The pain I feel is something so real,I"m happy but something lies await to end it.I feel confused,twisted and bruised.The temptation of dying is so imaginable,if i did I would leave these few i feel that love me and the many that hate me. Down in deep sorrow,i don't feel good for tomorrow. To feel that no one understands me and turn around to see a friend,It is You! says my heart-how would my heart know your cared? I guess it knows more than i thought.
So glad your here,am I.Your the loving friend I always pondered for,what more could I request. In earlier times it was peaceful between us,but now there is more movement we encounter.Thank you doesnt mean much but it could with one single touch..

By Me (mallory)

a picture of me...^^

I'm tired of thinking life's just gonna be the way i planned,if to have any plans that will work.I begin to think am i living just to test my misery and how long i can endure it? I think the answer is finally what i thought it was,and there's nothing i can do about it..
I can't keep thinking prayers are gonna work,what faith do i have,or i thought i had.Life maybe short,but it was fucking stupid the whole time,nothing ever was simple,not even the simpliest things were possible.
Has anyone ever wondered why i feel the way i do? Has anyone ever stopped and asked how i was feeling? fuck no,and i dun think if they ever did ask,that they cared...its become too common to say how are u doing...do u really care how i'm doing?
then again, u will never know,cuz i dont intend to tell u shit...u dont deserve what i have to say..as if it was important to u anyway.....

I want you to listen and i want to listen also,
A feeling of love is the possibility of reason-
A dark hate is the impossibility of experience
You don't know what life will ever bring,but you
can know what to be prepared for.

Are you the kind they talk about? Are you the one who makes happiness possible,protection for those who crave it,without doubt?

There should be no reason for me to not trust you,your the one they say is true,and the one nobody can detain from me.What would i know about love if u weren't here? would i know much about how it feels to not doubt anything?

I no longer wonder these things,because i have an angel combined with all those elements.

FUNERAL FOR A FRIEND


"Bullet Theory"


Who shot the bullet
That killed the air tonight
Without a thought, without a reason
Take a gun called hate
Up against your heart
And pull the trigger


It's over, it's only over
It's only over when we say


The smoke and mirrors
The lies that wind your tongue
Is this oppression what we wanted or what we needed?
As we function on impatience
And our patience is wearing thin
And live a lie that will destroy us all


Back and to the left come on
And shoot motherfucker


You like this baby?
You want to dance a little longer?

I really think the Avril thing is overated now..its annoying,who gives a fuck?! Talk about something more intresting.

"Slipped Away"

Na na, na na na, na na
I miss you, miss you so bad
I don't forget you, oh it's so sad
I hope you can hear me
I remember it clearly

The day you slipped away
Was the day I found it won't be the same
Ooooh

Na na la la la na na

I didn't get around to kiss you
Goodbye on the hand
I wish that I could see you again
I know that I can't

Oooooh
I hope you can hear me cause I remember it clearly

The day you slipped away
Was the day I found it won't be the same
Ooooh

I had my wake up
Won't you wake up
I keep asking why
And I can't take it
It wasn't fake
It happened, you passed by

Now your gone, now your gone
There you go, there you go
Somewhere I can't bring you back
Now your gone, now your gone
There you go, there you go,
Somewhere your not coming back

The day you slipped away
Was the day i found it won't be the same noo..
The day you slipped away
Was the day that i found it won't be the same oooh...

Nah nah, nah nah nah, nah nah
I miss you

After everyday,after every moment in my life i feel like nothing has changed..Unworthy to do what is desired,and i feel like life is just so boring, i dont have much that is to regret. I want to feel for once that my life is moving and everything is fine,but i can't seem to ever feel like anything is to want. I want to feel beautiful,i want to feel happy,every year has been filled with fucking drama ( i know you were wondering when i was gonna curse,well there u have it) and although i try to satisfy others,it just seems not good enough.What should i do? No one could help me, i tried praying,nothing works for me, i give up on it all,one day more things will fail,as i fall deep into depression. People can talk about depression all they want,but they make it seem so overated, and then when someone actually has been/is depressed,it gets ignored.So why would anyone care about what i have to say? No one's gonna fully understand/read this anyway...ever.

After everyday,after every moment in my life i feel like nothing has changed..Unworthy to do what is desired,and i feel like life is just so boring, i dont have much that is to regret. I want to feel for once that my life is moving and everything is fine,but i can't seem to ever feel like anything is to want. I want to feel beautiful,i want to feel happy,every year has been filled with fucking drama ( i know you were wondering when i was gonna curse,well there u have it) and although i try to satisfy others,it just seems not good enough.What should i do? No one could help me, i tried praying,nothing works for me, i give up on it all,one day more things will fail,as i fall deep into depression. People can talk about depression all they want,but they make it seem so overated, and then when someone actually has been/is depressed,it gets ignored.So why would anyone care about what i have to say? No one's gonna fully understand/read this anyway...ever.

People have accused or described Goths as being:

Depressed,
Unusually bigoted,
Violent,
Suicidal,
Involved in illegal drugs,
Vampires or believe themselves to be vampires,
Sado-masochists,
Satanists,
Musicians, painters, and other artists,
Computer programmers (although there seem to be a lot of them)
Wearers of black (some wear white and gunmetal),
Dyers of their hair,
Users of white makeup

Hmm another day,nothing to do....no one to be with....no one who cares...no one to talk to...no one to trust....

just no one *smiles*

What is it that makes me feel the way i do? I feel so empty and i have some reason as to what makes me feel depressed and neglected. Sometimes i wonder what makes life so wonderful to others,but shitty to me. But of course i could talk about this issue all day and come out with no result,so i guess i will decide to live without an answer. I've lived this far without one,so i can go many more ( thats if i decide to keep myself alive). *sits in my corner and writes on the wall "now i'm nothing"*

Well i'm kind of sad/pissed off right now,because i found out that some fag (not literally,but after this story you'd agree) punched my gf's face. Just because she broke up with him!..she says she was scared and i'm very mad about it.Any guy who feels that he has the need to hit on a girl is just a wussy (i'd say worse,but w/e).She says that she told some of her friends,so i guess their supposed to go do something to him or w/e.*screams* thats not even part of the reason why i hate humanity...