Diary oh diary .. a place to write my rantings.. for some to see or none at all, it matters not to me .. And so I find myself at a cross-roads of sorts, to put it in so cliche of manner.. I know now why or where.. How to start .. Where to go.. What its all for .. or even Why? .. Why .. yes why .. my ode to life a short and simple ... why? .. for what reason? .. It seems so blind to me in front of my face .. There are many people and books which would gladly tell me why.. or how .. but then ends my journey before it even begins.. It is much easier to accept the word or script of another that is known than it is to generate and create to learn and grow in your own mind and world and acceptances of yourself.. Strive beyond the norm where falacies may run rampted, things that your mind screams no.. but what do you know .. what do I know .. of light and dark .. life and death .. beyond your future and before your past.. to search for knowledge .. then knowing what to do with it once it is found .. or even discerning knowledge and wisdom from that which is not.. but some would lead you to believe so.. everyones journey should be their own .. and so I strive to find my beginings.. to start down my own path .. to forge my own future .. to live and waste into obscurity .. who will remember me ? .. a name on a sheet of paper? .. That is not who I am .. I am not my name .. I am not my job .. I work to make meager wealth to buy needs that should be afforded every living thing .. but they are not .. I work to pay another to raise my children .. when it is I who should be there for them.. I work for material goods .. Shiney pretty new things .. but what I wear and what I have is not who I am .. expencive technological things .. but I have more capacity in my own mind and body which is far more complex than any machine built by another like I .. yet I and we still do not know even of the complexities of ourselves... instead we strive to great distances to learn of the external .. instead of looking deep within ourselves.. Such confusions and riddles that not even the best of our scientists can decode.. what creates .. what is .. ahh I banter on and on .. and just spin my head all the more .. I shall leave you and I myself with this tonite ..

humm.. a diary huh.. guess I can write whatever I want in here then.. well dont know much to say .. went shoping today got my kids some summer clothes .. they are in bed now .. had a math quiz .. went out to eat lunch at red lobsters .. had lobster crab legs fried shrip & shrimp scampi.. yumm.. (not an everyday occurance).. and now I am sitting here.. whee.. not really but . eh what ya gonna do??