Well right now i'm feeling so good,because i finally got to the point where i love my husband,richard,even more than ever. He and I are going to have so much fun when we see each other again,especially towards christmas time.
He's the love of my life and he lets me know that there is no other girl that he wants to be with,only me.
He's so damn hott and he's all mine,we're planning to move in together by next year and we're getting married,i thank God for him everyday and he never lets me down.
So this is to you richard,thanks for being there for me and caring for me,more than any guy ever has. Your the only man in my life that makes me feel satisfied,i love you so much,babe,and so does my family.
I know you have girls hit on you,but like you always say to me "your the only one i really love".

*sighs* well i'm so confused about how to feel,because i wish that i could just trust someone for once in my life.If someone was to tell me that my bf would be acting the way he has been a few months ago,i would be like "my bf?! no way",but now i'm starting to feel like i should believe what ppl are saying,well not everything.Hearing the things he has done while he was away for the weekend,really make me feel so worried. The things he's beginning to do,i'm starting to feel like why is this happening to me? aren't i doing my job as a gf? there's so many relationships i've been in and felt like nothing was there,and for once i feel like omg he's so the one for me.Then again i have doubts and questions that need to be answered.
maybe i'm not doing a good job as a gf,and maybe i should stop trying,but after a while i'll regret the fact that i gave up.

What do you do when it feels like what you use to have is lost?
When it feels like ppl you thought loved you begin to put you under someone else.
How do you explain that to someone,without feeling like it'll get worse?

Not much i should expect of ppl.Sometimes i feel bad when i'm not being treated like i usually have been,i'm just so spoiled,sometimes i like attention.I'm sure alot of ppl do.
There's someone out there that i use to be with,and she's so special to me,even as a friend she and i have close conversations with her.She knows who she is,and what she means to me.I still love her,yes,but i'm with someone else right now,who i love so freakin much.Although i don't get to really spend time with,but only time will tell when we actually will be able to communicate more often.AS usual it might be my fault,and it might not be,but if it is,i'll take the responsibility for it.
I don't mind admitting to being wrong.

Well since no one's going to read this,then i can pretty much put all i want,hehe...well i didn't do much today,and i'm still bored,but i had lots of sugar today,so all things should be good by now.OH! and i bought the[ funeral for a friend   ] CD...so i'm happy bout that becuz ^^ the cd is really fuckin awesome.....like woo hoo *preppy voice*

YAY,look at my art,mommy!

VEGAS PICS

http://www.smarliedals.eclipse.co.uk/sparrow.htm
www.depp.ca

my girlfriend,[Slayer Chick] made this for me,she's my true love.

she's my everything,i love her so much,
even a single word,my spirit feels lifted,
her calls are worth my time,
she's very divine,and a love of mine.
i dont have anything to worry about with her,nothing,
i can trust her,we always talk about everything,
i dont have to worry about if she loves me,
and another important thing,she's not a whore.

:)

cool huh?

i got bored :)

*sighs* well another day,nothing new going on....finding out new things everyday :) gotta love it. *rolls eyes* i already know ppl are not going to change,not that i can do anything about it,but gotdamn,do ppl always have to be so fucking snobby and change?
you tell me,what do i have to do,to feel like i can trust again?

*Smiles like everythings okay*
I love it when ppl plann things,and the result ends up hurting you..I FUCKING LOVE IT.Then again,ppl aren't what they make themselves seem...IF your feeling guilty,(you know who you are),then it's because the person is probably you.Can't be guilty unless you know you did it yourself.

I WANT THIS CD,SO FVCKING BAD,AND I CAN'T FIND IT FOR SHIT.

Well since this is my diary,and no one's going to read it anyway,i can pretty much say what i want,right? I thought so.
Well okay i'm not with someone anymore,and obviously it doesn't matter to the person.I guess i was trying too hard,or not hard enough.I'm confused on everything right now,and it really fucking hurts,i just wish i could change everything,i want to be with that person so bad,it's hard trying to get over your first love.Well now since i don't matter anymore,i guess like my friend said,i'll just have to get over it.How do you get over someone like that you thought loved you,and you always loved?
I guess i wasn't enough,and i really can't blame the person for what they did,i was too selfish,and now that everythings done with,i can now stop worrying about how i really feel...
No matter what,like i said,I don't care what happens,i'm gonna love that person,and i'm really sorry for doing what i did,if i could have that one chance again,there's no doubt that i would take it.I'm never going to forgive myself for what i did...I LOVE YOU.