Seeing as this is my first entry.. i think i'll do a lil background on me and stuff.. then get into whats going on in my life. I'm jus a 17 y/o girl trying to get thru life without any troubles or anything. But, as always... you cant have what you want. I have had so many guy problems in my life.. i have been thru a lot.. and i jus want evrything to work out for a change. however, i feel thats never going to happen. I have at least two online diaries already... but my memory is so bad that i forget where they are, so i never update them, this one however, i plan to keep updating. I need somewhere to write all my thought and feelings down.. i think i can finally do that.

Right now, im sitting here in my pj's hoping my problems will work themselves out. not likely. life does suck.. my motto has always been "life sucks, then you die"... personally i think its very appropriate.. but a lot of people tend to disagree. I always seem to be depressed about one thing or another, and im pretty sure people get tired of hearing me complain about the latest peoblem in my life... (i know gabe has finally decided to stop listening to my daniel probs) he has always been there for me and has always offered advice, even tho i never took it.. i did listen to him.. but i guess he got tired of that. to be honest.. i feel lost without having someone like him to talk to... we used to talk all the time about anything and evrything, it was great.. but now we're barely ever online at the same time, and when we are, it seems like we have nothing to talk about. i dont kno why, but i want things to go back to how they used to be. well.. hey.. maybe its me.. maybe i jus dont get on well with people. i dont know. i always have problems and i hate that. i wish my life was simple and i wish people would let me do things my way. i appreciate all the advice evryone has given me (including you gabe). i guess im jus tryin to say thanks.. and im sorry that i keep going on about evrything.

anyways... i think im jus guna go take a shower now.. im depressed... i jus got another problem and its very depressing... i'll write more later... mayb... i dunno... laters. love EllieBear