I'm listening to a massage mix that Carri gave to the class our last day. It is really good, unfortunately, though, it was played during our final goodbye exercise, "the laying on of hands". It was such an emotional time for all of us, I don't think we will be able to use it.
I'm glad to be out of school, but I'm sad to leave everyone.
Goodbyes
The time has flown
Now we say goodbye
We've shared tears
We've shared laughs
Now we say goodbye
One more tear is shed
THe hugs abound
Now we say goodbye
Will reunions come?
No one knows for sure
Now we say goodbye
A bond is made
An unseen connection
There always will be
Now we say good bye
Through storms and strife
Through love and hate
Through death and life
We have strived as one
But now we say...goodbye.
Oh, My! School is done. We went clubbing last night. I got so bored and so tired of having my ass grabbed I told Tara I wanted just ONE nice, decent guy to dance with or I was going to leave, cuz 3 hours of ass grabbin was enough. 5 min later I found one, but my knees were killing me by then from doing "How Low Can You Go" with Jen.
I feel plastered, and I didn't even drink anything last night. shit, oh well.
I only have one more day of school. But I'm stressed to hell and back because of procrastinatio
My life has gone to hell, and the only people I want in it cannot be here. These are times I think of "Ordinary World" By Duran Duran. If you want a poem, I'll be putting up it's lyrics later.
Believe Me, If All Those Endearing Young Charms
Believe me if all those endearing you charms,
Which I gaze on so fondly to-day,
Were to change by tomorrow, and fleet in my arms,
Like fairy gifts fading away!
Thou wouldst still be adored, as this moment thou art,
Let thy loveliness fade as it will,
And around the dear ruin each wish of my heart
Would entwine itself verdantly still.
It is not while beauty and youth are thine own,
And thy cheeks unprofaned by a tear,
That the fervor and faith of a soul may be known,
To which time will but make thee more dear!
Oh the heart that truly loved never forgets,
But as truly loves on to the close,
As the sunflower turns to her god when he sets
The same look which she turned when he rose!
Peace To The Slumberers!
Peace to the slumberers!
They lie on the battle plain
With no shroud to cover them
The dew and the summer rain
Are all that weep over them.
Peace to the slumberers!
Vain was their bravery!—
The fallen oak lies where it lay
Across the wintry river;
But brave hearts, once swept away
Are gone, alas! Forever.
Vain was their bravery!
Woe to the conqueror!
Our limbs shall lie as cold as theirs
Of whom his sword bereft us,
Ere we forget the deep arrears
Of vengeance they have left us!
Woe to the conquerors!
-Thomas Moore
Ok, lastnight [Shade Wolf] and I were going through the book "1000 Years of Irish Poetry: The Gaelic and Anglo-Irish Poets from Pagan time to the Present" and he said I should put some of these up even though they aren't mine. These are some that touched home to the both of us, they are all by the same poet. Enjoy!
Forever
Those we truly love never die,
Though year by year the sad memorial wreath,
A ring of flowers, types of life and death,
Are laid upon their graves.
For death the pure life saves,
And life all pure is love; and love can reach
From heaven to earth, and nobler lessons teach
Than those by mortals read.
Well blest is he who has a dear one dead:
A friend he has whose face will never change—
A dear communion that will not grow strange;
The anchor of a love is death.
The blessed sweetness of a loving breath
Will reach our cheek all fresh through weary years.
For her who dies long since, ah! Waste not tears,
She’s thins unto the end.
Thank God for one dear friend,
With a face still radiant with the light of truth,
Whose love comes laden with the scent of youth,
Through twenty years of death.
A White Rose
The red rose whispers of passion,
And the white rose breathe of love;
Oh, the red rose is a falcon,
And the white rose is a dove.
But I send you a cream-white rosebud
With a flush upon its petal tips;
For the love that is purest and sweetest
Has a kiss of desire on the lips.
The Cry of the Dreamer
I am tired of planning and toiling
In crowded hives of men;
Heart-weary of building and spoiling
And spoiling and building again.
And I long for the dear old river,
Where I dreamed my youth away;
For a dreamer lives forever,
And a toiler dies in a day.
I am sick of the showy seeming
Of a life that is half a lie;
Of faces lined whith scheming
In the throng that hurries by.
From the sleepless thoughts’ endeavour,
I would go where the children play;
For a dreamer lives forever,
And a thinker dies in a day.
I can feel no pride but pity
For the burdens the rich endure;
There is nothing sweet in the city
But the patient lives of the poor.
Ah the little hands too skillful,
And the child-mind choked with weeds!
The daughter’s heart grown willful,
And the father’s hear that bleeds.
No, No! from the street’s ride bustle,
From trophies of mart and stage,
I would fly to the woods’ low rustle
And the meadows’ kindly page.
Let me dream as of old by the river,
And be loved for the dream always;
For a dreamer lives forever,
And a toiler dies in a day.
-John Boyle O’Reilly
(Sorry it's so long)
A found poem, compiled with actual quotes from slaves. This is what came to me and touched me.
Freedom, When?
"You're nothin' but a dog, you're nothin' but a dog."
"Beat her across the back and shoulders till she fell down."
"She was wooped so bad she didn't want to eat."
"If you don't want a woopin' at the stake, you do what I say."
"Whipping was not the only way of punishing."
"Then he turned around and wooped me, wooped me, and if that weren't enough, he burned out my eyes."
"You're nothin' but a dog, you're nothin' but a dog."
"We had what you might call a jail sentence."
"we couldn't walk like you can now."
"They sent two negro girls with me to ensure my return."
"If he hadn't been holding me I would've fall on back into the river."
"We had what you might call a jail sentence."
"I was not allowed to say good-bye."
"If you were bad they'd sell you."
"I was put on the block and sold."
"I was bought and sold three time in one day."
"I was not allowed to say good-bye."
"When we stepped across the broom stick and we were married."
"Spirituality helped many."
"He used to let me go all about."
The Call
A wind blows from the east,
I know not wither I should go.
The path of least resistance?
Or staying, fighting to the west?
My love lies east, but wait,
There is a call, echoed, echoed,
Many fold 'tis echoed, but where?
I know not withere it comes.
From the heart 'tis where.
Silence, 'tis soft and small.
Whither does this voice urge?
To find the one true love.
Changes come and changes go.
The higher, the slower they come.
But once you get hight enough
Nothing changes, nothing at all.
That voice, that one call,
It comes from the highest.
And I must get there.
But how?
A short one.
Nobody
Nobody to care for
Nobody to share with
Nobody to love forever
Nobody to know what you feel
Nobody to answer your call
Nobody to answer your scream
Nobody to help you out
Nobody to tell how you feel
Nobody to say "I do"
Nobody to care for you
Nobody to feel your pain
Nobody at all...
Dude...it was such a great night...why do I have to leave in 2 1/2 weeks!?
Starry Night
The stars shine forth
Lighting your sweet face
I finally find answers
No more having to chase
You've finally admitted
Under the soft star light
Your feelings for me
Are at their full height
But I must go away
Why must this happy night
Have a twinge of sad
As I must take flight
Blackest Blue
It's a feeling of eternal low
That's brought about with a blow,
A blow to the heart or to the face.
Is there anything but this forsaken pace?
You bring about the blackest blue,
You may wonder but it's all true.
Every word you say stabs at the heart,
Can you give no peace in part?
It nulls every feeling in the body
To see someone act so gaudy.
You play an unforgivable role
To lead away the innocent soul.
You bring about the blackest blue,
You may wonder but it's all true.
Every word you say stabs at the heart,
Can you give no peace in part?
Can't you for once see all
The damage and pain caused for all?
To ride away on a great white stallion,
And ignore that you offer this great bullion.
That would be my greatest wish,
Greater then to swim amongst the fish.
You bring about the blackest blue,
You may wonder but it's all true.
Every word you say stabs at the heart,
Can you give no peace in part?
And end this blackest blue...
Well, today was better. Justin had to take a quiz or test during lunch, so I sat and talked with Katie, a night student I know that was making up a class. Ofcourse two girls talking, we were talking about guys, specifically guys around the campus we thought were nice, or cute, or hot, some happened to be staff members. Well, one of the male staff members, not one we were discussing, thankfully, came over to talk to us. When he sat down he asked us what were discussing, and after laughing we told him. And he actually suggested I ask Mark out! o.O He said it wouldn't be too big of a deal since I graduate in like 2 weeks. I pointed out I was leaving for Stanley right afterwards, and so he said to just go on one date. Oh my gosh! I feel so embaressed, I hope he keeps his mouth shut, or I'll kill him.
Well....Let's just say I spent lunch curled up at Justin's side. And I am now extremely pissy and moody. Today did not go well, and my Russian class just agrivated things even worse! My heart feels torn, and my soul is on the verge of falling off a cliff. Ain't life grand?
Katheryn
You've left me alone
I have a broken soul
How am I to continue
Living with this toll
My soul and your's
Were always as one
Now you are gone
And I feel you won
I wish you could
Come back to me
But you have gone
And let me flee
It has been almost six months since the time of Katy's death. I can feel the connection getting stronger again. Let's just hope that tomorrow everything runs smooth, and the weight doesn't cause any unneeded trouble.
Happy Beltane, Everyone! A little poem for the Beltane night.
Beltane
The moon rises high
The fires lit blood red
The goddess looks down
Her children all led
To the fires' circle
Where unions made sacred
The scarifice is made
The blood hot is shed
Couples dance and sing
Life is blood taken
New life is created
Spring' height shaken
Come to the fires
Play by my side
There is a union
Waiting, don't bide
Remembering a Time
I remember a time when you stood by my side.
I remember a time when you promised to stay there.
I remember a time when you told me you had to go.
I remember a time when I pleaded with you to stay.
I remember a time when you packed your stuff to leave.
I remember a time when I hugged you goodbye.
I remember a time when you kissed my cheeck.
I remember a time when you came back for a stay.
I remember a time when you said you'd came back.
I remember a time when you tried to make me jealous.
I remember a time when you said you'd never come back.
I remember and that is all...
Another Gerald poem. There are a lot for him.
Promises
Promises are what hold friendships together,
Without them no one can survive in this untamed world.
What happened to the time when you promised
That if I would give you a second
You would tame my wild heart?
What happened to the time when you promised
That you would always be there for me
In times when I needed you the most?
Well that time has come,
And where are you when I need you?
You were my one true friend,
But I guess what the world has to say is true,
No friendship can last forever.
Can the only friendship that lasts
Be the one made with someone not of this world
One time you said you loved me,
But how can that be true
If you don't keep the promises you made?
But no matter what you decide
I will always be there for you.
Times are tough and we all need each other,
We must help each other through thick and think.
That is what I am determined to do, evem if you will no.
I wrote this to Gerald a few years back. I'm so glad he's back. I love him more then anything.
Today is not one of them
He is sitting alone
Just off a coral-tree-sha
At this excellent moment in his life
He looks a grave
Because he is pondering a different time
Constant assault of images
And the raise of a troubling question
Was he ever that guy
He turns very quiet
And seems very ill at ease
He is gone, somewhere else
He has become an artifact of fear
He must bear this cost
It has let us down
It persists
Today is not one of them
Ok, it has been almost a year since my last diary entry, and a certain someone has encouraged me to start writing again. I don't know what on...but I will try....hhmmmm.
*wanders off to find note book*
Strangeness
His touch feels like your's
Your touch feels like his
It is something confusing
Wouldn't it be strange
If you were both the same?
A winged one I love so
That prances through waves
Waves of water, waves of cloud
A mighty winged horse
Wouldn't it be strange
If it were all so real?
A castle in the clouds
A palace by the sea
A place where gods rule
A place where kings abide
Wouldn't it be strange
If I could live there?
Two people who are one
A fantasy creature real
My castle in the clouds
My dreams of things to be
Wouldn't it be strange
If all my dreams were true?