heh, looking thru some of my older poems i found this one:

There was a time so long ago,
Where I thought life's only gift, was sorrow.
There was a time so long ago,
Where I used to fear tomorrow,
But now I know that life is best,
When you take things as they're coming.
I now know life's greatest gift,
Is to wake up feeling loved, in the morning.


There was a time so long ago,
It seems it's best forgotten,
But trees won't grow and cannot hide,
If the very core is rotten.
So instead of hiding all those things,
I'll rather try to learn from it,
Knowing that in the night I can hide,
But only in the sun I can live.

i still kinda like it, but fuck i was naive... bah, what the fuck happened to that happy bunny feeling i had at the time? i think this has to be one of the only positive poems i have ever written... hm, dunno why i keep thinking of it, guess it's because of what it USED to mean to me, and who it used to remind me of... trust me, it doesn't anylonger, or well, it still reminds me, but now i feel bitter and pissed and annoyed and revengefull instead of happy... hm, remind me not to look thru old poems...

The golden rule of revenge: Do onto others what they tried to do onto you.

(me likies :P)

All racists who are prepared to die for their country, please do so now.

The moon may kiss the stars so high
The sun may kiss the bright blue sky
The dew may kiss the morning grass
But you my friend, can kiss my ass

Smile, it makes people wonder what you're up too...

Who discovered that you could get milk from cows, and what the HELL did he think he was doing at the time?

When you don't like your job, you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way. ~Homer Simpson

I just wish some one would call me "sir"... without adding "you're making a scene". ~Homer Simpson

The only real proof that there is intelligent life in outer space is that they have never tried to contact us. ~Bill Watterson

I'll keep it short and sweet: family, religion, and friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. ~Mr. Burns

Suicide is a way of telling God "you can't fire me... I QUIT."


"..a third had died in his bunk of natural causes - for a dagger in the heart quite naturally ends one's life.."


Truth hurts... Maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with a seat missing, but it hurts.

i've found these at Funny quotes

wow, first day in a long time where i haven't been seriously depressed... i can sit infront of my computer and just chat around, eventhough ET is still empty (RRR) i dont' mind to much, i can sit and draw, i can write poetry, and i don't feel like killing myself and everything around me... isn't that just nice? :P i think it is, back to normal, at least for a while, it really helped to talk to somebody who could relate, and hug and comfort me when i felt like crying. Thank you my buddie, i know you won't be reading this, but you have no idea how much that helped me... so now i feel like i can face another day, maybe another week, or a month, or a year, or maybe even a lifetime... i don't feel like crying right now, wow, weird, and... yeah, i feel good... of course that doesn't change the fact that things are still fucked up, but at least i feel like i can live with it now... so hurray for my sanity, which has returned, if only shortly, and thanks to whoever bothered to read this. bye bye...

Mirror, mirror on the wall, 
Do you have no heart of all?
To reflect my face so very plain,
Don’t you know my pain?
Don’t you see me crying?
Mirror say your lying!
Tell me it’s not true,
That the broken one is you,
That the shadow in my smile,
Hasn’t been there for a while,
That the hand that keeps on shaking,
I simply playing, faking,
Tell me that I’m pretty,
Tell me… tell me really!
Don’t make me take you down,
Don’t show my silly frown,
When I count the fat on my body,
Don’t show my wrists so bloody,
Whatever you do, don’t show me,
Cause I like to believe I know me,
The pain in my eyes and soul,
Don’t show me looking so very cold,
Don’t show me it’s true what they say,
That I’ll never be happy anyway,
Don’t tell me cause then I have to admit,
That there is something wrong with it,
That I have turned cold and stony,
That I really am that sad and lonely,
Cause then my happiness would truly die,
For I know that mirrors, cannot lie.

When I was little I had it all planned,
I don’t think you’ll understand,
But I wanted to be a bitch, a real tough girl,
Paying back twice the pain in my world.

Had a plan of becoming a Goth,
Fascinated by all thing black, and blood,
Played it for a time, but found it fake,
Quit honestly it was a mistake.

Still like the spiked and black t-shirt,
The haunted eyes and the sarcastic words,
But the whole ‘wanna be Goth’ idea I ditched
Didn’t change my goal to become a bitch.

Then I took a 180 turn,
To the better girl in me I returned,
Had some goals and some plans to fulfil,
But for a time all my plans stood still.

Dropped the Goth and gave the bitch slap,
(Don’t worry folks the bitch is back)
Changed my clothes and changed my hair,
The old Suzie was no longer there.

And for it time it worked quit well,
I changed a lot even I can tell.
And some of those changes will never leave,
But that happy girl is no longer me.

Another person that I admired,
An image that I still desire,
Was the sporty me and active chick
It’s a dream of which I will never get sick.

A person that rows and looks stupid on top,
But she so sweet and funny that she’ll still be loved
It’s funny to think and I like the idea,
But that isn’t me… so yeah…

Sometimes I’m a punk with my black tops,
Sometimes I’m happy (al though I’m really not)
Always I row, cause that’s what I like…
But I’m nobody when I lay naked at night…

I want to be an outsider; I have respect for them,
Or maybe be a Goth but then again,
Sporty and funny would be awesome to,
Tell me what I can be to please you?

Cause I need you to tell me who I should be,
There’s no idea left inside of me…
Who I am, well I’m still not sure
Don’t even know who I want to be anymore

bah... not even elftown seems to make me in a better mood at the moment... i'm totally happy when i'm in school, and i have fun and laugh, but the second i come home, sit infront of my computer or draw or write or whatever i do... bam. depression kicks in. why the fuck do my mood swing so badly at the moment? one moment i'm happy (that would be school i guess... funny eh? It's almost so bad that i actually look forward to school.) next second i'm so angry... i have never spend so much of my time being angry before, as i have lately... i just totally flip out. most the time sandie is the poor victim of my anger, and even though it some times isn't to weird i flip, it's still bad that i do. so apologises to her. anyways, that's where my poetrymania kicks in... then i write until there's no more anger left, i sit down and i cry... i go to bed and a new days starts... normally going in here and talking to ppl would cheer me up, but is it just me or is there just no fucking body in here? *wonders* apparantly... there's nobody... and then i write stuff like this and wonder how many ppl will read it, and how many ppl who will actually give a flying fuck... i think there might be a, 2-3 ppl... question is if i want them to read this? oh well, if you did, i dunno why i'm so moody, i apologise for being so moody, and now send me some fucking messages cause i'm feeling a bit lonely. many thankies, Spuz.

The best of friends make the best of enemies,
That’s the thing about you and me,
Never quit forgave, never quite forgot,
Lift up my sleeves and show the bruises I’ve got.

Anger puts it mark on every body,
It leaves you brushed, ashamed and bloody,
Will the mirror brake when I show my face,
Will the sun burn my skin in distaste?

Never forgave and never forgive,
That’s the way I want to live,
You knew this I told you,
I told you the truth, don’t make me hate you.

I don’t think I’ll ever see you again,
We don’t hang the same places, but then again,
You never get rid of the scars that sting,
You’ll be following my thoughts in everything.

I know it doesn’t seem like I have moved on,
But I’m not blind you’ll never be gone.
Never have I bin hurt this bad,
And yet I don’t feel the slightest bit sad.

Never forgave and never forgive,
That’s the way I want to live,
You knew this I told you,
I told you the truth, don’t make me hate you.

Oh but I guess you’re happy where ever you are?
Because it’s true you wouldn’t have gotten this far,
If you mourned every person whose life you’ve destroyed.
Do you count all the lives with which you have toyed?

Nah I didn’t think so, because you really don’t care.
Bet you’re happy now that I’m not there?
And even though it hurts you should know everyone,
I thank all fucking gods that this bitch is gone.

Never forgave and never forgive,
That’s the way I want to live,
You knew this I told you,
I told you the truth, to late I hate you.

Little girl across the ocean, please don’t ever cry,
Live life every day, and never wonder why
Smile your pretty smile, even though you feel alone,
Know that wherever you lay you’re head, you’ll never be alone.

I’ll wipe away your tears,
Even though I’m far away,
And I’ll whisper words of comfort,
Tell you it’ll be okay,

And when the night it way to tough,
I’ll set it right with an ounce of love.
And even though I can’t be there,
Remember you can’t find me here.

Right in the middle of your heart.

As I sit here writing my poetry,
Pouring out anxiety…
Wasting my creativity,
On something nice and pointless,

I wonder why I just can’t see,
Any light in front of me,
I wonder why it couldn’t be
Something nice and pointless,

I wonder why I just can’t write,
Something sunny something nice,
Cause this is wrong and that is right,
Why I want it nice and pointless?

But in the end I have poetry,
About depression and anxiety
You can call it pure stupidity,
I call it nice and pointless.

Can’t pretend I’m happy, can’t pretend I’m fine,
I’ve got to many things on my mind,

My mind I dripping with poison,
My head is filling with doubt,
Let it all out, let it all out,

My tears are made of acid,
My mood is a rainy cloud,
Let it all out, let it all out,

Can’t pretend I like it, can’t pretend I’m pure,
I can’t even recognise myself any more,

I’m tearing out my hair,
I fucking scream and shout,
Let it all out, let it all out,

I’m not feeling any love now,
But I can live without,
Let it all out, let it all out.

I can’t pretend I regret, I can’t pretend I’m gonna change,
Fuck all of this, I’ll be crying just the same.

Fact is that I’m dying,
I’m dying right now,
Letting it all out, letting it all out.

I’m not gonna say I’m sorry, I’m not gonna apologise,
It’s a fight between my conscience, my conscience and my pride.
My life is build on morals, they’re stronger then my blood,
When the world crumples around me, they’re the only things I’ve got.
You can trust me to be a fair player; I swear I’ll never lie,
Being week and cowardice, I’d much rather die.
And fuck it feels so wrong, that I try to throw them out,
Cause they tell me to forgive you, but I’m just too fucking proud.

Hey baby it’s a worthless fight,
Ain’t never gonna blow my pride,
My pride is built on ethic,
My morals are too strong,
This is so pathetic,
I know that this is wrong,
But I have no doubt,
I’m just to bloody proud.

I believe in being honest, I worship honesty,
Ignoring me and saying shit, I thought you knew me.
I was gonna take a lot of shit, but fuck when you ignored me,
I have a life without you, and you had one before me.
Perhaps it wasn’t supposed to end like this, perhaps I could have been better,
Can’t deny I feel relived, tired of the blame when we where together.
You could have told me to my face, what this was about,
But now it’s way to late, cause I’m just to fucking proud.

Hey baby it’s a worthless fight,
Ain’t never gonna blow my pride,
My pride is built on ethic,
My morals are too strong,
This is so pathetic,
I know that this is wrong,
But I have no doubt,
I’m just to bloody proud.

And you slip away from my thoughts, like a rock in the sea,
Sinking to the bottom, where you won’t be seeing me.
I don’t know if I miss you, I despise you too much to care.
Perhaps it’s a bit lonely, but it’s better then having you here.
I’ll rather bleed to death, then having you around again,
See there you saw my pride; you’ll never be my friend.
I’ll fight for what I believe in, I’m gonna set things right,
I’d love to die helping someone, but what will kill me is my pride. 

don't ask me what went wrong, i'm not gonna tell you.
see it's way to late now...
don't put me to the test, i'm only gonna fail you,
see it's way to late now, it's getting way to late now, and i'm not gonna say a thing.

you keep on asking me,
you've done it twice today.
why aren't you friends?
and i have got my reason,
i'm not gonna share them,
accept some thing they end.

don't ask me what went wrong, i'm not gonna tell you.
see it's way to late now...
don't put me to the test, i'm only gonna fail you,
see it's way to late now, it's getting way to late now, and i'm not gonna say a thing.

stop asking me,
i've already told you,
ït's just simply over.
why won't i tell you why?
isn't that simpel,
you know her.

don't ask me what went wrong, i'm not gonna tell you.
see it's way to late now...
don't put me to the test, i'm only gonna fail you,
see it's way to late now, it's getting way to late now, and i'm not gonna say a thing.

i want to forget,
i want it closed,
i've moved passed it.
it's none of your buisness,
if i'm sad or not...
i've had it.

don't ask me what went wrong, i'm not gonna tell you.
see it's way to late now...
don't put me to the test, i'm only gonna fail you,
see it's way to late now, it's getting way to late now, and i'm not gonna say a thing.

i'm not gonna tell you.
if i'm sad,
it's pretty clear i am.
but i'm over,
your questions pull me back,
i fear i am...

above that.

don't ask me what went wrong, i'm not gonna tell you.
see it's way to late now...
don't put me to the test, i'm only gonna fail you,
see it's way to late now, it's getting way to late now, and i'm not gonna say a thing.

I got big news today about who I really am,
Sat on the grass, cried my eyes out, said damn
I'm not very nice; apparently, I'm selfish like hell
But I guess everyone in here can tell
So be warned before you approach me
If you only care about yourself you don't wanna know me
I talk about my problems to the ppl I trust,
About the things I've gain and the things I lost,
I need attention because I've always been over looked
Then started promoting myself, and got hooked
I need to prove myself, if you want to know why
You can always ask but I won't lie,
If been hurt by ppl I thought understood
But now realize that they never could.
Understand what's it like to have to survive
With no one to trust only the will to fight,
I have a brother; we're a lot like eachother
But I'll never beat him, so why bother?
He's one of the reasons I try to prove myself,
But comparing myself to him is bragging as well
So leave me alone, don't talk to me,
You'll be better of with out me
I'm not very nice, or some it seems,
I need to boost my self-esteem.

23/07 2004

...YOU...

It's Never Over

Return of my anger

Orden er for de primitive - kun genier behersker kaos..... de beskriver mit værelse tror jeg... :P tak for dem cecil!

apparently i'm worth: $1,748,758.00.
hm.... i sure ain't cheap... lol.

new poems... yay! one in danish and one in english.... i hardly ever write poems in Danish but i've made an exception today.... so here goes:



What A Shame:

No one gives a fuck about you
When you die they’ll live without you
Don’t get your hopes up they wont last
You’ll be going down and fast

Hopes are for the foolish foes
Who always thinks but never knows,
Future isn’t worth the trouble,
And hopes for it’ll just hurt you double.

Live in present not in past
If you’re looking back you’ll finish last
If you look ahead you’ll lose it to,
Cause you’ll se that fate that awaits you

Love is only imagination
On the ride it’s the ending station
Foolish hopes is the ticket
To the bottom, you just hit it

What a shame to know the truth
Then letting love get to you
To suddenly have to think and feel,
What a shame to be real.



Jeg er vokset op et sted, hvor livet tit er hårdt,
Folk er temmelig voldelige, for lunten den er kort.
Det er det multikulturelle samfund.
Hvor folk bliver slået ned, for det meste uden grund…

Bandekriminalitet… det vender man sig til.
Så når du går ud af døren… så tag pepper sprayen med.
Kære bonde jyde, din skræk den er til grin,
Du er aldrig blevet slået ned, fordi du er et dansker svin…

Så hvordan kan du fortælle mig, at du hader indvandre?
De bor alle sammen i Hedemarken, hvordan truer det Danmark?
Kære bonderøv, lad dog være at være sur,
Bare fordi de du kun har en bondemark, og vi andre lidt kultur.

Hele mit liv har jeg fået at vide, at invadere er et pak,
At de er nogen møg dyr der burde sendes hjem straks.
Så ryster jeg på hovedet, og svarer vemodigt igen…
Sig det til Tahani, hun er min allerbedste ven.

Så når nu en flok jyder, siger send dem alle hjem,
Så spørg jeg hvor mange indvandre, der lever rundt om dem,
Når de så siger ’to i byen, og det må være mere end nok’
Sir jeg ’vi har 81%’ og så dør de sku af chok.

Så hvordan kan du fortælle mig, at du hader indvandre?
De bor alle sammen i Hedemarken, hvordan truer det Danmark?
Kære bonderøv, lad dog være at være sur,
Bare fordi de du kun har en bondemark, og vi andre lidt kultur.

Jeg har altid været klog, min karakter den er top,
En af få der kan slå mig, hun er kurder pudsigt nok.
Hun ville være læge, og hjælpe mennesker hver dag,
Men det bliver nok aldrig til noget, for de sendte hen’ tilbage.

Når man lever hvor jeg gør, så bliver man tolerant,
Man kan jo ikke ændre mennesker, sådan er de nu engang.
Og nå jeg kan sige sådan, på trods af hvor jeg bor,
Så synes jeg lille bonderøv, at du skal sluge dine ord!

for hvordan kan du fortælle mig, at du hader indvandre?
Du har aldrig været i Hedemarken, aldrig set Danmark!
Der er så mange ting, jeg kunne fortælle dig til sidst,
Men jeg gider ikke spilde vejret, på en fucking nynazist.

so that's all.... see you around.

hi.... so.... it's the last day of school today....
i'm pretty tired cause i've just gotten home from school where we, like it's tradition to do, covered the smaller children (and ourself) in 'skum'.... it's that white stuff you use when you shave... and we were dressed up to.... i was dressed up as a punk.... nina actually screamed when she saw me... told me she couldn't recognise me... had a good laugh out of that.... everybody seemed to think i looked cool.... well, camilla (our school punk and my former best friend) kinda frose... and when i asked her later why she did that... cause i mean she looked like she'd seen a ghost or something... she said that 'you used to dress like that, THAT was your stile... now you wear it like a comstume'.... hm.... now there's something that makes you think a bit.... anyway... i might have lost my blue book in school.... i'm gonna cry if i have.... that took me ages to get ppl to write in... urgh.... hate that sort of stuff.... anyway... i'm gonna go now.... bye.