What do you do when it feels like what you use to have is lost?
When it feels like ppl you thought loved you begin to put you under someone else.
How do you explain that to someone,without feeling like it'll get worse?

Not much i should expect of ppl.Sometimes i feel bad when i'm not being treated like i usually have been,i'm just so spoiled,sometimes i like attention.I'm sure alot of ppl do.
There's someone out there that i use to be with,and she's so special to me,even as a friend she and i have close conversations with her.She knows who she is,and what she means to me.I still love her,yes,but i'm with someone else right now,who i love so freakin much.Although i don't get to really spend time with,but only time will tell when we actually will be able to communicate more often.AS usual it might be my fault,and it might not be,but if it is,i'll take the responsibility for it.
I don't mind admitting to being wrong.

Well since no one's going to read this,then i can pretty much put all i want,hehe...well i didn't do much today,and i'm still bored,but i had lots of sugar today,so all things should be good by now.OH! and i bought the[ funeral for a friend   ] CD...so i'm happy bout that becuz ^^ the cd is really fuckin awesome.....like woo hoo *preppy voice*

YAY,look at my art,mommy!

VEGAS PICS

http://www.smarliedals.eclipse.co.uk/sparrow.htm
www.depp.ca

my girlfriend,[Slayer Chick] made this for me,she's my true love.

she's my everything,i love her so much,
even a single word,my spirit feels lifted,
her calls are worth my time,
she's very divine,and a love of mine.
i dont have anything to worry about with her,nothing,
i can trust her,we always talk about everything,
i dont have to worry about if she loves me,
and another important thing,she's not a whore.

:)

cool huh?

i got bored :)

*sighs* well another day,nothing new going on....finding out new things everyday :) gotta love it. *rolls eyes* i already know ppl are not going to change,not that i can do anything about it,but gotdamn,do ppl always have to be so fucking snobby and change?
you tell me,what do i have to do,to feel like i can trust again?

*Smiles like everythings okay*
I love it when ppl plann things,and the result ends up hurting you..I FUCKING LOVE IT.Then again,ppl aren't what they make themselves seem...IF your feeling guilty,(you know who you are),then it's because the person is probably you.Can't be guilty unless you know you did it yourself.

I WANT THIS CD,SO FVCKING BAD,AND I CAN'T FIND IT FOR SHIT.

Well since this is my diary,and no one's going to read it anyway,i can pretty much say what i want,right? I thought so.
Well okay i'm not with someone anymore,and obviously it doesn't matter to the person.I guess i was trying too hard,or not hard enough.I'm confused on everything right now,and it really fucking hurts,i just wish i could change everything,i want to be with that person so bad,it's hard trying to get over your first love.Well now since i don't matter anymore,i guess like my friend said,i'll just have to get over it.How do you get over someone like that you thought loved you,and you always loved?
I guess i wasn't enough,and i really can't blame the person for what they did,i was too selfish,and now that everythings done with,i can now stop worrying about how i really feel...
No matter what,like i said,I don't care what happens,i'm gonna love that person,and i'm really sorry for doing what i did,if i could have that one chance again,there's no doubt that i would take it.I'm never going to forgive myself for what i did...I LOVE YOU.

Dear fucking diary,
i hate you,and you hate me.Okay i feel better now..
They say all it takes is one cut,one bullet,one jump,too many pills to make it go away...but then it decides that it wants to stay,i can't pray,no,not today.
I need it....i want it....i have to have this feeling go away,it doesn't need to stay,*bleeding tears* let it go away...fuck me! and all that comes along with me....let it die....
make the cut deeper,make the bullet sink in,make the jump worth taking,make the pills dissolve into me....
let all that is within me fade,they'll be happier that way....

Sometimes i think i'm done with it,but then i realize that even if it ended,i'd be regretting it.
I feel like i'm being ignored,at most cost,but then it feels like i'm selfish.When i come online,i'm ignored,usually i'm the one who has to message that person,and why shoould i always have to do it.
When i see the person in other wiki's,they have fun talking to other ppl,but when it's just me around that person,it's silent..I deserve a conversation dont i? least i thought i did.
Sometimes you think you know a person.....then it all turns around.