i feel like there is something going to happen to me in the next years of my life that i wont be able to escape. i dont want ot think about it but in my dreams it is more than i can handle some of edgar allen poe's work explains it but i cant tell you. you wouldnt understand

okay some older guy like 45 i think it is my friends dad.he is really starting to piss me off.whenever i am ridding my horse,rain, he always makes me push her until she can bareley walk and i know what is good for my horse and oh no heh were not done yet yesterday i didnt want to take her up this muddy hill because i knew she would slide and hurt herself and then he yelled at me and tok my horse and took her up the hill and it was real bad she could hardly walk afterwards because she was so tired so i didnt ride her i walked her and then after he called me sisy for not taking her up there and then he grabbed my ass. um no i dont think so!.and he expects to much of me and of my horse and i hate it i used to look up to him. now.... i dont want him ever near me again and he cant tell me what to do he isnt my father. my father is dead!

dear dad,

if you knew how much i missed you im sure you would be so sad but there is some part of me that says you didnt die you just left for a vacation and i know deep down inside you did realy die i just dont want to admitt it but it is hard for me to look at all those kids with thier fathers and me i will never feel that and on fathers day i know i come visit you at the grave yard but it isnt the same i cant talk to you the same way

i am kinda confused on what to believe right now

well lets see i didnt get any sleep last night and i went to the dark bar and had a drink and went to a party so ya you get the point

sometimes i wonder if the world i am in is real or if i am in a deep sleep .or why am i here.

sometimes i wonder if the world i am in is real or if i am in a deep sleep .or why am i here.

life is so boring sometimes