Okay I give up...No you don't get it I really give up
No one has an idea of how much I miss my dad. I will never get over it he died because of me....I should never have let him go...I'm seriously thinking about taking a gun to my head....He is never going to be here for my sweet 16 he will never see me graduate collage....I'm shakking so much because I'm crying. Death how I long to embrace you...
Alright...I'm just going to rant or whatever you people want to call it. Okay taken upon my current stage of mentality I'm almost insaine....Or atleast that is what my therapist said. What happened to me these past few days? That is what I want to know. It is like something happened to me and it has affected me in the worst ways. But I can't recall anything that would put such an impact upon me. She said that I started acting this was about 2 weeks ago. If you lift up my sleve you can see a whole bunch of little cuts on my upper arm from me taking glass and running it down my arm. People say that cutters can quit but to some of us it is like drugs and addicting. My therapist told me that over 8 million of the population cuts. It is some fucked up shit but most of us have some fucked up reason for it. I know cutting doesn't make the pain go away but it gives me another to focus on. If anyone walked through the hallway and looked at me I'm sure the first impression wouldn't be "Oh she looks like a cutter". And same goes for a lot of people. Some of your best friends could be and you need to look for the symptoms because this is not the way to go. I have been trying to stop for God only knows how long. And I'm sure....I could, but, I choose not too....I guess we all have our realities...
Um....Well I don't know what to say but I want to say something but it is bottled up inside me and won't come out of my mouth so um...I will try this again later
I feel almost isolated from society these days...and it isnt cause of anyone here on elftown. Something inside me feels so alone even with I'm with the one person that I love. And even in that situation. But I love her to death and wouldnt let anything hurt her.
I had so much hair spray in my hair tonight it wasnt funny cause at the concert we had to have our hair up and like everyone wanted to do my hair cause I never do anything with it so they all like attacked me and sprayed me then this one chick rochelle yeah I know weird name she put lip gloss shit on me and then pecked my lips I was like WTF!
today I got chris's letter she sent me and I was so happy when I got it my face was like 0_0;;; then #^^#I will always love her no matter what people say even if I'm hanging on a cross about to burn to death I will still say I love her and nothing will change that so you people dont try to change it cause you will be the one getting hurt most
me:*sits down with a poweraid to drink for lunch*
Michel:hey I know you! you're caty!
Me:umm no I'm not...
Samantha:*rand
Me:*shrugs silently and goes with it drinking poweraid*
Michel:oh I'm sorry...
Me:*thinks: fucking idiot...*
Samantha:*thin
Me&Samantha:*c
okay people I suck ass at baseball and today in gym omfg it was so funny.I caught this ball and that was 1 out then I accidently landed on the base that is 2 outs and I accidently tripped and hit one of the runners with the ball and that was 3 outs ....not to mention this happened within 30 seconds which was the shortest inning of baseball I have ever seen in my life....haha yes go me!
online relationships are a pain...I mean yeah you love them but you cant really hold them or hug them when they are sad you cant kiss them like you would...it is just a heartbreaker that you might never see them in real life...
YES I GOT MY COMPUTER TOWER BACK!!!! IT IS FIXED!!!
I think I have a crush on someone...well I dont think I know...it is a girl she is ...great! I mean...I think about her all the time I dont know what it is but she just makes me feel omg like I'm alive again and it is kinda odd for me cause I have never really had a crush on a chick
I'm really thinking about taking a break from Elftown for a while...but I dont know if I can cause some people insist on talking to me about their problems...I dont care I want to help but there is just so much and I'm just...one person...a lonely one at that...yeah you all say that I have friends yes I know that but I also have "friends" IRL that backstabb me and hate me and dont talk to me so that is mainly why I'm here I guess
I have really changed since my first day here....on elftown I mean. I seem to have gotten more...away from people but yet...so close to people that I dont want to go a day without talking to them...it is hard to explain it...and no one will ever understand it
I AM SO PISSED AT THIS STUPID 10 PICTURES AND 400 LINES LIMITATION SHIT!!!! XD
[Rove] and I were talking on the phone and I had to pee so I said I was going to throw her on the bed well the phone.
[Acidic Khemica]:"I'm going to throw you on the bed while I go pee!!!"
[Rove]:"um...okay?"
[Acidic Khemica]:*throws the phone at the bed it bounces off and hits the floor*...o_o..
[Rove]:*cracks up laughing*
[Rove]:"have you taken your medication today? o.0"
[Acidic Khemica]:" I HAVE MEDICATION?!?!
This is what I always thought and still do of my life...
Everybody online?
It's the beginning of the end
You want things to go faster
It's the beginning of the end
Now everything's too slow for you
It's the beginning of the end
You are one step closer
It's the beginning of the end
Say Amen
1-800-SUICIDE
Or maybe Doctor Online could help you die
You need wings to fly
You need someone
To take your place
When you are gone
It's the beginning of the end
You know nothing last forever
A beginning of a trend
You need someone there to care for you
It's the beginning of the end
I don't think you understand
Just a beginning of a flatline
Together
1-800-SUICIDE
Or maybe Doctor Online could help you die
You need wings to fly
You need someone
To take your place
When you are gone
1-800-SUICIDE
Or maybe Doctor Online could help you die
You need wings to fly
You need someone
To take your place
When you are gone
Thank you for calling 1-800-SUICIDE
If you wish to self terminate by electric shock - press one
For termination by overdose - press two
If you would like to make a reservation at the end of our drowning pool - please press three
For termination by hanging - please press four
For death by self inflicting gunshot - press five
To speak to a representative
If you do not wish to die - please hang up now
1-800-SUICIDE
Or maybe Doctor Online could help you die
You need wings to fly
You need someone
To take your place
When you are gone
1-800-SUICIDE
Or maybe Doctor Online could help you die
You need wings to fly
You need someone
To take your place
When you are gone
I'm going back to living a dream I always thought was unreal
I'm done with taking people's shit