I was reading one of my old poems, titled "My Journey" (you can find it at Nite Owl's Poetry), and I've realized something.
People are always comparing life to a path with a series of forks, driving you closer or farther to your true destination. But really, what path is there to follow? Paths give no room to choose, just a bunch of twists and turns imagined by others. When I picture life now, I see a barren wasteland all around--no trees, no life, no path to guide. Somewhere far in the distance, in any and all directions, is perhaps only an illusion of life and fulfillment that we all strive for. We see it and head for it, hopeful, but after a few miles our hope dwindles and dies slowly, and we stop to make a new judgement--cho
It's so hard to focus on the things we need to find rather than the things we desperately want to find when all of what we see is the same, the same trials and decisions and comprimises over and over. Few find a place where they can stop running and looking and simply rest. Sometimes, that place is still only an illusion, but even so it is restful, peacful.
Nothing is truly hopeless. You need only see that where you are going is just an illusion, a false happiness that crumles with each step. Footsteps will lead you back to where you start, and sometimes that is the only real way, the only true way.
Everyone in this wasteland deserves a chance to go back and choose another way, to take a second chance. Everyone deserves at least that much, if only they make the journey back.
Hey, who wants to beat this guy into the ground with me? >:(
I finally found the song that was stuck in my head for a moneth :D I heard it in our school's production of "The Fantasticks" but couldn't find it anywhere. It's called "It Depends on What You Pay"....aka "The Rape Song" XD *roflroflrofl!
Rape!
R-a-a-a-pe!
Raa-aa-aa-pe!
A pretty rape!
A literary rape!
We've the obvious open schoolboy rape,
With little mandolins and perhaps a cape.
The rape by coach; it's little in request.
The rape by day, but the rape by night is best.
Just try to see it.
And you will soon agree, señors,
Why
Invite regret,
When you can get the sort of rape
You'll never ever forget.
Chrous:
You can get the rape emphatic.
You can get the rape polite.
You can get the rape with Indians:
A very charming sight.
You can get the rape on horseback;
They'll all say it's new and gay.
So you see the sort of rape
Depends on what you pay.
It depends on what you
Pay.
The kids will love it.
It depends on what you pay!
So why be stingy?
It depends on what you --
The spectacular rape,
With costumes ordered from the East.
Requires rehearsal
And takes a dozen men at least.
A couple of singers,
And a string quartet.
A major production.
Requires a set.
Sounds expensive!
Just try to see it.
And you will soon si,si señors,
Why
Invite regret,
When you can get the sort of rape
You'll never ever forget.
(Chorus x1)
So why be stingy?
It depends on what you pay!
The kids will love it.
It depends on what you --
The comic rape.
Perhaps it's just a trifle too unique.
Romantic rape:
Done while canoeing on a moonlit creek.
The gothic rape!
I play "Valkyrie" on a bass bassoon!
The drunken rape.
It's done completely in a cheap saloon.
The rape Venetian
Needs a blue lagoon.
The rape with moonlight
Or without a moon.
Moonlight is expensive but it's in demand.
The military rape:
It's done with drummer and a band.
You understand?
I understand.
It's very grand.
It's very grand.
It's done with drums and a great big brass band!
Yeah!
Just try to see it.
I see it!
I see it!
And you will soon si,si señors,
Why
Invite regret,
When you can get the sort of rape
You'll never ever forget.
(Chorus x3)
So why be stingy?
It depends on what you pay!
The kids will love it.
It depends on what you
Ra-aa-aa-pe!
Ole!
I'm thinking about speaking at a poetry reading this next Thursday (the 12th), but I can't decide on what poem I'd like best to read, or if I should go at all even. I'd like people's opinions on this one, if you can :) I might get a video of this reading, so if I do I might share it with you--but then again, I film terribly haha At least you'll know how I sound like then :P
Last night I had such a beautiful and amazing dream. Not amazing in the way one would usually think...but for once it made me happy. Happier than I've been in months.
I was simply laying beside someone, holding her, a girl with long hair, but I never saw her face. I could feel her hands and her hair and the wind. It was quiet but for the very subtle breeze--neithe
My mind loves to trick me, to betray me. Whenever I sense hope it shows me there is nothing to hope for. Whenever I lose hope and will and happiness, it shows me so much that could be right in this life...and then just as quickly kick me to the ground and spit at me, mocking me for ever believing it to be true. I feel like I have already died somehow, yet still struggling to pull myself out of a pit of blackness, but once I finally see the light all I hear are vultures and rats at the top, waiting to peck me into submission once more. Still I try to muster strength to keep going alone in the dark; still I try to hold on to hope.
Maybe this time my dreams have given in to show me what may happen if only I wait for the vultures to loose their appetite and retreat. Maybe the light isn't as far away as it seems, nor the climb so steep. Then again, perhaps I hope for too much. But what else can I do if not have faith in something...so
Just hold on.
The following is a speech of sorts written by [Panda-monium]. I really appreciate what she has to say, and decided that other's should see this as well. Thank you, Panda, for giving me a little more courage to be myself and stand up for what is right.
Well, at last, my FIRST roleplay The Legion is officially open for character applications! Please send me a PM or comment on the page itself if you'd like to join. I'd like to only admit people I knowo and anyone they'd care to invite as well (there's already a few of you, and you know who you are so no need to tell me again heh). Once I get a fair amount of players on each side, including some for me of course, the roleplay shall finally commence! *breaks champgne bottle, throws confetti, dances* weeeeeeeeee!! Yay for Owlie!! (^,^)
http://www.you
If you know anything about David Tennant or Doctor Who, this is the video for you (aka Squee)! XD Seeing smexy David grow exponentially smexier in drag is just fantastic, I swear! And those legs...!! :o *le gasp* You can't miss this one, mate!
A poets curse is his ability to write the most beautiful words to describe the world, the people, the feelings inside...but they are like mutes in a world of people that never cease to talk. Why is it that I can write poetry in an instant with the mention of a single word, and yet I am silent when the time comes to speak my mind to another as I should. All through my head run words and verses and memories, and none of them ever manifest into speech. I wish I were strong enough to simply say out loud what I wish to say so badly. Instead I cower, hiding the back of my mind with an ocassional step into the written word, ever cautious of all else outside it.
How verstile the mind and body are, what things they can accomplish, and yet what things they are afraid of so terribly at the same time. It's amazing how one person, one word, one blink of the eye can alter everything you've ever thought, everything you ever believed in, or didn't believe in, everything you based your world upon. And with that one thing one can either rebuild the foundations of their entire world....or watch helplessly as it crumbles to the ground in dust and rubble, and all there is to do is wait until another such event comes round, for all the effect it may have is to help rebuild it all over again as it was, perhaps even stronger this time. Faith and science, love and hate, body and mind...they can all change so rapidly and with such ease, even being the complicated concepts they are.
The world is a strange and cruel place at times, but still so wonderful in a most morbid and twisted sort of way.
Well...school starts again tomorrow....so
I need to actually try this semester and not screw it all up like last time. Which means more homework, less Elftown, and a more unhappy Owlie that might actually go to college if I can pull my assout of the gutter I made already.
Then of course the whole double lunch thing....we're going to need to call a meeting of some sort and try to arrange what we're going to do now that we can't sit in the same area anymore :( Hopefully it won't be as horrible as I think it will be....but that's basically what tomorrow will consist of--running around trying to figure things outall over again like a stupid freshman (>,<) Fun, fun....
I shall update on the morrow to see how things really went down.
*gasp!* TWO, conut 'em, TWO diaries in one day?! What is this travesty cannot be possible!! :o
Just wanted to tell people to visit my friggin page! XP Go to Owlie is... to talk shit ab--I mean...write nice beautiful tear-jerker things about Owlie! :D All friends and acquaintances are welcome to write WHATEVER they so desire, so be as nice or as cruel as you want (^,^) Ta-ta!
Oh Gads, this was friggin hilarious!! XD
“If a Jew dies on a hill, and no one else is around, does he make a religion?”
~ Oscar Wilde on Original Jesus
*ish shitting herself* hahahaha I found that on www.uncycloped
Hehehe have fun!
Just a Few of My Thoughts
(Warning: somewhat-intri
I believe that although peace is impossible it is never worthless to continue to strive for it. It should never be bargained for something else or be forgotten and abandoned. There is always time to try.
I believe that true love doesn't exist as others say it does. I believe that love is simply an illusion that people create to give them the hope they need to live on, an illusion pieced together from little fragments of anecdotes in storybooks and verses that only tell you the little happenings of a year or two. But this hope is something that all need and strive for, and that I do believe in--despite the illusion, it is necessary.
I believe that if love does exist, one can only give one's heart away so many times before it shatters under the pressure of uncareful hands.
I believe that people are remarkable beings with the power to change not only their peers and the world they live in, but also themselves--bu
It is never too late to appolgize, however simple or complicated the matter may be.
I believe that it is the simple things that drive men mad, not the incredible ones. Despite a lifetime of invisibility to others or of bloodshed, a single flutter of a passing butterfly's wings may drive a man to do the worst in the end.
I believe that if there was a God who created us all in his image, he was no better a being than the average human despite all his power. Like any human would do, a world is only created to watch it's population evolve, flourish, and then dwindle away and become wiped out before creating a newer, better world--simple trial and error without point.
I believe God needs to exist to give people hope as well. Without it, the world would perish under the weight of so much pressure placed solely on their shoulders and no light in the dark to turn to--however, perhaps without Him, many things that make man as terrible and wonderful a thing that he is would never have happened.
I believe that the church, no matter which one or where, has become corrupt over the years into something evil. You can only speak so much of the devil before you realize you are only describing yourself.
I believe that a person's life and all they do is their choice and their choice alone. The world will go mad the day that this does not stand true--in fact, it already has.
I believe we've lost sight of the things that truly matter to us in a foolish search of something better. Sometimes others must be put forth before yourself, and sometimes not. Sometimes it is simply more important to follow your own futile dreams and in the end smile and say you tried, than to follow the broken dreams of others and die in silence, without a single word to say, only thinking one thing--What happened to my life?
I believe that dying with a dream in your mind, a song in your heart, and a smile on your face is infinitely more noble than dying with a sword in your hands, blood on your soul, and a face that none will remember in ten years.
I believe too much time is spent understanding the world and people around us than understanding ourselves.
Am I a cynic...? If you didn't already know the answer to that you weren't paying much attention, were you?
:D I'm finally creating a roleplay of my own! It's not too terribly original....bu
I was reading a bit of Stephen King when I recalled one of my favorite movies, The Storm of the Century. The line "My name is Legion, for we are many." kept running through my mind and slowly a little idea dropped out of it. So, I wrote it down. I couldn't decide if I wanted to write it or make an RP out of it, but I decided to start with the RP and go from there.
I'd like some help from other peopl if you're willing. I've only got the main storyline up for the most part, but you can find it at The Legion. :) I'm quite looking forward to it....
The Masochism Tango - Tom Lehrer/Dr. Demento
I ache for the touch of your lips, dear,
But much more for the touch of your whips, dear.
You can raise welts
Like nobody else
As we dance to the masochism tango.
Let our love be a flame not an ember,
Say it's me that you want to dismember,
Blacken my eye,
Set fire to my tie
As we dance to the masochism tangeo
At your command,
Before you here I stand,
My heart is in my hand...eww...
It's here that I must be.
My heart entreats,
Just hear those savage beats,
Then go put on your cleats
And come and trample me.
Your heart's hard as ston or mahognay,
That's why I'm in such exquisite agony.
My soul is on fire,
It's aflame with desire,
Which is why I perspire when we tango.
You caught my nose in your left castanet, love,
I can feel the pain yet, love,
Everytime I hear drums.
And I envy the rose that you held in your teeth, love,
With the thorns underneath, love,
Sticking into your gums.
Your eyes cast a spell that bewitches,
The last time I needed twenty stitches
To sew up the gash you made with your lash
As we danced to the masochism tango.
Bash in my brain
And make me scream with pain,
Then kick me once again
And swear we'll never part.
I know too well
I'm underneath your spell
So darling if you smell
Something burning, it's my heart.
Take you cigarette from it's holder
And burn your initials in my shoulder.
Fracture my spine
And swear that you're mine
As we dance to the maso--chism tango.
tee-hee! XD
OOOOOOOOHHHH YEAH BABY!!!!!11!!o
*ahem* Allow me to explain a bit.
For those of you who don't know, University of Southern California (USC) and Univeristy of California in Los Angeles (UCLA) are bitter archrivals in everything they do, especially in football. Unfortunately, my team (UCLA) isn't the best ot football, while USC generally wins too much.
Today's game was HUGE. Rose Bowl was packed to the brim and then some to see UCLA fight off USC. And you know what? For the first time in seven years...UCLA WON, BABY! It was amazing! The perfet interception that turned the tables completely and the spirit of the game....wow. My brother was there, and they were partying before they got back on the bus back to UCLA and didn't stop until 3 AM this morning XD I heard it was pretty insane, the police got involved in the appartment areas with the riots (see http://dailybr
4:30 pm is one of the most beautiful times of day. It's that time just before sunset, when the sun comes in just perfect over the hilltops, lighting everything up so pale and mellow, so peacefully...a
And yet...just as day follows night, the night must always fall. And when that glorious sun begins to fade, turning the world a blood red as it breathes it's last, the world is once more cast into darkness so bitter and cold and alone. When all ties made before are broken, when friends depart, disease spreads, and Death persues tirelessly. And this land, this place we know of that consumes us when the lights go out...there is no escape from it.
Well I've finally began playing FFX, which I got for my birthday back in early September (O,o) Quite amusing game though, what with the slang being a few years out of date XD But I'm actually okay at this one for once. I usually suck ass at turn-based RPGs heh Like that f***ing LotR: Third Age game (>,<) That was crap--how the hell are you supposed to get through Mordor and then beat Sauron with out saving?! You can't! >-( Bleh....anyway
Sooooo....new poem or two since the last diary entry (which, if some of you are still confused by the shortness of it, you obvoius didn't read my updated House before arriving here) which you can find at Nite Owl's Poetry, like always :D *nudgenudge, winkwink, say no more, say no more*