I don't know how to say all this so I'm going to just pour out my thoughts.

First there's my friends. Most of them have turned their back on me. All but a few. A very few. I just finally found out who was just pretending.

Then there's "love."
I am in "love" with this guy lets call him Bob. So different than his real name. He might get a kick out of it though. I love him and I care about him alot. But the thing is we are both in relationships with different people. Silly right? If two people love each other shouldn't they try to be together. I thought that was it but apparently I'm wrong on this subjet just like every other. What is love? Love is a strong positive emotion of regard and affection. Looked it up. But why can't I have what I want when it comes to my personal life? I have no freakin clue. He said he loved me he said he cared. But why is he with her? Yeah. I have a boyfriend too. Not technically though. Not until the 10th. Thats cheap isn't it? Why am I dating Oliver when I don't care about him near as much as my "Bob". God. This is sorta funny.

My past has caught up with me. I thought I could trust one guy in particular here in Indiana and he throws it in my face.
For those who didn't know... I moved from Florida for one reason. To start my life over. Not get pitied on. I hated it. Everyone feeling sorry for me all the time. My mom got a divorce to her ex-husband because of me and my sisters. He did something no father should ever do. I hate him with a passion. I have to go to conseling because of him and through all the money my mom has paid for it I can't forgive him for it. I will never forget what he did. I can't. It's imprinted in my mind.

People have been feeling sorry for me ever since then. If you are one of those people don't bother talking to me ever again. I hate it.

For my friends that actually know exactly what I'm talking about... Erin... Shannon... Sammie... Rocco Ona... Mary Lynn... mostly people in Florida, thank you for helping me through this. I wanted to end all of it many times and you people helped me figure out that I can live above this. Thanks for everything.

-Magen-

I wish my life could end this very second. My mom never is there to listen to me.She ignores me all the time. She never has enough time to listen to me or my feelings. I wish i could die. I hate my life and mostly everyone and everything in it. Don't message me with yuor problems anymore anyone. I'm not a conselor and not your cre-taker so leave me alone.

I was asked out by a sweetheart and god I'm happy! And I think that I'm datin [Your Worse Nightmare]....he asked and I said yeah...

Met this guy! I really like him! He's hot and really sweet! Hope we keep talking! He cheered me up after two ten page reports! Later people!

I think I am in love with this guy. I really do think I am. You know what I know I love this gu. But I moved so it's a distance thing that bothers me. He says he loves me.....what should i do?

Lets see?!?!? Well I got my hair cut yesterday, and I think it looks so much better. It's shorter about my shoulders a little before that. It is soooooooooooo comfy. Well I got highlights too. It looks great. I only got them in the front because the back would have looked really freaked up. Well I'm totally hyped. I miss Stevn, Dessi, David, Jessica, Lara, Lydia, Becky, Danny, Rocco, Anthony, Anthony, Charles, and every one else that is my friends or well I consider them.....I'm really out of it today so excuse it!

Okay this collides with the last entry......sorry about that. But at this moment all guys are rude except a few like ben, stider, and d_vamp.......the ones I truly are upset at know it. Sorry to all guys I don't talk to that read it.

For everyone else that reads this......men are a**holes.....all of them except Ben so far. They don't have the guts to speak their mind or from their heart!