turnips.

Why don't customers need ladders?
Because shelves will do.

How can you tell when a queue has formed behind the customer you are serving?
When they decide to pay in five cent pieces.

What did the customer say as they walked out of the shopping centre?
"Where's the till? I need to pay for all this."

What do you say when you see a customer who needs the bathroom?
"Cleanup in aisle..."

How do you tell that it's closing time?
There is a little old lady customer behind the tallest set of shelves.

What did the customer say to the question "Eat in or take away?"
"Gift-wrapped, please."

What did the drive-thru customer do when told that there was a 2 minute wait on their burger?
Drive off without it.

Why did the customer walk out without paying for the saucepan?
Because he thought it was stainless steal.

What did the customer say to the sales assistant about the table?
"That's a very big barstool!"

eBaum Groupie #... well, they don't give us numbers

2004, it was Elftown. 2005, it was the Labor Party. The Thing That I Have Joined for 2006 is *drumroll*... www.ebaumsworld.com.

It is, in no uncertain terms (sorry Elftown), the best site on the net... like a never-ending Mad Magazine, only with animations and games and pictures and everything! And now that I have broadband, I can fully appreciate it! I prattled on about how good it was in my first forum posting (Ever. I have no idea how forums work. It's weird...)

Anyway, I'm going to go think up funny stuff to post in the forum for funny stuff... I have already got plans for my very first Flash Animation (oooh, I get all tingly just thinking about it!)

For those too lazy to lift your eyes, the web address for eBaums World is: www.ebaumsworld.com

Oooh, oooh, right, in other news!! I watched Jackass The Movie... it was BRILLIANT - 5 stars, right up there with Kill Bill and The Proposition... I probably enjoyed it more than most of The Proposition, it was just so funny! The perfect movie for my attention span. Unless you clicked on the link to eBaumsworld, the I command you to go out and rent Jackass.

Tattil Smithie Strikes Back

Well, perhaps being Home Alone wasn't quite the adventure Nebs and I (and Pez) had planned... not a drop of alcohol was consumed (well, okay, we did put some dry sherry in the spiced beef pasta salad we made... see The Cyber Kitchen for the recipe), no drugs were taken (well, okay, no ILLEGAL drugs were taken... me damn stomach ulcer needs its prescription pills) and very few firearms were used. But we did manage to have McDonalds twice in a row! Yaaay!

In other news, my alter ego (ego with a capital E-G-O) "Tattil Smithie" has struck again. I first used that name when I wrote in to The Age to complain about the glossiness and the "it's only for rich people"-ness of the Melbourne Magazine... lousy piece of crap that it is. I just didn't want to put my real name to such an unapologetic whinge. Anyway, I, or rather, Tattil, actually wrote in to the January edition of the Melbourne Magazine to complain about an article... basically the article was on fashion, and it was bagging out Target, and I thought (okay, Tattil thought): "Why do you rich bastards need to heap MORE crap on poor people like me who can't afford to buy clothes at better shops than Target and other cheap-ass places?" So Tattil Smithie wrote her second whiny letter (appearing in your copy of the Melbourne Magazine sometime in Feb.)

Just for the heck of it, here is an artists' interpretation of Tattil Smithie:


Hmmmm... I've just done some thinking and realised... Because the prize for the best letter of the issue is like, a weekend away for two at a fancy-pants hotel, the only letters in the last issue were ass-kissing ones... so there is a good chance that Tattil's Gripe won't get published. Unless they want some poorly-written variety... Still, cross your fingers that Tatters gets her letter published, it will be worth it to stick it to those rich snobbies.

Like It's 1999

Yes, tap the keg*, crank up the music, spark the doobies**, and put some poor sucker with a mobile phone on Cop Watch*** at the bottom of the street, because THE PARTY STARTS HERE!!

Yes, that's right, early tomorrow morning, The Parentals leave for Newcastle, leaving Nebs and I to fend for ourselves for 4 days. Ohh, it's going to be bliss! Breakfast in front of the computer every day, dishes in the sink until the night before our parents get back, McDonalds every day for lunch...
On the down side, there'll be no one to drive me to and pick me up from work, cook dinner, or bring the newspaper into the house in the morning so I don't have to run out in my PJ's to get it.

Also, on the 25th of Jan, it's Prince Charming's 24th birthday... I still haven't bought him a present, and I'm not sure what to get. I mean, how do you get a meaningful present for a guy? With girls, it's easy, just buy us jewellery and you've got sentimental value and guaranteed use all in one, but for guys? *sigh*

Busy, Busy, Busy

Okay, I do realise the sigh and roll of your eyes as you embark on reading a blog entry titled "busy, busy, busy". So I'll try to keep it short and sweet.

Yes, I've been busy. The Prince and I have had many marvellous adventures... we got locked out of his flat, went to Rickett's Point Teahouse, watched The Beach, went to Cafe 181, watched Romeo + Juliet, and much more mischief. Work has been good... well, as good as work can be. The customers have been their good ol' docile selves, the meat shop is still cold, the bosses are still frightening.

I did eventually send my ex Mr Cadaver back his copy of Pulp Fiction and computer games... now he can "bring out the gimp" whenever he wants... heh heh. And, in other news, we now officially have broadband! So fast! So much internet! Yaaay!!!

On the 22nd or 23rd, my mum and dad are going to drive up to Newcastle. Nebs and I will have to fend for ourselves for 5 days! It's going to be a non-stop party, and you, dearest blog, will get all the details. Well, okay, not ALL the details. But hopefully there'll be some cool stories.

2005, The Year That Was...

Based on an idea gleaned partly from Greggles' blog, and partly from the newspaper, I've decided to write a spiel about 2005, although unlike Greggles, I can't remember what happened in what month, so I'll just put it in order. Enjoy!

Well, basically, 2005 was the best year of my life. And much as I can't really condense such a cool year into such a small space, here are some of the highlights and lowlights:

- I joined the Australian Labor Party and became political... I wrote an awesome letter into The Age about how good my party is, and later, joined the 2 Labor clubs at uni, got socks with the ALP logo on them, accidentally attended a Young Labor Unity (right faction) event and helped out Ray Higgs during the local council elections.
- I got my first boyfriend ("Lurch", as his friends call him, or "Mr Cadaver" as my parents call him... not to his face though...), and although we're broken up now, we had some good times, and some funny times.
- I started my arts/science degree at Monash, and found out that although uni is a million times better than school (no matter what you do, you're not the weirdest one there), it is still horribly hard work.
- I got my first job at the Fish and Chip Shop... and although the bosses were nice, they watched me like a hawk and noticed every mistake I made. Not only that, but they paid me peanuts (albeit cash-in-hand peanuts), and my hair smelt like chips all the time.
- I turned 18 and grew from a girl into a woman... apparently... Not much of a party though.
- I dropped my first subject (Chemistry, which I got 82/100 for, but I hated it and have never regretted dropping it).
- I got fired from that awful, greasy, oily Fish and Chip shop, and had to become a tightarse with my money, a habit which I have yet to break.
- I got dumped for the first time and was hellishly lonely (no explanation necessary)
- I finished my first year of uni, getting a high distinction for all 3 subjects ! The parental units were well pleased.
- Perry broke his leg (read about it in previous entries, I'm not going into it again here!)
- I got my second job working at Get Fresh, the fruit and vegie shop, with the relatively nice, tolerant bosses who aren't always watching to see if you screw up.
- The aforementioned nice bosses somehow noticed the regularity with which I screwed up and instead of firing me, put me to work in Get Fresh Meats, where everything is scannable, the customers are more docile, and it's so cold that there's no way I'll ever faint.
- I met Prince Charming and found out how nice people can be, how special getting a phone call every day can make you feel and how physically attractive a human being can possibly be.
- I wrote "2005, The Year That Was".

Heaps Else Happened In 2005. I...
- Wrote heaps of poems
- Made heaps of pictures
- Chatted heaps on the net
- Downloaded heaps of music
- Wrote heaps of essays and stuff for uni
- Watched heaps of movies
- Met heaps of people who are now "accquaintances"
- Bought heaps of black clothes
- Spent heaps of time on the bus
- Ate heaps (>110 litres) of ice cream
- Had heaps of medical tests (tummy trouble)
- Laughed heaps
- Cried heaps
- Prayed heaps
- Slept heaps
- Yeah... I think that's it in terms of heaps...

Well, Happy New Year!

Prince Charming

Dear Diary, mood: apathetic.
Okay, not really. I've just been watching too much of the "Emo" video, so I couldn't resist putting some reference to it into my blog. Seriously, I'm not emo, despite what Pez and Nebs say... (And Pez has just informed me that writing my blog is a very emo thing to do. I threatened to paint his nails black.)

Anyway, for all those following the adventures of Lady Chaos, you will be pleased to learn that she has recently emerged from the Land of Loneliness, and is now travelling through the Land of Glorious Blissful Shimmering Happiness. Yes, that's right, it's now official... I have found my Prince Charming (and he actually likes me back)! So far we've been to see The Brothers Grim, to Scienceworks, the art gallery, my place, La Porchetta (twice), his place, out to dinner with his mum, to the Aquarium and to see Narnia.

In other news, there was Christmas (YAY!!) I got silver earrings from my parents (along with an ADSL Broadband router), zirconia earrings from my aunt, a Ming Dynasty necklace from Prince Charming, chocolates from Pez, money from my great uncle, and instant scratchies from my grampa. There'll probably be more presents from other family members, but that's it for now. (Disclaimer: Christmas was fun, as always, with lots of wonderful food and good company... it wasn't just about the presents, but I figure you didn't need to know a bite-by-bite account of what everyone ate, said and did on Christmas).

Well, that's all from the Chaos Network Newsdesk (CNN)... Tune in at the same time tomorrow if you want to read this again!

Joy Oh Joy Oh Joy

Wow. What a week. What a wonderful, wonderful week.... or however long it has been since I last wrote my blog... so much news, so little time. Oh, what the heck, I have all day. So here goes:

Remember how I had a job at the fruit and vegie shop? No? Aw well, I did. Anyway, the crowd that owns that opened up a butcher shop next door! AND gave me a job there! It is so much better than the fruit shop - everything is scannable! No guessing what an ambiguous fruit is, or which variety of lettuce someone has, no tedious weighing, no arriving half an hour early to look around, and the best part: no fainting because it's ice cold in there! That is a little bit of a drawback in that it's absolutely frickin' freezing, but hey, it'll be great for summer. And I'm burning all those calories keeping warm.

There is something else really good that happened this week that I'd like to write about... *cough* going out on dates *cough* but in fear of looking a gift horse in the mouth, I'd better not brag about it until things are a little more certain. Until then I'll just quietly dance around with joy.

Well, the final piece of great news: THE INTERNET IS BACK ON!! Yes, at last, at long last, I can send emails, read emails, run my Elftown Bank, upload my art and poetry and look up answers to the many questions in my mind that have built up without Google. Also, I believe a certain profile will be disappearing from RSVP... but that's another story.

Movie Reviews
Well, due to my life currently being in "the oubliette", I've been watching a hell of a lot of movies. Or should that be a heaven of a lot of movies, because they have been really good. So I thought I'd write some reviews:

Donnie Darko: 4 stars
[pelv13] liked it, so I thought I'd see it.
A very good movie... weird, cool and sometimes funny, but not so funny as to take away that perfect seriousness that makes a movie great for telling bad jokes about. Definitely worth seeing, and suprisingly voted Australia's 5th-favourite movie. I had to look up what actually happened in this movie on the internet it was that weird. But cool. Weird but cool.

The Nightmare Before Christmas: 5 stars
[pelv13] liked it, so I thought I'd see it.
A masterpiece of a movie, animated and gorgeous!! Jack Skellington is so cute and skinny looking with those spindly arms and legs. The musical numbers are terrific. The only fall-down point of this movie was Sally, Jack's love-interest who only ever said things like "no, that's a bad idea", but as Nebsy pointed out, there is always a negative character.

Alien: 2 stars
Nebsy got this movie for us. Why??!!
Since it was made before I was born, I can't be too harsh in my review of this yawn-fest of a movie. Perhaps people had longer attention spans back in the late seventies. Either way, not enough excitement, Aliens is a much better film, even if it's the sequel. I found my mind wandering off in the "suspenseful" moments of this movie. on the up side, there were some scary scenes, but overall, not enough blood, guts, or shots of the alien.

Clerks: 3 stars
A Jay and Silent Bob Movie recommended to us by Pez
Slightly better than alien... unfortunately in black and white. Quite funny, but ugh, did I mention it was in black and white? The black and whiteness of this movie dragged it down considerably. I couldn't tell the difference between the female characters. Jay and Silent Bob were good, but the main character was a bit of a drag. Worth a look.

Finding Nemo: 3 stars
[MisterScurvy] liked it. A review said you need therapy if you don't.
Well, it was alright. Shockingly Disney. It's like, "here's the bit where you're supposed to feel scared!", "Here's the bit where you're supposed to feel happy!", "Here's the bit where you're supposed to feel sad!". But there were some good moments... I like how much they mentioned Australia and the Aussie accents were convincing. The fish were very cute. The sharks were clever. Pretty good.

The Man Who Fell to Earth: 1 star
A David Bowie Movie. What can I say?
This movie is a testament to why stoned people shouldn't write films. Crappy, confusing, boring, tedious, way too long... David Bowie did a good job acting, and there may have been a sex scene, but those were the only good things about this lousy movie. Don't watch it, at all costs.

Reservoir Dogs: 4 stars
I read somewhere this movie involved Michael Madsen (hot, hot, hot) dancing while he tortured a guy, so I had to see it.
Wow!! What a gore-fest!! EVERYONE got shot. Well, almost. This movie was so deliciously violent, a true Tarantino film. The Michael Madsen Torture Scene was glorious!! Worth a look if you don't mind swearing, violence and Tarantino Films.

Well, that's all I can think of at the moment... more soon...

STUCK AT A COMPUTER WITH ONLY CAPITALS
YOU CAN PROBABLY TELL FROM THE TITLE OF THIS ENTRY THAT THE INTERNET IS STILL NOT ON, AND I'M AT MY DAD'S WORK WRITING THIS AGAIN. UNFORTUNATELY, THE CAPS LOCK KEY STICKS, AND AFTER I USED IT ONCE, IT HASN'T COME OFF YET.

SO, WHAT HAVE I BEEN UP TO LATELY? WELL, NOT MUCH... NO INTERNET REALLY HAS MARKED THE HORRIBLE CRUSHING DEATH OF MY SOCIAL LIFE... WELL, AT LEAST WITH PEOPLE MY AGE. I HELPED RAY HIGGS (A VERY NICE GUY AND A MEMBER OF MY LOCAL LABOR PARTY BRANCH) OUT WITH THE LOCAL COUNCIL ELECTIONS A WEEK AGO (I HANDED OUT HOW TO VOTE CARDS... UNFORTUNATELY HE DIDN'T WIN, BUT HE DID HAVE A COOL SIGN "VOTE 1 RAY BY MANGOES BANANAS" UP NEAR THE POLLING PLACE), THEN LAST NIGHT I WENT TO A LABOR PARTY SOCIAL MEETING AT ANNE ECKSTEIN'S (STATE MP) HOUSE. I WAS THE YOUNGEST ONE THERE BY A LOT.

ON THE UP SIDE, I GOT MY MARKS BACK FOR SEMESTER 2 OF UNI:
PSYCHOLOGY: 81/100 (AN IMPROVEMENT ON LAST SEMESTER'S 75)
BIOLOGY: 82/100 (AN IMPROVEMENT ON LAST SEMESTER'S 80)
SOCIOLOGY: 84/100 (AN IMPROVEMENT ON LAST SEMESTER'S 83)
SO I IMPROVED ON ALL OF THEM. PROBABLY BECAUSE I DROPPED CHEM THIS SEMESTER. A WISE CHOICE.

WELL, MY PROFILE IS SAFELY BACK UP ON RSVP.COM... MY WORK ON THE INTERNET IS DONE.