Hello,
    How are you? I am, alive, I suppose. I am physically alive, mentally? I'm not sure ... I am falling apart and no one can see it. I can't live like this any longer. The only thing that keeps me alive is perhaps the tiny shimmer of happiness that may linger in my future. I have never felt this way before. I thought, that when I started, it was bad. Each one is deeper and no matter how much I do it, it never helps. It ... is never enough. There are exactly 98 from my wrist to my elbow. They consist of words and lines, and such. It hurts so bad, but it feels like ... for once ... I'm in control. But I know I'm not. Not with these sudden shocks of emotion that pull me down into the darkness that take over me. You know what, forget it. You don't actually care ... so why am I talking to you? ... Bye.

A few moments of happiness
A sentence to stop the pain
A simple gesture to pull it all together
A few awkward moments of silence
A sudden smile worth reliving
A jerk in the wrong direction
A few days of disappearance
A growing feeling of sickness
A look or two back to see
A few tears shed in rememberance
A wondering mind searching
A pair of desolate eyes
A few more days to see
A time to learn the truth
A lonely hour to cry
A few moments happiness
                                      torn away

... I don't know ... I just wrote in about three minutes ... I know what it's about ... but yeah ...