hi, first time i write something here, i normally write a lot, but haven't really thought about writting here.

okay, normally i start my entries with a 'five things of the day list' so i think i'll do that.

FRIENDS:  CECIL AND KRIS. there both here at elftown, i LOVE them.
THING I'VE BOUGHT:  Nothing... i'm poor...
MUSIC:  i'm listening to a lot of older 'heavy metal' at the moment... mostly guns n' roses and metallica and nirvana and more...
MOOD: bored... and nervous, exams are coming up.
COOL THING: tests, i've taken tons of tests... y'know, my heart is grey, i'm an ice queen, and my rock band is nirvana, pretty good hit i think...

and now some poetry i've written lately... since this is my first entry, it's gonna be rather long, plz don't kill me! tihi...

not that long ago:

There was a time so long ago,
Where I thought life's only gift, was sorrow.
There was a time so long ago,
Where I used to fear tomorrow,
But now I know that life is best,
When you take things as they're coming.
I now know life's greatest gift,
Is to wake up feeling loved, in the morning.

There was a time so long ago,
It seems it's best forgotten,
But trees won't grow and cannot hide,
If the very core is rotten.
So instead of hiding all those things,
I'll rather try to learn from it,
Knowing that in the night I can hide,
But only in the sun I can live.

sympathy for the bullied:

You might not have pulled the triker,
But you where the one, who gave me the gun.
And that makes you just as guilty.

I was a young kid, so young and naïve,
Had no idea about how cruel the world could be,
But you taught me that, and you taught me fast,
You blew me of with a blast.

You gave me the first bullet that day.

I grew older and it didn't stop,
When you kicked me down, I fought to get up,
But nothing could stop those bullets of word,
I quickly learn how bullets hurt.

I learn to collect my ammo.

School was such a painful time,
I was your slave and you ruled my mind,
I saw how you bullied a girl to the verge of suicide,
I played it over again in my head that night.

I guess that's how I learned to shoot.

Finally I had had enough,
I knew that to win I had to be tough,
I fired those bullets with a hate I'd never dreamed of,
But your shield made of arrogance threw them right of.

I shot for the first time and missed.

And for a long time I was down, I was in the mud,
The only thing on my hands was my own blood,
But then I met people, who taught me another way,
Live your life while you can they say.

They gave me my first real gun.

I learned how to use it and was good at it,
A bad crowed you might say, but I didn't care about it.
Cause the like you for you, and don't care what you do,
And most importantly they taught me how to shoot.

And I was going to use my knowledge.

So one day, so long after you'd forgot about me,
I showed up at your door, cause I hadn't you see.
You looked surprised until I showed you the gun.
Bullets don't hurt like words, but the result is just as fun.

I shot and I finally hit.

Now they call me a murderer, how cruel,
They say I'm a bad person, and that ain't cool,
They say I'm the one who's guilty, but how can that be?
Cause you see, I don't quiet agree,

Cause I might have killed you, and I'll do it again,
But you where the one, who gave me the gun.
And that makes you just as guilty.

28/04/04.

and then LOVE is LOVE:

Love is passion… love is surrender,
Loves got nothing to do with gender.
Love is man/man… Love is girl/girl.
Love is the same thing all over the world.
Love is crazy… love is a game,
Love doesn't care about, race, money, name.
Love it is pure… love it is dirty.
Loves got nothing to do with being worthy.
Love is absence… love is here,
Love is lovely and love is fear.
Love is fast… love takes time,
Love isn't wrong but it can be a crime.
Love is silence… love is noise,
Love is the song that's hidden in your voice.
Love is old… love is a kid,
Love can be love without sex in it.
Love is perfect… love is odd,
Love of the nation or love to your god.
Love is correct… love is true,
Love doesn't have to make sense to you.
Love is the sky… love is a tree,
Love is the perfect family.
Love is hated… love is dreamed of.
Love is so much. Love is love.

31/03/04

now that's all ( and i bet you're happy ) so bye bye, and have a great time. and if you don't, to bad for YOU.