Geeeeezzzzzeeeeeesssssss i feel like iv run over by a truck that reversed and decided to park on me.
As much as the Lake District was beautiful and the weather was rather forgiving (only one day of light rain thank the heavens)the blumin exercise we were forced to do was horrific. Can anyone say 'slave driver'
Kayaking, trekking, climbing (which i wimped out on), abseiling, climbing water falls and trekking through rivers in a fucking wet suite when i cant even lift my knee higher then my hip. Imagine it people! 2tops, full body wet suite, jacket, water proof dungarees and water proof jacket. I couldn’t breath and i couldn’t move and they still wanted me to fucking climb. That could nearly be a law suite right there. How the hell i didn’t fall backward off those water falls god knows.
And the first night we went for a midnight walk around one of the lakes, WHAT THE HELL we couldn’t see shit now that’s the point of that!

 As a continual plague of nonsense comes rolling over my brow, drowning my mind in its wake. You know i really do think i THINK too much.
I read the other day about the turmoil of us Over-Thinkers and i can seriously concur .... for all of you Non Over-Thinkers you wont understand the sickening desire to tear out your own brain and stamp on it repeatedly until it resembles something on the lines of road kill (or humus if your really pissed)
To go with the shityness of being an Over-Thinker the gods have decreed i deserve an extra kick in the proverbial backside by making me paranoid to boot!
So as a Paranoid Over-Thinker with trust issues its no wonder im a lill silently fucked up

OMMMMMMGGGGGGGGG
Watch now as I get giddy with words that may lead to being a random ramble that makes no sense.
Bbbbbuuuuuuuuutttttttt I want to tell you all that I have (after many a day searching) found someone I can actually send of my manuscript to (well at least the first three chapters)
Im I getting overly optimistic, I think I am you know but still im not scared to dream and to live my dream and get published OH MY GOD how cooooolllllllllll would that be.
Just thinking of standing there in the printers with the overpowering smell of ink and seeing, right there in front of me. A full book which I had written and poured my heart my head and my dreams into its pages. You know it’s the hardest thing when you start and your sat staring at a blank screen of white, its like looking up at Everest thing ’Jesus how the HELL am I gonna get to the top of this thing’
But when you start and it flows out and the little worlds and the people living in your brain stop fusing you to set them free on the page its just so …so ….. AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH.
I don’t do drugs but, I drink and I drink coffee (allot a coffee) but coffee and writing are my perfect natural highs though how natural both of them too things are is up to you to fathom.

Even if I don’t get anywhere with my books you know I will never forgive myself if I don’t at least try. Some people are meant to sing, act -run god dam countries (however poorly> but that’s for a another type of rant) but I feel in my heart I was meant to write. People are meant to enjoy the weirdness and the adventures in my brain and the many many wonderful and varied characters.

I shall let you know how it goes and if anything good or bad or nothing comes from it.
But all ill ask is that you keep your fingers crossed for me …. Maybe ill write to the pope, his figures being crossed could be lucky.

Well you never know!

THE 10 COMMANDMENTS OF A CHEMICAL ROMANCE


1. Thou shalt not put a gun to thy lover's head.





2. Thou shalt be willing to die for love.





3. Thou shalt seek revenge on those who wrong you





4. Thou shalt be a demolition lover





5. Thou shall unleash the bats





6. Thou shalt protect thy lover from everything (even vampires)





7. Thou shalt respect the lord, Gerard.





8. Thou shalt sing the holy hymns of the chemical romance





9. Thou shalt see beauty in bloody love.





10. Thou shalt rock hard

WAY HAY PEEPS just me .... in school on the comps and noooooo not in lessona being a bad girl its dinner time , speaking of dinner im starving!!!!

iv done another poem WOHOOOOO lol
well all those who aint my buddy cant see unless you take the time to look through my bescription to were iv put them (buds get it easy others dont) ;p