1. On your lunch hour, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Sexual Favors."
7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With the Prophecy"
8. Don't use any punctuation.
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play Tropical Sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Hard.
17. When The Money Comes Out Of The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"
18.When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking Lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.

Two parents take their son on a vacation and go to a nude beach. The father goes for a walk on the beach and the son goes and plays in the water.
The son comes running up to his mom and says...
"Mommy, I saw ladies with boobies a lot bigger than yours!"
The mom says... "the bigger they are, the dumber they are."
He goes back to play on the beach...... Several minutes later he comes running back and says... "Mommy, I saw men with dingers a lot bigger than Daddy's!"
The mom says... "the bigger they are, the dumber they are."
So he goes back to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says...
"Mommy, I just saw Daddy talking to the dumbest lady I ever saw and the more and more he talked, the dumber and dumber he got !"

15 Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner is taking their sweet time:


1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares .... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

( And; last, but not least!)

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and, then, yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

haha im in computers and very tired......i fell asleep in math today! (almost)