Today has been been soo bad.. i feel like cutting again.. but i know if i do it wont help.. it doesnt anymore... it used to feel like i had sooo much pressure inside of me that if i just drew blood then all the pressure would escape and i wouldnt feel so bad.... i feel as if im torn in two... some one help....

well today sucked! well most pf the day! my friends Pippa and Mel [M e l i s s a] got suspended for writing on the wall in EYELINER "Satan Shall not enter here" pffttttttttt stupid Miss.Boyne i hate her soooooooooooooooooooooooo much y cant she die a horrible death?!?!?! She even LOCKED Pippa in a room for fucks sake!!!! what the fuck is up with that???? then heard about [Sombre]'s brother Mathew had his bag pissed on!!! my school fucking sucks!!! the guys who did that should die too!!!! Mathew is only small and vunerable.... he is so sweet.. that just enrages me soooooooooooooooooooooooooo much... well... now you know how i feel... *sighs* the rest of the day was OK...

today feeling worse about myself.... my self asteam is 0 my confidence is 0.... pff i think i look horrible... no one agrees thou... they all are strange.... pffffff that is all i can say... pfffffffff

pfff god today... reel bad day....

i wish i culd just run and run and run untill my heart burst.

if only.......

hehe going 2 a a kinda weird party thing..... hmmmm.... i will miss you lots chris!!! i love you!! hmmmm...... it was weird wen me and chris started 2 feel eachothers pain... weird... O.o mayb it s sign... but for wat eactl... hmmmm

helloooooo! just thought i would write in my diary!!!! muhahhahaahahhahahahaahahah! O.o

ok people im going on holiday on Friday, and im staying over my friends house on thursday! coz u kno im going on holiday with my friend! =P i will miss u all! and i love you all! especialy my hun *huggles and kisses* u kno who u r.... dunnp wat i will do, coz i will miss you soooo much! but i will b back with prezzies for all my friends that live near me! =D and lots of photos!!!! yeh!! more pics of me and Jenni!!!!! =P hmm well today is practically the only day i can talk if i think about it.... and later im packing!!! so u kno : busy busy busy!!!! =P lol well i hope u dont miss me too much! and dont forget me!!!! byeeeeee! xxxxx

well i have a new picture and only [Cookieholic] and [Suzu] have commented on it.... probs means that i should take it down... pity i quite liked it.. well kinda!

Tinkerbell loves you all!!!!! including the person i love - kno who u r...

Who knows wat love holds for me..... it always seems 2ruin my life.... but now i am alone i reilise that i should never of ended it.... I love him.... i just hope i havent chrushed the last bit of love that he has left.... *cries and looks at the name carved into my arm....*

maybe there is hope....