ok so today been pretty ok, ive been with danni n steve for most of the day. me steve n danni all had a big play fight with a towel, that was quite amusing. then i got home, read something, which put me on a MASSIVE downer. so yeh im feeling pretty crap.. i just feel like hiding in a hole shriveling up and dieing. i just dont see why i should stay on this stupid earth and torcher myself anymore, im just so fed up of waking up day after day knowing im eaither gonna get myself down or just being bored all day, i need something to do, something thats gonna make me happy, or just something to get me outta the stupid life im living atm. i hate myself and i hate life. ARGh i just need one thing and my life will be compleat ........... but that one thing i doubt will never come to me........... i hate myself

ok so i was totally wrong about sam and klee they are right bitchs that always get me down the only really good desent friend i have lives in nottingham and then theres Danni ... and ive already explained about Danni, as ive said yesh shes the best, shame shes a townie though. but shes an amazing person i mean she dont care what i look like, what i listen to she knows im just a friend for her wheneva she needs to talk, plus i can have a right laugh with danni, thats if were just sitting about on the net round hers or just hanging out somewhere, or even at school. shes so dense sometimes but i guess thats why most of us love her. her and steve are just so perfect for eachother there so sweet together its so lovely to see em together , now all i wish was i could have someone perfect for me. yupyup i lead a sad and lonely life i hate myself sometimes. speshally when youve not been truely happy in 3 weeks you see your cousin who you love dearly that you aint seen for ages and then you are truely happy n then two of your sposed ot be closest friends make you so upset to the extent it makes you cry... yeh i think my life sucks. the only real desent friends i have down hear are Danni and my cousin Sophie cuz there always there for me and i love you both to bits!
yeh enough for now, maybe an update later ....

ok so im starting my diary over again. my life is sad and boring. ive just got back off holiday and i got fuck all to do. im fed up of being single and i think its my height that puts lads off. argh i hate being tall its sucks like fuck man. i need new cooler friends, not that the friends i have at the moment are lame its just that sam and klee are so fucking fake one min there townie next min there alturnative, i get so confused! and danni alothough shes a townie shes a great friend! but still i want people who are crazy and like the same stuff as me, yet i dont want to abandon my old friends cuz i love em so much. there always there for me wheneva i need em speshally klee when im upset or down and i really need to talk but nvm life kinda go's on..... happy or sad. i dont know if im happy or sad, i mean on min im fine having a laugh and enjoying myself then the next im really down and i feal isolated in my own little world and music just doesnt seam to help me anymore. i think i need to start education myself in more things other than just sitting around all day. take up a new hobbie like skating or maybe a band. if only i could play guitar better, plus i need a better singing voice but that will never come .... im so unlucky but so lucky in many ways. anyways on a higher note.... im getting my nose pierced sometime soon. and ive designed the tattoo that i want aswell soooo . i guess somepart of my lifes ok i just need to move on to better things im gonna end this now and say night night and i'll maybe update soon