i got bored :)

*sighs* well another day,nothing new going on....finding out new things everyday :) gotta love it. *rolls eyes* i already know ppl are not going to change,not that i can do anything about it,but gotdamn,do ppl always have to be so fucking snobby and change?
you tell me,what do i have to do,to feel like i can trust again?

*Smiles like everythings okay*
I love it when ppl plann things,and the result ends up hurting you..I FUCKING LOVE IT.Then again,ppl aren't what they make themselves seem...IF your feeling guilty,(you know who you are),then it's because the person is probably you.Can't be guilty unless you know you did it yourself.

I WANT THIS CD,SO FVCKING BAD,AND I CAN'T FIND IT FOR SHIT.

Well since this is my diary,and no one's going to read it anyway,i can pretty much say what i want,right? I thought so.
Well okay i'm not with someone anymore,and obviously it doesn't matter to the person.I guess i was trying too hard,or not hard enough.I'm confused on everything right now,and it really fucking hurts,i just wish i could change everything,i want to be with that person so bad,it's hard trying to get over your first love.Well now since i don't matter anymore,i guess like my friend said,i'll just have to get over it.How do you get over someone like that you thought loved you,and you always loved?
I guess i wasn't enough,and i really can't blame the person for what they did,i was too selfish,and now that everythings done with,i can now stop worrying about how i really feel...
No matter what,like i said,I don't care what happens,i'm gonna love that person,and i'm really sorry for doing what i did,if i could have that one chance again,there's no doubt that i would take it.I'm never going to forgive myself for what i did...I LOVE YOU.

Dear fucking diary,
i hate you,and you hate me.Okay i feel better now..
They say all it takes is one cut,one bullet,one jump,too many pills to make it go away...but then it decides that it wants to stay,i can't pray,no,not today.
I need it....i want it....i have to have this feeling go away,it doesn't need to stay,*bleeding tears* let it go away...fuck me! and all that comes along with me....let it die....
make the cut deeper,make the bullet sink in,make the jump worth taking,make the pills dissolve into me....
let all that is within me fade,they'll be happier that way....

Sometimes i think i'm done with it,but then i realize that even if it ended,i'd be regretting it.
I feel like i'm being ignored,at most cost,but then it feels like i'm selfish.When i come online,i'm ignored,usually i'm the one who has to message that person,and why shoould i always have to do it.
When i see the person in other wiki's,they have fun talking to other ppl,but when it's just me around that person,it's silent..I deserve a conversation dont i? least i thought i did.
Sometimes you think you know a person.....then it all turns around.

my chemical romance
their so awesome.


the used

ppl helping with restaurant..

[Lad Darkness]
[kara.]

...that's it so far.

*sits there wondering why*

eh i tried,and i failed...
least i tried to help,but i dont think it'll matter...
why i say anything, i dont know,i'm probably hoping they'd pay attention....
you cant make someone happy,they have to want it for themselves...

and i wonder....mallory? why do i put myself in these situations? dont know,never will...some questions won't be answered and some answers will never be questioned...
you can say,"fuck the world",but the worlds just going to say "fuck you too" back....and i cant let that happen,i won't be the weak one and let them win over me.I have to be the one who makes each day something worth living for...there's someone out there who knows what i mean..

[....suprise! it's a sad diary,again...]

http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://dbz.icequake.net/share/img/comics/johnny_the_homicidal_maniac/vol5/johnny_the_homicidal_maniac_5_p05.jpg&;imgrefurl=http://dbz.icequake.net/share/img/comics/johnny_the_homicidal_maniac/vol5/&h=1520&w=979&sz=392&tbnid=8fUwDjlnLBMJ:&tbnh=149&tbnw=96&start=12&prev=/images%3Fq%3Djohnny%2Bthe%2Bhomicidal%2Bmaniac%26hl%3Den%26lr%3D%26sa%3DG

MR SNOWMAN =-O

looking for something? ^^ there's my pic, and if it doesnt show up,let me know.

finally got my picture ^^

Don't you just wish there were ways you could save someone? Wishing you knew the right words to say,and when to say them?So many times i really wish i could say something to help,but then i'd be hypocritic,because i don't follow my own opinions at sometimes.I can't even help myself,when it comes to shit like that.If only....

What sign of affection are you?

and this is what i got....
kiss on the lips - you're sweet and simple but quite daring. you move for the kill confidently knowing the other person wants the same thing.

Lighthouses
The ties that bind can gag and I'm bound by boundless insignificance. Set yourself on fire if you can't feel this burn. Did you run out of ink so soon? Let my roots be my guide- and my heart as my eyes. This light will lead you home. There's not enough apathy in my soul: my heart refuses to grow cold. Just remember- you could fake this feeling forever. Nothing is sacred where hearts aren't beating (Where is your spine?)...If my dreams must die, let them die in me, for the sake of understanding what I could not see. For what I'll never say, for what I'll never be: this was never for you, it was always for me. You'll never see: We're just flesh after all.

My love exists through my relationships with my friends whose bonds wouldn't be as strong if it weren't for the one thing we all have in common; the love of the freedom music gives us. It has strengthened my compassion towards them and my family, as well as people who live other lives. This is a somewhat bitter response to those who corrupt one of, if not the most pure form of love there is. It nauseates me to know that it is so simple, so pure, and all in our control, and yet it is infected so easily. I've been humbled by the thoughts this experience has let me have- the people I've met, talked to, connected with. The places we've been/plan to go to. Living out a dream is a humbling experience, and at the same time, an extremely fragile one.

Hey it's me mallory,i havent wrote in my diary in ages,so i am going to do it now....i just wanted to tell all my friends that do read my diary,that i thank you for always listening to me and being beside me when i needed you,and even when i didnt,lol,well not like that,lol.But n e hoo,i LOVE ALL OF YA! ^_______^

i want dreams to come true so bad,but what made me think they would? a house is not a home where i am right now,so much drama,and little peace. I'm so angry inside right now, i dont know wut to do, nor what to say. I can't continue to make myself think everything is okay. So until i feel complete.....(yeah whenever that is)...then i'll be back on elftown. Until then,i dont know what to feel.