Soo Meester computer, throw it at me.
Load up that drive with a few strangers
and catapault them into my world
Whirlwind them through my mind and watch
Me stumble and wobble, topple and fall
Bleary eyed into that big ol' well You like
Playing with so damn much
Throw a penny in that well and make a dream
come true, But all the while its not a penny
it's a chocolate coin Left down there...
for the rats
Down and Down into that drippy well
The Bricks are smiling at me with their happy
indifference,
You know, Meester Computer, There's more
than one of them

Prayer




spiritual cure ^

Okay, so there i was sat down on my bed reading, and i gets up and goes to the bathroom to brush my hair and i realise my FACE is strange when slack! :o when i have no expression it looks all wobbly and my nose is too big for my lips and things! :o So there i am getting all paranoid so i tense my muscles behind my ears like i do when im talking to someone or someones looking at me and its completely different, seriously, so i asked rach and ste wether i looked like me on my photo's and things and they said i do and im stupid....Giddy ranterising about silly things really, but i was completely wierded out last night by THE most unimportant thing. And if youre reading this and thinking "thats one shilly person" then its okay because you shouldnt be reading mydiary anyway.....you sad sad persons you.


School pictures on friday >_<That means one of the whole school, one singular one of me (which i will be tensing the ears on and pouting, just to be different from the wide toothy grin everyone else will have, i may seduce the photographer actually, if he is worthy) AND friend photographs. It'll cost a bomb to get them though, so i may just take in my digicam, take a few dozen pictures of EVERYONE (hot teachers and pixie girl included) and copy them to disk then get them developed at boots fora few quid....Because i rule

Artist: Siouxie And The Banshees
Album: Peepshow
Title: Peek-a-boo


Creeping up the backstairs
Slinking into dark stalls
Shapeless and slumped in bathchairs
Furtive eyes peep out of holes
She has many guises
She'll do what you want her to
Playing dead and sweet submission
Cracks the whip deadpan on cue
Peek-a-boo peek-a-boo
Peek-a-boo peek-a-boo

Reeking like a pigsty
Peeling back and gagging free
Flaccid ego in your hand
Chokes on dry tears, can you understand?
She's jeering at the shadows
Sneering behind a smile
Lunge and thrust to pout and pucker
Into the face of the beguiled

Peek-a-boo peek-a-boo
Golly jeepers
Where'd you get those peepers?
Peepshow, creepshow
Where did you get those eyes?

Strobe lights pump and flicker
Dry lips crack out for more
`come bite on this rag doll, baby!
That's right, now hit the floor'
They're sneaking out the back door
She gets up from all fours
Rhinestone fools and silver dollars
Curdle into bitter tears

Peek-a-boo peek-a-boo
Golly jeepers
Where'd you get those peepers?
Peepshow, creepshow
Where did you get those eyes?

yeah, jennie and nick together, she was at her house. he stripped her, threw her in the shower to sobre her up. after she was sobre, they tried to have sex. they couldnt even do that, stupid bastards. She only fucking tried to do it to prove she could i bet, but she couldnt, haha. what a bitch. anyway, so, yeah

hi there stranger, dont you fall
into the colours, were your call
cannot be heard from far above
your depth, your choise, your love
no inbetween, no ponders shared
your weakness blaring, broken, bared
your inner mind, your inner peace
shaking, longing for quick release

within the confines of your heart
your identity ripped apart
and all to have but one other
lose your freinds but find a lover
cherished moments lost in mist
but im in love, you all insist

empty complaints, just shut up...

lay little chickadee sitting on the ground,
sit in the dark and dont make a sound
sob to your peers about trouble and woes
cry about your highs and rejoice in your lows
yearn for things you cant have, hate all that i give
complain about the world and how you dont deserve to live
dont have the courage to stand on your own
complain about the problems that you yourself have sewn
talk until my ears bleed and make my lips quiver,
make my soul colder and my fingertips shiver
ignore the knife of truth that i stab into your heart
i hope this is a lesson, i hope this is a start
make me understand why your life is so wrong
make me weep for you, to yearn and long
the answers in your own mind, inside your head
stop talking at me, convince yourself instead

HAVE YOU EVER
1) Dated one of your best friends: nope
2) Loved/Liked: yes
3) Cried: yes
4) Drank alcohol: yes
5) Done drugs: nopety
6) Broken the law: not that i can remember :D
7) Broken a bone: no >_< *touches wood*
8) Cheated on a test: nah
9) Skinny dipped: not yet...
10) Played Truth or Dare: yesh
11Ridden in a fire truck: noh but i sat in one for an hour :D
12) Come close to dying: everyday brings us closer to it ^_^
13) burned yourself: yesh, on the iro, on my knuckle, its still there, called him hank...
14) Given someone a piggy back/shoulder ride: haha, yep, my boyfriend got one last week, he lighgter than i expected
15) Eaten a worm/mud pie: :S nop
16) Stayed up till four on the phone: i cant remember
17) Tipped over a port-a-potty: haha, maybe one day
18)Fell asleep while eating: pizza in bed...
19) Met someone famous: my bst friends are famous, they rule
20) Been in a school play: mary in the christmas play 3 years uin a row.....i rule....
21) Cried in public: sadly, but for good reason
22) Seen someone die: no, thankfully
23) been in a fist fight: my sisters never really use fists ^_^
24) given someone a bruise: yes
25) gotten a bruise: yeha
26) knocked somone out: nope
27) been knocked out: when i was three, damn dodgem car thingys
28) flipped any vehicles: o.0
29) cut someone: i dont think soo
30) been cut: yeha
31) burnt any buildings down: haha, one day...
32) sex in public: nope
33) mooned someone: i have my plans to...
34) acted kidnapped in a car: noh
35) flashed someone: no, but my ex flashed me in the cinema! what fun, it wasnt even in the dark bit, we were sat in the part were you get your tickets
36) kissed an ass: nope
37) blew something up: a balloooon
38) caught your yard on fire: no
39) threw a firecracker at someone: nope
40) been in any wars: no
41) stayed up all night: yesh
42) slept all day: once
43) watched the sunrise: yes
44) rode a motorcycle: noh
45) driven a car: noooh
46) wrecked a car: nuppers
47) gotten a tity twister: ouch, often
48) given a tity twister: in retaliation
49) posed for a nude pic: never
50) been suspended: nope
51) been expelled: nopety
52) been arrested: nah
53) been in jail: nah

im so sick of angsty pre-teen fuckers pretending like they have problems to worry about because there "mom doesnt understand" or because there best friend is prettier than them or because they just "wanna die and bleed out their problems". what the fuck do they know about problems? i havent got any of real importance and neither have they, they dont know what it is to deal with real shit, the kind that would push them way over the edge if they actually knew what it felt like to be called a "bulemic headcase crackwhore" by their best friend like jennie was by mair, or to lose their best friend to a blood clot in the lung like mo did, or to put up with the crap he has to struggle through each day and still find the energy to be a great loving person, and try not to dwell on these things just for damn attention. i have got a wonderful family and so many poeple i would trust with my life, most of the kids who want to be emotionally retarded band of "emos" or "goths" or whatever they want to call themselves are just rejecting all this love and care to fit into a group of people who are so goddamn egoscentric they dont give a shit about eachother in the end.

enough of the love life now, i need some music, if anyone wants to lend me an archenemy album or anything then feel free to throw it in the vaque direction of North west england, heehee, you never know, with luck it will land in the river mersey and while im drowning myself i can find it and say "yey!" and then eat some bacon....because we ALL like bacon.....

really guys i dont know what to do, there are 5 guys that like me this week and ive waired 4 months for just one. and none of them are the one i want goddamnit >_< not only that BUT i want tostay single, the one i want lives somewere else and so does curtis, JK lives in the town nextdoor to mine, ant lives in my town but hes a prick yet also hideously sexy it should be illegal, anywho my sisters rooting through my bag for a body spray my sister told her i had, lying bitch. what was i saying? oh yes, well, mo is really great too but he doesnt like me that way, although he did say yesterday he loved me i didnt want to take it as more than a friend incase he thought i was getting all smitten and thingies...hmmm, maybe i will not rant about this. but yes, and theres someone else too, butthat would never work out til im older, hes the one id like to be with most though, he seems great