ET: Member blog

[Arbor]'s diary

13819 Link to this entry
Written about Tuesday 2003-03-11
Written: (7928 days ago)

I feel like quoting!! Aye!! Quoting some of my favourite bands!!

"do you remember all the bad times/ when precious few were found by my side?/you stood by/ while others whispered word of my demise/ your presence, a comfort in the longest of nights/ I cried and cried and you let me/ hide behind the love you always gave"-- stavesacre
"My assumption that if I could find some way to get back there/ intervention straight to your heart/ without it everything is so perfect/ why can't I just hide the past/ forget about the good times?"--DOGWOOD
"praying heaven will open wide/ and hold you tight/ as for me, I'll be all right...but for now/ i hope you can hear me as I cry/ I love you and good-bye"--underoath
"Nameless faces and sounds/ voices screamin' in pain/ huddled shadows and sirens voices calling my name/ Well I can't sleep but I'm not awake to this hazy dim version of reality"--Strung Out

13667 Link to this entry
Written about Tuesday 2003-03-11
Written: (7928 days ago)

Is it wrong to want someone? Is wrong to dream of him in the ways I would want to have him? My dreams are only visions; they themselves are not mutinous. I would be, though, if I acted out those scenes I have seen in my dreams. How far am I prepared to take this? How heavily will it weigh on my conscience?
I seriously think the only reason humans are alive is to hurt each other and make each other miserable!!
How horrible am I?

12804 Link to this entry
Written about Thursday 2003-03-06
Written: (7933 days ago)

A SILVER Dragon Lies Beneath!

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I took the <a href="http://www.geocities.com/teo592/quiz/dragon.html" target="new">Inner Dragon Online Quiz</a> and found out I am a Silver Dragon on the inside. My Inner Dragon is to dragons what the Ranger is to humans. Like all metallic dragons, Silvers rigidly adhere to an internal code of conduct. Each Silver, however, must develop their code individually, a fact which explains their unique dispositions and actions. Silvers are often considered shadows dwelling on the periphery of dragon culture (much like human Rangers), but they can always be counted upon to speak the truth and help their allies. Because no one but a Silver knows what they'll do next, their alignment is "Chaotic Neutral."<br><br>

Being a Silver isn't all shady head-games, though. I possess considerable intelligence and self-confidence (whether they manifest themselves or not :P ). Magic isn't really my bag, but I'm awfully good at slipping in and out undetected. Which, by the way, is probably due to my slightly-below-average size. My favorable attributes are dependability, durability, problem-solving, mist, and pewter. Like my human counterpart - the Ranger - I'm a superb weapons user and have an especially good command of my icy breath weapon. I know I might be tough to understand at times, but that's just my way.<br><br>

12644 Link to this entry
Written about Wednesday 2003-03-05
Written: (7934 days ago)

Next in thread: 12706

I have this habit of cutting myself...when I get severely depressed or what not. It is an inescapable urge; I have to fight to resist taking the knife to my flesh. When I get really desparate and feel I need the punishment, I make a salt water solution and rub it into my wound--continuously. Am I screwed up or what? Fighting--so far, winning. grrr...he keeps making me feel miserable-I do not want to make him uncomfortable, but all I know is that I want him!! Cannot stop thinking of him. Curse me!

12409 Link to this entry
Written about Monday 2003-03-03
Written: (7936 days ago)

Definitely feeling like crap right now. I just...want him!! Why? Why can't i be a good girl! I know that I shall try my hardest to get him...then, i shall have caused an unquantifiable amount of trouble, hurt, and confusion for more than two people!! Can i hate myself any more.
I swear the only reason I am still living is for my daughter...

12276 Link to this entry
Written about Sunday 2003-03-02
Written: (7937 days ago)

I decided to go for a nice, long run through the Mill Creek Park trails. Well, I ran my a*% off and then got sick; I had to leave work. No money for yoa!! Time to sleep some more, me no feel well. :(

12162 Link to this entry
Written about Saturday 2003-03-01
Written: (7938 days ago)

cannot...stop thinking...about...him!! *sigh* Shall I ever be sure? What is this disease in my heart? How can hurt those I adore? One thing is for certain: It is far too easy for me to worship people.

(really craving a cup of Earl Grey)
(really craving someone's kiss)

11906 Link to this entry
Written about Thursday 2003-02-27
Written: (7940 days ago)

Nothing goes as planned, correct? My night f#@&ing went all to hell, and i think I shall have to cry myself to sleep to diffuse all of my pent up frustrations!! I would rather have been giving birth again than have lived through this night-at least labor yields something joyful. This night just absolutely sucked my a$@!! RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

11592 Link to this entry
Written about Tuesday 2003-02-25
Written: (7942 days ago)

Good day!! Trying to clean the house for company tomorrow. I want the house to look decent when the sitter comes over. My friend Nicole-who is so so cool-is going to watch my daughter while I go to Cleveland to see Blindside in concert. They are an awesome Christian hardcore band from Sweden who are making their way in the music world-just now getting radio-popular in America. Toured a few years ago with POD.
Time to go clean, clean , clean! (with Katryn's help of course!!)

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