[More Than This]'s diary

186945  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2004-04-06
Written: (7347 days ago)

I don’t know what has been going on with me lately. I just can’t seem to get to sleep. Lately I think I’m just going nuts or maybe things are getting darker and lonelier I can’t tell anymore. Old memories keep haunting me but its not so much the memories as the emotions that come with it. How everything was good not perfect mind you but things were just fine. Like most people you might assume that I want the person that is associated with those memories back in my life to make me feel ok again, but nothing would be further from the truth. I just want to feel ok. Some people keep asking me why I don’t get medicated and I really don’t have a solid answer for them. I guess it because I really don’t want to rely on a pill. I remember how little it took to make me happy before and it was just a presence of a certain person. I just want to find that peace again with someone and not a pill but then again watching that commercial for adult A.D.D. makes me thing I should get medicated at least for the A.D.D. because my head is just like the commercial says, its as if some one is constantly changing the channel and won’t stop on one station for a min. Well all I can do at this moment is just start to learn everything I can at my internship and wait to take the classes that I need to take before being a substitute teacher. Then with time and if something opens up at the school districts TV station, then I’ll go and get in there full time. Then see were I can go from there, maybe go to Austin or L.A....

175425  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2004-03-23
Written: (7360 days ago)
Next in thread: 596812

What the hell is going on in this world? The Food and Drug Administration on Monday asked 10 antidepressant drug manufacturers to change label warnings to advise closer monitoring of suicidal behavior. What the fuck? I thought the reason that you take anti-depressants is because you were heading into suicidal depression and they were suppose to stop it not fucking cause it. This pisses me off. Here is the article ( http://www.chron.com/cs/CDA/ssistory.mpl/metropolitan/2462530 ) Oh well I'll add to this a little later…..

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