"reason"
Reasons are like voices
everyones got one for
every occasion
and every situation
and action
they think just because
they have a reason it justifies
what they have done
but guess what....?!
it doesn't
saying your sorry
almost never justifies
something
most things
you can't justify
what you have done
can't be changed but
most of the time if
you truly don't want
it to happen again you
wouldn't have done it in the
first place
thats the reason
"missing you"
Every second your away
i hurt
i'm missing you
everytime we say goodbye
i hurt
i'm missing you
everytime we don't talk
i hurt
i'm missing you
everytime we don't cuddle
i hurt
i'm missing you
everytime you hurt
i hurt
i'm missing your smile
everytime you cry
i cry
i'm missing your happiness
everytime we talk
i heal
i'm missing you less
everytime you laugh
i heal
i'm missing you less
everytime you heal
i heal
i'm missing you less
i love you and no matter what
i will always miss something about you
"missing"
All week i was missing you
i knew i would be
for two weeks i'll be missing you
i know i will be
i know i will see you
i know you will be back
i know will seee tou soon
i know i've gone longer
without you
i am missing you
when i'm not with you
i know i will be missing you soon
when i am with you
i will never stop missing you
untill i am with you forever
untill we will never be apart
and i will never be missing you
forever and for always
"talk"
When we have a problem
we talk
when i have a problem
we talk
when we have to work
we talk
when we play
we talk
when we mess around
we talk
when we are watching movies
we talk
when we cuddle
we talk
but when you have a problem
we don't talk
but we need to...
talk
1) Name: Sean F. Bohanan
2) AKA: SFB stands for: Sexy F*ckin Beast (only to be called this by Heather), retard, midgit, rodent, dumbass,
3) Country of living: U.S.A
4) Birth date: April 20
5) Height: 5'6"
6) Eye color: Green
7) Shoe size: 7 1/2
8) School: Hopkinton High School
9) Do you smoke:no
10) Hobby's: video games, hangin wit my Heather,
11) Brothers/Siste
12) Relationship: Heather [zean]
13) Piercing(s): none hopin for left ear
14) Tattoo: Eventually i want to get one on each shoulder of 4 hearts in a rose with the top one having the name of my child the left heart having the initals "HLG" the right one having the intals "SFB" and the bottems one will have "HLG+SFB for ever for always"
15) Favorite Country to go to: Hell
16) Are there people you wont reply to:...
17) Nicest person you met this year: Kelsia [2 Lost Souls Swimming in a Fish Bowl] Heather [zean]
18) Person you rather not have met this year: Ferrero, Ami
19) Who would you like to meet: any WWE wrestlers
20) Who do you admire most: Heather [zean]
21) Most sexy person(s): Heather [zean]
22) Favorite Pajamas: what ever the F*ck i was wearin that day
23) Favorite Car: red or black two seater convertable with the other color for the top
24) Favorite Movie(s):*says with slight slur* Billy Madison
25) Favorite Music:heavy metal, country, hard rock
26) Favorite City(s): Hooksett Manch-vegas and hoppytown
27) Favorite Plush: my unicorn
28) Favorite Perfume: AXE kilo or essence
29) Favorite Magazine: Raw or Smackdown
30) Favorite sound: Freddys claw pretruding in to Jasons temple
31) Favorite TV-series: fear factor
32) Favorite Writer: [zean], Jeff hardy
33) Favorite Nickname:SFB look above for what it stands for yet again only Heather [zean] is allowed to call me this
34) What all is under your bed: the gates to hell thats why i keep it messy
35) Favorite color: Black,Red,pink
36) Favorite Song ever: Forever and for always by Shania Twain
37) Favorite song at this moment Andy Griggs "She Thinks She Needs Me" and Brad Paslely and Alison Krouss "Whiskey Lulliby"
38) Favorite food: PIZZA
39) Favorite class in school: Math
40) Favorite drink: Dr Pepper
41) Lucky number: 666
42) What do you think is greatest about yourself: absolutly nothing
43) What deodorant do you use: how many people know tis off the top of their f*cking heads?
44) Favorite shoes: My nice black boots
45) What time do you go to bed on weekdays: 10:30 11:00 no different then during the week
46) What word do you use most: f*ck
47) Most romantic moment in your life: my first kiss with Heather [zean]
48) Most embarassing moment in your life: I'm not going to tell you you'll use it for black mail
49) You spend your time rather inside or outside: what do you mean by that?
50) What do you do in the weekends: do in the weekends if you mean on the week end i hang out and think about Heather [zean]
51) What class in school do you dislike most: music english history science gym
52) Your Breakfast: ?
53) What do you really really dislike to eat:i don't know lasagna
54) Pets: 1 cat
55) Laugh or Dream: dream
56) Serious or funny: probably more serious
57) Fast or slow: i.....am......
58) You prefer being alone or have relation:havin
59) Simple or complicated: complicated
60) Cremate or Buried when dead:why do you want to know planning something?
61) Sex or Alcohol: yet again why do you want to know planing something?
62) Stay up late or go to bed early: late but i wake up at 6:00am everyday
63) Light or dark: dark very dark
64) Speak or Silence: speak
65) Tall or small man/woman:woma
66) News paper: whats a news paper?
67) Hug or kiss: depends on the person
68) Happy or Sad: depends on the situation
69) Life or Death: death, life is just the road to death, life is pointless
70) Left or Right: how do you mean that?
71) What would you ask God if you could ask him 1 single question: can you make a rock you even can't lift?
72) You believe in reincarnation:
73) You believe in Aliens: yes
74) When you die, what will be your last words: "Fire fire everywhere" or "666"
75) Does true love exist: yes i beleive i have found it in Heather [zean]
76) How many kids would you like to have: 3 me and Heather desided
77) What is the one thing you can't stand: Ferrero
78) Best feeling: knowing that i made Heather [zean] happy
79) Worst feeling in the world: knowing tha i made my Heather mad >_<
80) What are you afraid of: bees
81) Are you an emotional person: ask Heather [zean]
82) Do you ever cry during a movie: not usually
83) Your goal in life: to stay alive with Heather [zean] for ever
84) What was the promise you made to yourself at new years eve: you expect me to rememebr that long ago
85) Favorite art-artist: Heather [zean]
86) As what animal would you like to reincarnate:Dr
87) Favorite Cartoons: Courage The Cowardly Dog
88) Who is your best friend/s: Deanna and Heather and Ashley M
89) Boys names (kids):ask Heather [zean]
90) Girls names (kids): ask Heather [zean]
91) Animal: how dare you call me that?
92) Game(s): legacy of kain blood omen1-2 and soul reaver 1-2 and defiance
93) If you could make your own flavor of toothpaste, what would it be? what kinda question is that?
94) What super hero would you be? the
S:uper
H:ero
I:n
T:raining
95) Make up a word and a meaning to go with it: sakuty: I love Heather[zean]
96) Do your friends think you're dumb? i don't now ask them their [2 Lost Souls Swimming in a Fish Bowl]
and [chemic red]
97) If you met the REAL Santa Claus, what would you wish for? what do you mean REAL i see him every year at the mall don't I what hes not real aaaahhhh *goes and hides in corner*
--------------
1) Giving hugs?: depends on the person
2) Taking walks in the rain?: Yes, Love it especally with Heather [zean]
3) Reincarnation: yes
4) Going on stage?: hell no
5) Drink: nope
6) Smoke:nope
7) Drugs: nope
8) Eat meat: which type if its the type that i have down there no if its the type thats hunted no if its a cow that was raised to die then yes
9) Insomnia:nope
10) Eat a lot: not really
11) Sleep a lot: i wish
12) Eat sushi: nope
13) Get motion: what do you mean by that?
14) Get along with your parents: kinda
--------------
WHO DO YOU WANT TO AND WHY
--------------
Kill:Nic
Hear from: Gaella
Get really wasted with: Sean P.
Look like: Myself i got my Heather [zean] with these looks why should i change them i got everything i want
Be like: My self same reason as looks
Avoid: Melissa nic my cousin from vermont long story
HAVE YOU EVER
1) Dated one of your best friends: yes two of them
2) Loved/Liked: yes alot
3) Cried: yes
4) Drank alcohol:not to what i remember
5) Done drugs: no
6) Broken the law:i don't know
7) Broken a bone: nope knock on wood
8) Cheated on a test: maybe
9) Skinny dipped: nope wish with Heather [zean]
10) Played Truth or Dare:yes
11) Ridden in a fire truck: nope
12) Come close to dying: not to what i know
14) Given someone a piggy back/shoulder ride: yes
15) Eaten a worm/mud pie: i don't remember
16) Stayed up till four on the phone: no
17) Tipped over a port-a-potty: if you were in it... haha
18) Fell asleep while eating: no i don't find that boring
19) Met someone famous: no
20) Been in a school play: yes
21) Cried in public: once
22) Seen someone die: no
ARE YOU...
--------------
A vegetarian?: not unless the meat was hunted
Good grades?: sometimes
A good student?:not really
Good at sports?: if i try but still not really
A good singer?: to Heather [zean] yes but to me kinda
A good actor/actress?
A deep sleeper?: not really
A good dancer?: no
Shy? kinda
Outgoing?:not really
A good storyteller?: no
--------------
Random questions
--------------
{x} Fallen for your best friend? yes
{x} Made out with JUST a friend? yes
{x} Been rejected? yes
{x} Been in love? yes
{x} Been in lust? kinda
{x} Used someone? no
{x} Been used? i think
{x} Been cheated on? not to what i know
{x} Considered a life of crime? no
{x} Considered being a hooker? no
{x} Considered being a pimp? no
{x} Are you psycho? maybe
{x} Split personalities? no
{x} Schizophrenic? yes
{x} Obsessive? sometimes
{x} Obsessive compulsive? sometimes
{x} Dream of dead bodies, blood, death, and gore? a little
{x} Dream of doing those things instead of just seeing them? sometimes
{x} Understanding: yes
{x} Open-minded: yes
{x} Arrogant: no
{x} Insecure:no
{x} Interesting:no
{x} Hungry: a little
{x} Friendly: not to alot of people
{x} Smart: in math yes in any other class no
{x} Moody: not really
{x} Childish: sometimes
{x} Independent: yes
{x} Hard working: not really
{x} Organized: not really
{x} Healthy: yes
{x} Emotionally stable: yes
{x} Shy: not really
{x} Difficult: yes very
{x} Attractive: not in the least damn bit
{x} Bored easily: not really
{x} Thirsty: a little
{x} Responsible: mostly
{x} Sad: alittle
{x} Happy: not really
{x} Trusting: of two people ya
{x} Talkative: a little
{x} Original: ya
{x} Different: hell ya
{x} Unique: hell ya
{x} Lonely: nope
{x} Color your hair? not yet
{x} Floss daily? no
{x} Own a web cam? no
{x} Ever get off the damn computer? i would but what else would i do?
{x} Talk in the third person? some of the time Sean does
--------------
Currents
--------------
{x} Current Annoyance: Nic
{x} Current Favorite Group: Slipknot
{x} Current DVD In Player: the ring up in room
{x} Current Worry: Heather [zean] will break up with me or hurt her self due to something i'm not going to openly say
{x} Current Crush: my baby Heather [zean]
{x} Current Favorite Celebrity: Jeff Hardy
On Dating:
--------------
{x} Long or short hair? long
{x} Dark or blond hair? doesn't matter
{x} Tall or short? doesn't matter
{x} Mrs Sensitive or Mrs Funny? doesn't matter
{x} Good or bad? little of both
{x} Dark or light eyes?: doesn't matter
--------------
More Stuff…
--------------
33. Color of room: white sadly i wish it was black
34. Color of carpet: i don't know and i'm not going up stairs and shoveling my room to find out
35. Room size: 20 by 15 i think
36. Bed size: i don't kow
37. Sheet colors: white
38. How many pillows: 2
41. Shirt size: regular
43. What's in your room: i don't know my ps2 my bed my tv my radio my sega my other sega my n64 my craptop my legos and someother crap
44. Kind of computer: compaq
45. Color computer:grey
47. Money in bank account: 525
48. Posters in room: 1
1) Girl names:ask Heather [zean]
2) Boy names: ask Heather [zean]
3) CD: my own mix that i'm listening to right now
4) Scent: Heather [zean]
5) Emotion: when i'm with Heather [zean]
6) Texture: can't say
7) Thing to do: can't say
8) Place: my room with Heather
9) Book: The Giver
10) Subject: math
11) Shampoo: Suave Passion Flower
12) Drink: cold malt liquor ya right Dr Pepper
13) Store: Hot Topic, Wolly World
14) Fast food: burger king
15) Breakfast food: nurtigrain bars
16) Sound:freddys claw proturding into jasons skull
17) Snack: ice cream
18) Thing to do with friends: just hangout
19) Brand of shoes: brahma bull
20) Gum:any except the hot gum that stuff sucks
21) Socks: what ever fits me
22) Flavor of Kool-Aid: don't care
23) Favorite Pop: don't have one
24) Flavor of Jolly Rancher:don't care
25) Person: Heather [zean]
26) Actor: Rob Shnider Adam Sandaler Norm Mcdonald and Steve Bucshemy
27) Actress: don't have one
28) Female singer: Shania Twain
29) Male singer: Chris Jericho, Steve Willams (stone cold steve austin for you less educated wrestling fans)
DO YOU Believe in
1. Ghosts: yes
2. Satan: yes
3. Heaven: yes
4. Hell: yes
5. The afterlife: yes
6. Love at first sight: yes
--------------
Which ONE?
--------------
7. Sneakers/sanda
8. DVD/VHS: dvd
9. Pepsi/Coke: doesn't matter
10. Straight/gay: straight
11. Summer/winter: summer
12. Spring/fall:sp
13. Siblings/only child: sibilings
14. Movies/TV: tv
15. Chocolate/vani
16. Juice/pop: doesn't matter
17. Chill/party: chill with Kelsia [2 Lost Souls Swimming in a Fish Bowl] Heather [zean] Ashley [chemic red]
18. Draw/write: write
19. Night/day: night
20. Capris/shorts: shorts
21. Make-up/barefa
22. Shower/bath: if with Heather [zean] bath if alone shower
23. Food/drink: doesn't matter
24. Drive/walk: drive
25. Pink/purple: pink
26. Red/blue: red
27. Scared/nervous
28. Mad/sad: sad
THE PRESENT
--------------
1. What are you doing right now: listening to music
2. Are you listening to music: what did i just say?
3. If so what song: disurbeds down with the sickness
4. What is in your CD player: my mix
5. Who are you talking to: you you stupid shmuck
6. Are you wearing nail polish: no
7. The current time: 6:26pm east coast time
8. What are you wearing: black jeans black shirt and my black boots
9. What are you thinking right now: how much i want to kill the person that made this and the person that made me do this and also just thinking bout my Heather [zean]
10. Eating/drinkin
--------------
THE FUTURE
1. What do you want to be: Wrestler/auto bod mechanic
2. Where do you wanna live: Hooksett
3. Who do you want to marry:Heather [zean]
4. Do you want to get married: ya
5. Do you want to have kids: ya
6. If so, how many: ask Heather [zean]
7. If you could marry anyone, who would it be: Heather [zean]
--------------
LAST TiME YOU
1. Smiled: earlier when hangin with Heather [zean]
6. Stared at a picture: last night
7. Read a book for pleasure: summer of 2002
8. Got totally wasted: never
9. Yelled: earlier
10. Showered: last night
11. Brushed your teeth: this morning
--------------
HAVE YOU EVER
--------------
1. Smoked a cigarette: no
2. Smoked a cigar:no
3. Snorted coke:no
4. Smoked Weed: no
5. Been high: no
6. Had sex: not yet
7. Said "I hope you die" to someone:
8. Tried to kill someone: never
9. Tried to kill yourself: not yet
10. Got in a fist fight: in march 2004
11. Lied to your parents: may 3rd 2004
12. Given someone a bruise: 4th of july 2004
13. Ditched someone: earlier today
14. Freak danced: never
15. Stole something: never
16. Cut yourself: yes
17. Skipped school: never
18. Hung up on someone: never
19. Threw up at school: never
20. Done someone else's make-up: never
21. Kissed someone of the same sex: never
22. Had a burping contest: never
23. Snuck out: i wish
24. Been to a school dance:May 14th 2004
25. Thought your teacher was hot: never
--------------
WHAT COMES TO MiND WHEN YOU HEAR...
--------------
1. Lotion: sun
2. Rubber: condom
3. CD: music
4. Bed:Heather [zean]
5. Paper:Fail
6. Run: from what
7. Candle: fire
8. Mouse pad: damn mice with periods
9. Sweatshirt: warm
10. Door: closed
11. Pictures: Heather [zean]
12. Flowers: Heather [zean]
13. Deodorant: axe
14. Pencil: poems
15. Sex: Heather [zean]
16. Radio: music
ok so this is the first real "diary" entry i've written and thats because i'm sick and F*cking tired of my friends all hating each other and me having to hear what everyone says about the others and you know who you are so if you guys would just set something up to talk this out civily or even just drop it and attempt to stay out of each others lives just please attempt to make it so i don't have to hear 5 different sides of the story and then when i say which i think is right i get 4 people mad at me and then i hear people bitching about the other one and all this other shit i'm tired of it and if you can't figure this out in a way were it will be civil then please just don't bad mouth the person in front of me
-Seanson
"ANGER"
Some people express thier anger...
Through screaming...
Some through violence...
Some just cry...
Some just keep it inside...
Some just fake being angry
Some don't get angry
And some...
Some just...
Some just flip...
Some over react...
And some
Just are ass holes
To thier true friends
And make their friends
Feel like jerks
And they feel
Like $#!t
"Trust"
You lie and I find out
Yet I believe
You lie again and I still believe
You lie again and still I believe
Yet I doubt alittle but yet I believe
You lie again and yet I believe yet I doubt as much as I believe
You lie again and I doubt more than I believe
You tell the truth yet now I think you lie and I don't believe
What if you just yold the truth the whle time I would have believed...
"Everything"
Everthing that I was
Was for her
Yet it was for you
Everything I am
Is for you
Not her
Everything you were
Was for him
Yet for me
Everything you are
Is for me
Not him
Everything we were
Was for them
Yet for us
Everything we are
Is for us
Not them
"Hypocrite"
I may live...and help others live...But i'm not alive.
I may make others life better...At the expence of my own.
I may keep others from dissing themselves...B
I may tell others "Suicides no the answer...But after think...It would solve everything
I may tell others hurting yourself will not help anything...But again I hurt myself
why do i saythings to others and then contridict myself
is it because I lie to them? Or is it I lie to myself?
Could I just be in the same sence a lier? Or am I a lifesaver
I tell them drugs aren't the answer and then think...That would be pretty cool.
I tell them looks don't matter...But then I worry about how I look
and again I lie to them. Is it for their own good? or is it so i can feel that I made a difference
I say cheating on a test or on their lover is bad but again I know I have or that I might again
"Cheat"
Some people cheat on games
some cheat on tests
some cheat on death
some cheat little things
but yet some...
some cheat...
some cheat on other things...
I know what some people cheat on..
because
I have cheated on tests
i have cheated on games
i have cheated on death
i have cheated on the little things
i never cared when i cheated
nor did i care on what i cheated
untill that day...
untill the day
i cheated...
on you
"Right"
What I think is right might not be in everyone elses eyes but in my eyes it is but sometimes i can give in and change waht i think is right bit sometimes i can't sometimes sometmies i just feel so strongly about something that it will take control of me and i will stick with it no matter what the consiquences are this is one of those situations that i will not change my mind on
"Hate"
You can hate...
and not care
you can be hated...
and not care
you can hate...
your relitives
and not care
you can hate...
a loved one
and not care
you can hate
your friends
and not care
you can hate...
anyone...
anyone in the entire world without caring
but one...
and the one...
the one you can't hate
without caring...
is yourself
"we"
as our relationship grows
we get closer
as we get closer
we get farther
as we get farther
we get older
as we get older
our relationship grows
as our relationship grows
we get closer
as we get closer
we get farther
as we get farther
we get more personal
as we get more personal
our relationship grows
as our relationship grows
we get closer
as we get closer
we get farther
as we get farther
we get more trusting
as we get more trusting
we become more
of one
we get
more love
we give
more love
we have
more love
we will
always be
WE
"without you"
without you
i am sad
without you
i am worried
without you
i am scared
without you
i am not me
without you
i don't live the same
without you
i can't live
without you
i can't focus
without you
i can't hope
without you
for just one day
seems like
an eternity
without you...
just for today
i wonder
where are you
what has happened to you
why you aren't here
but yet i think
you will just appear...
just appear in my arms
"You"
We have a trip to a game
But i can't enjoy the scenery
Because i'm not with you
When we get there
I can't focus on the action of the game
All i can focus on is you
The game
Doesn't matter
The music i listen to on the road
Doesn't matter
All that matters is you
I don't care about anything
But one thing
And one thing only
And that one thing is
You
"Love"
Love is...
trust
Love is...
caring
Love is...
fun
Love is...
listening
Love is...
communication
Love is...
happy
Love is...
tuff
Love is...
hurt
Love is...
Love is...
good and bad
thats why
we have it
those that find
true love
can deal with the
hurt
the tuff times
and all the good times
I truly beleive
we have found it
we have found true...
LOVE
in each other
"Deserving"
You are deserving of
Much better than me
Someoe more loyal
Someone more trustworthy
Someone more honest
Someone... anyone but me
Yet you love...me
I am deserving of
Nothing
Death
Failure
To be alone
Never to love
Never to be loved
Yet i love...you
I don't want to be alone
Neither do you
I don't want anyone but you
Yet i don't deserve you
You don't want anyone but me
Yet you deserve better than me
"Death"
Death brings peace
Death brngs pain
Death brings hate
Death brings healing
Death ends pain
Death ends hate
Death ends peace
Death ends healing
Death is so complicated
Death makes people think
The pain will stop
Death makes people think
They will make others lives easier
Death makes people think
The wrong things
Death accutally brings
hurt
Pain
Hate
Deppresion
Jail time
But most of all Death is mainly responsable for more... Death
"One"
if someone insults you
it hurts you
if someone insults me
it hurts me
it doesn't matter how you put it
if someone hurts you
they hurts me too
if someone hurts me
they hurt you too
if they insult us
it hurts us
its this way
as we are one