guys are scum. they use and cheat... I cant believe he could make me feel so bad...so shit. at the very moment i want to die. but im not going to let him win. just so he knows.
I
weeeeeel yestarday was my birthday, i had about 15 people all crammed into my sitting room, we all went mental, i had a singing tiara sitting on my head lots of badges and a singing sign that wouldnt shut up. I got loads of....weird presants from my friends, but i expexted nothing less. i fear i may be fat at the end of the month, the amount of chocolate i have now got. We all watched the grudge, now imagine EVERYBODY high on sugar waching a horror movie. thats what you get, we were screaming and everything... weel. me and kelly were =P , me and kelly were sat on a 2 seater sofa with ryan, we were si very squashed. but it made it more fun =P. ryan is so funny to watch a movie with, "Forget about the bloody phoooone!!" lmao. ahhh the good time. unfortunatly the room was a tip =P confetti, balloons, rubbish, empty drink bottles, everywhere. Lol.
I Am Currently....
texting Jordan. He is on holiday and will be back on saturday. i wish he couldve been there yestarday. =( man i miss him. he really misses me too. over two days we have currently sent eachother 32 txts. 32x12=£3.84 spent from £10. *sigh* weeel i better be going out now. been on the computer WAY too long.
well im currently sitting in Jordans room <3 its kinda scary. he has gone to get his friend Darrel. so im left here on my own O.O. his house is all empty and big.... O.O
Urghg. I give up on friends who dont seem to listen. If they ever want my help, then tough. they arent getting it.
Welll... my wonderful SAT exams have started. dont even ask me what the hell it means... I had 2 bloody hours of crapy science. It wasnt THAT bad i understood mainly everything. hehe on the other row next to me was one of my good friends, Danny. Lol he kept trying to copy my paper but i was always 2 pages ahead of him. And i thought HE was the Smart one =P
Welll it was my lurvely mellies [M e l i s s a] birthday today =D been at hers since about 3:30pm after school. just got in and its now 9:19pm. wow. thats a hell of alot of time. wont work it exactly HOW much. i have a whole flipping day of Maths exams tommorow. urghgh. someone shoot me. Anyway, back to mellie. Man we had fun, it was Kite [Hung From A Heartstring], Michael [embracethebeast _Gangrel], Lois [Pitch_me_Please?] and of course mellie [M e l i s s a], and me. man ity was fun, ahh flour fights, weird kitchen cleaning stuff fights, deoerant fights, lmao. me and mellie went to Southwold, to see jordan, we walked to his house and looked in his bedroom window and low ands behold there was jordan in his work uniform! HEHEHEHEHEHE Homebase. Green and Orange, it was soooooooooooo funny. then he told us to go away because he was tired. so we went to the park and sat and talked. then waked some. waking past some *cough* FINE guys =P oh well i Love Jordan, hes the sexiest in my opinion. =D well this is dragging on and on. Told you all you need to know!
Well yeh... A Lot of changes have happened. Think I mite fill you in...
Well, Me and Jordan broke up. The next day he and "Bob" went out.... Notice the PAST tense. lol. Well yestarday me, mel, jordan, shane and darrel went to the Snooker Hall and played.. you will never guess... some Snooker. the whole time me and Jordan were flirting =D. Even though he was going out with kelly wich was harsh i know. But who can deney physical attraction?
Well after that evening (it rocked) i went online and Bob told me she was gonna break up with him because she was still in love with her Ex and she knew i was still in love with Jordan. I was stunned. I had told her to try it with jordan, to see what happened that very same day in one of our classes at school. But jordan got online, i went offline, came back on and he had told me and kelly had broken up. i knew it was gonna happen. he told me it was because she still loved danny, and he still loved ME you have no idea how happy i was. =D and so we talked, and talked and talked. And he asked me back out =D WOW i was sooo incredibly happy,of course i said yes. And this happened yestarday.
Now ive just come in from seeing Mel, Kite and Jordan. It was soo fun. And being in his arms was the best thing today. It made my Day =D
arghghg. i got my haircut. i dont think i like it. its a hell of alot shorter. pfft. mean hair dressers. they stole my hair =(
really happy =) jordan and me still together =) owchy. I hurt my wrist and streched the muscle in my leg. All in one day. stupid Gym Class... Stupid horse vault thing. ive sprained my wrist. =( grrrrrrr....
Well now im going out with a guy called Jordan. Hes really good looking and has a great personality. everything a girl could dream of. When im lying in his arms i feel soo special. =) We both miss eachother permanitly when we arent together. Im staying over his house next weekend. =). But last night tim stayed over jordans. and while tim was at his house jordan came to see me. we kissed etc etc. but when tim came to call for jordan at mine so to to jordans house. His face looked so... lonely and jealus. After all he is my Ex. but usually i feel bad. but i didnt. I was happy that i was happy. and nothing is going to ruin it. Im just hoping that Jordan doesnt feel guilty and dump me because of it. please dont let that happen! I really think im falling for Jordan. BIG TIME. im not going to let tim ands his feelings for me, detroy my relatuonship with jordan =)
man im tired. lots of people are saying they like my eyes. well i guess thats a good thing, i always say:
Eyes are the window to the soul.
yup...anyway. today.. hmm... well i got a senior mangement detention. which is basically a detention after school, with a senior member of staff....
in other words. THE OLD PEOPLE. *cough* yup... moving on.
well my friend's dad took her away from us yestarday. All yje way to fucking Banbury. that sucks. we always have so much fun. We are complete oposites, but weve known eachother for so long. HOPEFULLY if her tite ass dad will let her, she can stay at mine on the weekend. and she gets to see her boyfriend. Sure i talk to her on MSN and shit. but it isnt the same as laughing togther and shit. Well ones thing for sure. Kelly i WILL get you back into Bicester our scabby town even if it kills me. untill then Miss you!
Well lately at school i cant help staring at him. he stands practically oposite our group and sometimes comes over to hang with me and and friends. He is funny but when I get hurt he has this whole new side about him, caring, gentle. *sigh* i wish i knew how he felt. Sometimes i catch him looking at me, but i shrug it off as me imaging it, thinking "Oh georgie dont be stupid he is looking at someone else".... grrrr im confuzzled. Ive liked him since last year. and have never had the courage to tell him.
As for my other best friend. I dont know whats happening between. us, one minute im her bestest chum then comes another friend of mine and all of a sudden im only a "friend" shoved in the background. I feel like im not as close to her as i was. its all fuzzy. like the outlines of our relationship are all fuzzy and broken... I love her i really do. but mayb its time to step out from the background.
At this very moment in time im Happy. quite settled in my life right now. surrounded by my friends love and warmth. but i can just see the horrible parts of life coming forward to smash the happiness to pieces. I guess ill worry about it when it comes. Now im going to live my life with no interuptions..
ok im a better mood today. apart from my technogoly lesson when my fucking techer convoscated my spikey jewlery. said it was "dangerous" i said to his face "if youve got a porblem with who i am fucking say it." and walked out to see the councellor. lol dont think he will be pleased...
guys are scum. i hate them. they lie and they cheat. i just want everyone to know that
I
blah
I know how it feels now. I know what i mustve put him through when i got another boyfriend. He is the love of my life. he now has another girlfreind. it feels as if my heart has been ripped out and has stopped beating, ive lost count how many times ive cried since we broke up. I feel like cutting, screaming, and taking my anger out on something. how stupid was i to have dumped him! i had the perfect relationship goingand i threw it all away just like that, because thats how selfish i am, thats how stupid i am. im always thinking of myself. i dont think of how much pain i cause others. If only i saw how i hurt him before, i wouldve reilised, and done something, anything...... its too late now...
wel ignore that diary entry.... hmm well me and chris broke up, i couldnt handle him being so far away, but he is still coming to see me and my friendys! ^^ yay! that im happy about...
ermmmm: school, was ok, kinda sucked at one point! but yes i cheered up,
yesterday: very upset.. mel told me to move on from him, and that i will cope, so i did, well im ALMOST there now...
today: Going out today, hopeing to have fun! waha!
hmm im boreded, *yawn* *shivers* its cold in here all of a sudden, mayb i have a ghost! waha! that would rock! yeh so anyways... bye bye
well it looks like life is now more shit than it can ever get.. god i fucking hate my life, it goes wrong all the time.. pfffffft....
" Nobody knows and nobody cares that i die on the inside "