After everyday,after every moment in my life i feel like nothing has changed..Unworthy to do what is desired,and i feel like life is just so boring, i dont have much that is to regret. I want to feel for once that my life is moving and everything is fine,but i can't seem to ever feel like anything is to want. I want to feel beautiful,i want to feel happy,every year has been filled with fucking drama ( i know you were wondering when i was gonna curse,well there u have it) and although i try to satisfy others,it just seems not good enough.What should i do? No one could help me, i tried praying,nothing works for me, i give up on it all,one day more things will fail,as i fall deep into depression. People can talk about depression all they want,but they make it seem so overated, and then when someone actually has been/is depressed,it gets ignored.So why would anyone care about what i have to say? No one's gonna fully understand/read this anyway...ever.

People have accused or described Goths as being:

Depressed,
Unusually bigoted,
Violent,
Suicidal,
Involved in illegal drugs,
Vampires or believe themselves to be vampires,
Sado-masochists,
Satanists,
Musicians, painters, and other artists,
Computer programmers (although there seem to be a lot of them)
Wearers of black (some wear white and gunmetal),
Dyers of their hair,
Users of white makeup

Hmm another day,nothing to do....no one to be with....no one who cares...no one to talk to...no one to trust....

just no one *smiles*

What is it that makes me feel the way i do? I feel so empty and i have some reason as to what makes me feel depressed and neglected. Sometimes i wonder what makes life so wonderful to others,but shitty to me. But of course i could talk about this issue all day and come out with no result,so i guess i will decide to live without an answer. I've lived this far without one,so i can go many more ( thats if i decide to keep myself alive). *sits in my corner and writes on the wall "now i'm nothing"*

Well i'm kind of sad/pissed off right now,because i found out that some fag (not literally,but after this story you'd agree) punched my gf's face. Just because she broke up with him!..she says she was scared and i'm very mad about it.Any guy who feels that he has the need to hit on a girl is just a wussy (i'd say worse,but w/e).She says that she told some of her friends,so i guess their supposed to go do something to him or w/e.*screams* thats not even part of the reason why i hate humanity...