Okay, below is my enstallment. ^.^ It's not as funny as [moonlitawakening]'s but I gave it a go. LOL! I cannot wait until she gets her '1000 years of pain!' And she'll like, by gob!! ;)
^.^
"It's not by chance that I met you," Kakashi whispered into her ear. "But don't expect me to be punctual--I'll let you in on that straight off." He smiled at her, propelling any doubt from her. This guy was serious. And so was she, she would see his face. She would be the first.
She arrived at the precise hour. Lauren planned keep her time a little bit better than Hatake-san. Looking back, who would have guessed that she would have happened upon him at the exotic pet store while she was buying grooming supplies for her panther the day before.
[ Flashback ]
Brushes and food--she browsed idly, never seeing the mysterious ninja enter the store. She caught his eye while he was headed to the newstand, searching out his 'favorite' novellettes. Being captivated beyond belief, wondering if this lady would care to catch Chronicles of Riddick sometime and also curious to see what kind of pet she kept--it must be interesting, only befitting such a fabulous person.
He followned her with grand stealth, and much to his surprise she entered the exoctic cat corner of the store. Heh...
He materialed behind her, and said, "Well, I am a ddog-kind of person myself.."
Lauren's heart jumped at the sudden voice in her ear. The soothing, carefree tones of an unfamiliar man. She had shrieked and everone was staring at the two of them. She peeked back to see just who had so oddly chosen to startle her.
One very delighted eye peeped at her, and this masked man who disagreed with her choice of pets was smiling all too pleasantly at her. Maybe he was embarrassed by all the attention she had gathered toward them?
"Good afternoon," he said, still smiling. He stood back and rested his hans onto his hips.
"Good afternoon," Lauren said a little shyly. "Do I know you?" She asked slowly, quickly intrigued by this ninja whose face she could barely make out, with his forehead protector draped over his right eye, and the aforementioned mask.
"No, probably not." Yes, well, I can ask her now, better now than to wait, and if she says 'no' then I can always hypnotize her...he thought to himself with high hope. Either way, he would be taking her to see Chronicles of Riddick. "You know, if you leave your little panther at home, would you care to see a great Vin Diesel flick with me?"
Lauren, not quite sure what to say, just nodded. How could she refuse, it seemed impossible.
"Great! I'll meet you here tomorrow afternoon." His voice was pleased.
But his one eye was finally open after all that smiling and it looked so...captivate
Part of the thrill of him, Lauren decided outside of his sudden appearance, was the pure lack of interest in his eye. His one eye...How odd, she mused. I wonder what is up with his other?
And then, he was gone in a 'whoosh,' leaving Lauren stunned.
She watched her back the entire walk home.
Kakashi--he cooked, CoR, secret scroll, panther
Lee--card, McDonalds, dolphin
Well, here's my beef..my dilemma, my bane...
It's THAT weekend approaching, the trip to New York to see my father in law off to his home country of Hungary. My mother in law suggested I go with her on this 9-12 hour trip. I told her I would if I could, but the more I think about it the more I want to shoot myself, as I have to work the next day....*sighs* Now, I try to back out, I try to suggest other courses of actions, but she keeps pushing to get me to go. And of course the guilt I promised I would not feel has emerged; it's ugly, it's nagging. Should I go, or should I not? Damn it all...And I try to talk to Michael about--you know, it's his mother, and it's my insanity, so you'd think he might have some words of wisdom to share. But what do I get when I ask him...I get him staring at Mythbusters, not saying anything. Damn it damn it damn it! I am on the verge of insanity--with my apartment, with money, with myself, and with this impending drive of doom, adn now I have this guilt hovering...hov
Rin has had her kittens. The first one looks like mom and dad, little tiger stripes, the second looks more cloudy but still the browns and blacks of tabby-dom, repeat second for third and THEN the fourth..wow! It was a little white kitty, it looks like we might, possibly get our little Siamesie...hop
wow, one could swim in some of the blue whales' blood vessels...
*watches a deep ocean special and listens to inuyasha sndtrk. simultaneously
KAtryn: I guess Thucydides will read newspapers now, huh?
Laura: Why?
Katryn: Because he's the daddy!!
"If she was the king, she'd be the queen, Daddy."--Katry
five finger trouble
I, Laura , was sitting at home flipping through the February edition of Playboy , when I thought to myself, what the Snuffulufugus am I doing? It was Friday night and I was sitting at home alone? I think not. So, I called Michael and Geaorge W. Bush . Well, they were busy bloating tonight. So, I decided to call Indira Ghandi . Together we could figure out something to do. We decided to meet at The Pit of Hell at about 8 o' clock. Well, I got dressed. I decided to wear my Salmon thong and my beasty purple polyster jumpsuit . I grabbed my chaffed skin and headed out the door. When I arrived, Indira Ghandi was standing there in the middle of the parking lot wearing this Boy George and The Culture Club t-shirt. Hurray for Socks! , this was so flaccid . Well, I stepped out of the car and headed towards my friend. As we were trying to decide what to do, we heard these police sirens. Angelina Jolie came running out of Ambiance with his/her arms full of stale fruitcakes . Thats when it hit us! Lets take advantage of this opportunity and go get some freebies. We ran into the store, grabbed 78 Laura eggs , 69 Saggy boobies and a vacuumed-dryed
Flying Through Lunch
This evening, Alicia tried out for the Ballroom dancing team at school. Alicia worked very hard, flailing every morning and mooing every day after school. She was sure to be a shoe-in!
That was what we all thought until this afternoon at lunch. Alicia was carrying her lunch tray filled with cabbages, green cheeses, and bear stomachs. She walked over to sit with the captain of the team, Lauren. Suddenly, Alicia got a terrible itch on her hangnail. She tried to scratch it, but instead she tripped over a wildebeast and sent the lunch tray flying across the cafeteria, where it landed on Lauren's emu and made a complete mess!
Alicia was so embarrassed. She was sure she would never make the team. What she didn't know was that a similar story happened to Lauren when she was trying out for the team. Lauren accidentally threw suppers all over the coach.
At tryouts this evening, Alicia did great and Lauren personally congratulated her on becoming the newest member of the team.
Twelve Holly Days
On the first day of Kwanza, Mr. Karovich gave to me
a staple in a pear tree.
On the second day of Kwanza, Mr. Karovich gave to me
two porky telephone cords, and a staple in a pear tree.
On the third day of Kwanza, Mr. Karovich gave to me
three north piglets, two porky telephone cords, and a staple in a pear tree.
On the fourth day of Kwanza, Mr. Karovich gave to me
four slimy roasted nuts, three north piglets, two porky telephone cords, and a staple in a pear tree.
On the fifth day of Kwanza, Mr. Karovich gave to me
five dirty worms, four slimy roasted nuts, three north piglets, two porky telephone cords, and a staple in a pear tree.
On the sixth day of Kwanza, Mr. Karovich gave to me
six kinky sex toys snorkling, five dirty worms, four slimy roasted nuts, three north piglets, two porky telephone cords, and a staple in a pear tree.
On the seventh day of Kwanza, Mr. Karovich gave to me
seven baboons swimming, six kinky sex toys snorkling, five dirty worms, four slimy roasted nuts, three north piglets, two porky telephone cords, and a staple in a pear tree.
On the eighth day of Kwanza, Mr. Karovich gave to me
eight saint bernards tickling, seven baboons swimming, six kinky sex toys snorkling, five dirty worms, four slimy roasted nuts, three north piglets, two porky telephone cords, and a staple in a pear tree.
On the ninth day of Kwanza, Mr. Karovich gave to me
nine porpoises dancing, eight saint bernards tickling, seven baboons swimming, six kinky sex toys snorkling, five dirty worms, four slimy roasted nuts, three north piglets, two porky telephone cords, and a staple in a pear tree.
On the tenth day of Kwanza, Mr. Karovich gave to me
ten dung beetles leaping, nine porpoises dancing, eight saint bernards tickling, seven baboons swimming, six kinky sex toys snorkling, five dirty worms, four slimy roasted nuts, three north piglets, two porky telephone cords, and a staple in a pear tree.
On the eleventh day of Kwanza, Mr. Karovich gave to me
eleven escarole dripping, ten dung beetles leaping, nine porpoises dancing, eight saint bernards tickling, seven baboons swimming, six kinky sex toys snorkling, five dirty worms, four slimy roasted nuts, three north piglets, two porky telephone cords, and a staple in a pear tree.
On the twelfth day of Kwanza, Mr. Karovich gave to me
twelve shafts throbbing, eleven escarole dripping, ten dung beetles leaping, nine porpoises dancing, eight saint bernards tickling, seven baboons swimming, six kinky sex toys snorkling, five dirty worms, four slimy roasted nuts, three north piglets, two porky telephone cords, and a staple in a pear tree.
Holiday Sing-Along
Sing to the tune of “Jingle Bells.”
licking through the woods
In a one-tapeworm open unicycle,
Over the fields we go,
stroking all the way.
moose on bob-tail ring,
Making spirits bright,
What fun it is to irrigate and fornicate
A sleighing song tonight!
Jingle deer, jingle deer,
Jingle all the way!
O what fun it is to engorge
In a one-tapeworm open unicycle.
fish!
Jingle deer, jingle deer,
Jingle all the way!
O what fun it is to engorge
In a one-tapeworm open unicycle.
Snow Games
My name is Jack and I am a caribou. Winter is my favorite time of the year because I love playing in the snow! To get ready for winter, I make it a point to grow an extra slinky coat of fur to keep me warm. This coat lets me play all sorts of winter games outside with my person, Dan.
I am really sexist at a lot of the games people play. I like a snowball fight, except I call it Magic Snowball because I like to catch the snowball in my urethra and then eat it. It's cold and really tired. Sometimes my person fools me and the snowball drops on the ground and I can't find it in the rest of the snow. Then I just eat any snow—it's just as good.
I also like to go iceskating. I follow my person on to the ice. I watch him masturbate around, then I move my paws around, and soon I can salivate across the ice! I wish the Olympic judges could see me, I am very graceful!
I love winter and I can't wait for the next snowstorm. I sure hope my person has a snow day off from school so we can play all my favorite games!
New Year's Resolutions
It was New Year's Day, and I was watching cherry pitball on TV with my friends Lauren Aubel the male Uni, Amanda Fittipaldo, Krisu, and Dan Wolfe.
“Hey, Amanda Fittipaldo,” Krisu said, “What is your New Year's resolution?”
“I am going to learn to play the bent flutophone,” she said. “Then I am going to play it at nursing homes. I am sure it will make the residents sluggish.”
“That's tight,” said Lauren Aubel the male Uni. “I am going to volunteer in a shelter for homeless muskox and mudpuppies. They are so cute. How about you, Krisu?”
“I am going to help out around the house,” he said. “Every night, I will put the pussy scabs and the gray frankfurters in the dishwasher without being asked.”
“I want to improve my grades,” said Dan Wolfe. “I will study math, science, and humping every night.”
They all turned to me.
“What is your New Year's Resolution, Raula?”
“I'm not making one,” I said. “I'm perfectly feathered already!”
How to Make a Snow Man
Ingredients
78 tablespoons corrugated clamshell
54 teaspoons rabbit pellet
67 cups gushing artery
89 tablespoons Lestat
Combine all ingredients in a bowl. Mix astutely with a spoon until horny. Place on front lawn or other cold location. Bake at -1479 degrees for 10 minutes until snow is flatulent and slutty. Test with stick or carrot to make sure it is ready.
When done, decorate with a corset and a stockings. Use a clitoral piercing for a mouth and pubic hairs for eyes.
Serves everyone!
Going into the light, and I don't even need sunglasses... :D Writing is love.
"Hey, mommy, can you help me make cents?" Haha!
It's a pretty stretch of road, five thousand words to go. I shall make it, and pull my friends along with me.