[.Society's Marionette.]'s diary

442802  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2004-12-13
Written: (7288 days ago)

"Breaking The Habit"

Memories consume
Like opening the wound
I'm picking me apart again
You all assume
I'm safe here in my room
Unless I try to start again

[Bridge:]
I don't want to be the one
The battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize
That I'm the one confused

[Chorus:]
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I know it's not alright
So I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight

Clutching my cure
I tightly lock the door
I try to catch my breath again
I hurt much more
Than anytime before
I had no options left again

[Bridge:]
I dont want to be the one
The battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize
That I'm the one confused

[Chorus:]
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So, I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight

[Bridge:]
I'll paint it on the walls
'Cause I'm the one at fault
I'll never fight again
And this is how it ends

[Chorus:]
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
But now I have some clarity
to show you what I mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So, I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
I’m breaking the habit
Tonight
____________________________________________________________________________________________

I just ... forget it ...

440239  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2004-12-10
Written: (7291 days ago)
Next in thread:

LENNON/CHAPMAN
- Dec. 8 1980
- 11 20 pm
- Shot multiple times
- Guitarist
- Famous band broke up
- Shot from behind
- Died instantly
- Chapman caught
-International news
- Witnessed by wife
- Shot with handgun

DIMEBAG/HALE
- Dec. 8 2004
- 10 20 pm
- Shot multiple times
- Guitarist
- Famous band broke up
- Shot from behind
- Died instantly
- Hale killed
- International news
- Witnessed by brother
- Shot with handgun


RIP John Lennon and Dimebag Darrell

440010  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2004-12-10
Written: (7291 days ago)
Next in thread:

She sat alone in the corner of her world
Tears streamed down her thin pale face
A wilted rose lays at her feet with a note
The note tells of an ended strife
A friend of her's who took his life
Even more her problems grow
For each tear there is a scar
She knows this pain can never end
Her own suicide would solve it all

439159  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2004-12-09
Written: (7292 days ago)
Next in thread:

There are thoughts inside my head
Constant images of being dead
Whether it be with a gun
Or hanging high from a rung
Maybe bleeding myself dry
Overdose I could try
I could just waste away
And never face another day

______________________________________________

Don't pretend you're the only one hurt ... don't pretend it's all your fault ... don't put all of the blame on me ... don't call me cold-hearted ... don't keep pushing me if you want me back ... don't guilt me ... don't ... just don't ...

432965  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2004-12-03
Written: (7298 days ago)
Next in thread:

Hello,
    How are you? I am, alive, I suppose. I am physically alive, mentally? I'm not sure ... I am falling apart and no one can see it. I can't live like this any longer. The only thing that keeps me alive is perhaps the tiny shimmer of happiness that may linger in my future. I have never felt this way before. I thought, that when I started, it was bad. Each one is deeper and no matter how much I do it, it never helps. It ... is never enough. There are exactly 98 from my wrist to my elbow. They consist of words and lines, and such. It hurts so bad, but it feels like ... for once ... I'm in control. But I know I'm not. Not with these sudden shocks of emotion that pull me down into the darkness that take over me. You know what, forget it. You don't actually care ... so why am I talking to you? ... Bye.

397256  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2004-11-01
Written: (7330 days ago)

A few moments of happiness
A sentence to stop the pain
A simple gesture to pull it all together
A few awkward moments of silence
A sudden smile worth reliving
A jerk in the wrong direction
A few days of disappearance
A growing feeling of sickness
A look or two back to see
A few tears shed in rememberance
A wondering mind searching
A pair of desolate eyes
A few more days to see
A time to learn the truth
A lonely hour to cry
A few moments happiness
                                      torn away

... I don't know ... I just wrote in about three minutes ... I know what it's about ... but yeah ...

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