[Raziel Ahnara]'s diary
I was very bored. e.e Lemme alone.
[ What would you do if... ]:
1. I committed suicide?:
2. I said I liked you?:
3. I kissed you?:
4. I lived next door to you?:
5. I started smoking?:
6. I stole something?:
7. I was hospitalized?:
8. I ran away from home?:
9. I got into a fight and you weren't there?:
[ What do you think of my... ]:
1. ...personality
2. ...eyes?:
3. ...face?:
4. ...hair?:
5. ...clothes?:
6. ...mannerisms?
[ General Stuff ]:
1. Who are you?:
2. Are we friends?:
3. When and how did we meet?:
4. How have I affected you?:
5. What do you think of me?:
6. What's the fondest memory you have of me?:
7. How long do you think we will be friends or enemies?:
8. Do you love me?:
9. Have I ever hurt you?:
10. Would you hug me?:
11. Would you kiss me?:
12. Would you make love to me?:
13. Would you marry me?:
14. Emotionally, what stands out?:
15. Do you wish I was cooler?:
16. On a scale of 1-10, how nice am I?:
17. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.:
18. Am I loveable?:
19. How long have you known me?:
20. Describe me in one word.:
21. What was your first impression?:
22. Do you still think that way about me now?:
23. What do you think my weakness is?:
24. Do you think I'll get married?:
25. What about me makes you happy?:
26. What about me makes you sad?:
27. What reminds you of me?:
28. What's something you would change about me?:
29. How well do you know me?:
30. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?:
31. Do you think I would kill someone?:
32. Are we close?:
33 Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you?:
I would like to make a very important announcement.
Thank you for your time.
'Nuff said.
Just stop it.
You [ are ] worth it.
I'm not afraid of [ falling ].
I'm terrified of how I'll feel when I hit the [ ground ].
Da' Ya' Think I'm Sexy?
[ Rod Stewart ]
Sugar, sugar
She sits alone waiting for suggestions
He's so nervous avoiding all the questions
His lips are dry, her heart is gently pounding
Don't you just know exactly what they're thinking
If you want my body and you think I'm sexy,
Come on sugar, let me know.
If you really need me, just reach out and touch me,
Come on honey tell me so.
(Tell me so baby)
He's acting shy, looking for an answer.
"Come on honey let's spend the night together."
"Now hold on a minute before we go much further.
Give me a dime so I can phone my mother."
They catch a cab to his high rise apartment.
At last he can tell her exactly what his heart meant.
If you want my body and you think I'm sexy,
Come on honey, tell me so.
If you really need me, just reach out and touch me.
Come on sugar, let me know.
His heart's beating like a drum
'Cos at last he's got this girl home.
"Relax baby now we are alone."
They wake at dawn 'cos all the birds are singing.
Two total strangers, but that ain't what they're thinking.
Outside it's cold, misty and it's raining.
They got each other, neither one's complaining.
He say's, "I'm sorry but I'm out of milk and coffee."
"Never mind sugar, we can watch the early movie."
If you want my body and you think I'm sexy,
Come on sugar, let me know."
If you really need me, just reach out and touch me,
Come on honey, tell me so.
If you really need me, just reach out and touch me,
Come on sugar, let me know.
If you really, really, really, really need me.
Just let me know.
Just reach out and touch me.
If you really want me,
Just reach out and touch me,
Come on sugar, let me know.
If you really need me, just reach out and touch me,
Come on sugar, let me know.
If you, if you, if you really need me,
Just come on and tell me so.
Sex and Candy
[ Marcy Playground ]
Hanging' 'round
Downtown by myself.
And I had so much time
To sit and think about myself
And then there she was,
Like Devil cherry pie.
Yeah, there she was,
Like disco superfly.
I smell sex and candy.
Yeah,
Who's that loungin'
In my chair?
Who's that castin'
Devious stares in my direction?
Mama, this surely is a dream, yeah.
Yeah, mama this surely is a dream.
Hangin' 'round
Downtown by myself.
And I had too much caffeine,
And I was think about myself.
And then there she was,
In platform Devil suede.
Yeah, there she was,
Like disco lemonade.
I smell sex and candy.
Yeah,
Who's that loungin'
In my chair?
Who's that castin'
Devious stares in my direction?
Mama, this surely is a dream, yeah.
Yeah, mama this surely is a dream.
I smell sex and candy.
Yeah,
Who's that loungin'
In my chair?
Who's that castin'
Devious stares in my direction?
Mama, this surely is a dream, yeah.
Yeah, mama this surely is a dream.
Yeah, mama this surely is a dream.
Yeah, mama this must be my dream.
Dug up some "[ poetry ]". Or what I hope will pass for it, anyway.
I wish I could just say what I'm feeling.
I wish I could simply tell you what I'm thinking.
I wish I could stop being so stubborn.
I wish a lot of things.
I wish I could make you as happy as you deserve to be.
I wish I could show you the person I see.
I wish I could do what you ask of me.
I wish a lot of things.
I wish I could take off this mask I cower behind.
I wish I could open up and tell the truth just this one time.
I wish I could show you the real me I hide.
I wish a lot of things.
Shooting stars and genies never get you what you really want.
"Shooting Stars and Genies" © Deidre C. Jones, 10/31/05
Written about Tuesday 2005-11-22
Written: (6940 days ago)
I have no idea what to get anyone for Christmas, and it looks like I have a lot of presents to buy this year.
It certainly doesn't help that I'm broke, with really no way of getting any money in time (unless, for some odd reason, I just take up prostitution, but that's not bloody likely since 1, I have a boyfriend, 2, I have morals, and 3, I have common sense).
...
[ Shit ].
Any ideas?
You are a Belly Dancer. You are charming inside out; your life follows an interesting rhythm, beautiful and smooth; you know how to be the center of attention when you want to; you love your friends, and you can trust them with your life. Your ideal man is the one with a sweet, witty character who understands how much freedom is important to you.
It's odd how true that is.
*shifty eyes* I didn't do that... *kicks away can of spray paint*
Black hole sun, won't you come and wash away the rain?
Black hole sun, won't you come, won't you come?
Written about Tuesday 2005-11-08
Written: (6955 days ago)
Something is up with you. You were just overcome by this powerful urge to call and attempt to talk to Alex (from California).
Maybe it isn't so strange. He was your best friend for two years straight.
You really want to talk to him. See how he's doing. Talk about whatever.
It's all this stupid song's fault. Stupid Richard Marx and his stupid "Right Here Waiting", and that stupid night you and Alex sang karaoke...
It's all so [ fucking ] stupid.
Time to calm your nerves. A bath sounds good...
Written about Monday 2005-11-07
Written: (6956 days ago)
If I was a bad habit I'd be: Hypocrisy Hypocrites make the world go crazy.
If I was a swear word i'd be: Damnit Why not? That's the one I say the most. :P
If I was an ice cream flavor I'd be: Dulce de Leche Smooth and sweet. ^_~
If I was a disease I'd be: Diabetes I'm such a sugar freak. ^^;
If I was a feeling I'd be: Confusion I'm always asking, "Huh?"
If I was a color I'd be: Purple Somewhere between pink (girly) and blue (tomboy...ish). ^^;
If I was a currency I'd be: $2 bill Because I'm just that special. :P Not really... e.e
If I were a day of the week, I'd be: Wednesday Not the best, but decent. That's how I'm most often described.
If I were a time of day, I'd be: Dusk There's an indescribable beauty in the twilight.
If I were a kind of weather, I'd be: Overcast, light rain Soft, simple, but just enough to annoy the hell out of every woman who just did her hair.
If I were a sin, I'd be: Envy I'm always wishing for something, when I should be grateful for what I have.
If I were a liquid, I'd be: Egg Nog Hey, it's smooth, creamy, and the same color as my skin. e.e I need a tan.
If I were a flower/plant, I'd be: Water Lily As enchanting and beautiful as its surroundings. 'Course... that could be a bad thing, for me. :P
If I were a musical instrument, I'd be: Cello Large, deep, and a beautiful voice. It all describes me... save for the beautiful voice, anyway. ^^;
If I were an animal, I'd be: Cat, Balinese (Related to the Siamese) Adorable, loveable, not nearly as noisy, and oh-so-snuggly. The blue eyes help, too. ^^
If I were a sound, I'd be: Laughter I'd like to think I'm funny.
If I were an element, I'd be: Water Calm and soothing, until you piss me off.
If I were a song, I'd be: "Mad Season" - Matchbox 20, or "Creep" - Radiohead Both those songs describe me almost too well.
If I were a material, I'd be: Satin Do you see a pattern here with the smoothness? :P
If I were a word, I'd be: Emotion Simply because I have so much of it.
If I were a body part, I'd be: Eyes You can find more answers in one's eyes than you can if they told you their life story.
If I were a facial expression, I'd be: A smirk A look for everyone to appreciate. :P
If I were a shape, I'd be a: Circle I'm in shape. Round is a shape. :P
If I were a number, I'd be: 5 For some reason, I like numbers that are multiples of five... o.O
Bah. It's 6:00 and I'm already getting tired. e.e
Things I Desperately Need (Currently):
- More Midol (Damned monthly... e.e)
- Either a NoDoze or a Yellow Jacket (If you can't get caffeine from a soda, you can get it from pills.)
- A break (Sometimes, I hate Talisman... e.e)
...
- A hug. (Mneh. Speaks for itself. e.e)
More to come.
[ 50-Question Survey ]
The typical part:
What is your favorite…: (If you had to choose just ONE for each answer.)
1. Color?: Blue (I know, how original. :P ^^;;)
2. Food?: Caramel (Caramel and chocolate and whipped cream… ^^ Nummy stickiness! ^__^)
3. Movie?: The Rocky Horror Picture Show (All in the spirit of Halloween. Plus, Tim Curry’s hot in drag. :P)
4. Song?:The new song Jakey created. (A work of musical genius. *Nod* Yep.)
5. Band?: Aerosmith (Duh. You couldn’t guess that? Frickin’ no-brainer… Why?! What do you mean, “why”?! Because they’re [ GODS ]. That is why.)
6. Actor?: Mel Gibson (I should be related to Mel Gibson and all the members of Aerosmith. They would make the best uncles. ^^)
7. TV Show?: Whose Line is it Anyway? (Okay, okay… We need to have Colin Mochrie and Ryan Stiles as friends of the family, too. ^^ )
8. Animal?: Kitties! (Purr, purr. =^.^=)
9. Author?: Eoin Colfer (For the time being, at least. ^^)
10. Book?: The Artemis Fowl series (By, can you guess? … *fanfare* Eoin Colfer! Hehe. ^^)
The Reversal:
What is your most hated…: (Again, choose one.)
1. Color?: Green (There are so many shades of it that look so… gross. Several of which can remind you of vomit and snot. >.<)
2. Food?: Mushrooms (Yes, tomatoes are gross when eaten raw, and true, zucchini isn’t all that great either, but nothing tastes or feels as bad as mushrooms. My dad force-fed me one once. I immediately spit it out. Unfortunately, my stomach saw that as a good opportunity to get rid of the rest of the dinner I’d eaten thus far as well. )
3. Movie?: Battlefield Earth (I love John Travolta, but honestly, what in hell was he thinking? )
4. Song?: Livin’ La Vida Loca (*Shudders even at the mention of the name*)
5. Band?: Ricky Martin (*Shudders again* Actually, technically, just about anything similar to him, Brittany Spears, and anything that might be remotely akin to rap. >.<)
6. Actor?: Fran Drescher (Someone shoot her. Please. Now. *twitch*)
7. TV Show?: Spongebob Squarepants (I should sue the creators for lowering my IQ.)
8. Animal?: Spider (I know it’s really overdone, but it’s the grossest damned creature I can think of. That and mosquitoes. )
9. Author?: Anne Rice (I understand she’s intelligent, but I can’t for the life of me understand even a sentence in any of the books she’s written because her sentences trail on (much like this one) and eventually get off track but still manage to use large and pompously-inte
10. Book?: Anything Anne Rice has written. (My reasons are stated above… obviously. e.e)
The Less Typical:
Choose which one you like better.
1. Macabre / Romance = Romance (I always thought sex and relationships were better than satirical deaths.)
2. Violence / Fluff = Violence (Violence! It’s what makes movies! :P ^^)
3. Angel / Demon = Angel (I can’t imagine one would rather trust their lives in the arms of a demon, wouldn’t you say?)
4. Excitement / Comfort = Comfort (Right now, comfort means cuddling. And cuddling is good. ^^)
5. Land / Sea = Land (I love to swim, but I think most women will agree with me when I say I dun like sand up my crotch. >.<)
6. Too Cold / Too Hot = Too cold (If it’s too hot, there’s only so much you can take off. Once you’re nekkid you’re still hot. What’re you gonna’ do then? Peel off skin? e.e)
7. Dragon / Unicorn = Dragon (Unicorns are beautiful, but nothing beats a dragon when it comes to fantasy. ‘Cept maybe a Jakeybear. ^^)
8. Fantasy / Sci-Fi = Fantasy (I personally prefer wands to lightsabers.)
9. Magical Powers / Societal Powers = Magical Powers (Oh, come on. Who doesn’t want to be able to fly without polluting?)
10. Sleeping / Eating = Eating (It’s easier to eat sometimes than to sleep. Plus I think one can go longer without sleep than they can without food. o.O)
The Unique:
1. If you could choose your death, how would you die?: Naturally. (Really now, why die in a blaze of glory when it can be peaceful. But it doesn’t matter. I dun plan on dying for a VERY long time. ^__^)
2. If you could meet any one person in history, who would it be?: Hmm… Probably Chris Farley. (I’d tell him to stay off drugs, and then tell him how awesome I thought he was. ^^ “Oh my freaking gord!”)
3. If you could have one supernatural power, what would it be?: I’d have the power to make anyone happy just by giving them a hug. (Then, I’d go all around the world and hug everybody, then no one would be sad or angry. *Nod* Yep. It’d be a good life. ^^)
4.People often say "I'd sell my soul for..." rather flippantly. Is there anything you would sell your soul for? (If so, what?): No. (The most evil thing someone could ever do is sell their soul.)
5. If you could learn the truth of one unsolved mystery of the world, what would it be?: Why most people are so ignorant and closed-minded. (It must take work being so annoying.)
6. If you could do one good deed for the world, regardless of cost, monetary or otherwise, what would you do?: Put all the stupid people on Mars and let them deal with whatever other life forces there may be. (Then everyone would REALLY be happy. :P)
7. If you could choose between giving yourself and your family everything you ever wanted and giving a whole country everything they needed to survive, what would you do?: My family. (I’m sorry. My heart goes out to those starving and homeless people in deprived countries, but when it comes right down to it, my family matters more than people I don’t know.)
8. If you could pick one artist and steal their talent, who would it be?: Jake Navarro. (Awesome artist, writer, and photo-shop expert. Who wouldn’t want his powe- er.. I mean… talent? :P Love you, babe! ^^)
9. If you could make a movie, what would it be about?: The story of my relationship with Jake and everything we’ve been through. (Because our relationship matters so much more than anyone else’s. :P ^^)
10. If you could be one of your characters, which one would you be, why, and what would you do with your life as a result?: I have no idea. (I dun really have any characters I’d wanna be, simply because most of them all have a really crappy past. :P ^^;)
Finally, the random:
1. What animal would you like to have as your familiar?: Either a cat or a snake. (I say cat because I love cats intensely. ^^ I say snake because that’s my Chinese zodiac sign, and apparently, that’s the animal I’d be best suited to have as a pet. o.O ^^)
2. What's your favorite amphibious creature?: A newt, I suppose. (I’ve never really thought about it before. )
3. What are you most bitter about in your past?: My friends completely forgetting about me after I moved away when they promised me they wouldn’t. (Yes, trying to deal with my parent’s divorce was difficult, but there’s no feeling like calling up your supposed best friend only to hear, “I think you have the wrong number. I don’t know who you are.”)
4. What is your favorite holiday and why do you like it?: Christmas (I love spending time with my family and making cookies for “Santa” (my sis still believes in him, so we go all out ^^), decorating a tree, and opening presents, of course. :P)
5. If you could be a character in a movie or video game, who would you be?: I would be Crysta from FernGully. (Seriously! Who wouldn’t want to be friends with a bat voiced by Robin Williams?! ^____^)
6. If you could have any job in the world, you would be a(n)...?: Author (I love writing, and I love to see people’s reaction to what I’d written.)
7. If you could influence one major decision that is in limbo in government for the future, what would you do?: Somehow get rid of all debt. (Sounds good to have more money, doesn’t it?)
8. If you had to live your life as an intelligent inanimate object, what would you like to be?: Don’t know. (How can something be intelligent if it’s inanimate?)
9. If you were the only gay eskimo in your tribe, would you try to turn another eskimo gay, or try to turn straight?: Try to turn straight. (Because unfortunately, everyone else shuns the “different” one.)
10. Who is the one person who has influenced your life the most, what did they do, who were they, and why did they matter so much?: My mother. (Despite how often we fight, she’s always got the best advice (even if I don’t agree with it, it’s usually the best solution).)