im mad...shes with him again....i wish he would leave sooner..hes the only person who pisses me off this bad...anyways..i drove down to the park..to jacobs later and back to calm down..i had the stupid dog with me...i pulled over and let her out of the car to run around a bit..i was about to load her back up and drive away but a guy pulled up and asked if it was my dog..bc he wanted it...i said no..and gave her to him....his own big mistake..im happy..the dog is gone....but im still overly pissed...ill talk to her about it later if she even wants to talk....im not just going to drop it

i had a weird dream last night, Cecilia drove to school and we decided to skip..so somehow i guess we ended up on a parking garage with a bunch of other ppl skipping, she got a call on her cell phone about having to pick up her cousin..so she said she had to go..and i asked her if she would be coming back..and she said no she couldnt, then i asked her if she could take me back to school bc it was still first period she said she couldnt..and i asked what was the point in skipping if we werent going to do anything fun...she shrugged her shoulders and left me on a parking garage miles away from school...with a bunch of weirdos..it was a weird dream..very weird..i found it weird enough to put on here..doent sound weird..but the way it looked...was...anyways..i went to school today and didnt skip i never do without permission lol...well i saw Cecilia whom i love so dearly..she looked beautiful as ever...i had fun...thats all for now...C+C

I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!I love her!!
MORE AND MORE EVERYDAY DAMNIT I LOVE HER!!! C+C

this week at school has been awesome!..my spring break kinda sucked though except for the first and last day..when i saw Cecilia, the last day i was talking to her online and she said she had to go....so i said bye...and 5 mins later, she shows up at my house, and i forgot all about spring break..i was happy, just as happy as the first time we kissed...i had the feeling all over again...i went from depressed to hyper in a short glance outside!...i was happy really really damn happy....spending the time with her on the couch..just being together was great....monday i was supposed to meet her at school at 7 but got there at 7:50, she helped me put the flags up and we sat and talked for a while, later that afternoon we went on a triple date to see the ring 2..it was Cecilia, me, Sarah, Raul, Diana and Martin. i had fun...lots of fun, tuesday i had school and saw Cecilia yet again! i love seeing her everyday, she told me over and over and over how much she loved me...it made me feel great...we had about 20 people telling us to get a room..today my morning sucked and when i go to school around 8:15 she wasnt there..and that got me a lil depressed, but she showed up about 3 mins before the bell and made me happy again!! she was testing for the next 2 periods so i didnt see her....then at lunch we had tater tots thrown at us..and had a small food fight that was fun as hell!!....we had 4th period and made fun of the substitue and talked about what we wanted to do on friday....during 5th period we switched bags and i drew something and wrote in her diary and then traded back with her bc i missed my book...after school..we gave our hugs and kisses and said goodbye...i love that girl! shes so damn perfect, better then anyone i have ever dated....when i say i love her..i mean it...she gives me a feeling no one ever has...and the best part of it all is that she feels the same way for me, i want a future with her, i want to be with her always..im never going to leave her....i do love her from head to toe, mind body and soul, i think..she was the one meant for me...my soulmate  

C+C

i ran into cecilia's mom, cousin and rafa at the mall today...weird.....

Woke up at 7:50 a.m. tried getting online..but it didnt work..Cecilia called 8:10, said she was on her way..waited for her...she got here...we talked...i mowed the lawn..she watched....i took a shower..she waited....we left...went to the dam...went walking ..took a siesta....left...went to eat at chinese place...ate...went to the mall..walked around..went to bank..waited..went to circuit city..used bathroom..she ran and hid...i looked like a weirdo searching for her...verizon wireless lady noticed..and helped..went to barnes and nobles to see if she was there...didnt see her..went back to circuit city..she walked out laughing...we went to movies..saw national treasure....went home...wanted to go to mexico..dad said no...now im here..drinking pepsi..and shes not going either....maybe ill go hiking..if i can get her to come...im bored..playing with blocks.....C+C

Good day, bad day, i dont care...it was good at school...not bad or good when i got home..i had to clean my room and it took me hours....and an extra 20mins bc i got stuck under my bed....its clean though...im wearing all black tomarrow.....ummm....Cecilia and i skipped class and went to the library to hang out and talk about random stuff that was on our minds that we needed to work out....she says love doesnt exist...so i wrote out an equation

Love=heaven
heaven=hell
hell=life

if theres no love theres no heaven, hell or life..so..what are we?....theres nothing on the other side of the ='s, but Cecilia's answer was just what i wanted.....Nothing....
i like it how we think alike...alot..its weird and creepy, but i like it.....she decided to ripp out my arm hairs..and i quit making the ouch noise after a while and she just stopped...my arm is still red though, after the talk she seemed a little happier and after school we played around and boxed each other...i kicked her ass...muahahahaha...she will probably kick mine tomarrow when i dont expect it...i miss hanging out with her....its so much fun...we feel asleep on the couch friday night for about 30 mins..while my sister andher bf were in her room sleeping...then i took her home......ive heard so much crap this weekend about her....and found out so many things i would rather talk to her about then anyone else..we worked it out...we are happy....her and her fat drinks are taking a nap right now...........at 10..i call that sleeping....anyways..im going to go take a "nap" now..
C+C

im sitting here bored...i just got done playing pool with Cecilia...i will most likely be grounded after tomarrow so i wont be on for a while..my weekend has had its ups and downs...i went to military ball with Cecilia and had a great time..just got done fighting with my dad over the phone..the thinks i challanged him, bc i told him he didnt know shit about me or what i think, he said when he got home he would kick my ass up and down the yard and all that, he said something like " you think your dumbass step dad hurt david? your going to wish you were david when i get through with you..." yea...it doesnt scare me...i dont care...ill just leave and be done with it...i hate this place anyways, i already have someone who's offered me a place to stay if i leave, i could use this to my advantage when i move out, i didnt do shit today..i sat home all day bored, i heard about a party but had no way to get there...ill be bored tomarrow..but a slight richer...but im going to do my best to save it up...incase i decided to become a bum.....id live close to school..and wash my clothes in the river and hang them on the bridge...and hang out with my hobo buddies, and talk about..umm..which garbage bags hold more cans....and that kinda stuff..the stuff that really matters...i just cant wait until i get out of here....today i realized why i hate my family, its bc of my dad's genes...my brother abused me and my sister bc of my dads influence and his dna..i realized it today when my dad threatened me...it sounded exactly how david would have said it, and me i always assume things..which i hate, im blamed for everything in my house bc my dad assumes it was me...he came into the laundry room the other day and blamed me for something that happend to the stove while i was outside washing the car....i swear he tries to start cussing wars or something...i thought it was stupid when he said " i can fucking cuss better then you can fucking cuss"...the first thing i thought was "yea..your fucking stupid you fucking moron" he always asks the question "do you think your smarter then me?" like it means anything...i knwo i have more common sence then him....im going to move out and change my last name or something as soon as i get my license and a car..im gone...ill live in my car if i have to...just as long as im gone....by the way....Happy birthday diana, and happy 1 month Cecilia, i love you, but i hate life....my family is the brownie in the batch that went bad.........C+C

This weekend has sucked....all thanks to one person...the bitch...not my stepmom....but the one at school..ive been so damn bored..i want to run myself over with the car i just washed bc my dad said i nothing better to do then wash it... yesterday i had steel ambassador stuff..and our bus hit a bbq pit so we sat there for an hour....im pissed...alot....i have nothing to do..no where to go......im not used to this anymore...i had so much fun with Cecilia........this is worse then hell...i talk to her...but then she just has to go or leave....or something...then i cant say what i want to say because of her cousin.....its all alot of bullshit to me...i just cant wait until tomarrow..when school takes over half my day..and ill have something to do until i get home....then i just sucks again....i cant wait until its all over......im going to go put the car in neutral and lay in front of it...C+C

i hate sick and twisted people who try to break up a perfectly good relationship for no reason, i was happy..she was happy, what the hell was their problem? jealous? of what? i just hope they soon realized what the fuck they just did...now we must wait 3 months.........................C+C

This week has gone by fast, Cecilia came over last night, and drew a tattoo on my arm...its not done yet...my dad found a hickie...and ihave scratch marks down my chest, and i love it all...shes picking me up today after school and we are going to go see constintine..or however you spell it, we saw phantom of the opera the wensday night and we loved it..i think ill get her the movie for her birthday...she tells me she doesnt want me to go to any war and that she doesnt want me to leave,...i love to insure her that im not going to a war because im not joining the military, and if the draft comes back....we are moving to canada or mexico..either one...but i do like pancakes...so maybe canada........ im extremely happy now that i have her, this is the best relationship ive ever had.....we always think the same thing, like doing the same stuff, its incredible, i dotn know about her..but i think fate has a hand in this...its just tooo....perfect....C+C

yay..ive had a great week since Cecilia and i started dating...its been extremely fun and eventfull, from watching stars under candlelight in my room, to watching people get busted in cameron park, driving around headed to no preticular place, going to the movies, hanging out with scott and the girlfriend he doesnt like so much, and getting pulled over on waco drive and meeting her mother for the first time while laughing for no reason, all in all it was a good week...her mom reminds me of my grandma...from what i hear her mom likes me...she wanted to go celebrate Cecilia's first speeding ticket...it was excellent

just now realizing that the conversation the other night, just meant that i was nothing to her anymore....just another guy....its depressing really......i went from a hot fling 3 times...to a nothing in a few months....im starting to think i have a better relationship with her dogs then i do with her anymore...its been going downhill...and i feel guilty bc i think im trying to make her feel like crap for making me feel taht way about every choice i make...there has got to be some emotion left in her for me...after all she did scream , throw a fit and hang up when i told her i wanted to move back to arkansas....i asked her about it the other night and got no responce so i just got up..and wrote my last entry....and went to bed depressed and deep in thought..i have been for a while now.....im still wondering what it is i like about her..i havent found it yet...i know its not the screaming and the disrespectful comments towards her mom, who i think rocks....and is in no way insane.....anyways....shes pissed at me for wondering why she was being a complete bitch most of the day....i didnt help much with all my smartass comments....she always has to bring up max and matt which she knows i hate it when she does that and she knows it makes me jealous, but does it on purpose...im wondering what she wants out of me.... i know her too well to know she wouldnt keep me around for nothing

i honestly didnt want to sit here and listen to her explain how someone else is flushing what i have always wanted down the toilet, im jealous, and i just want it, but i know i cant have it, i have no purpose anymore, i just wish the old times would come back, i miss the way it used to be, when i was the one flushing my dreams down the toilet...

went to lisa's after school yesterday, hung out, when on a walk with tif almost got attacked by a 69 yr old man and then went home in the middle of the night. woke up, went to the mall with scott met new ppl, met a girl named Kaitlin,shes cute, and Riana, Amy, Jen, and 2 other girls hung out with scott, got called a manwhore by Laura now im here waiting for scott being gripped at by my dad for leaving so late.

Well im still in Arkansas and having a blast!! i miss ppl at home though and my dog, anyways i have had a rockin week i spent most of my time with Samantha! i think the only time i didnt see her was when she had to leave for a bit and thats about it, today's my last day, im sitting in the choir room of my old school just chillaxin the office said i wasnt allowed to be here so i decided to stay anyways, i have lost and gained a few things since i have been here, i need food..i think i will go eat at mcdonalds, my second mcdonalds meal in over a year, after this period im going home, then ill see sam at 4 30 when she gets out of band practice..then im going home tomarrow morning. im going to miss her, i told her i would be back to see her as soon as i could,...so yea...im hungry and bored, see you when i get home i guess

List of ppl possibly coming to my party:

Lisa
Angel
Zoe
Reena
Tyler
Kb
Jose
Jes
Nik
Hazen
Scott
Vana
Sarah
Mary
Richard
Erin
Hope
Rob
Emily
Diana
Martin
Bri
Angela


boy i forgot some...but alot are going to the concert so i dunno...if you wanna come msg me

umm..this weekend in my life..i um..didnt do anything friday..saturdy i spent 7 hours at the mall.then went to lisas..came home..went to church with Reena on sunday..came home and now im here