i just remembered my dream. i loved it so much i cried when i remembered it this morning. i had it last night and it sounds a little stupid, but for me it's highly symbolic and meaningfull, and it made me extreeeemmmmll
i was still my age (13) and Seki Tomokazu was still his age...ok, maybe a lil' bit younger, 'round 25 er some. NEway, somehow eventhough i'm still in middleschool he and i shared a collage dorm, he had top bunk and i had bottom. there where two more people on the other side of the room but i forget who they were. Seki-sama had just transfered from japan and didn't speak good english. everyone made fun of him, except me, because i'm into Japanese, so despite our age gap and the point that i was still in middleschool and just somehow majically ended up in a dorm, we became really close friends. he showed me around the collage and multiple times he protected me [the 'youngyin] from other collage students and i protected him [somehow] from people making fun of him. things went on like this for a long time. i had been calling him Seki-sama this whole time mind you. then at one point he said something to me in Japanese and i understood it perfectly, the funny thing is i don't really know what he was saying, but in the dream i did, and it wasn't like it was translated into english and i knew it was Japanese, it was just raw japanese even in the dream, and yet i understood. then another few days went by and one night we were talking and he noticed i was still calling him "Seki-sama" even though we were really close friends. he stoped the conversation all together and said something along the lines of, "don't call me that, to you, i'm Tomokazu-kun." he was smiling the warmest smile i've ever seen. then i nodded and called him Tomokazu-kun from then on. and i realized that i really loved him. not as a lover, but as a big brother. that's when i woke up.
and so that really ment a lot to me. i don't know if it actually ment anything, or if it was just my mind mixing different thoughts and coming up with that or what. but it made me happy because i've always liked Seki Tomokazu a LOT. but i worried about him being so old [like i had a chance anyway XD] and i never looked at it as a friendly love like that, so it gave me the feeling that "everything's gonna be ok..."
ok, today pretty much sucked.. but in spite of the humans anoying the hell out o' me, i'm still happy. because well, i'm progressing on my 'secret' manga "Cyanide" and soon i shall be ready to put it up as a webcomic ^_^- i don't like the idea of a web-comic and would much rather have it be a manga, but meh, web-manga i shall have to live with until i anoy tokyo-pop enough that they publish me XD
wow, i'm actually writing inna diary? wow! well i've had an elftown account before i had an actual elfwood acount and this is weird! i now have a site in every part of elfwood except fanart and i love it! *snuggles elfwood* this place is the best!
ok, today was kinda ok. it was really dull and unneventfull. i really don't have much to say right now because i'm too busy, but expect me to start using this more often now that i know about it!