I have officialy been enrolled in the Associats in design program at the art institute online! I will be learning how to actualy create art for once! So happy.

In further journies I have returned to this place of what is seemingly a collection of past life memories. Destra has explained that it is better to focus on the now and what could be rather than the ghosts of the past. So deeper now past the chamber and its' ancient secrets to a corridor deep in the castle. There a tunnel I found with water on each side of a walkway, cells of somekind lined the walls as far as the ey could see. And I progressed for some time befor seeing light. Through the opening I found a garden on the side of a hill. As it leveled out there was a beach and a lake. The lake had an island in the middle of it and a cloud hung over the the tower that was on the island. On the beach there were people I did not know personaly, on one side they were digging and the other they were resting and playing. They did not see me. And then there was a boat on the river stones near me. I rowed it across the lake to the island. There there was people again and they were creating varias works of art and engaged in learning. They could see me and they recognized me. The men who instructed them had on robes of white and had great wings. They called me Soa and explainded that these were the souls returning to live in the world. And I saw at the back of the island a rod iron gate that was overgrown with ivy. Beyond was a city that I was not ready to enter. I returned to the world and was confused at what I had seen.

Hello again, Diary. After this initial visitation She has come as a pale woman in black flowing gowns and shrowded in a black cloak. She is strikingly beautiful and stoic, I am alurred by her pressence and power. All women should carry such and be the greatness of there nature. In the field I saw her above the ground and befor a great tree that had replaced the Goddess. It's boughs reached above the sky and it's girth was magnificent. As I approached there was a door at the tree's base and apon it were symbols, each representing me in some way, eched into the wood. I went inside. Inside was a small home with shelves and cubbordes, in a right mess and in the back an iron gate with crates behind it. And through there was a set of spiral stairs decending. At the bottom I had found an open place with a dirt floor. Opposite the stairs a set of broad, flat stairs (3 or 4) lead up to a grand iron door. Upon the door was carved the image of the great wheel, much like the tarot card. And it came to life and began to turn as I gazed at it. In it I could see the seasons, the moon's phases, the ages, growth and death, and the aging of men. So when it had finished a full cycle the door opened and I could see beyond. A chamber, gothic and arching in sharp angles, filled with an assortment of objects. This place was huge and full of dust and webs, and oddly familiar. I entered and scanned the room with careful attention. The objects were a collection of things such as rugs from distant lands, preserved organs and odd creatures, baskets of cloth, furniture, books, and so many other things. Too numerous to take in all at once. And a curious few items caught my attention. A sword and a set of furrs. I went and stod by them, I could not help but put the furrs over my shoulders. Then I picked up the sword and a rapture of vision took me. I was taken to a hillside in the rain. I sat atop a grey horse and was vested in the furrs and leather armors. Beside me I could see many men, both mounted and on foot, all full of fear and anger, staring down the undulating hillside terrain. And at the base there was a legion of what was unmistakebly roman soldiers. I lead the charge down into battle and there was savage fighting. The shock of it sent me back to the chamber and I retreated from the whole experience.

Today I start my new series of entries in my diery. This will be a succession of dreams, visions and spiritual journies that I experience. Hope this turns out to be something worth sharing.
 To start; This begins with a vision/trance years ago that is relavent to everything else that has happened. In a state of desperation, in prison, I cried out to "GOD". In full need and trust. And over me fell a power, dark and solid. And to a field of short grass I was wisked. There was a hill in the middle of this field and a small pool of water beside it. Atop this gnoll was a great and terrable woman. Hair dark and bold, eyes dark pools that held the expanse of the univers. Her skin was pale white and smooth, fair and perfect. She was with child and below her hips, where her legs should have been, were thick roots covered in thorns. There was green fruits among the brambles. All these things stricking and filling my soul with wonder. On her back were Great wings, one black and leathery, the other with feathers and white as a dove. About her was a power that crippled me and I could feel the power of making and unmaking. That with but a thought this being could destroy me should she see fit. I loved her and could love come from her that I could not have imagined in waking life. I was peralyzed and in rapture. The sky was filled with thunder and rain and wind, I could not feel it but only see it. And she pointed to the pool beside the hill, within the blink of an eye I was there at the pool without moving. I could see my reflection in the water and hers behind me. The black waters pulled at me and I surrendered to that pull. Into the water I did not struggle and through a tunnel to a light I traveled. There there was a grate and beyond was the world. And into sleep and dreams I fell. For all this had happened befor the weight of sleep came to me. In my mind echoed the words; Eladra, Innana, Ishtar, Destra, Morganna. And the next day I was awash with a peace and acceptance that I had never felt befor. It has lasted many years and with this one as my guide I have been lead to great learning and intuition. The fates have turned a favorable eye to me and events in my life. I am made awake and whole. She has reminded me of the strength I led myself to believe that I never had.
 As above so below above and beyond I imagine Drawn beyond the lines of reason, push the envelope watch it bend. So much more that beckons me to these infinite possabilities. Black and white are all I see in my infantcy, red and yellow the came to me reaching out to me, lets me see (very appropriate tool lyrics).

Ladies and gentle men, I am sure you all have questions about what happened and where I stand. I am open to your questions and coments. Things are good for me and I will be posting new things and hoping to participate in contests. I've come so far as a person and an artist, hope you all find what has become of me to be interesting and creatively inspiring.

Well everybody, guess whos back? MelaigN himself. And how I have missed you all so much! I want to thank elftown for keeping me here and defending me. I thank my best friend Sauron for being the brother that he is. Everybody is so great. My long and rediculous detainment is over and I will be back for good. There is much to share and much to make up for lost time. I love elftown and I love everyone of my friends (in a clearly platonic way: said for the sake of those who may wish to misrepresent my intentions). Glad to be back!!!!!!!

Another season of life settles on this wayward soul. Another year of choices and events that shape the heart or feed the flame of anger. Bounding ever forward with reckless abandon. I pray the winds fill my sails full and carry my vessle to the shores of a land of green fields and trees of wild fruits, red and gold.
Where my mind finds silence, my soul peace and my heart,the eternal healing spring of love that doesn't judge. A place close to the Gods that love humanity not for any qualities but for it's original nature. That special aspect that time holds mystery in the vaults of our subconsience. I hope to see all my friends and allies in the glades of strange trees dancing to the music of subtle peace and as the suns fingers caress our skin. Hope I call this place, when I find it, I will stay.............
LOve without end
Paul Bennett

Some of us in here are lovers
Others of us are killers
Would you comfort me
In my time of need?

Tell me that the world is one
That we all look out for everyone
Not number one,
Sharing all and reaching out?

Some of us are dreamers
and otheres are fires
Burning down what is
precious to me.

Tell me that i'm nieve
That you are so much better
Giving up and fitting in
Force a smile and choke it down

I'd give it all away to see you weak
cause weak is strong and inocent
I'd carry your cross id i could
Burry my bones next to your's

Tell me that you love me
That i can die to save your life
Do i have to shed my blood
to wash your eyes that you might see

Empty me

MelaigN

I'm bored in here
The walls are cold
No one here to hold
Everything so unclear

Down to the bottom and back again
Wither in thought, suffering
Open my self to the great unkown
Here i beg make yourself shown

Most high: Deliver me
Most high: surrendering
Most high: Forever inside me

rebuilding me, revealing hope,fiving deep i know
Did you knoe, we are one, opening
Making new, everything. Could this be, just my luck
Fighting for.... nothing left, I have it all..

Melaign