yet, I DO love you all ^^

it's my last week folks. at 12th of august I will be gone off to military duty.
so don't worry if I don't answer your messages from then on.

it shall be an interesting experience for me.

la rage du peuple:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mGaMZ2LpdRs

pain is illusion ^^

the shepherdess has some nasty tricks up her sleeve. like sending the visitor back in time billions of years ago and trapping him there.
no reality was very hard to endure... especially for all those billions of years forward to now...
she deserves the respect she asks for...

love me
hate me
ignore me
hug me
kick me
like me
lie to me
smile at me
punish me
help me

whatever and whoever and whenever...
yes, I embrace it all... the light and the dark, for there is no light and no dark!

^^

floOoOowww...
life is psychedelic =)

attention! last long-hair days!
military 'duty' is near.
I embrace it,
simply.

I embrace all that happens.

flow.

there is nothing more profitable than simply "giving" without awaiting any compensation.
as it is said -quite wisely- in ancient times; "everything you do turns to you threefold"

just be.

"lust awakens the desire
to possess
and
that awakens the intent
to murder"

spring summer fall winter... and spring
kim ki duk

some months ago, after a completely sober day (and week maybe even a month) I slept in my room, just to wake up a bit before sunrise with a feeling of 'strangeness'. I lay still, looking at the ceiling. you should guess then it was quite a shock when I extended my arm and touched the ceiling. my arm was not overly long, the ceiling was not lower than it usually was, yet I touched it.

I then noticed the faint sunlight and wished to look at the window to my left. I managed to see it all right, but I did not move, the room tilted as if I had the strings of it in my hands and the window just came on top of me. that means a 90 degree revolving of the room and the ceiling to be not on top but to the right of me. weird. I touched the knob of the window panel and saw the outside world, which was quite usual except its position; imagine looking upwards to see a 90 degree tilted world. freaky...

yet the strangeness emotion was not over, I felt I have to look around me, and as I lifted my head a little and looked at the direction of my feet, I saw that half of my room was gone, replaced and merging with a very dark jungle.

there were gigantic trees starting just five meters away from me. and there were some 'entities' who were darker than the trees and the jungle, walking slowly along the jungle -and the edges of my room, umm half of it ok. the entities were big, maybe four or five meters long, slow, and -as I felt- very old, ancient even. because of the dark, I couldn't make out their exact shapes.

they somehow were uneasy because of my existence there, and stopped to growl something at me. as I continued staring at them with amazement, one of them finally rushed over me and hissed menacingly. they were not evil, yet were uneasy and I felt I had no right to disturb them further. mind this; they were powerful, I felt it. yet for some unknown reason, I knew and they knew that I was at that occasion invincible there. they did not wish me any harm after all. they just told me I was not to be there, not then maybe.

so I decided to go back, leave them to their serene jungle and existence. I lay back down and slept.

I woke up in the morning. remembered everything, felt the residue long afterwards in the room.

I, to this day, do not know what that was, where I was, who they were etc... one thing I feel to the bottom of my heart to be true: that was not a dream.

yes, it can be a hallucination, one must always leave an open door for this kind of a scientific, materialist explanation. but not a dream, I just, know...

and if that was no hallucination...
well.. hmm...

A complete restructuring of society based on a true secure brotherhood and sisterhood, cooperative Eden farming and culture! Happy tribal homes working and sharing to create heaven on earth!

To have their tear stained faces kissed with generosity, surrounding them with the grace of flower decked rainbows instead of hells droning bombers, butterflies to dazzle their learning eyes - this is not idealistic -this is common sense!

Helen de Mat

...

Summer solstice
We come together
Reunite the stones of our ancestors
Summer solstice
We come together
Reunite the stones of our ancestors
Celebrate the summer
We come together
Reunite the stones of our ancestors
Summer solstice
We come together
Reunite the stones of our ancestors

my life is going from weird to weirder...
not that I complain about it! ahahah

hmm...

I protest the recent attacks against christiania and her free inhabitants by the danish government.


http://english.pravda.ru/news/world/14-05-2007/91429-collision-0

yang

yin

a timeless and forgotten place,
the moon and sun in endless chase
each in quiet surrender
as the other reigns the sky...
the midnight hour begins to laugh
a summer evening's epitaph
the winds are getting crazy
as the storm begins to rise...

wild were the winds that came
in the thunder and the rain
nothing ever could contain
the rising of the storm....

in the wings of ebony
darkened waves fill the trees
wild winds of warning
echo through the air...

follow the storm, i've got to get out of here...
follow the storm as you take to the sky...
follow the storm now it's all so crystal clear,
follow the storm as the storm begins to rise...

she seems to come from everywhere
welcome to the dragon's lair
fingers running through your hair
she asks you out to play...

in all of nature's sorcery
the most bewitching entity
hell can have no fury
like the rising of the storm...

follow the storm, i've got to get out of here...
follow the storm as you take to the sky...
follow the storm now it's all so crystal clear,
follow the storm as the storm begins to rise...

I was thinking that I was about to find love, yet what I found happened to be not just love, but a mystical occurrence, transcendental guidance and spiritual contact.

I am not babbling out of an overdose of love (though I'm overdosed) I have contacted a wise being, so much that she managed to utterly alter my level of consciousness in just a few days.

trembling with fear, trembling with bliss...

ah yes yes... 'love' was just like this, now I slowly begin to remember after a long long time, as it pulses wild through my veins...

life is just so weirdly beautiful...

I am truly amazed! did this really happen in turkey? *smiles*

http://74.52.238.226/~birnisan/film/1nisan07.html

a small, unorganized, alternative festival that has happened at the 1st of April, in the very midst of istanbul.

*optimistic smile*

quotes from the goddess:

i doubt that the imagination can be suppressed. if you truly eradicated it in a child, he would grow up to be an eggplant.

if you see a whole thing - it seems that it's always beautiful. planets, lives... but up close a world's all dirt and rocks. and day to day, life's a hard job, you get tired, you lose the pattern.

it had never occurred to me before that music and thinking are so much alike. in fact you could say music is another way of thinking, or maybe thinking is another kind of music.

it is above all by the imagination that we achieve perception and compassion and hope.

it is good to have an end to journey toward, but it is the journey that matters in the end.

love does not just sit there, like a stone; it had to be made, like bread, remade all the time, made new.

morning comes whether you set the alarm or not.

my imagination makes me human and makes me a fool; it gives me all the world and exiles me from it.

the creative adult is the child who has survived.

the only questions that really matter are the ones you ask yourself.

the only thing that makes life possible is permanent, intolerable uncertainty; not knowing what comes next.

the unread story is not a story; it is little black marks on wood pulp. the reader, reading it, makes it live: a live thing, a story.

there are no right answers to wrong questions.

there's a good deal in common between the mind's eye and the tv screen, and though the tv set has all too often been the boobtube, it could be, it can be, the box of dreams.

to light a candle is to cast a shadow.

to me the "female principle" is, or at least historically has been, basically anarchic. it values order without constraint, rule by custom not by force. it has been the male who enforces order, who constructs power structures, who makes, enforces, and breaks laws.

to oppose something is to maintain it.

we are volcanoes. when we women offer our experience as our truth, as human truth, all the maps change. there are new mountains.

what sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?

when action grows unprofitable, gather information; when information grows unprofitable, sleep.

ursula k. leguin