Goddamnit all...I feel hurt, betrayed, forsaken, and lost.
My BFF hates me...she thinks I'm flirting with her boyfriend. And I'm sure she wants me out of her life...I'm quickly sinking into depression mode and I can't get these damned suicide thoughts out of my head...I don't want to commit suicide...at least I don't think, well I do...
I dunno anymore.
I'm just sick of it all, I'm slowly losing the urge to socilaize with people. I just want to be left alone. I'm making up for time without friends by gaming. I've picked up and I've beaten games that I haven't played in years and have never beaten.
My mind's telling me to cry, my body says I can't. My mom's calling me a useless bitch again. She says that if she makes me feel like shit it'll motivate me to do things.
I'm sick and I'm sinking into 'I-don't-care' made. That's where I look like I'm in space and I have no expression on my face. My parents don't know, won't spend enough time to listen. Or they do know...and they don't care.
My dad's given up on me...My mom's cursing me out. I think she's planning on sending me to a shrink...even if she does I probably won't talk to the person.
I'm eating less now...I'm never hungry...My parents are starting to force me to eat.(Trust me I'm not starving myself on purpose. I just don't feel hungry anymore and then I forget to eat).
[Yes, this is posted twice for a reason...>.<]
Hmmm...Strange conversations.
Dude in my class: Blah, blah, blah, rap, blah, blah, blah, rap...
tk: THE SKY IN MY WORLD IS PURPLE!! *breathes hard*
Hikari: Dude, you okay...?
tk: Do I look okay?
Nich: I hope you like padded walls.
tk: Are the men in the white jackets here to take me already!! Well they won't find me!
Dude in class: The sky in my world is purple.
tk: Stop stealing my world! *slides halfway across the classroom on her chair*
Class:...
Teacher:0.o
*My friend steals my paper *
tk: Give it back.
Friend: Ask nicely.
tk: Give it, please.
Friend: Get down and beg.
tk: Just give it to me, Damnit!
Friend/tk: Dude, this is so wrong. >.<
Nick: Dude, your calculator's wrong.
Me: I know...it's trying to...take over the world!! *punches in random numbers and throws it at him* Meh!
Teacher: shut up and do your math.
Nick:*throws the calculator back while tk's twitching* The guys in the white coats are here to give you your medicine.
Me: No!!! You'll never take me alive!!*falls out of her chair calculator lands on top of her*
(At that point everyone was staring at me and the teacher was pissed...and my calculator still doesn't work T.T)
This one is for Hikari. She said she wants to know what's going on in her friends life...well here goes.
My dad is making me do a ton of math today which really really sucks. I've also been listening to Gackt all day.
My parents are really mad at me for failing my math test and have it in for me. >.<
Speaking of Gackt, I'm attempting to get a hyde cd. Hyde is from l'arc en-ciel for you jrock/jpop illiterates. I'm also attempting to get the movie that stars hiim and Gackt. It's called Moonchild. We will know in a few hours wether I will get it or not.
Let's see. How do I feel today. I hate my parents at the moment and my back hurts. My life really sucks at the moment. >.<
Umm...I'm working on a manga just for school. Which i means I will only draw it in school. It's called PcLover"g"(Pc lover girl) and it's the counter part to Machall(www.machall.co
Not really a diary entry but I wanted to write it.
~>~>~>~>
We had spent days looking for her. My angelic warrior...She really had no name but we called her angel...and she had been kidnapped by my Archnemesis, the High Archangel Nirvana of Darkness.
Her squadron had found her first. THey tried everything to stop me from seeing the tortured, mangled form of my lover. They had tortured her, draged her as close to death as an angel can possibly get and kept her alive. They had forced her to fall, hard.
Her left wing had been almost complely severed from her body, all that remained was bone and a few stubborn feathers. Her right wing had been broken in three places and had been pinned to the wall in those three places, and they burned the once white wing to an ugly shade of black.
The mask that she was forced to wear whenever I wasn't around her was broken. A chan was around her neck and the word "Tenshi" meaning Angel that was burned into her skin had been cut out. Her arms where also pinned to the wall. She had daggers and even her own sword sticking out of her body in random places.
"She's been forced to fall Seiketsu, even if we were to awaken her she would not be the angel we once knew and loved." Said one of Angel's men.
"I know, but there is a way." I replied.
"How, sir?"
"Find a mortal bloodline for her to live in. She will need at leat a millenia to heal from the mental tortures she's in. By then this war will be long over and I will have slept to regain my own powers.
"She will awaken when I am needed to battle Nirvana again. That is how we'll keep her alive.'
"Yessir...'
~>~>~>~
Tis from a comic I'm drawing.^^
Strawberry fields where nothing is real.
Blood and tears and never ending fear.
Pain and sorrow, hurts to feels.
Hate morals...nothi
Hate the pain that I'm feeling.
Angel, demons, mortals and minions...
in...
Strawberry fields where nothing is real.
I can't believe it. School is starting up again. I HATE school. Except that I get to see [New Years Revolution]-Chan and[€:DemonFire]-kun.
So, besides hating school nothing else is up. I'm trying to decide on whether I should complete the Fushigi Yugi manga series I own or the DN Angel manga series of which I've read the first two books.
I dunno what's wrong with me...Ever since I truned teenager I fel as though I'm walking through a nevering ending circle. An Endless Waltz in three/ four time consisting of Love, Friendship, and Rejection.
My parents get constantly mad at me. I try to avoid them, and so far I'm doing a pretty good job. I like to loose myself on the net though, but then my dad decidedes to go and raise my security level so I now cannot access half the sites I like. The good thing is the sites that I have a social life on I am either a respected MOD (Ph33r /\/\3) and/or I know the webmaster/mist
Okay, stuck in head...must sing....
Baby, look at me, and tell me what you see.
You ain't seen the best of me yet.
Give me time I'll make you forget the rest.
I got more in me, and you can set it free.
I can catch the moon in my hand. Don't you know who I am?
Remember my name
I'm gonna live forever. I'm gonna learn how to fly. (high)
I feel it comin' together. People will see me and cry. (Fame)
I'm gonna make it to heaven. Light up the sky like a flame. (high!)
I'm gonna live forever. Baby, Remember my name.
(REMEMBER, REMEMBER, REMEMBER, REMEMBER, REMEMBER, )
Baby, hold me tight, 'cause you can make it right.
You can shoot me straight to the top.
Give me love and take all I got to give.
Baby, I'll be tough. Too much is not enough.
I can ride your heart till it breaks. Ooh, I got what it takes. (fame)
I'm gonna live forever. I'm gonna learn how to fly. (high)
I feel it comin' together. People will see me and cry. (fame)
I'm gonna make it to heaven. Light up the sky like a flame. (fame)
I'm gonna live forever. Baby, Remember my name.
(REMEMBER, REMEMBER, REMEMBER, REMEMBER, REMEMBER, REMEMBER)
FAME!...
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Sorry, had the urge to sing it. ^^
*dies*
Answering machine: TK is not alive at the moment, please leave a message at the sound of the beep and she'll get back to you as soon a she starts breathing again.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Anyways, yeah, life sucks and that ^ is how I feel at the moment.
*still playing air guitar and listening to music*
LALALAL! LAAAAAAAAAAA!
Anyways...
*takes off earphones*
My RPG has started, and we're going to kick some serious Zentraedi ass! Aren't we Blitzkrieg.
*pats her veritech(variable fighter: A plane that morphs into a fighter wich has the upper body of a plane and legs like a Gundam, and a Battloid which kinda looks like a gundam, or a giant robot)*
*veritech's computer systems light up green in a yes*
You heard, the Kunst des Kriegs.
*computers systems light up red in annoyance*
Oh yeah, she hates being called art of war.
I'm teaching myself Visual Basic 6.0. I'm sooooo damn proud of myself!!
I'm in a wheee mood and Sessho-maru doesn't like it. (volume 16 after fighting Gashinki, and Sessho picking up his head.
Rin: (running in circles)EEEEK
EEEEEK!!!
Sessho: Rin, Shut up, you're annoying me.
Rin: Yes, Sir!)
Well that's all for now!
Wheee! I just joined! Yeah, you can kinda figure that out. My one problem is that I discovered that my ability to be online is not all that long so you won't see too much of me...but you will see me if I have anything to say about it!
Anyways it's 9 days until my next RPG and I can't wait. Any other Robotech.com Squadron Members out there? I'm in Shadow Squadron. It's a whole lotta fun!!
For those of you who know Robotech my squadron exists in the RT year 2026 we were formed in the RT(Robotech) year AD 2025.
I'm in a Meh mood cause life sucks, and that's all I've gotta say on the matter.
Might write more later...need coffee, need my precioussss coffee. Laterz!^^