Last night i went to Shauna's..i had alot of fun....we helped Trever with his homework....and i assisted Shauna in making the football name tags....i never knew how much work went into those...the looked awesome..no matter what she says about them.....then we watched a lil of 50 first dates..then blue collar comedy tv....ate pizza....and another good thingy......then Shauna..had her shower....she smelled, looked, and tastes SEXY!!...lol...i had fun...then i got a ride home around 11:30pm......this morning i woke up at 6 to get ready for Mcdonalds with Shauna and the little dude..lol...umm.....She told me i make her feel inferior and stupid...but i really dont mean to...i honestly dont....i have alot of fun with her and i dont want to lose her over my own stupidity..im going to watch what i say now..and talk to Shauna about it...if she feels that way i really do need to talk to her......well about Mcdonalds....we got in..ate....i got hired..^_^ im happy! i finally have a job..i can get money..and i can do things....like afford to go on a date with Shauna...among other things...im still in debt for shooting my air conditioning unit with a crossbow....that was around a $400 repair...i have about $20 left to pay...maybe my dad forgot...but i think i will still pay when i can..i start next week..and my starting pay is about $5.50 but when i turn in my health form stuff...i get a 25c raise....thats 25 cents more than i made at starplex..and i dont have to pay ppl for rides....its right down the street..i can take the bike...lock it up on the fence..and ride it home around midnight...it will take me 5 mins both ways..so yea...im glad.....im going to miss Shauna today..i know its a quick change of subject and its sappy and all that but i will....i couldnt find a way to get to the game...so im going over to her house..even though shes not there and trever and i are going to play the playstation...im going to teach him how to play most of the games....its fun...i need another controler though.....im going to try and borrow one from scott..i dont think he ever plays his ps2 besides ddr...and i plan on trying to borrow that.....i dont know how late im going to be at Shaunas....maybe until she comes home...around 2 am..lol...i dunno..it all depends...she goes to a gunshow tomarrow in Dallas and comes home around 4ish...which means...6 or 7....i dont know what else to write...im probably going to get in trouble for something ..but i dont care....im going now..peace nigga!!

Yesterday i went to the dentist and then went home...they told me i needed to stop with the altoids...like im going to......anyways....i called Shauna when i got home..no awnser....i tried again ever hour or so..and she was at her bros game...so she didnt call until about 7:30..i talked to Lisa and Carl until then.....my parents are going out of town and im thinking of having a get together or something on saturday..like a movie night or something.....im trying to go with the Reicher band to fort worth for the game friday...ive got nothing else to do..and why not support them and my girlfriend all at the same time.....well..anyways...i went to her house...to help her and Trever decorate the house for Mona's b-day..i left my gift and blew up alot of ballons..and hung streamers.....then Shauna and i did a bit of her homework....well she did some of it..then i was just messing around with her alegebra....we spent an awesome 45 mins on the couch..then i had to go home..we spent about 10 mins on the porch...i didnt want to leave....it was around 10 so i had to..i ran home got there in 13 mins and 34 sec...my dad said he doesnt care if i come home when its dark bc she only lives down the road......then i called her to let her know i was alive..bc she told me to...im expecting her call today around 5:30ish....and im wanting to know what Mona's responce is.....yea...Trever rocks..Massie is cool..but annoying...the dog never stops licking or biting....so..im in my lunch..i need food..so i will depart ...gooday....you have just read....a clip from the moments that make life great, by Christopher Nevins.......yea..i know..stupid..corny...cheesy..im bored...leave me alone....go fuck a tree...or a dead body.....goodbye

hmmmmmm...lets see.....today i fell asleep at 1:30 am...after laying in bed around 10 and not being able to sleep......i woke up at 5...worked on my essay...then i took a shower...went to school...all that good stuff.....came home..eager to see Shaunna...mowed the lawn..then called her....she wasnt home...waited 30 mins..tried again..no luck..waited an hour...called again..she was there that time...turns out she got home right after i called the last time..around 5:30....i was talking to lisa, kb and Jackie until then..and i had just got done talking to bri.....Shauna called and i rode to her house... i found a shortcut...i think ill use it now...got to her house and we talked while she was doing homework....i went outside to find a flower to give her when i asked her to be my girlfriend..but i had no such luck, i was looking for one in the neighbors yard and then the dog, Massie, comes out and we chase her for a good 10 mins....we went inside tired...we saw court, and mick, and 2 other guys...they asked if Shauna and i were dating...at that time..we werent....after we got inside..i stole a peice of paper and since i wasnt able to find a flower i drew one..it was orange, purple, blue, and green...i wrote "Be Mine?" at the top of the paper and gave it to Shaunna....she said of course..gave me a hug and a kiss...then we watched some tv...talked to Trever, scared her mom, by my deep voice....yea..scare ppl 4 hours from there 43rd birthday while they are sleeping on teh couch is fun...then we danced...after playing thumb war for a while.....her bro asked her if she had a bf and i raised my hand..he said he thought we were friends..and i said " yea..about 20 mins ago"...and then i had to go..i got a kiss goodbye..she has my dogtags....i had a kick ass time..i must see her tomarrow it was only an hour and a half but i still had fun....went home..ate ice cream...called her...no one home..so yea...thats my day up to now

Today when alright at the beginning...then progressivly got worse a bit.....i went to school..did school shit...then i came home..did home shit..then i went to lisa's....got frustrated at everything..i dont know why....its like a male pms thing or something....the sound of larry's voice drives me nuts...hes always whining and bitching about everything...i wish he would pull is bottom lip over his head and swallow....i love lisa to death..but yes we both get on each others nerves sometimes....i tested hers by scraping my teeth on a fork..she nearly stabbed me with it.....then yea...i went out side for some peace and quite..she came out about a min. later...we talked...nothing productive..went back inside...back ont eh computer..got of the pc then sat down...10 mins. later back to the computer..than my dad came...and now im pissed bc i didnt make the most with the time i had with Lisa...now shes leaving for Paridise and i know shes probably going to see Dale which is driving me nuts...i hate him....they havent talked in about 2 weeks or a month..either one....i dont know what she see's in him...ive heard so much shit about him...i dont see how anyone could put up with it like she has....but yea...its like a test to me and i dont know why.....this weekend will prove something to someone....i hope its not my downfall though...i must go to sleep....i will miss my Lisa, Angel too...i think Carl and i will keep each other company or something....pool is always nice

thought: GOD WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING?
Music: the hum of the computer
whatever goes here: ????

Ive had a great day today..i woke up not remembering it was the 11th then i went to auto zone and got glue for the rear view mirror..and then i went to Lisa's i fixed Larry's bike then we watched a movie...argued..looked up movie times...didnt go..went to her grandmas to drop off tickets..went to hollywood got movies...watched the movies ate popcorn and such stuff now im leaving so i will rwrite more later cya

okies....today was kickass!!! i hung out with bri today..i had a shitaki load of fun, we went to the mall and wondered around aimlessly went from store to store....got lost in jc penny i had to ask for directions, oh ya..only man that will, then we went to best buy saw a fridge with a tv on it..boy is america getting lazy...messed with computers and then cameras..games then sat in some comfy chairs and watched all the big screens....talked to a worker about plums and plum trees...and before he left he told us he had car parts growing in his yard..i thought it was funny....so..then we went to barns and nobles and walked around talking...tried making conversation with book titles didnt work so well...then we sat down read some garfield....walked again..looked at a book about ww2 not a good topic...my relative and his army was in there (hitler) then we looked at a picture of big bend texas...that was weird....i saw a picture of an old couple dancing..and i thought it was sweet until i saw the caption...it said "Annie's last dance" that was depressing...then they took me home.....we had a staring contest and thumbwars and rock paper scissors...it was fun.....then i got home...my sister said Jackie was back in the hospital and i freaked.....i tried finding out what happend...i could...scott picked me up and we went to Ameila's for KB's surprise party...it was fun...we played ddr and had karioke...we rocked....it rocked...we all rocked each others socks........i met a girl named rachel who was mormon..it sucks they cant date....she had a beautiful voice...i asked her to dance...oh ya....so smoothe..lol......i had alot of fun and i love ddr now.....i got alot better at it then we all departed and i got home....now im here...i had alot of fun today..one day i will not forget shall be this, september 4th, the day the world created another open door.

YAY!!! well now shes out of the hospital its 7:11am on a thursday morning..im getting ready for school and hoping scott will give me a ride...during the weekend..if i get another weekend pass im going to go see Jackie!! see how funny she looks....i keep hearing about crutches and a neck brace....i wanna see for myself..plus i didnt get to see her in the hospital bc my dad didnt think it was important..which really pissed me off....well lets see...schools ok...the pussy posi is leaving me alone but i get dirty looks....theres some signs it may escalate sometime in the near future....if its ben...maybe i wont be so nice about it next time..ill just kick his ass......i wrote bri something nice this morning...bc scott broke her heart......that rat bastard...ummmm......i went job hunting yesterday..i applied at dairy queen, pizza hut, sonic, subway, churches, and mcdonalds.......i hate filling out applications....dairy queen showed lots of interest, told me to call today, pizza hut was so so, sonic showed some, subway had a small ass one, churches was cool, and mcdonalds im not so sure i wanna work at....but i will if i get a job....i love the fries!!, churches either..im not so fond of deep-fried chicken...everywere else is ok.....but i got to get ready so....thanks for reading.....now you better send me a message dammit!!!

well this sucks monkey nuts, my good friend Jackie is in the hospital....i hope shes ok...

a movie, hide and seek at walmart, dinner at wendys, and a midnight walk on the dam with Gina, Heather, and Nick

oh..and i saw k.b. at walmart

Why does she love him when hes not there?
Why cant she love someone whose already here?
I love her with all my heart, and a hell of alot more.
when i try to tell her how i feel...i open a door, just to find a wall....
theres nothing i can ever do...but wait in pain.....
some people tell me..all my patience is in vain.....
she will never love me, never see me as more
they say she walks on me..just as she does the floor...
we been through thick and thin...
some of the things we've been through would make your head spin....
But i do love her...so....ill wait another day......

Lisa i love you and you know it...i thought of you most of this week, im starting to wonder if you did at all.....right now im grounded...and i wont be able to see you much...for about a month....ive been with you almost every chance i had this summer....im going to go insane if i cant.....im trying to negotiate with my father on letting me see you at least once or twice a week......and hell....if your mom calls him and asks for me to tutor you...i would get to see you....ive talked to her about me helping you....il be with my sister at the house alone until sunday....i wish for you to stop by....we could watch a movie....i know your mom wouldnt leave you..so i wouldnt care if she stayed.....she also knows and can tell how much you mean to me....we had a nice talk about it when she was dropping me off last monday.......i need to go....my sister wants on.....so when you read this..please call me...no matter what time........

-I Love You
-Chris

well this past week i have been at discovery camp...i had alot of fun..met alot of new ppl and have expressed plenty of new feelings......i miss everyone i met there already...but while i was there....i really really missed Lisa...i cant wait to see her agian...but that could be hard because im grounded for a month because my dad said the house wasnt clean...to me its bullshit....i cleaned it better then they ever do......i should ground them....bc i come back and the whole place smells like shit and nasty ass lookin......well im alone for the weekend...with my sister.....so....ill be on everyonce in a while...after sunday..i wont be...unless im on at school....hopefully i can work something out iwth my dad to let me see lisa...but for now nothings working.....it pisses me off.....ima die if im stuck here for a month.........

well today was good and awful
i was awoken at about 8 30 by scotts phone call, then rushed by Angel to get ready to go to Lisa's...i was a lil pissed bc i had a small hang over and was just pissed by things earlier that morning......i was ready for an hour before i acually left for Lisa's....i didnt eat anything for breakfast....i got there about 11:20 hung out..then left about 12:30...i was irriated by almost everything today....i rode home..and took the long way.....it added over 2 extra miles to my trip....i wanted to collapse in the road and not get back up....when i got home i was drenched in sweet..and surprisingly in a pleasent mood.....scott came over and i talked to jaqulene and Kayla on the phone for a lil over 2 or 3 hours, scott joined in on the convo and we prank called a few ppl, then they came over....the party was a mo f'in bust..there was four of us....and one chick was a conceded bitch the other was too quite which didnt bother me..i just wished the other would shut up and leave...we ordered pizza...then her cousin was online and he watned her to flash him....she did a few times...it was fucking dumb....i was sitting there...of coursed i looked but it was fucking disgusting...its like it was all deformed.....i even told her she didnt have anything worth showing, she was all surprised.....truth hurts dont it....im glad she left after that...scott left shortly after and im watching lisa pierce her nose and talking to Emily...

ok today was fun.....i went to micks...we went to jq's g'pa's casa hung out there...went back to micks his stepdad came home....jq and i tried to sneak out ...she ran behind him while he was in the car.....not a good idea..lol....so i just ran too since we are already busted, and yea...she left her cell so she went back to get it. and she called him 20 times or so then we went swimming after we already knew we got him in more trouble...had fun...then went to mi casa for pb and j sandwiches went back to her g'pa's hung out there for a little bit then went home...then i got a surprise call..LISA WAS HOME!! i missed her so f'n much!! im going to see her in the morning..scott came over and we talked on the phone with Lisa and Angel..then we called Kelsi after she hung up on me...talked to her for a bit....and then Jq called and im waiting for her to call me back...so.yea....oh..then then..i had 5 dolllars....then...somehow....100 more showed up...muahhahahahahaha.....i have my ways....and no im not a pimp nor man whore...aka giggilo....i am a massage dude....thats how good they are!! and if ilike ya..you get them free

oh man tonight was good and bad!! first of all mick came over to mi casa at about 1:30 then we left for CiCi's, we had trouble bc of cars and just having one bike...so we added a few mins to our estimated arrival
we got to 42nd street and was followed or being searched for by some dude in a red car with his bass way the hell up....then the unthinkable happend....MICK'S MOM CALLED!!!! yea....he got busted...im glad he didnt tell hi smom about me being with him....THANKS MICK!! we i didnt get anything but exersice tonight...the thing was.....CiCi lives at 2901 43rd street.....not 2901 42nd street....so yea...i was snooping around the wrong house....i got home around 3:45, she called about 5 mins later asked me whats up and we had our little laughs...well better luck next time...... i stilll got my work out.....

ok..umm..today i talked to CiCi on the phone for a bit...then i joined her and two of her friends to see "The Village" i had fun even though the movie sucked ass..i wasnt satisfied at all.....not scary, the plot was ok, but the twist at the end was shitty, well...i had fun bc i was talking to CiCi during the movie...she makes growling noises when she gets scared....its funny...she grabbed my arm once when they were opening a damn box...now thats scary....all in all i had alot of fun......yay for me....maybe shes right...i could be obsessed....but i dunno....i miss Lisa...she needs to come home!!

got my ingrown toe nails taken out...lots of blood and tissue and ripping noises...but great entertainment.....i wish lisa could have been with me...i know she wanted to.....i cant wait until she gets back next week..im going to call liz and ask if i can go along for the ride when she picks them up..no matter how much i go through with her...i still love her......anyways..today i went to the mall with mandi and hung out with hanna,amber,trent,kb,max,cc,her bro, and some other ppl...i saw teh amber from when i snuck out.....i dont know her last name...but shes cute...anyways...i came home...got bitched out when i was talking to lisa on the phone cleaned the bathroom....and now im here...writing this

ive been used yet again...and it hurts like hell.....i need to get out of here and find someone that will truly care about me.....this shit is what makes me so ready to leave....im moving again for those of you who even care.....but for some im not even a presence....and it pisses me off....i try not to do wrong to people..but i always do...........i cant ever find someone that will love me as much as i do them.....ive been told plenty by susie and angel that i should just disappear....and never talk to her again....im starting to think they are right....im thinking Lisa wouldnt even notice.........when others are around.....im not acknowledged......i wanted to leave her house, i walked off and i was amazed that she acually chased after me....i thought it was mick at first...i didnt expect Lisa to come after me.......she might care, but its not one of her priorities...niether am i...

Today was good some parts....others were blah.....i went to Lisa's then we dropped her off at her appointment....she said her psychiatrist said i was cute....or something like that....im guessing they talk about me......anyways...we went to micks....hung out there..then i went home....and we are supposed to sneak out tonight...no one better bail

TODAY WAS AWESOME!! let me say that again TODAY WAS AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!....there is no other day that comes to mind were ive had so much fun just being me....Today with Lisa rocked my socks...and we didnt even do anything that would......i went to her house and gave her too big hugs!! one for me and the other for susie....we talked a bit then went to Davids..and he was getting his new wheel chair so he was having a good time too..doing donuts and speeding and whatnot...then i drove Liz's car back to the house....Lisa was jealous bc i got to drive and she didnt, i let her park it..she did a bad job...and her mom told me i parked bad...lol...anyways we went back to Davids and his van is so F'n cool!! the door opens by itself then the ramp comes out..then the whole back end of the fan drops!! its sweet as hell!! we went to the mall and ate at wendeys then then saw Callie, Joe and Amber..i think thats her name...then we walked to Spencers and i got lubed up again!! it smells good..ima buy a bottle..just for the hell of it..oh and a lil sex tip book..it was funny as hell..however funny hell is....then we met up with Liz and David after sitting in Tilt for a bit talking looked around for funny socks,...lol...i still cant stand how they just show off thongs, i feel perverted when i look at them....anyways..we went back to the house and we hugged agains...then i sorta mad her dance...then we put in the ghetto Romeo and Juliet and she currled up in a blanket and cuddled with me......i think shes cuddly!!! i did something to her finger that she says kinda turned her on...lol....then we got into the car and acted goofy...her mom took a picture of us...which is one my page now....yay!! i missed her already..i wanna see her!!......why cant my parents ever go out of town when she still is in town!! then id ride down there during the night..

well yesterday i went to the mall with Lisa and Angel...we saw Callie's Joe and a few other ppl i knew....we played a sit down shooter and what not...i had fun.....then Lisa sat me down and interrogated me..i thought it was cute the way she was acting...i would get up and walk away...but she would always come after me...until i walked to far..then i just turned around and walked back...i couldnt stay away...then we just sat there..they played on the star thing on the floor..then we saw richard...talked to him..then he joined us and went to bestbuy then to Callies....Callie tried to kick me and i made a big mistake....i grabbed her foot and threw her to the ground....i didnt do it on purpose..its a reflex i was taught....the bad thing was she had broken her tail bone a few years back..and it hurt like hell.....she started crying.....i felt like a fool.....she was ok..and attacked me a few times later.....we got there and watched the end of edward scissor hands...im not sure if ive ever watched the whole thing...anyway hung out by the pool until nine....Lisa was trying to get my attention when i was talking to Callie...im not sure if she thinks i still like Callie or not....but she was trying so hard to get my attention...when she hadnt the rest of the day...and i was trying to get hers.......she knows she always has my attention...i thought that was cute....Lisa is proud that we just hung out today...it drove me nuts...im so used to holding her....nothing is the same now....she doesnt look at me the same..hug me the same....her hugs are dead now.....it sucks ass......Dale doesnt know how lucky he is...and he better not fuck up....i secretly wish he would..but i dont want to see Lisa hurt...i still dont think its fair how she has to wait on him for phone calls and stuff...she was yelling about him in the car last night....it kinda made me depressed....she so set on being with him...it kinda makes me wonder what my place in her life is.......