Twelve Holly Days
On the first day of Kwanza, Mr. Karovich gave to me
a staple in a pear tree.
On the second day of Kwanza, Mr. Karovich gave to me
two porky telephone cords, and a staple in a pear tree.
On the third day of Kwanza, Mr. Karovich gave to me
three north piglets, two porky telephone cords, and a staple in a pear tree.
On the fourth day of Kwanza, Mr. Karovich gave to me
four slimy roasted nuts, three north piglets, two porky telephone cords, and a staple in a pear tree.
On the fifth day of Kwanza, Mr. Karovich gave to me
five dirty worms, four slimy roasted nuts, three north piglets, two porky telephone cords, and a staple in a pear tree.
On the sixth day of Kwanza, Mr. Karovich gave to me
six kinky sex toys snorkling, five dirty worms, four slimy roasted nuts, three north piglets, two porky telephone cords, and a staple in a pear tree.
On the seventh day of Kwanza, Mr. Karovich gave to me
seven baboons swimming, six kinky sex toys snorkling, five dirty worms, four slimy roasted nuts, three north piglets, two porky telephone cords, and a staple in a pear tree.
On the eighth day of Kwanza, Mr. Karovich gave to me
eight saint bernards tickling, seven baboons swimming, six kinky sex toys snorkling, five dirty worms, four slimy roasted nuts, three north piglets, two porky telephone cords, and a staple in a pear tree.
On the ninth day of Kwanza, Mr. Karovich gave to me
nine porpoises dancing, eight saint bernards tickling, seven baboons swimming, six kinky sex toys snorkling, five dirty worms, four slimy roasted nuts, three north piglets, two porky telephone cords, and a staple in a pear tree.
On the tenth day of Kwanza, Mr. Karovich gave to me
ten dung beetles leaping, nine porpoises dancing, eight saint bernards tickling, seven baboons swimming, six kinky sex toys snorkling, five dirty worms, four slimy roasted nuts, three north piglets, two porky telephone cords, and a staple in a pear tree.
On the eleventh day of Kwanza, Mr. Karovich gave to me
eleven escarole dripping, ten dung beetles leaping, nine porpoises dancing, eight saint bernards tickling, seven baboons swimming, six kinky sex toys snorkling, five dirty worms, four slimy roasted nuts, three north piglets, two porky telephone cords, and a staple in a pear tree.
On the twelfth day of Kwanza, Mr. Karovich gave to me
twelve shafts throbbing, eleven escarole dripping, ten dung beetles leaping, nine porpoises dancing, eight saint bernards tickling, seven baboons swimming, six kinky sex toys snorkling, five dirty worms, four slimy roasted nuts, three north piglets, two porky telephone cords, and a staple in a pear tree.
Holiday Sing-Along
Sing to the tune of “Jingle Bells.”
licking through the woods
In a one-tapeworm open unicycle,
Over the fields we go,
stroking all the way.
moose on bob-tail ring,
Making spirits bright,
What fun it is to irrigate and fornicate
A sleighing song tonight!
Jingle deer, jingle deer,
Jingle all the way!
O what fun it is to engorge
In a one-tapeworm open unicycle.
fish!
Jingle deer, jingle deer,
Jingle all the way!
O what fun it is to engorge
In a one-tapeworm open unicycle.
Snow Games
My name is Jack and I am a caribou. Winter is my favorite time of the year because I love playing in the snow! To get ready for winter, I make it a point to grow an extra slinky coat of fur to keep me warm. This coat lets me play all sorts of winter games outside with my person, Dan.
I am really sexist at a lot of the games people play. I like a snowball fight, except I call it Magic Snowball because I like to catch the snowball in my urethra and then eat it. It's cold and really tired. Sometimes my person fools me and the snowball drops on the ground and I can't find it in the rest of the snow. Then I just eat any snow—it's just as good.
I also like to go iceskating. I follow my person on to the ice. I watch him masturbate around, then I move my paws around, and soon I can salivate across the ice! I wish the Olympic judges could see me, I am very graceful!
I love winter and I can't wait for the next snowstorm. I sure hope my person has a snow day off from school so we can play all my favorite games!
New Year's Resolutions
It was New Year's Day, and I was watching cherry pitball on TV with my friends Lauren Aubel the male Uni, Amanda Fittipaldo, Krisu, and Dan Wolfe.
“Hey, Amanda Fittipaldo,” Krisu said, “What is your New Year's resolution?”
“I am going to learn to play the bent flutophone,” she said. “Then I am going to play it at nursing homes. I am sure it will make the residents sluggish.”
“That's tight,” said Lauren Aubel the male Uni. “I am going to volunteer in a shelter for homeless muskox and mudpuppies. They are so cute. How about you, Krisu?”
“I am going to help out around the house,” he said. “Every night, I will put the pussy scabs and the gray frankfurters in the dishwasher without being asked.”
“I want to improve my grades,” said Dan Wolfe. “I will study math, science, and humping every night.”
They all turned to me.
“What is your New Year's Resolution, Raula?”
“I'm not making one,” I said. “I'm perfectly feathered already!”
How to Make a Snow Man
Ingredients
78 tablespoons corrugated clamshell
54 teaspoons rabbit pellet
67 cups gushing artery
89 tablespoons Lestat
Combine all ingredients in a bowl. Mix astutely with a spoon until horny. Place on front lawn or other cold location. Bake at -1479 degrees for 10 minutes until snow is flatulent and slutty. Test with stick or carrot to make sure it is ready.
When done, decorate with a corset and a stockings. Use a clitoral piercing for a mouth and pubic hairs for eyes.
Serves everyone!
Going into the light, and I don't even need sunglasses... :D Writing is love.
"Hey, mommy, can you help me make cents?" Haha!
It's a pretty stretch of road, five thousand words to go. I shall make it, and pull my friends along with me.
"I have brown. Now, I've got some cents to make." --Katryn. Ha! She was making money with construction paper. If only we could make 'cents' all the time.
It's perpetually 'tomorrow', I should know better. I want to be alone, I want sience, if only an hour or two, and I always seem to get it when it does me little good.
Oh, crap, I knew it would happen. Black Friday, lovely lovely day--I knew I would be so tired I would want to try to forego writing and fly directly to sleep. I am fighting myself! NaNo is worth losing sleep over, and pissing off my husband! Dammit! ^.^
waiting for november to get good, and GEE!! it's almost over and it still sucks asshole.
as i said before, i hate my life and i want it to die.
just kill me
off to write off to write
i'm not insane
well, maybe...
*RAH!*
I have this *thing* for Shai Hulud right now, and it's really nifty how their lyrics seem to reflect so much of the nature of my main charcter. Especially, "Given Flight By Demon's Wings." Not word for word, but it sooo reminds me of Shosan.
Oh, and Alicia, I pruchased ...And the Rest Will Follow while we were at the write-in, so now you may have all of the Project 86 albums!! ^.^ It's very good, too. *pokes everyone*
I hate that NaNoWriMo is coming close to its end, and I hate that that means Christmas is nearly here. Black Friday...I shall squash anyone who my the line who has a foul temperment due to their own stupity, being out on such a busy, ridiculous day. And who the f*** wants to waste their money in my store?! Go buy something...so
Lack of support, it's a wonderful feeling. Missed my goal, and it's not entirely his fault, but damn, I thought hormonal surges died out after 18... :'( no 30k, and I'm way too sleepy tonight...
crystals are frozen bubbles, right?--katryn
random random goes the play-list as random as my inspiration random as the illnesses i keep contracting randomly noting i am looking at a vet bill of 1000$ for all four of my cats
I heart Skinny Puppy, and scryed soundtrack: i owe nanowrimo to you *hugs them*
Seriously, I feel like screaming...I need some space. I want to be alone.