i dont want this to fucking happen i hate it...i love lisa to death..and i really really fucked up yesterday...and its ruined everything...why cant i fucking think before i act? nothing i ever do will ever be right to anyone...im not even living right..i hope someone kills me or something....i am really fucking sorry about what i did and i dont want to lose Lisa..shes been there for me for a long ass time and now im losing her...i dont want this to happen...i cant do a fucking thing right.....i would do almost anything to get her back..i dont care if shes pissed at me or not..its just her that i want back...ive suffered for her and i will continue to, just so i know shes still there....death would be appreciative right now

though: what the fuck was i doing?
mood: watchin the blood flow down my arm and off my fingertips
music: death song

ok well today started innocent enough...then it got worse and worse and i fell like shit

GUESS WHAT!!! I GOT IN LISA'S PANTS!!!! WOOOOT!!! they are acually kinda comfy, oh! and her boxers too, well the whole night went like this.....
1. Got to Lisa's house
2. Talked to Tiffany while Lisa got ready
3. Left for the game in an extremely good mood!
4. Adored Lisa's beauty (Lisa is thinking "Sappy Bastard" right now)
5. Got to the game
6. Ran into Josh..(kinda annoying)
7. Drizzled!!
8. Watched people run for there lifes as a few drops of water fell from the sky!
9. Doged the rain (failed attempt)
and Attacked KB who i love so much and broke her mum
10. Went to concession stand for Lisa's "Clown Juice"
11. Got "Clown Juice" while Lisa talked to people
12. Rained Harder.
13. Big Huddle of people around the concession stand
14. Sang in the rain!
15. Got Soaked
16. Matt- "Hey!! your not supposed to wear black!! your supposed to wear white when it rains!"
17. Called Liz
18. Watched old people slip and fall
19. Got in the car, Soaked
20. Squishy..Squishy noises
21. Watched Lisa feeze
22. My nipples got harder
23. Attacked Tiffani
24. Striped
25. Stole Tiffani's shirt, Lisa's boxers and pants
26. Got into Lisa's boxers and pants!!(i like how that sounds)
27. Attacked Tiffani
28. Went to Dance
29. Sat outside for an hour
30. Got into dance and damn arm didnt set off metal detector
31. Made fun of black people dancing
32. Watched Lisa laugh at black people dancing
33. ATTEMPTED to dance like a black person with Lisa
34. Discovered that Lisa is Black
35. Walked away
36. Got drug back by Lisa
37. Tried to Salsa
38. Found out my nachoes dont have the right dip
39. Danced like a white person
40. Tried having the D.j. wish Lisa a happy b-day.
41. Got drug back
42. Got rape danced by three black chicks
43. Lisa laughed her ass off
44. Tried dancing with Lisa.
45. Lisa laughed her ass off
46. Slow dance with Lisa (weird but soothing feeling)
47. Enjoyed having Lisa in my arms
48. Called Liz
49. Became delivery man for a black dude
50. Left
51. Got home
52. Stripped off the shirt
53. Threw it at Lisa
54. Hugged her goodbye
55. Got inside wronte my diary

im bored, im talking to lisa about homeocming tickets, and blowing up birds...umm..just fed the dogs..my day was good...some ppl at a.j. moore still think my name is either bob..or robert shilling...its funny....so i awnser to both

im fed up with life..it sucks, it just takes all the bad shit and shoves it in your face...im not perfect enough for anyone...everything i do is wrong...i get constant critisism by my father for teh simplist fucking things...it makes me feel like a mistake..im sure he critizises me for living...am i doing that wrong to? someone end my fucking life for me..so i dont have to...i would..but i see no rope..my knife isnt fucking sharp enough and i would burn myself but i cant find a damn lighter...id stick a penny in the socket but ive done that before and i obviously survived..so thats a waste of time...some one just fucking kill me

well..2nd day at a.j. moore complete....i got my note from my stalker this morning..and got a surprise hug..i had fun..at the bus stop..well its my old school..so yea..idhave fun..anyways...got to school..ate breakfast, sat next to Carra who is about the cutest girl in the school..and yea i know shes taken so dont bother telling me that..i can still compliment, anyways..went to tmy classes..ran half a mile, push ups, pull ups, lifted about 210lbs with my legs...yada yada yada..wrote Rachael a 3 page note..and umm...school ended..big woop...got on the bus after walking and talking to carra outside..tried getting my notebook to rachael but my dad was being an ass and honking uncontrollably like hes important or something..so i had trent to it..still honked...anyways..i dont know if trent got it to her or not..but i hope he did..if not..ill get it to her tomarrow...if trent still has it that is...and i hope he does..or im fucked...anyways..didnt do much else today..played final fantasy x-2 for a few hours..then got on the pc...lisa might be transferring to a.j. moore, its cool i guess, well im going to homecoming with her..after that i dunno..i dont feel so much like i have an obligation with her anymore...not like a.j. moore as any cute girls..i only know one..and havent seen anyothers...its a sorry ass school...when ppl try to shuot papers into the trashcan they always miss..no wonder they have no sports...they suck! anyways..yea..the blacks try to be niggers..but its funny bc they dont know how....well im bored and waiting for lisa to get back so ill have someoent ot talk to

WWWWWOOOOOTTTTT fun fun!!!...i had an interview today at mr gattis..got hired..ya ya..anyways..went to lisa's, met Tiffany..shes awesome...happens to be kayla vela's lil sis..didnt know that.....umm..yea...then sam came over and we went to the park..had alot of fun...Tif. tried beating me up alot..it was fun...we got back from the park and chilled out..wrestled on the trampoline..then watched a lil moulin rouge..and then angel got there..i will add more in here later...then i went home...and lisa got mad at me...bc i kicked everyone out of the car and shes the only one that left..it sucks..but yea..now we are having an arguement about the difference in tu and vous in french..she says theres none..i say there is..the convo is followed below..anyone with input into it..write me....thank ya

Hells666Rose: Voulez vouc couche avec moi?
Hells666Rose: vous**
Nevinzz: umm..of course lisa
Hells666Rose: lol
Nevinzz: tu sexe
Hells666Rose: lol
Nevinzz: vous sexe
Nevinzz: vous= all of you, or they
Nevinzz: sexe = sexy
Hells666Rose: no
Hells666Rose: vous is you
Nevinzz: no
Nevinzz: well yea
Nevinzz: you as in plural
Nevinzz: as in...like..all of vous
Nevinzz: or all of you
Hells666Rose: Hells666Rose: translate you from english to french
SmarterChild: Translated from English to French, "You" becomes "Vous."
Hells666Rose: Ahe,
Hells666Rose: Ahem
Nevinzz: plural you!!!
Hells666Rose: vous is pronounced without the s
Nevinzz: nous is we vous is you plural
Hells666Rose: vous is you
Hells666Rose: sam took french dude
Nevinzz: je is, i or me tu, is singular you,
Nevinzz: il or elle is he or she
Nevinzz: nous is we
Nevinzz: vous is you plural
Nevinzz: ils, elles, ons is.. he she or they
Hells666Rose: Hells666Rose: Translate voulez vous couche avec moi from french to english
SmarterChild: Translated from French to English, your text becomes:

"Want lie down with me."
Hells666Rose: im right youre wrong, accept it
Nevinzz: theres more that one meaning of vous in french
Hells666Rose: no theres not
Hells666Rose: its pronounced voo
Nevinzz: SmarterChild: Translated from French to English, "Vous" becomes "You."
Hells666Rose: pronounced voo spelled vous
Nevinzz: SmarterChild: How would you like me to translate "je, tu, il elle on, nous, vous, ils elles ons"?

1 English to French
2 English to German
3 English to Italian
4 English to Portuguese
5 English to Spanish
6 French to English
7 German to English
8 Italian to English
9 Portuguese to English
10 Spanish to English
11 French to German
12 German to French
Nevinzz: 6
SmarterChild: Translated from French to English, your text becomes:

"I, you, it it one, us, you, they they ons."
Hells666Rose: vous = you
Hells666Rose: stupid ass
Nevinzz: i know how you say it..im in frinch
Nevinzz: french*
Nevinzz: i didnt say it wasnt!!
Nevinzz: damn
Nevinzz: its plural you
Nevinzz: as in more than one you
Nevinzz: tu is singular
Hells666Rose: tu is spanish
Nevinzz: tu is french also
Hells666Rose: Hells666Rose: translate tu from french to english
SmarterChild: Translated from French to English, "Tu" becomes "You."

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Hells666Rose: translate vous from french to english
SmarterChild: Translated from French to English, "Vous" becomes "You."

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Hells666Rose: means the same thing
Nevinzz: i didnt say it wasnt damnit..whats your damn argument?
Hells666Rose: vous means you singular.
Nevinzz: no
Nevinzz: vous means you plural damnit
Hells666Rose: no
Nevinzz: tu is singular
Nevinzz: you can say..you get the dog..your you (as ina group) get the dog
Hells666Rose: mhm
Nevinzz: it will be the same
Hells666Rose: *shrugs*
Nevinzz: and why the hell are you argueing about it?
Nevinzz: i take french..i know im right
Hells666Rose: i know im right because im stubborn
Nevinzz: no..your not..tu = you, singular, unproper, vous = you, plural, proper
Nevinzz: you use vous when talking to a person of power

ok..well..had psat this morn...it was ok...i hate english....its dumb..if i can read..im fine....i dont need to know whats wrong wtih a sentence....if i can understand it..then its right.....anyways.....doing nothing at all.....bored as fuck...not a good day...just getting more pissed by the min.....contemplating an event this weekend...dont know exactly what to do..i have an interview friday...it depends on taht....hmm...what else?...talking to lisa...not much of any progress there..she says im being impossible...i dotn see how..

the earth shattering tale of getting a homecoming date!!:

Nevinzz: howdy
Nevinzz: how are you?
Nevinzz: that picture on your elftown scares me
Nevinzz: LIIIIIIISSSSSSAAAAA?????
Nevinzz: ok...leave a message at the beep
Nevinzz: this is chris..im here to talk to you..and ask you things..message me back as soon as you can....*click*
Lisa: hi
Me: howdy
Me: whats up?
Me: this is lisa right?
Lisa: yea
Me: ok..just checking....
Me: what are you doing?
Lisa: nothing
Me: what are you doing...on the 22nd?
Me: ?
Lisa: umm
Lisa: idk
Me:
Me: Lisa...umm...i know this is dorky and stuff...but...would you like to be my homecoming date?
Me: i was thinking about it..and rob and amber told me i really should ask you
Me: and i cant think of anyone as good as a candidate as you
Lisa: when is it?
Me: 22nd
Me:
Lisa: hmmm
Me: ohhh..the anticipation
Me:
Me: .......*whimpers*
Lisa: hang on
Me: k
Me: *dies*
Lisa: *giggles*
Me: your doing this on purpose!!
Lisa: so?
Me: oh..not to change the subject..but your going to get your gift late..i decided to do it the honest way..and work for it
Lisa: lol
Me:
Me: must you kill me?
Lisa: yes
Me: you just cant answer?
Lisa: i could
Me: but?
Me: you would rather me wait?
Lisa: si
Me: torture
Me: why dont you just tie me up..and make me wait? you masochist
Lisa: lol
Me: E-V-I-L
Lisa: yea
Me: how much longer do i have to wait?
Lisa: idk
Lisa: maybe till 8
Me:
Lisa: im about to have to go at 6:15
Me: oh..yea..thats true...are you really having to think about it?
Lisa: you'll neverknow
Lisa: *smileS*
Me: the answer or about you thinking?
Lisa: hehehehe
Me: your mean...
Lisa: yea...
Me: i think i will tie you up..and make you watch me play with your gift
Lisa: lol
Lisa: what is it?
Me: i told you a while back..
Me:
Lisa: NOO!
Me: yes i did
Lisa: tell me again
Me: i cant
Me: until you tell me an answer
Lisa: ok
Me:
Lisa: if you
Lisa: tell me i'll tell you
Me: you have to tell me right after i tell you..promise?
Lisa: yes i swear
Me: its a game..for your pc..one we talked about..and you expressed plenty of interest in
Lisa: ooooooob
Lisa: hoohhh
Lisa: :-D
Me: lol
Me: and your answer?
Lisa: ....
Me: thats no answer!
Lisa: ....
Lisa: *smiles*
Lisa: so who were these people that told you to ask me
Me: i was talking about homecoming with rob and amber..and i mentioned you..and amber told me i should..and i was thinking about it anyways..so i decided to
Lisa: who's amber
Me: cervantez
Me: or something like that..we played twister on your trampoline
Lisa: ooh yea
Lisa: amber
Me: soooo....(fill in blank with answer -->) _______
Lisa: if i say yes, are we going to do the whole mum/garter thing?
Lisa: :-\
Me: i dont know anything about those
Lisa: lol
Lisa: how can you not?
Me: its me lisa....chris remember?
Me: i never went to homecoming
Lisa: neither have i
Me: but if you want to we can..i would be glad to make you a mum..or a garter..or which other one it is
Lisa: mum
Lisa: if we do i dont wanna wear it to the game. theyre annoying
Me: lol ok
Lisa: ask your mom about it. she'll know
Me: lol ok..
Me: so is it a answer or a answer?
Lisa: hang on
Me: k
Me: bout time for you to get changed isnt it
Lisa: 'tis what im doing
Me: ohs...ok..
Me: dont forget your promisee
Lisa: what promise
Me: to answer
Lisa: oh
Me: yup
Lisa: *thinks*
Lisa: umm
Lisa: umumumum
Lisa: *thinks more*
Me: =-O
Lisa: im sorry....but
Lisa: ok
Lisa: i'll go
Me: WOOT!!!!
Lisa: lol
Me: to homecoming right? not to b-ball pracice?
Lisa: lol
Lisa: yea
Me: WOOT!!!
Lisa: lol
Lisa: no im just kidding.
Lisa: i dont wanna go.
Lisa: kidding again!
Me: !!!
Lisa: AHAH!
Me: LISA!!!
Me: YOURKILLING ME!!
Lisa: CHRIS!
Me: BUT I LOVE YOU!!
Lisa: *petpet*
Me: yay..no go to practice
Lisa: do you know my answer?
Me: it was a yes
Lisa: no..
Me: !?
Lisa: noim kidding
Lisa: 'twas a yes
Me: woot!!
Me: no more torture!!
Me: just go to practice!!
Me:
Lisa: ok bye
Me: bye
Lisa is away at 4:17:19 PM.

ok..hmmm..its 8am and im in the computer lab..im bored and it was a bit chilli and theres no one out side..so im in here....writing my diary....well..hmm...Shauna and i officaly split yesterday..and i feel better..ive been tryingto for a while but never got a hold of her...well...hmm..then i was talking to lisa after she got back from basketball practice..it turns out that..larry was talking to casey on the pc..and just spit out eminem..over and over...Larrys a lil wigger...Lisa and Angel will agree...so..Lisa got grounded right after we made plans...pissed me off..another arguement..it ended on slightly good terms...unlike someof the others were we just drop teh whole thing...i might start working at mr gattis soon..need to find $ for lisa's bday gift..then 12 days until six flags with angel..woot fun...anyways...talked to carl, matt, chris, angel, lisa, salem, casey, kb, jackie, myself, and probably some others yesterday on the pc...i really have not much of alife...it basically revolves around..hanging out with lisa..school....eat and sleep..i hope i can add a job and some money in there somewere it seems like ihave a "busy" schedule...well i think i may go back outside now..peace nigga!@!

Well sitting in the library again..messing with the network configurations...im going to learn how to hack sooner or later..i sent some messages to Lisa..and we need to have a party or something this weekend....do something different....so yea..the bell rings in a few mins..and im bored..and lisa is not checking her elftown..i wish she would sign out when shes down with it..so i know im not talking to myself..anyways..talked to matt today about weird shit..i think..i really cant remember..stole a burger for him..or acually carried it in my pocket..i completely forgot about it until he asked for it..anyways....still bored..i have about 3 mins to the bell..and have nothing better to doe thatn to type in this damn thing.....still trying to get past all the blocks which will not work.......bell

Well sitting in the library again..messing with the network configurations...im going to learn how to hack sooner or later..i sent some messages to Lisa..and we need to have a party or something this weekend....do something different....so yea..the bell rings in a few mins..and im bored..and lisa is not checking her elftown..i wish she would sign out when shes down with it..so i know im not talking to myself..anyways..talked to matt today about weird shit..i think..i really cant remember..stole a burger for him..or acually carried it in my pocket..i completely forgot about it until he asked for it..anyways....still bored..i have about 3 mins to the bell..and have nothing better to doe thatn to type in this damn thing.....still trying to get past all the blocks which will not work.......bell

Well sitting in the library again..messing with the network configurations...im going to learn how to hack sooner or later..i sent some messages to Lisa..and we need to have a party or something this weekend....do something different....so yea..the bell rings in a few mins..and im bored..and lisa is not checking her elftown..i wish she would sign out when shes down with it..so i know im not talking to myself..anyways..talked to matt today about weird shit..i think..i really cant remember..stole a burger for him..or acually carried it in my pocket..i completely forgot about it until he asked for it..anyways....still bored..i have about 3 mins to the bell..and have nothing better to doe thatn to type in this damn thing.....still trying to get past all the blocks which will not work.......bell

Well sitting in the library again..messing with the network configurations...im going to learn how to hack sooner or later..i sent some messages to Lisa..and we need to have a party or something this weekend....do something different....so yea..the bell rings in a few mins..and im bored..and lisa is not checking her elftown..i wish she would sign out when shes down with it..so i know im not talking to myself..anyways..talked to matt today about weird shit..i think..i really cant remember..stole a burger for him..or acually carried it in my pocket..i completely forgot about it until he asked for it..anyways....still bored..i have about 3 mins to the bell..and have nothing better to doe thatn to type in this damn thing.....still trying to get past all the blocks which will not work.......bell

i love lisa..shes my BESTEST friend she does alot for me...and doesnt know half of it..she makes me happy, sad, rude, pissed, white trash..its so much fun..bell is ringing..bye

yes well i didnt get anysleep last night..i fell asleep around 1 and woke up at 2 bc my fucking stepmother was balling over some stupid shit...something about her losing to babys and it hurting inside...say she wasnts kids...i almost felt sorry for her bc of that..but it pissed me off bc she wouldnt shut the fuck up..she repeated the same thing over and over and screamed and whined and bitched about it.....then she said she wanted to gorgous kids like diana and i...she said we were perfect...were she got that idea..i dotn knwo..then she said theres nothing wrong with us..but my dad always tries to tear us down..thats true..but then she said something about my mother which realy FUCKING pisses me off...she said she was some "ugly ass german chick from hell that you'd have to put a paper bag over her head to fuck"..and he said all my dads ex's were ugly....i wanted to say " hey you fucking bitch..notice a pattern? means your fucking ugly too!! go look past your outdated bigass red hair..and you pounds of makeup you wrinkly baggy ass peace of shit!!!' my dad was getting annoyed with her and told her to shut the fuck up already....he finally got to her shut up around 3:30 and i got some sleep....thank god...

i think im single again?

WOOOOT!!!! ITS ONLY 3 AND IVE ALREADY HAD A SHITLOAD OF FUN!! ok..well...i woke up early this morning, and sat up like i always do...(that kinda sounds like a song?) and got ready for church...Liz picked me up and i fixed her sliding glass door..then we, lisa, liz and i, went to church...it was boring...but i go for lisa and angel bc i love seeing them...and then...angel and i missed our date in the confessional..that sucked...and umm...well after church we went to a meeting..and the guy that was making the speach thing seemed a lil feminine to me and had a lisp...well im going to try and go with Angel and the youth to six flags on teh 24th....then umm...yea we were in teh car..and lisa started to doing her gay sex slave impression..it was funny as hell..according to her..she shouldnt have put all those small fuzzy animals in her ass...lol...we ate at the grand buffet..something like that....and had alot of chinese food....it was yum..until the squid came out...then it was deliscous...i hate around 12 squid..angel ate 1 and lisa got to gagging..lol...about 4 times.....awe..the fun i had...Angels parents are cool!! her lil bro is awesome...so well behaved..lol....he handed us all pennies for the fountain....and Angel had to dance for her money to go to the fair...it was funny..Lisa danced with her......and now im home..typing this

WOOOOT!!!! ITS ONLY 3 AND IVE ALREADY HAD A SHITLOAD OF FUN!! ok..well...i woke up early this morning, and sat up like i always do...(that kinda sounds like a song?) and got ready for church...Liz picked me up and i fixed her sliding glass door..then we, lisa, liz and i, went to church...it was boring...but i go for lisa and angel bc i love seeing them...and then...angel and i missed our date in the confessional..that sucked...and umm...well after church we went to a meeting..and the guy that was making the speach thing seemed a lil feminine to me and had a lisp...well im going to try and go with Angel and the youth to six flags on teh 24th....then umm...yea we were in teh car..and lisa started to doing her gay sex slave impression..it was funny as hell..according to her..she shouldnt have put all those small fuzzy animals in her ass...lol...we ate at the grand buffet..something like that....and had alot of chinese food....it was yum..until the squid came out...then it was deliscous...i hate around 12 squid..angel ate 1 and lisa got to gagging..lol...about 4 times.....awe..the fun i had...Angels parents are cool!! her lil bro is awesome...so well behaved..lol....he handed us all pennies for the fountain.....and now im home..typing this

well i had another awesome day hanging out with Lisa...i think i might have caused a few problems though..i didnt want to..i would have gladly gone home if need be....but yea..we went to the fair..and i got lisa to go on "freak out" which was fun..then she drug me to every other ride taht happended to spin..and i got dizzy, whoozy, and a lil sick...the gravitron took my brain and did with it...what meat does when it hits glass and slides down...she took me on that twice..the first time was willing bc i didnt think anything wrong..the second time was horrible...im still really dizzy from it...i can feel it.....i look down at my key board and my hands seem to be moving from side to side....i guess i jsut need to keep moving or something..like after that we went back to her casa and chilled until Alyssa got there and we went to the mall...shopped around and stuff..played spider man...the zombie game with lisa..and time crisis 3 with Alyssa..shes cool...like lisa says i say...shes cute...nice..and funny....to me..shes the hot girl on the refrigerator....anyways....then we chilled out in special FX for a while talking about sims 2 and the wild sex you can have in the game and other things of that sort....while reading a big ass book about it.....then we got free samples at dip and dots..and the lady got a free cell phone ..about the time we got close to lisa's...we realized there was no cell phone...so we tried finding it..remembering where we went and stuff..then i spit out..."dip and dots!!" and guess who called!! DIP AND DOTS!!...woot..im a freakin genius...but i was late..then we went back..i got a work out bc i ran to and from dip and dots..well back until i found alyssa...then we left..and got chinese food!!! it was great..we talked about all sorts of stuff..but then lisa got some soup that smelled and tasted like cow shit....gross as hell...im thinking the chef took a dump in it..but idont wnat to ..bc i tasted it..along with the rest of us..ewww....then they dropped me off after the waitress talked our ears off...and the whole tiem..she never made eye contact......ok well then we left...on the trip to mi casa...we all sang the "tar pangled banner" (star spangled banner with no s's), and lisa and alyssa sang moulin rouge songs..and told me not to sing..it was mean..and horrible sounding...but i sang anyways....then i made wolf noises,,and evil laughs and wind..and all that kinda stuff....to freak her out..after she said she was going to suck my blood dry....so ya....i had a shit loads of fun!!...and i still am...i dont feel like ive gotten off the ride yet..bc im still spinning...and it sucks..i want off...im dizy...still.....im dringing rootbeer and eating cheesecake at 1:40 in the morn..woot me!!!...oh and talking to Lisa...

Chris

Music- electronics humming
thought- sims having sex?? hmmm
what goes here again?