Oh how I yearn to feel the comfort of the blade against my skin, to help me cope with the loss of you’re voice calling my name. Let the pain restore my sanity, my happiness, my reason for being, like you once did. I feel unwanted, by simply over thinking things, making things seem worse than what they really are or assuming negativity. How I wish I could know what’s going on in your head, where I stand, rather than feeling nothing, a nobody, a pathetic little insignificant speck in the canvas of your life. My mind tries to make me think that you think of me as much as I think of you, however, my other half pulls me down, telling me how pathetic I am for even thinking that I mean something to you, making me realize the reasons why you would forget me, why I would be nothing to you, why you would see me as the pathetic little being who hides deep inside of me. The pain helps me take control, subside all the thoughts to keep my sanity a hole, even if for just a short time.

Rise together the beasts of the shadows,
Fear you must swallow.
In the flock’s murder
Mended forever together.

As heaven descends,
The demons murder will rise,
And we hear their call.

In humanity’s brutal fall
Damnation and blasphemy leads
The path to reconciliation that feeds
The crows, which have flown to pay their dues

After weeks of attempting to understand the string theory, I came up with this...

What if all crazy people aren't really there and all it is, is sane people’s subconscious making them up, thus making sane people crazy. Then would that means that no one really exists?

This theory is also thanks to lack of sleep.

Fuck you all
Who thought I couldn’t make it
Fuck the world
You’d might as well embrace it
No one needs to know me
Stop pretending to care
Fuck my feelings
I no longer need them there
Everything in life is perfect
When you’re in your little bubble
Made from the lullabies of denial
As for me,
I live in what we call the real world
Where truth and disappointment
Lingers in the air
The confusion in myself
Never seems to fade away
It grows stronger with each day
And in proving myself wrong
I then grow a little stronger
My skin a little thicker
But my scars store the painful memories
That have been stitched in my mind

Me and a few of my friends wher doing some... i guess you could call it free style and this is what i came up with
My Sister

I had a sister
She was very, very small
And I had a brother
Who was very, very tall.

(Chorus)
Burn in hell you fucking jackass
You fucking sat on her
You killed my fucking sister
Don’t ever fucking come back
Or I’ll punch you so hard I’ll give you whiskers
You fucking ate my cat

I have a sister
She’s very, very small
And we killed our mother
Because she had big balls

(Chorus)

My brother came to visit
Just the other day
I shoved a pitch fork in his ass
And told him to get the fuck away

(Chorus)

I no longer have a family
I’m very, very sad
I butchered my own father
I’m very, very bad
But I don’t regret it
It was my revenge
For my little sister
Who is very, very mad

(Chorus 2x)

I should be dead,
Nailed down,
Resting my head
‘Cause I can’t hear a sound,
Spinning me round.
Crying out,
Filled with doubt,
I should be repressed
I’m in distress,
Pleading for life,
Waiting for death

No one can hear me,
Week and dreary,
What’s the use?
For there is only,
Pain and abuse
What can only be
A memory
That would be me
Our bodies are simply doors
To our broken souls

All of the misfortunes and doubt
What the fuck’s it all about?
Suicide and died
Kill
It’s now a thrill
Abuse
Has a use
Society has changed
Soon we’ll all be the same

I should be dead,
Nailed down,
Resting my head
‘Cause I can’t hear a sound,
Spinning me round.
Crying out,
Filled with doubt,
I should be repressed
I’m in distress,
Pleading for life,
Waiting for death

Love and hate
Life and death
When one begins
The other will end
Fate brings us here
To live in fear
Luck won’t save you now
Worlds crumble
Just like sand
Hearts are broken
When placed in my hand
My mind races
As they pass me by
I keep my cool
‘Cause they are not better then I
They can not steal my sanity
At least not for now

I should be dead,
Nailed down,
Resting my head
‘Cause I can’t hear a sound,
Spinning me round.
Crying out,
Filled with doubt,
I should be repressed
I’m in distress,
Pleading for life,
Waiting for death

When death is all you feel
What’s the use in being alive?
Trapped in a prison
Of thoughts that where broken
And dreams that have died
I want to forget
Forget all the screams
And the lies
Create the pain
Kill me in vain
Let the blood pour down
Suffocate and drown
In the sea of the dead
I’m losing my head

I should be dead,
Nailed down,
Resting my head
‘Cause I can’t hear a sound,
Spinning me round.
Crying out,
Filled with doubt,
I should be repressed
I’m in distress,
Pleading for life,
Waiting for death

My art is my life, and my only love and that will never change, unless I get my arms chopped or wroped off in some freek accadent or have to get them amputated, and with my luck, that doesnt sound too far fetched to me. I know that after I write this, there's going to be a million people tell me that I'm too negative or something of that genre, and will ask me what's wrong, but since I'm not one to like talking about my feelings, they will stay inside me, eating at me until they slowley but surley take my life, and I know I'm going to have a bunch people come to me and tell me that I don't have to let my problems do so and that they can relate but unless you've had the exact same things happened to you by pople that wher as close to you as they wher to me and if you cared about those people and knew them, or thought you knew them as well as you thought I did, you really can't relate, because every experience is diffrent, nothings ever the same for 2 people so if you think that you can come and preach to me and tell me that your life was the same, you had the same problems, just don't bother. My problems are my own I need to work them out on my own, I don't want to burden anyone with my problems when they have problems of their own. I'll do what I know how to do best. Now leave me in peace and let my problems and insecurety dig my grave

I don’t understand, I feel like everything around me is going to shit, everyone I care about seems to forget me or is mad at me, I'm afraid of my insecurity that is suffocating and will soon kill me, I can't think straight I'm worried all the time, I'm afraid of what's to come, I want to be numb, I no longer want to hurt, I'm sick of being scared and alone, I'm sick of being cornered by all my thoughts. I need some clarity, but I can't seem to find any, when I talk about it, I'm short of breath, in pain, I just want it to end...

No one would care
If I where to shed a tear
If I screamed out in pain
They wouldn’t even hear
I don’t want to be surrounded by lies
Each time they look into my eyes
They don’t see the pain,
They can never understand

I'm sitting here with a blade in my hand
Maybe I should...
No... Not maybe... I will...
No one cares anyways...

I miss being happy... no one talks to me... no one cares... why does everyone I care about make me disappear from they're life I feel separated, no alienated from everything... I'm ditched all the time... at least I still Have Jess and Jordan..... Through it all we where always there for each other (Jordan)... you where always there to cheer me up (Jess) Love you..... But even though I still have them I still sometimes... no most of the time alienated... I guess it’s just me... I seem to push everyone away...

I'm sick of life, sick of breathing, I hate having to wait for everyone but they never seem to come, my life is a drag, there’s never anything to look forward to or be happy about, i sit in my room or in the basement, searching through my past, remembering what friends where like, everyone’s always to busy to talk to me, either they're jobs witch is reasonable, or they're boyfriends who will end up hurting them or something like that, I hate watching everything I care about forget me, no one ever calls, no one ever even thinks of coming to se the one person who was always there for a helping hand.... I just want to forget it all...

this poem doesn't have a title and its not verry good in my opinion...

Back to the start
Where it all began
With one man
And his one true love
No tears,
No pain,
No secrets,
Just two hearts connected
Two souls bound
Two people that will not be separated,
Even by death

One day,
As they walked down the street
She was hit by a bullet in the chest
Puncturing her heart

Hold me close and never let me go
She wheezes
As the pavement is painted with blood
Dying in his arms
Tears stream down his face
With that one last eternal embrace
He kisses her and pulls out a ring
Will you be my bride?
With her last ounce of strength
She replies
Y...e...s
He places the ring on her lifeless finger
And kisses her cheek
Looking at her
And grabbing his pocket knife
I made a promise
And stabs his chest

Black and red
Stained and beaten
He will never let her go
They will be together
Statues forever
End
By: Rebecca St-Pierre

The note

If I may if I might
Stab myself with this knife
If I slit my wrist tonight,
And walk towards the light
Will you forget me,
Or will I be a cherished memory?
Will you hate me?
I hope you will forgive thee?
I love you
Surely true
I want you to know this
Sealed with a kiss
It was not your fault
You did not bring my life to a halt
Everyone else pushed me
Just look and see
The world is a cruel place
That will never again see my face
Farewell
I shall see you in hell
END
By: Rebecca

suaside

I clench my fist
And slit my wrist
Fading fast
How long will I last
My pauls gets weeker
As the blade goes deeper
The suaside note
That I wrote
Is on the floor

When you open the door
To a bloodey mess
So much stress
Mom and dad
Don't be sad
Can't you see?
It's only me!
END
By: Rebecca

Be quiet

Walking in the forest
Silent and dark
A shadow coming towards me
It seems to be the figure of a human
Turning around,
Something grabs me
The shadow is now a man
Pushing me to the ground
Screaming
He slaps me
"Be quiet or you will pay!"
Taping my arms together around the trunk of a tree
Screaming for help
His hands touching me
"HELP!" I yell as a tear rolls down my cheek
"SHUT UP!" as he runs his hand up my leg
Crying as I try and get my arms free
"STOP SQUERMING!" as he rubs my inner thigh
"HELP SOMEONE!" yelling at the top of my lungs
"ONE MORE OUTBURST LIKE THAT AND I WILL TAPE YOUR MOUTH SHUT!" his fingers now feeling my insides
"AHHHH" crying out
"THATS IT!" He yells out as he grabs the tape and taping my mouth shut
Laying there helpless
Penetrating me
The man gets up and walks away
Leaving me there to die

The next night
I see lights
Flashing in the distance
Then I hear my name being called out
"REBECCA, WHERE ARE YOU?!"
Trying to reply
Watching the lights get closer and closer
I keep thinking that it was but a dream
The light then flashes directly on me
Squinting
"WE FOUND HER!" I recognize that voice
Could it be?
My brother,
Along with my mother…
My father running over with the dog
My mother cutting me free
And ripping the tape off of my mouth
Leaping into her arms
"Get me out of here pleas!" voice quivering

Four years later
I have tried to kill myself a number of times
No one can mend my shattered soul
I wish they could understand
No doctor can help me now
I'm scared for life
My wounds are skin deep
No one can see them
Unless they manage to break the skin to see my soul

I have never told anyone this until now
The pain is real
Now can you see my soul?
Can I ever mend it?
I think not
I will forever be quiet

END
By: Rebecca Not-A-St-Pierre

Six feet under

They found me in the banged up car
my seatbelt was buckeled
but it would make no difference
cause they hit us from the passenger side

my head bashed into the window
glass stabbing my temple
they quickly got em into the ambulance
they tryed to revive me
but the line stayed flat

now i lay 6 feet under
while i lay here
dont cry for me
stand proud and remember
my accomplishment instead of my faults

all thought i'm dead
it still hurts
to see
my family and friends
suffer because of losing
selfish little me

End
by: Rebecca Not-A-St-Pierre

LaLaLaLaLaLaLa!!!

Bored!!!

A Shattered Love

The willows weep
I'm trying to keep
My life together
For the better
Death is comming,
My eyes are shutting
Our love is shattered
My heart is battered,
Lying there beating on the floor,
When living,
Feals like dreaming
My eyes bleeding,
I am now leaving,
When you die,
We shall meet,
On the firey steep,
Cliff of the deep,
oceans of our love.
By:Rebecca St-Pierre

I listen... the silence.... isn't it beutifull... to bad it won't last... just once would I like to be alone... hidden from all manors of civilisation ... To have that opertunity to have no one know where I am would be so grand... I miss the silence, no screaming, just me my thoughts my poetry and my art, forever wondering in my thought seeing things i could normaly only dream... oh how i wish a land like that would be real...