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I have never felt so low or down before that a sad song that I listen to, could actually mean a lot to me...it is from the Disney Motion Picture, Peter Pan: Return to Neverland.

I'll Try - Jonatha Brookes

I am not a child now.
I can take care of myself.
I mustn't let them down now.
I mustn't let them see me cry.
I'm fine I'm fine.

I'm to tired to listen.
I'm to old to believe.
All these childish stories.
There is no such thing as faith & trust & pixie dust.

I try but its so hard to believe.
I try but I can't see where you see.
I try I try I try.

My whole world is changing.
I don't know where to turn.
I can't leave you waiting.
But I can't stay and watch the city burn.
Ohh watch it burn.

Cause I try but it's so hard to believe.
I try but I can't see where you see.
I try I try.

I try to understand the distance between.
The love I feel the things I fear and every single dream.

I can finally see it.
Now I have to believe all those precious stories.
All the world is made of faith & trust & pixie dust.

So I'll try cause I finally believe.
I'll try cause I can see what you see.
So I'll try I'll try to fly.

Well, I am off to go and try and cheer myself up...got work all day Tuesday to Friday, so I suppose that is something to look forward to *shrugs* Oh well, must continue on with this bitch of a thing called life...

For fucks sakes people get this into your thick heads, Devon, Devonshire and Devonia are all the same place! All very real! So stop saying Devonshire and Devonia are not real, THEY ALL MEAN DEVON!! So before you butt in saying that I am wrong check fucking maps online check histories and all that shit and then come back moaning but until then I will not tolerate people messaging me saying that Devonshire and Devonia aren't real, for the love of God, I live in Devonshire! Which is also known as Devon and Devonia *grumbles*

Okay this is getting out of hand now, this weirdo keeps following me around...

I went into my local Costa coffee cafe yesterday as it was pissing it down with rain and my Chemistry and Psychology lesson was cancelled so I decided to go there for the afternoon as I had nothing better to do other than go to the library and be bored witless and have a load of secondary school children screaming and balling all around me. So anyway as I was saying, I was in costa brought a medium sized hot chocolate and went and sat down, finished off a couple of story plots for The Sharman saga that I am currently writing and began writing another plot from an idea I got during one of my previous psychology lessons talking about schitzophrenia and dreams, so I started writing the plot and this random guy came and asked if he could sit with me, of course me being polite said yes and he sat down but when I looked around the place was practically empty and I noticed he was eyeing my folder with all my Sharman details in, So I asked if he wanted to read what was in the folder he said yes and asked me if I was currently writing up the actual story as he read through the plot and character profiles I had written up (over 300 characters in all), I said yes and he asked to read the plot I was writing and I let him and then he said to me, "How much do you want for this plot and anything else you write for it?" I was shell shocked and said pardon, "I will buy the lot off of you for £1000" he said to me, I said "No way buster this is my plot and anything that goes with it is also mine and if you can't afford the price I would want for it" then he turned around and asked me for an address so that he could contact me as he would like me to write a plot and character profiles and make a complete story profile for him like my Sharman one, so I gave him my college address (not the brightest idea but better than giving my home address) and he left.

Today I went in and he turned up again and I was running late for a lesson and needed a cold drink so I went to get a frescato, he saw me and called me over, I said I am running late and can't talk and ran up to college as quick as I could and went to my lessons, after my last lesson he was waiting for me outside of my classroom and said that he needed to talk to me about me writing the story profile for him, I was like what the f*** I gotta work and ran got my keys and hid in the newsroom...

I think this guy is a bloody stalker or even a murderer 0.o

For anyone who might be interested in roleplaying

The Governments Children

Everyone who is on my msn or yahoo from here, can you f***ing quit bitching to me about the people I go out with as it is none of your f***ing business. If I go out with a person, I like them end of story and I don't give two flying f***s what you think of them! It just gets so old when you keep going on and on saying I should dump someone and then go out with whoever you reccommend it is just bloody pathetic. SO STAY OUT OF MY LOVE LIFE DAMNIT!