[General]'s diary

460988  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-01-01
Written: (7080 days ago)

Step by step, heart to heart, left right left
We all fall down...

[Chorus]
Step by step, heart to heart, left right left
We all fall down like toy soldiers
Bit by bit, torn apart, we never win
But the battle wages on for toy soldiers

[Verse 1]
I'm supposed to be the soldier who never blows his composure
Even though I hold the weight of the whole world on my shoulders
I am never supposed to show it, my crew ain't supposed to know it
Even if it means goin' toe to toe with a Benzino it don't matter
I'd never drag them in battles that I can handle unless I absolutely have to
I'm supposed to set an example
I need to be the leader, my crew looks for me to guide 'em
If some shit ever just pop off, I'm supposed to be beside 'em
Now Ja said "I tried to squash it, it was too late to stop it"
There's a certain line you just don't cross and he crossed it
I heard him say Hailie's name on a song and I just lost it
It was crazy, this shit be way beyond some Jay-z and Nas shit
And even though the battle was won, I feel like we lost it
I spent too much energy on it, honestly I'm exhausted
And I'm so caught in it I almost feel I'm the one who caused it
This ain't what I'm in hip-hop for, it's not why I got in it
That was never my object for someone to get killed
Why would I wanna destroy something I help build
It wasn't my intentions, my intentions was good
I went through my whole career without ever mentionin' Suge
Now it's just out of respect for not runnin' my mouth
And talkin' about something that I knew nothing about
Plus Dre told me stay out, this just wasn't my beef
So I did, I just fell back, watched and gritted my teeth
While he's all over t.v. down talkin' a man who literally saved my life
Like fuck it i understand this is business
And this shit just isn't none of my business
But still knowin' this shit could pop off at any minute cuz

[Chorus]

[Verse 2]
There used to be a time when you could just say a rhyme
And wouldn't have to worry about one of your people dyin'
But now it's elevated cuz once you put someone's kids in it
The shit gets escalated, it ain't just words no more is it?
It's a different ball game, callin' names and you ain't just rappin'
We actually tried to stop the 50 and Ja beef from happenin'
Me and Dre had sat with him, kicked it and had a chat with him
And asked him not to start it he wasn't gonna go after him
Until Ja started yappin' in magazines how we stabbed him
Fuck it 50 smash 'em, mash 'em and let him have it
Meanwhile my attention is pullin' in other directions
Some receptionist at The Source who answers phones at his desk
Has an erection for me and thinks that I'll be his ressurection
Tries to blow the dust off his mic and make a new record
But now he's fucked the game up cuz one of the ways I came up
Was through that publication the same one that made me famous
Now the owner of it has got a grudge against me for nothin'
Well fuck it, that motherfucker can get it too, fuck him then
But I'm so busy being pissed off I don't stop to think
That we just inherited 50's beef with Murder Inc.
And he's inherited mine which is fine ain't like either of us mind
We still have soldiers that's on the front line
That's willing to die for us as soon as we give the orders
Never to extort us, strictly to show they support us
We'll maybe shout 'em out in a rap or up in a chorus
To show them we love 'em back and let 'em know how important it is
To have Runyan Avenue, soldiers up in our corners
Their loyalty to us is worth more than any award is
But I ain't tryna have none of my people hurt and murdered
It ain't worth it, I can't think of a perfecter way to word it
Then to just say that I love ya'll too much to see the virdict
I'll walk away from it all before I let it go any further
But don't get it twisted, it's not a plea that I'm coppin'
I'm just willin' to be the bigger man
If ya'll can quit poppin' off at your jaws with the knockin'
Cuz frankly I'm sick of talkin'
I'm not gonna let someone elses coffin rest on my conscience cuz

[Chorus]

460982  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-01-01
Written: (7080 days ago)

Heaven's A Lie

Oh no,
here it is again
I need to know
when I will fall in decay

Something wrong
with every plan of my life
I didn't really notice that you've been here

Dolefully desired
Destiny of a lie

Set me free
your heaven's lie
set me free with you love
set me free

Oh no,
here it is again
I need to know
why did I choose to betray you

Something wrong
with all the plans of my life
I didn't realize that you've been here

Dolefully desired
Destiny of a lie

Set me free
your heaven's lie
set me free with you love
set me free

Set me free your heaven's lie
set me free with you love
set me free

460002  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2004-12-31
Written: (7081 days ago)

Yeah
I am home now, home now
I've been waiting for forever to find you, to find you
I'm not alone now, alone now
Cuz you've taken in my heart from the cold
All I know is every time I look into your eyes I'm home, I know

You're where I belong
I belong with you
You're where I belong
And I know it's the truth
You're part of my heart
There's nothing I can do
Oh you're the one who keeps me warm
My baby you're where I belong

You're my first taste, first taste
Of the sweetest feeling I've ever known, that I've known
You're my safe place, my safe place
From a world that can be so cruel and cold
You're my harbor, you're my shelter, you're that welcome smile
That lets me know I'm home

You're where I belong
I belong with you
You're where I belong
And I know it's the truth
You're part of my heart
There's nothing I can do
Oh you're the one who keeps me warm
My baby you're where I belong

459999  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2004-12-31
Written: (7081 days ago)

Any moment, everything can change,
Feel the wind on your shoulder,
For a minute, all the world can wait,
Let go of your yesterday.

Can you hear it calling?
Can you feel it in your soul?
Can you trust this longing?
And take control,

Fly
Open up the part of you that wants to hide away
You can shine,
Forget about the reasons why you can't in life,
And start to try, cause it's your time,
Time to fly.

All your worries, leave them somewhere else,
Find a dream you can follow,
Reach for something, when there's nothing left,
And the world's feeling hollow.

Can you hear it calling?
Can you feel it in your soul?
Can you trust this longing?
And take control,

Fly
Open up the part of you that wants to hide away
You can shine,
Forget about the reasons why you can't in life,
And start to try, cause it's your time,
Time to fly.

And when you're down and feel alone,
Just want to run away,
Trust yourself and don't give up,
You know you better than anyone else,

Any moment, everything can change,
Feel the wind on your shoulder,
For a minute, all the world can wait,
Let go of yesterday,

Fly
Open up the part of you that wants to hide away
You can shine,
Forget about the reasons why you can't in life,
And start to try,
Fly
Forget about the reasons why you can't in life,
And start to try, cause it's your time,
Time to fly.

Any moment, everything can change.

459987  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2004-12-31
Written: (7081 days ago)

I hurt: [All the time.]
I want: [Someone.]
I hate: [My entire life.]
I cry: [When someone I love is lost.]
I fear: [Losing everyone I've come to know.]
I hope: [He'll accept me one day, so he can save me from destruction.]
I feel alone: [When he's not around to hug.]
I waste: [My time on wishing for something I know I'll never have.]
I talk: [Too little. This is why noone knows the real me.]
I break: [My heart for him. I break down before him.]
I watch: [Myself slowly die away.]
I remember: [Every single piece of pain I've endured.]
I sleep with: [Lies of things people do not mean. The pain on which kills me from the inside.]
I hide: [From the world, so they cannot find me.]
I drive: [Myself into insanity.]
I burn: [My heart, my faith, myself.]
I breathe: [The essence of Death.]
I miss: [The happiness I once held.]
I feel: [Nothing but pain run throughout me.]
I know: [Only pain.]
I dream: [To be happy once again, if he can save me.]
I await: [The chance to be held in warm arms.]
I live: [To see another day of pain.]
I die: [When he does not accept me.]

459740  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2004-12-30
Written: (7082 days ago)

Roses are Red
Roses are red and
Violets are blue
Honey is sweet, but not as sweet as you
Roses are red and
Violets are blue

Ah di da did mud
Ah di da did mud

Dum di da di da
Dum di da di da
Dum di da di da

Dum di da di da
Dum di da di da
Dum di da di da

Come pick my Roses!

Sweet from the flowers,
honey from the bees
I've got a feeling, I'm ready to release
Roses are red and
Violets are blue
Honey is sweet,
but not as sweet as you

It's invisible, but so touchable and,
I can feel it on my body,
so emotional
I'm on a ride, on a ride
I'm a passenger
I'm a victim of a hot love messenger

Dum di da di da
Dum di da di da
Dum di da di da
The only thing he said was
Dum di da di da
Dum di da di da
Dum di da di da
And roses are red

Come with me baby,
Please fulfill my wish
Show it to me truly,
Show me with a kiss
Roses are red and
Violets are blue
Honey is sweet,
but not as sweet as you
It's invisible but, so touchable
And I can feel it on my body,
so emotional
I'm on a ride, on a ride
I'm a passenger
I'm a victim of a hot love messenger

Dum di da di da
Dum di da di da
Dum di da di da
The only thing he said was
Dum di da di da
Dum di da di da
Dum di da di da
And roses are red

(Come and...)/Dum di da di da
(Come and...)/Dum di da di da
(Come and...)/Dum di da di da
The only thing you said was
(Come and...)/Dum di da di da
(Come and...)/Dum di da di da
Haaa dit a ditn wat

Dum di da di da
Dum di da di da
Dum di da di da
Dum di da di da
Don't take my roses awaaaay!

Dum di da di da
Dum di da di da
Dum di da di da
The only thing he said was
Dum di da di da
Dum di da di da
Dum di da di da
And roses are red..

(Come and..)/Dum di da di da
(Come and..)/Dum di da di da
(Come and..)/Dum di da di da
The only thing you said was
(Come and..)/Dum di da di da
(Come and..)/Dum di da di da
(Come and..)/Dum di da di da
My roses are red..
oooh oooh oooh, yeah!

Haaa dit a ditn wat
Haaa dit a ditn wat
-------------
*Hums*

459737  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2004-12-30
Written: (7082 days ago)

Little Princess in a terrible mess,
A Kingdom alone with no love to confess,
Dreams of a prince on a tall white horse,
Runs like the spirit by the castle walls.

[Gotta steal from the rich when they don't know I'm comin'
Gotta give to the poor, no time for lovin'
My oh my, don't you cry, 'cause there's no way I'm stayin'
I will leave, say "bye bye", I'm going my way...
]

Mystery deep in the royal heart
Crying at night, I wanna be apart
Prince, oh prince, are you really sincere?
Bet you one day you're gonna disappear

[Gotta steal from the rich when they don't know I'm comin'
Gotta give to the poor, no time for lovin'
My oh my, don't you cry, 'cause there's no way I'm stayin'
I will leave, say "bye bye", I'm going my way...
]
--------------------------
*Sigh* Painful, No?


456717  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2004-12-27
Written: (7085 days ago)

Can you see me now?
Can you see me now?

All this weeping in the air
Who can tell where it will fall?
Through floating forests in the air
'Cross the rolling open sea

Blow a kiss, I run through air
Leave the past, find nowhere
Floating forests in the air
Clowns all around you

Clowns that only let you know
Where you let your senses go
Clowns all around you
It's a cross I need to bear

All this black and cruel despair
This is an emergency
Don't you hide your eyes from me
Open them and see me now

Can you see me now?
Can you see me now?

Can you see?
Can you see?
See me here in the air
Not holding on to anywhere
But holding on so beware
I have secrets I won't share

See me here pushing you
If I then deny I do
Contemplate or wish away
If I ask you not to stay

Clowns that only let you know
Where you let your senses go
Clowns all around you
It's a cross I need to bear

All this black and cruel despair
This is an emergency
Don't you hide your eyes from me
Open them and see me now
---------------------------------------------
Can you see now, what you've done to me, Spike?

454868  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2004-12-25
Written: (7087 days ago)
Next in thread: 455878

"From The Inside"

I don’t know who to trust no surprise
(Everyone feels so far away from me)
Heavy thoughts sift through dust and the lies
(Trying not to break but I’m so tired of this deceit)
(Every time I try to make myself get back up on my feet)
(All I ever think about is this)
(All the tiring time between)
(And how trying to put my trust in you just takes so much out of me)

[Chorus]
Take everything from the inside and throw it all away
Cuz I swear for the last time I won’t trust myself with you

Tension is building inside steadily
(Everyone feels so far away from me)
Heavy thoughts forcing their way out of me
(Trying not to break but I’m so tired of this deceit)
(Every time I try to make myself get back up on my feet)
(All I ever think about is this)
(All the tiring time between)
(And how trying to put my trust in you just takes so much out of me)

[Chorus]
Take everything from the inside and throw it all away
Cuz I swear for the last time I won’t trust myself with you

I won’t waste myself on you
You
You
Waste myself on you
You
You

I’ll take everything from the inside and throw it all away
Cuz I swear for the last time I won’t trust myself with you

Everything from the inside and just throw it all away
Cuz I swear for the last time I won’t trust myself with you
You
You
-------------------------
"Easier To Run"

It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone

Something has been taken from deep inside of me
The secret I've kept locked away no one can ever see
Wounds so deep they never show they never go away
Like moving pictures in my head for years and years they've played

(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(If I could take all the shame to the grave I would)
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(I would take all my shame to the grave)

[Chorus]
It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone

Sometimes I remember the darkness of my past
Bringing back these memories I wish I didn't have
Sometimes I think of letting go and never looking back
And never moving forward so there'd never be a past

(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(If I could take all the shame to the grave I would)
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(I would take all my shame to the grave)

Just washing it aside
All of the helplessness inside
Pretending I don't feel misplaced
It's so much simpler than change

[Chorus]
It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone

It's easier to run
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made)
It's easier to go
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(I would take all my shame to the grave)
-----------------------------
Hurt..Hurt...So very hurt... *She retreated into a corner, and held back tears...*

239331  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2004-05-31
Written: (7296 days ago)

Dear diary,
Hello, it's me again. Well, I'm sure I can tell you what's happened in the fast two days. I had a huge arguement with Spike (someone I love) and....He made me cry. I then listened to "E-mail my heart/Britney Spears", "Stronger/Britney Spears", and "From the Bottom of my Broken heart/Britney Spears". Those songs made me cry even more, because I thought I'd lose him. He means everything to me.

239328  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2004-05-30
Written: (7296 days ago)

Another entry! Yes! this is...a poem..I wrote...about Death <.<;; And Yeah...It's..................Depressing....kinda.....But that's how I feel! Soooo Sue me.
>.>
"Death, when will it come? Will it come in my sleep? Will it come unto me? Oh Death, you used to frighten me. But I have surpassed you. I now only fear of you taking those I love. Oh Death, Death come unto me. I know it is my blood you seek, so come. I walk through your garden of blackened and blood stained roses, as I search for you. Here! Here is my blood! I have been waiting for you, Death. Why won't you come? Time is running longer, but my patience is running thin. Oh Death, I will wait"

203995  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2004-04-24
Written: (7332 days ago)
Next in thread: 204953

Hmmm Lets see v.v *thinks* Ah! Yessum!

I wil execute great vengeance upon them with furious rebukes; and they shall know that I -am- the Lord, when I lay my vengenange upon them
Ezkiel 25:17

.....Taken vengeance with a dispiteful heart, to destroy it for the old hatred.
Ezkiel 25:15


No...I'm not Mormon, Catholic or part of any religion. I got that out of the Bible 'cause a friend of mine said I should read it. And I did it, and I found it really cool :)

*bounces around* ^^

Bai bai ^.^ v

180391  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2004-03-29
Written: (7358 days ago)
Next in thread: 180442

Hello! Again! I'm writting...yay...lol

*I drive all the way to the White House. I sneak into Pres. Bush's room, and pull a Silencer out of my jacket. Suddenly I hear footsteps and take cover. The President's guards check for any sign of anything suspsious, when they find nothing, they take leave. I got back to the President, and point the Silencer at Bush's head. Then suddenly, Bush gets out and we Kung-Fu battle. I win and assaninate the President. I drive off in my Cadailac and speed of towards where I live.*

*Next day as I watch the news, I hear of the president's assaination, and the Veto of the law surpassing that gays can't get married....THEY CAN BE MARRIED AGAIN!*

*Wakes up in bed* "Oh damn..it was only a dream" *sighs*
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
*proudly wears a badge* Pure Supporter of Gay Marriages.
^^

160038  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2004-03-06
Written: (7381 days ago)
Next in thread: 160955

Here is a sample of a letter I would write to Bush:

Dear President Bush,
    Hello, I am an 8th grade student at South Davis Junior high, but the reason I am sending you this letter has nothing to do with school. The reason is thus of the gay marriages. Yes, you are the President, and have certain powers, but you have absolutely NO RIGHT stopping gay marriages. We the people of the United States are entitled to our own rights, you have no power what-so-ever to bring a stop to this. It's almost like putting a stop to a religion, which you CANNOT do. The gay people should have EVERY right to get married, just like the straight people! Heck, would you ban the right for me to marry my dog? No, I don't think so, and like I said before, you have absolutely no right to ban gays from getting married, they are humans and should be treated like one! They have their own rights on which you cannot destroy! I demand you lift the Law against gays getting married! They should have every single right to get married when they want, where they want, and how they want, you can't rule over mankind, and love is NOT just between a man and woman, it can be between woman and woman or man and man, you don't make love, the people do, so, I again demand that you lift the law.
              Sincerely,
                 Sabrina "Angel" C.

158441  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2004-03-04
Written: (7383 days ago)
Next in thread: 158442

Gah, x.x;;
"Lo! Death has reared himself a throne
In a strange city lying alone
Far down within the dim West,
Where the good and t bad and the worst and the best
Have gone to their eternal rest.
There thrines and palaces and towers
(Time-eaten owers that tremble not!)
Resemble nothing there is ours.
Around, bo lifting winds forgot,
Resignefly beneath the ski
The melacholy waters lie...."- Edgar Allan Poe.

*beats Bush in the head......again......* >:)
lol

158180  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2004-03-04
Written: (7383 days ago)
Next in thread: 158226, 158231

Gah!!! x.x;;;; *beats Bush in the head with a dead cow* DIE DIE DIE!! HOW DARE YOU BAN GAYS FROM GETTING MARRIED!!! THEY SHOULD BE HAPPY!!! *beats Bush again* Grrrr...Stupid piece of horse crap!! *coughs* Ahem...anyway...I think it's retarded that Bush banned gays from being married, they're humans! WE HAVE EQUAL RIGHTS!! IF STRAIGHT PEOPLE CAN GET MARRIED, THEN GAYS SHOULD BE ABLE TO GET MARRIED AS WELL!!!...............ahem......Sorry about that....That's just my opinion >.>;;

157287  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2004-03-03
Written: (7384 days ago)

I'm..listening to a weird song....It's called In Da Tub by 50 Bent....yes...weird..I know... >.>;;

156879  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2004-03-02
Written: (7385 days ago)

I'm at school at the moment >.> I'm bored lol. :^P well, gotta go for now! bai!!

154368  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2004-02-28
Written: (7388 days ago)

*yawns* I just woke up, I think I'll go and role play at http://geocities.com/bakaneko29/index.html heehee.
My hyperness is all gone ;.; lol ^_^ Eh heh....whee! G'day now! ^^

153964  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2004-02-27
Written: (7388 days ago)

*bounces around* I'm so hyper right now >.>.....<.<..I was walking home..and and and....I said to my friends "Ima go home, get hyper and type real fast" And my friend thought I said "Ima a go home, get high and grab my ass"
o.O.........-^_^- Eh heh heh >.> *runs around in circles* bai bai now!
*runs into a pole and KO's herself* *anime swirly eyes*

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