I have really changed since my first day here....on elftown I mean. I seem to have gotten more...away from people but yet...so close to people that I dont want to go a day without talking to them...it is hard to explain it...and no one will ever understand it

I AM SO PISSED AT THIS STUPID 10 PICTURES AND 400 LINES LIMITATION SHIT!!!! XD

[Rove] and I were talking on the phone and I had to pee so I said I was going to throw her on the bed well the phone.

[Acidic Khemica]:"I'm going to throw you on the bed while I go pee!!!"
[Rove]:"um...okay?"
[Acidic Khemica]:*throws the phone at the bed it bounces off and hits the floor*...o_o.."or the floor"
[Rove]:*cracks up laughing*

[Rove]:"have you taken your medication today? o.0"
[Acidic Khemica]:" I HAVE MEDICATION?!?!?!"

Me:"work you stupid piece of shit!!! I'm sorry what were you saying?"
[Rove]:"You are so bipolar"
Me:"I'm not a polar bear!!!!"
[Rove]:"no...bipolar"
Me:"I'm not a bisexual polar bear!"
[Rove]:"you wish"
Me:"yeah I know..."

This is what I always thought and still do of my life...



Everybody online?

It's the beginning of the end
You want things to go faster
It's the beginning of the end
Now everything's too slow for you
It's the beginning of the end
You are one step closer
It's the beginning of the end
Say Amen

1-800-SUICIDE
Or maybe Doctor Online could help you die
You need wings to fly
You need someone
To take your place
When you are gone

It's the beginning of the end
You know nothing last forever
A beginning of a trend
You need someone there to care for you
It's the beginning of the end
I don't think you understand
Just a beginning of a flatline
Together

1-800-SUICIDE
Or maybe Doctor Online could help you die
You need wings to fly
You need someone
To take your place
When you are gone

1-800-SUICIDE
Or maybe Doctor Online could help you die
You need wings to fly
You need someone
To take your place
When you are gone

Thank you for calling 1-800-SUICIDE
If you wish to self terminate by electric shock - press one
For termination by overdose - press two
If you would like to make a reservation at the end of our drowning pool - please press three
For termination by hanging - please press four
For death by self inflicting gunshot - press five
To speak to a representative, stay online
If you do not wish to die - please hang up now

1-800-SUICIDE
Or maybe Doctor Online could help you die
You need wings to fly
You need someone
To take your place
When you are gone

1-800-SUICIDE
Or maybe Doctor Online could help you die
You need wings to fly
You need someone
To take your place
When you are gone

I'm going back to living a dream I always thought was unreal

I'm done with taking people's shit

*grabs knife*Can I? Please? I promise it will only take a few seconds to laugh at my dying soul and body

And as usual...I'm ignored....GREAT!....I used to think the computer was my heaven...now it is my fucking hell...

omfg...I can't believe how much people piss me off now days...I mean it is like I can't go anywhere without some jackass treating me like I'm shit. I get it enough from my family or my so called "family". And from my so called "friends" and I don't need it from people I don't even fucking know!...wow I went from a good mood to a ...shitty mood...in like.........5 minutes that is my new record...

I kinda forgot about my birthday so um...I really dont care anymore...so screw my birthday no one at home remembers it so why should you?

yeah, just me no one important. Today I went to the aquarium(sp) with a friend of mine, christy. It took us like forever to get in cause her mom and her mom's sisters just kept bitching at how they wanted to smoke for a while longer. God damnit I hate them and she does to so I felt better about calling them bitches #^^#. Yeah, then after we went to go find somewhere to eat and all they did was bitch at how the food was to expensife(sp) and OMFG! Yeah, but the good thing is I got to see Christy and all. We went to hot topic while they all bitched about food haha. I got a new Slipknot shirt and an Atreyu patch for my book bag so it's all good now. But in the morning I am going to soccer and like haha I have it in the morning and in the afternoon so...yay for me...so I might not be on due to lack of energy or...I'm just sick of you people....More than likly the first one but hey heh heh...okay I'm done...

Me:*making fun of brittany spears while talking to [Rove] on the phone. singing brittany spears*
[Rove]:RAPE!
Me:*sings*and it feels alright! baby thinking of you keeps me up all night!*didnt hear [Rove]
[Rove]:*cracks up laughing*
Me:what?

for you people who actually read this I'm going to misouri for a family reunion and wont be back until like the well a few days whatever

might not be on for a while.....

*sighs*okay my life is going to a shit hole right now...so if i like go off on you for no apparent reason im sorry or if i seem really depressed im sorry...it is just things around here arent going to good for me...and it is the summer and it started out fucked and it will end fucked just like me im so fucked up i dont even know where to start...well at least i can still talk to my counselor...she is a good person

and i have been thinking about death lately...just what will happen when i die?will it hurt? where am i going? i mean we dont remember anything before we were born so are we going to remember when we die? and i mean like im scared about dying i dont know why but it fucking scares me and it is just so weird thinking about something like that....last night i stayed a gina's house with a few other friends and we all talked about death and everything but we started to scare Megan so we stopped the whole time i was thinking about something else but also talking it was odd

and also today i had a really bad headache i was like crying on the ground in the middle of church screaming my friend kaitie wilson she had to put her hand over my mouth till we go out of the building cause i was screaming so bad...my counselor she is cool she came out and hugged me till i calmed down i felt alittle better but not very much....

i really want to tell some people things but it seems no matter what i do if i say something the other person doesnt like im like getting shit from them and then the other person still ends up mad at me...and if i say something they both dont like i get shit from both of them...i hate it and im sick of it....some day im just going to run away no one thinks i will but just wait and see....and dont say well look at what you have cause you know nothing about me to start with so dont even go there...i mean it isnt like anyone would see that im gone so i cant really write down any feelings cause someone is just going to get mad at me well you know what fuck it im tired of people's shit and if someone at home gives me shit now ...im not afraid to give it right back anymore and at school im sick of people always hanging on me like im thier property i belong to no one not even my family they are starting to hate me so fuck this shit! im tired of it!

I dont know what is wrong with me and it is killing me something inside me is wrong....I can feel it how i am always bitching at people and ugh i hate it i really want to talk to [Gwendylyyn] or [eyes of frost] you both have my number or just leave me a message and ill try to get on or whatever....i dont know what is wrong with me!!!*slams fist on the computer desk*

I feel really happy today cause i regained a friend and maybe something more