if you knew this was the last time youd see me would you be there if you knew this was my last day on earth would you even care if you saw the darkness inside destroying me would you try to save me whipe away the desolate tears and stop me from falling my lifes in decay im slowly but surely fading away this fallacy that everything is fine has crumbled down in time the emptiness withing yearns to be filled to eradicate the hate that has beeen instilled, to severed to be elated going on with life with nothing but hatred disheartened by your silence the time bomb insides has exploded now i resort to violence its rather sad, when i needed you the most you are gone no one to turn to now that everything has gone wrong if i was dead tommorow would you be sad or show sorrow
emptiness has befalled upon my shoulders i cant feel anything im only getting colder im tired of putting on a front that everything is alright, turning into shadow as dark as the night what would you do what would you say, now that im slowly fading away stop running from me dont turn your back on me now i dont know what to do now, you were the only reason i gave a flying fuck the only damn reason i didnt give up, but thats about to change, the inner emotions are comming out ive never felt more deranged,

the emotions that werent skin deep the numbness inside begins to creep inner death consumes the man i used to be emiting the darkness out setting the hate free look at what ive become the end or everything has begun i cant find happiness i cant find balence, to drift away from the darknessi cant get you out of my mind maybe im stubborn maybe im blind, but i still love you........

Famine of life within
stuck in this despondency of deplore, remaining absent just like before never felt so alone, fighting a loosing battle on my own, vitality fading away from existence, falling away from lack of attentiveness im running out of time loosing what is rightfully mine, i can't take the lacerations of my befallowed life, going through all this unbroken strife, all alone with no were to turn falling away from this pain i did not earn, the essance of suicide is inside me instilled, all the good inside being slowly killed, i want to escape from the distress eradicate the darkness, that has enveloped my soul engulfing me swallowing me whole, drained from the recuring neurotic torment, i long for it to end the hostility of malice has defiled what was once ethical, lossing grasp on what is beautiful, i covet for tender attachment, i long for no judgement, hardened by the epoch of deprivement,
CHORUS
the world is turning black, i want to run away but theres no turning back, diminishing into oblivion, im tired of this world im living in, the famine of life within is breaking me down, i look fro something to hold on too, yet nothings around, nothing in life but emptiness, going on is hopeless, living for nothing, just to perish, never felt so repressed, left to die in misery tired of being so depressed, this anguish that is so great, living a life doomed to a terrible fate awaiting something, getting nothing

damn everything is changing life sucks i despise this world i wonder why i go on each days o well ill get over it when i die

dear diary today i wait to see if the cops have an arrest warrent out on me if they do then........ oops im going to prison for aggravated assault if not then yay ill buy an ice cream cone and be a better person (yeah right) this day kind of sucks majorly but all of my days are like that its sad but o well ill die some day and get over it peace out

Сатаны порожденный сын

dear , wtf is going on???? nothing at all im going to go kill something now

dear diary, damn i am so stoned, its funny i watched chi and chong im still smoking it never will end, hahahaha its 420 yay!!!

The Rise of satans Begotten Son

Talking to every one with a smile, it masks who you really are, your ways are vile, all the others that you greet, acting holy your full of deciet speaking of healings in gods name, hiding your true colors your are vain, looking at every one your eyes meet a kid, that child is me i know what you did, smiling at me you continue preaching your lie, you continue staring at me now i know why, after the sermon you talk to me and we go back in your room not knowing the trauma that would come soon, you tell me im demonicly possessed you grab me and touch me saying i am blessed, you continue touching me and blessing me but when nothing comes out your anger continues to grow, you grab me and hit me again and again!!!! you true colors have been showned ,i begged for you to stop you dont hear my plea!!!! you continue goin on then you violate me!!!! I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CHORUS
i hate you do you realize what youve spawned?? all of the kindness is now gone this is the rise of Satans Begotton Son, i will have vengence for this pain, im after you and ive gone insane, yesterdays actions turn into todays swords, i will have vengance may it come forth

why wasnt i strong enough to stop you?? i dont know but ill have vengence for what youve put me through you showed no remorse when i lied there crying losing all all hope feeling like im dying. stop looking at me!!! stop praying for your god to deliver me!!!! and after all this time look what ive tunred into!! a man still in pain remembering what youve put put me through but no longer weak ive grown strong!!
vengence will be mine it wont be long i will make sure this never happens ever again
a man proclaiming to be god covered in sin,i hate you!!!! you should too, what are you thinking now?? you pedahiler your making me ill
(chorus)
Darkness covers me the numbeness begins to follow, this life i now live is far to hollow so now in working for a better tommorow, your finished your gone but its to late to stop me Ill get you for what youve spawned, living yet dead im Satans Begotton Son

Dead inside

I have been hanging on to life losing my grip I know I'm starting to slip I ask my self why am I this way why do I feel like this every day thinking fuck it losing my sanity I want to thank you all who hurt or picked on me you destroyed love or anything with glee you transformed me into the psychotic monster I am today and you bitches it is here to stay once was filled with love now filled with hate I hope you fuckers feel just great running out of time losing my god damned mind none of you mother fuckers will ever understand my life has not gone as I've planned thanks a lot you know who you are you left me with nothing but scars at night I am left wondering why, I even try, left hating wishing I would die

Chorus
Loving caring and friendliness have in me died because of you I'm dead inside I'm now cold hearted thanks to you I'm tired of everything and I don't know what to do, Love I have tried but it turns I'm dead inside ill never forgive I'm dead but I some how live im dead inside dead inside

No Christian I don't know your god, I know he is a fraud, don't mention him to me for I'm tired of your hypocrisy and if he does exist I don't care cant you tell? Id rather burn in hell for I despise good even though I should don't play your hypocritical mind games you turned me into who I am you put your god to shame do you see what you made? Your making my bleeding soul fade I worship no one not this father or his fallen son
(Chorus)

I break the window with your head I hate your for you make me wish I was dead I don't want my life to be like this hate inside love I miss so I stab myself with a knife wishing for a better life I need to be loved and held on to you don't know what I've been put through I've never felt love at all one of the reasons I will slip or fall into the darkness dead inside
(Chorus)
You keep stabbing me with every word this shit is so obserd I want It all to end with every stab a wound that will not mend I've lost all my hope it is so bad I can no longer cope I now have a cold heart life has been torn apart my soul is leaving for I have died because I was so dead inside you don't know what it takes to make people break I can no longer hid the pain has consumed me so I'm dead inside

Stolen dreams

This is not how I want my life to be I don't want depression and demons attacking me I'm weakening from the onslaught I'm holding on to all I've got but I'm losing it all waiting for my downfall for it is near with death at my door I'm dying inside its clear I lost all that was sensation, weakening from this isolation reflecting I realize that I am what I despise and I'm weakening from the pain I'm left in a world with nothing to gain and now I feel the anger changing me life isn't the same I let the hate free, but it isn't going to get any better will I be like this forever im tired of being alone fighting the demons on my own
Chorus
I've been covered in darkness drifting away into nothingness my life is a living hell im heading no where cant you tell everything I love is gone losing my will to go on stolen dreams inside me now the nightmare screams depression kicks in suicide is were im going im fucking tired of the pain overflowing stolen dreams life isn't what it seems

The violent screams are still in my head another day like this and I'll be dead im living with no intent living for the moment and this life isn't mine my life goes on with out me while I watch dying, I've meant to kill myself to end this living hell but every time I fail im surrounded by shadow darkness covers me never letting go and im falling apart from all this shit im taking it wont get better im forever breaking were is the love that I need to feel inside im living even though I've died and no one cares im living a nightmare I see my nightmare come true I look and the nightmare is you I feel the anger rising how I stay alive is surprising this is my fate to live this life full of hate
(Chorus)
I cant stop from falling apart and all that's left is a blackened heart do you see the damage that's that has been done the demons have finally won this is the way I've seen my life unfold im tired of living in a world so cold im tired of living in a world so cold im tired of feeling so neglected im tired of waiting for love that never will be resurrected nothing is the same im fading from all the pain and all that's been said I cant take anymore or I'll end up dead paralyzed from being paranoid I cant fill my lifes void the scars of the yesteryears are here to stay, no matter what I do they wont go away they are forever haunting death is what im wanting I can no longer suffocate how I feel , im covered in wounds that will not heal, so im doomed to this fate to life a life full of hate
Chorus
As I start to fade I see death yet im unafraid yet death wont take me to my grave so I continue to live losing hope forgetting to forgive why wont I stay slain? Why cant I end all my pain im losing control death wont take my infected soul im tired and im weak death is the antidote that I seek why wont the demons leave me alone all the happiness has been overthrown I want to fall down and move on, to lie down and die the one I want to end is I before I fade away hold my hand then watch me drift away and don't try to understand death is what im waiting for, for this life isn't worth living anymore, this life is mindless im tired of living like this

dear diary, im tired of all the shit thats gone wrong, i hate everything losing it all, just to find myself going on, nothing in life has gone right, im dying im fading dissapearing into the night, i look for hope there is none,i stare at the bullets as i put them into my gun, this is my end, im tired of getting nothng in return for all the love i would send, all the beatings that would happen with out cause, to late to be saved for my will to live is lost, im fading now, im falling down, it in my intrest to end this, i look at my gun figuring i wont be missed, its loaded, i point it at my forehead, ten seconds later i have pulled the trigger and i am dead, no one cares no ones theres all the feeling stabbing, so ive ended it all this hopeless life i was grabbing it was my time, no one listened or paid attention to the signs, to the damn warning, now they stand over my grave all in mourning I SAID I WOULD DO IT WHAT ARE YOU THINKING NOW??? im stopping the pain i used to allow so be happy intsead becuse this worthless peace of shit is dead

dear diary today i mowed the lawn, unfortunately there were animals hiding in the tall grass i ran over a squrriel a snake a chipmunk and i cant tell what this one thing is, its head is stuck the the blade gah!!! im going to have to get a new oneso ive already killed something but im going to do it again

dear diary , today i got drunk again nothing unuasual i got mad at my cd player so i continuesly punched it untill my blood was all over it then i took my skateboard and started playing baseball with it, after that i ollied unto it stupid cd player, it shouldnt have scratched my Korn cd now ita hanging in my room if this happen again ill be even more pissed i still am, as im going now, i need to kill something,

dear diary i just got through trying to hold my friend as ransom nobody wanted her so i ended up untieing her damn this day has really sucked and i have no money im going to go kill something now

dear diary today i tried to end it all, it didnt work to bad, o well onward with the satanic ceremonies im tired of all the posers and this so called life im living, ill get over it when i die