Hmm... to change the house again... or not to change the house again... THAT is the question......
HEY!!! YO! What the hell?!
Sorry. You needed to yell at your body for a minute.
Why?
You would love to know why you're losing so much sleep, is why. Tuesday night, you didn't get to sleep till almost 2:30 (or somewhere around there, you can't really remember). Wednesday night, you didn't sleep at all. Last night, you went to bed and were IN bed at 12:00. You didn't fall asleep for the first time until 3:00 AM. Then you woke up every half hour after that.
3:30
...
4:00
...
4:30
...
5:00
...
5:30
...
6:00
...
6:30
...
When 7:00 finally rolled around, mom woke you up. She asked if you wanted to go with them this morning. You said yes because otherwise you'd never make it to school. You've been going on very little sleep since 7:00 this morn...
So, to say the very least...
Garr... Jake gets to go to a Velver Revolver/Hooba
*Sniff*
Not only will I miss him, but he gets to go to an awesome concert (this is starting to sound familiar... *cough*KORNCON
I am: so lucky to be alive, and what's more, to have my darling Jake in my life.
I want: to be in the arms of my love.
I have: the most wonderful time when I'm with him.
I wish: others could know what it feels like to feel so loved... to feel so happy.
I hate: hurting anyone, namely Jake. If (or when) I do, it hurts unbearably.
I miss: being able to hold and be held by Jake.
I fear: being alone and hated.
I hear: his voice, and all is right again.
I search: for a way to be with Jake again.
I wonder: if I really deserve all I have, including Jake.
I regret: being insecure. I don't want it to be Jake's responsibilty to make me feel better about myself.
I love: my teddy bear, Jacob Navarro. Eventually, I will marry him, and all will be right. ^^
I always: think about him (and who says that's a bad thing? ^_^).
I am not: unhappy with my life, or my relatoinship. Not in the very least.
I cry: whenever I have to watch him leave, but I know in my heart it won't be the last time I see him at all.\
I love you, Jake. ^^
It would seem that today, I have an uncanny knack for annoying people. Let's list them, shall we?
1. Aryel: On the bus this morning.
My very presence annoys her, and when I try to talk, it doesn't get any better.
2. Sarah: This morning.
I smacked her upside the head for mixing up my gender. Which actually made her cry. >.<
3. Joe: Same time.
I was walking to class and he slipped. I couldn't sustain my laughter. He glared at me and told me to shut up and walked off.
4. Amanda (from class): 1st period.
I was loud and obnoxious (in comparison to her previous table partners).
5. Jake: 3rd period (5 minutes ago).
Corrected him on a typo, in what I thought was a joking manner. Apparently I was wrong.
Hmm... 5 people in a time span of 5 hours. Wow, I'm on a roll. Let's see how many more I can annoy before the end of the day! *Rolls eyes* Oy, vay...
Yup, you guessed it.. Another one.
LAYER ONE:
-- Name: Deidre Jones
-- Nickname(s): Deidwa, Deids, Ducky, Deeder (garr, Lani... >.<), Dee Dee, D-Chan (from [Akiame]), Hiro (from my friend Tomo (a.k.a. Alysha)) and some that only Jakey can call me. ^^
-- Birth date: August 29th, 1989
-- Birthplace: Medford, Oregon
-- Current location: Eugene, Oregon
-- Eye color: A pwettymous and sexyful blue
-- Hair color: Brown with blonde streaks/highli
-- Height: 5'3" *Cries* I'm so damned short...
-- Righty or lefty: I wish I were ambidextrous, but I'm right handed (unless I play tennis, then it doesn't matter, but I haven't played in forever)
LAYER TWO
-- Your heritage: Cherokee Indian/Irish/A
-- Your weakness: Having an insatiable need to help others and putting them before myself
-- Your fears: Being alone, being hated
-- Your perfect pizza: Pepperoni and olive with extra cheese... *drools*
-- Goal you'd like to achieve: Hmm... the only thing I can think of right now that I'd like to do in life is to be a mother... A good mother.
LAYER THREE
-- Your most overused phrase: Oh, shut up./What the hell?!
-- Your thoughts first waking up: Sooo damn tired...
-- Your best physical feature: Hmm.. I think either my eyes or just the shape of my figure in general. I might be big, but at least I'm proportional, damn it.
-- Your bedtime: Weekdays, 11:45, weekends, whenever the hell I want. ^^
-- Your most missed memory: I don't really know... I miss some of my friends and my boyfriend (of course), but I dunno about "memories"... *Shrugs*
LAYER FOUR
-- Soda: Cherry Coke
-- Fast food joint: Hmm... I miss In-N-Out Burgers. We don't have those here, but I miss them SO much! *Cries*
-- Single or group dates: Hmm.. I dunno... *grumbles* I've never actually had the chance to be on a date before... >.<
-- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Lipton Iced Tea (but then, that could just be because that's all my mom ever bought)
-- Chocolate or vanilla: *Squeals* CHOCOLAAAAAAAA
-- Cappuccino or coffee: Hmm.. Coffee for me. ^^ Not black though, blech..
LAYER FIVE
-- Smoke: Eww... Did once (experimental thing), never will again. c(< ) Bleh.
-- Cuss: Yerr... guilty.
-- Sing: Hehe, mainly in the shower. :P
-- Take a shower every day: No, I'll admit it. I'm a dirty girl sometimes... *Laughs*
-- Have a crush(es): Yeah, but don't tell Jakey I have a crush on him! It's a secret! ^^
-- Do you think you've been in love: Bwah?! That's a stupid question, of course I am!
-- Want to go to college: Yup, then after college, I can marry my Jakey. *Happy sigh*
-- Like high school: Ehh.. meh.
-- Want to get married: Uhh... didn't I just say that? :P In any case, yes, I do.
-- Believe in yourself: *Smiles and nods*
-- Get motion sickness: I can get nauseous sometimes, but I've never gotten sick.
-- Think you're attractive: Ha! What a silly thing to ask! Haven't you seen me? I'm the queen of sexyness, and if you're gonna' bow to me, get in line! ^_~
-- Think you're a health freak: Bahahahahaha! That's funny! Not in the least.
-- Get along with your parents: Err... yeah, kinda' sorta.
-- Like thunderstorms: Like? No. Love.
-- Play an instrument: I wish.
LAYER SIX
In the past month...
-- Drank alcohol: Yeah, tonight I tried a little bit of a margarita. >.< Bleh.
-- Smoked: Nope.
-- Done a drug: Agh! Gods, no!
-- Had sex: Nope, still a virgin.
-- Made out: Maybe, maybe not. :P
-- Gone on a date: Mer... No...
-- Gone to the mall: I don't think I have... But then, you can't trust my memory.
-- Eaten an entire box of Oreos: I don't think I've ever eaten a whole box of Oreo's.
-- Eaten sushi: Never tried it... not too big a fan of raw fish.
-- Been on stage: Egad, no. >.<
-- Gone skating: Nope, lazy and no skates.
-- Made homemade cookies: Nope, but it would be pretty cool if I could.
--Gone skinny-dipping
-- Dyed your hair: No... I cut it though (or rather, my grandma did.... >.<)
-- Stolen anything: Not that I know of, unless I'm a sleepwalking kleptomaniac.
LAYER SEVEN
Ever...
-- Played a game that required removal of clothing: *Blush* No, but it'd be fun if played with the right person... *cough*Jakey*c
-- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: I might've, I dunno.
-- Been caught doing something: Yeah... :P
-- Been called a tease: Hmm.. I don't think I have. I could be wrong though.
-- Gotten beaten up: Mer... we won't go there.
-- Shoplifted: Ehehe... uh... no? *Spotlights surround me* What?! No! 7Eleven will never catch me alvive!
-- Changed who you were to fit in: Mer... Guilty...
LAYER EIGHT
-- Age you hope to be married: Hopefully around 22 or 23 (that's about the age I should be getting out of college).
-- Numbers and names of children: One boy and one girl, but we haven't thought up names yet.
-- Describe your dream wedding: Oh, gosh, I dunno... As long as I'm marrying Jake, it doesn't matter. ^^
-- How do you want to die: In my sleep, naturally. I don't want to suffer.
-- Where do you want to go to college: Just about whereever that'll accept me.
-- What do you want to be when you grow up: I don't know. Possibly a writer, maybe a child psychologist..
-- What country would you most like to visit: Either Germany or Egypt.
LAYER NINE
In a guy/girl...
-- Best eye color: Green
-- Best hair color: Brown
-- Short or long hair: Long. ^^ I looooooooooove long hair on a man, more accurately, MY man. ^_~
-- Height: Taller than me (by how much, I dun care, just as long as Jake never grows to be, like, 10 feet tall).
-- Best weight: Who cares?
-- Best articles of clothing: Hmm... whatever brings out his eyes. ^^ I love his eyes...
-- Best first date location: Anywhere and everywhere, as long as they're there.
-- Best first kiss location: Again, anywhere and everywhere.
LAYER TEN
-- Number of drugs taken illegally: Zero!!! ^^ *is proud of self*
-- Number of people I could trust with my life: At least two.
-- Number of CDs that I own: Too many (but not nearly as many as Jake)
-- Number of piercing: None (my ear piercings healed up >.< Garr..)
-- Number of tattoos: *Whines* Zero...
-- Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: School or city newspaper?
-- Number of scars on my body: Hmm.. good question. I dunno, I did a lot of stupid shi- stuff that got me scars. I.E., sticking my hand in a fan that was set on "High" when I was 5.
-- Number of things in my past that I regret: Lots of things, too many to count. But that isn't a bad thing, because, in my opinion, if you live without regret, you never really experience things.
Bored... more of those lame-o list thingies.
What are you listening to?: The Used, "In Love and Death"
What are you watching?: Erm.. the monitor?
What time is it?: 5:15 PM, PT
What are you wearing?: Black tank top, blue jeans, white bra, underwear (you don't need to picture that :P) and no socks or shoes. Barefoot, bwaha!
Wanna cyber?: Ohh, yeha.. ohh, mmmm, babby, ohh, I whant u 2.... Get the fuck away from me, you sick perverted pedophile.
Hey baby, nice shoes...: Yeah? Well, your crotch can meet them if you really wanna push it.
What're you drinking?: Nothing at the present time.
Eating?: Spree candy. ^^ >.O Sour...
Got both hands on the keyboard?: Yeah, and that's where they'll stay.
You sure bout that?: You sick bastard, you really want to lose vital organs, don't you?
Who are you talkin’ to?: Not really talking to anyone, but I am singing.
What other windows do you have open? None. Simply Elftown, for it has consumed my home life. >.<
How bored are you?: Very. Care to be a victim of torture for the cure?
If you could be anywhere, where would you be?: Hmm... Probably anywhere that Jake was. ^^
Who would you be with?: Uhm, did I not just say Jake?
What would you be doing?: Oh.. nothing...ille
*Sigh* I've seen better days...
Bliss
By: [Raziel Ahnara]
I love spending hours alone
Just knowing you're here to please, and be my man
Hearing your breath escape your lips
It's all total bliss
Whether it's on the computer, on the phone
You bring a smile like no one else can
All my worries rush away at the lightest brush of your fingertips
It's all total bliss
Thoughts of you bring me to the brink
You fulfill my desires with a simple smile
Heaven is revealed in only one of your kisses
It's all total bliss
Such euphoria, I can't even think
You've only been holding me a little while
Help me discover what I've been missin'
It'll never get better than this
4/2/05