Sometimes I'm selfish fake
You're always a true friend
And I don't deserve you
'Cause I'm not there for you
Please forgive me again

I wanna be there for you
Someone you can come to
Runs deeper than my bones
I wanna be there for you
I wanna be there for you

Swirling shades of blue
Slow dancing in your eyes
Sun kisses the earth
And I hush my urge to cry, cry

I wanna be there for you
Someone you can come to
Runs deeper than my bones
I wanna be there for you
I wanna be there for you

'Cause I hear the whispered words
Within your masterpiece beautiful
You speak the unspeakable through
I love you too

I wanna be there for you
Someone you can come to

I wanna be there for you
And be someone you can come to
The love runs deeper than my bones
I wanna be there for you

Take my hand
I give it to you
Now you owe me
All I am
You said you would never leave me
I believe you
I believe

I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I'm breathing
Holding on to what I'm feeling
Savoring this heart that's healed

Well if anyone is wondering why I left elftown, the answer is, this place sucks. No one even talks to me anymore, not that I didn't expect it, but why be on a website if no one wants to talk to you anyway? I dunno. I have yahoo and aim for those who would like to keep in touch with me, but for everyone else, if you really wanted to talk to me, you should have done it a long time ago.

I will probably be back to check messages, or to fuck around with pictures because most of mine are uploaded to this site, but other than that, I probably wont be around anymore. No offence, but I just don't feel the need to be here anymore.

Anyway, to all my friends, I still love you, just figure out a different way to talk to me.

Kurt, I love you to death, and I'm sorry we've been arguing lately.. :\

The first time i saw you i thought that i would just make another,and then i realized that in life you were just another mirror.

[The first words you spoke were the ones that I vaguely remember]

But tied in a knot all the times that we haven't spent together

And is it your face that's got you down?

Or is it your mind when no one's around?

So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I'm here to stay
Love can be so boring
Nothing's quite the same now
I just say your name now

But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
You don't want me back
You're just the best I ever had

So you stole my world
Now I'm just a phony
Remembering the *guy*
Leaves me down and lonely
Send it in a letter
Make yourself feel better

But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
You don't need me back
You're just the best I ever had

And it may take some time to
Patch me up inside
But I can't take it so I
Run away and hide
And I may find in time that
You were always right
You're always right

So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I'm here to stay
Love can be so boring
What was it you wanted
Could it be I'm haunted

But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
I don't want you back
You're just the best I ever had
The best I ever had
[The best I ever had..]

Leave a message on your phone Just to find out your not home
Keeping up with you is something I could never do
And I know somethings wrong cause you've been gone to long
a fucking waste of my time is all that you've become
If I can't be the *girl* That you always wanted me to be
If I can't say the words That you always wanted me to say
If I fall in the end Will you be holding onto to me?
Cause you said you'd [never leave me]
The choice is up to you To find out what to do
[To let it go] or to keep *kicking me to the side*
Getting tired of your shit and I can't deal with it..
I gave up giving in and now its time to say ["goodbye"]..


</3

I am utterly miserable.. The doctor visit was more than I was ready to handle.. I don't know what to do except wait for the lab results, which by the way I had to take today.. I got blood drawn from me 5 times within 2 hours, had to drink gluclose (whatever) and sit around watching some queer movie.. My arms are so sore, and bruised, and I am in so much pain.. And you arent even here to help me..

I am so not trying to sound all like boohoo woe is me, have sympathy on me cuz im sick as fuck.. But dude.. Goddamn.. When is it gonna be my break? How much can one person handle?..

Anyway, if anyone wonders why I am suddenly different, or not online much anymore, is because I have just experienced a giant slap in the face reality check, and if the only person I need to be here for me right now, doesnt have the time to be here, then I guess I'm on my own..

Its 3 o'clock in the fucking morning, and I can't sleep.. Wow. This is totally fucking gay. I miss Kurt♥..I wish we talked more... We talk like..Well recently more often, but like once a week.. It sucks so bad.. There is so much I want to say to him when hes not here, but once he comes online, I'm like at a loss for words.. [It sucks dick.]

Today I went to the doctor, and I was scared out of my mind.. Wow it blew.. Now I have to go to a different doctor on the 10th (which is the day my sister was going to be enduced but I told her she couldn't because I had a doctors appt. so she agreed :D) Blah blah.. Yea so I cant believe my sister is going to have another baby next week sometime.. That is so cool! [♥!] Grace Marie Fendrich (i have no idea if i spelt that right haha)

My back kind of hurts.. Yup that sucks.. I got muscle relaxers but they arent that cool.. No fun side effects.. Bummer Oh well.. Whatever works I suppose..

oOoOo I had subway today, that made me happy.. And I also fell in love with this lotion called Love Spell.. I dunno it smells awesome and it has [sparklies!] woot! I just watched Dodge Ball.. That movie has like 2 funny parts.. Lol..

Yea well I need a cigarette... Sooo Im gonna go smoke one, and hopefully get some sleep.

Love ya [♥]
Molly






I fucking love you Kurtiss.

http://www.quizyourfriends.com/yourquiz_IM.php?quizname=051003020132-410838
Go take my quiz dammit! ♥

BLAH! IIIIII totally friggin give up... BLAH!BLAH!.. Woo.. FUcking gay.

W
H
A
T

T
H
E

F
U
C
K
!

People are fucking retarded.. yesss they are.. Wont mention any names, but YOU SUCK!.. Woo..




I am Molly=Big pile of shit. YAY!

HAH you wonder why I call myself a pile of shit? Because that is how a person feels after a long period of shittyness. Yay...


  [You only think about yourself]

..Want to know the sloppy details of me and kurts break up?.. Go here! -dies-

http://kevan.org/brain.cgi?xMookiex

Anyone interested in knowing how I feel about God?.. Well here is a convorsation I had with the *oh so* wonderful Amber.. <3 By the way, we were not arguing, just simply having a discussion. Read if you want..

GodslilAngel2911=Amber
xMookMastahx=Me



godslilangel2911: first do you read the bible or even belive in God
xMookMastahx: I dont know..
xMookMastahx: If God does exist, then I believe he hates me..
godslilangel2911: no read Job that will change ur mind
godslilangel2911: no offence but we all have it better than we think
xMookMastahx: Yea i know..
godslilangel2911: first im going to tell you the story of job and then ill type the thing about love out
xMookMastahx: Which is why I feel so selfish most of the time..
xMookMastahx: okay..-sighs-
godslilangel2911: dont sound too happy there dont want you all excited or anything
xMookMastahx: Lol.
godslilangel2911: but job is one who followed God completely...but God wanted to test him..he took away everything job had...his family...his cattle (money at that time) and his health
xMookMastahx: -listens-
godslilangel2911: now job had two choices..he could say forget you God because he was on the brink of death or he could still follow God
xMookMastahx: uh huh..
godslilangel2911: he knew that if he followed God in the end he would be happy and he knew that if he didnt then he would be sent to hell when he died..now me personally i would have been pissed at God by now...but Job knew that even though everything he ever loved was ripped away from him he still had to trust God
godslilangel2911: so he kept seeking after God til he died...
godslilangel2911: and thats the story of job
godslilangel2911: you can read it in a bible in more detail
xMookMastahx: Okay..Did job go to heaven?
godslilangel2911: yep
godslilangel2911: because he trusted God even til the end
godslilangel2911: even when everything..his wife..children money...friends everything
godslilangel2911: was gone...he still held on to God
godslilangel2911: but just to make sure ill find out for you
xMookMastahx: okay..
xMookMastahx: You know.. I think part of the reason I dont pray or anything is because Ive never had full faith in God..And I think that if I just start praying all the sudden because I'm having a tough time, I would be selfish..
godslilangel2911: dude there is no right or wrong time to pray to God
xMookMastahx: If I were to actually believe in God, and start praying and shit, it would because *I* would see myself fit enough to be accepted by God..
godslilangel2911: he wants you to come to him even if the first time is because your having trouble
godslilangel2911: no
godslilangel2911: dont be like that
godslilangel2911: u are fit for God
godslilangel2911: just a few things so you know...
xMookMastahx: i just dont understand how someone so *loving* could allow so much HATE to happen in the world because of someones mistakes (adam and eve) He created man.. Correct?
godslilangel2911: yes
xMookMastahx: Then shouldn't he have known the complexity of man?
godslilangel2911: he did
xMookMastahx: If he created man, then he should know about temptation
godslilangel2911: he did
godslilangel2911: its like this
xMookMastahx: he should have KNOWN what was going to happen if he *see's* everything..
godslilangel2911: and he did
xMookMastahx: Then why did he let it happen?
godslilangel2911: let me explain this to you..
xMookMastahx: Okay..
godslilangel2911: when you are little your parents tell you not to touch something hot because it will burn you right
xMookMastahx: Right.
godslilangel2911: well more than likely your not going to listen until you know for sure if they are lying or not
godslilangel2911: so most people touch it anyways
godslilangel2911: then they realize hmm my parents were right
godslilangel2911: you see he made adam and eve
xMookMastahx: Okay i understand that.. But am I wrong when I say GOD was the first thing to ever exsist?
godslilangel2911: he has not beginning and no end
godslilangel2911: so yes
godslilangel2911: he was the first
xMookMastahx: Okay, so who created evil? Where did "Satan" come from?
xMookMastahx: If God created everything.
godslilangel2911: hold on let me find that out for you
xMookMastahx: okay.
xMookMastahx: And where did GOD come from?
godslilangel2911: hes always existed
xMookMastahx: Yes but how?
godslilangel2911: he doesnt have a beginning
godslilangel2911: i know its hard for you or i to understand but its true
xMookMastahx: Well, that is one of the things I cannot believe.
xMookMastahx: There is no solid truth.
godslilangel2911: dont worry about the things you dont understand
godslilangel2911: they worry enought about themselves
godslilangel2911: are you a person of logic
xMookMastahx: Yes but im dumb, I strive to understand, and I wont believe in something if there is no proof.
xMookMastahx: I try to be.
godslilangel2911: do me a favor..dont be
xMookMastahx: Not all of the time because I live in my own fantasy world.
xMookMastahx: Yes but we as humans are forced to believe fantasy is not real.
godslilangel2911: logic has no bases when it comes to God
xMookMastahx: Then why does everything else?
xMookMastahx: I'm sorry if I seem to be arguing with you, Im really not.
godslilangel2911: no its ok
godslilangel2911: i like this
godslilangel2911: i like to help ppl understand things they dont
xMookMastahx: yea..
godslilangel2911: and if you dont accept it..its cool too
xMookMastahx: I really dont think I will ever understand..
godslilangel2911: i know ill never understand all of it
godslilangel2911: there are things that i dont understand either
godslilangel2911: but God is in control and knows what hes doing
xMookMastahx: I'm not going to say I don't completely NOT believe in God, though.
xMookMastahx: that didnt make sence..anyway.
godslilangel2911: with time he will reveal himself to you
xMookMastahx: I hope so..
xMookMastahx: I would love something to believe in.
godslilangel2911: i grew up around it and didnt accept it til i was 15
xMookMastahx: I used to love to go to church
xMookMastahx: LOVED it.
godslilangel2911: i mean i went to church every sunday every time the doors were open
xMookMastahx: But I've run into alot of strict religions..
godslilangel2911: dude i was luthan
godslilangel2911: luthran*
xMookMastahx: I strongly believe that you dont have to go to church, or follow strict religions just to believe.
xMookMastahx: Pft.. I was Seventh Day Adventist.
godslilangel2911: hehe
godslilangel2911: i know that one
xMookMastahx: It sucks.
godslilangel2911: just to clear something up with you
godslilangel2911: ur right you dont have to go to church to belive
xMookMastahx: Thank you.
godslilangel2911: God is not about religion
godslilangel2911: God is about a personal relationship with you
xMookMastahx: If I were to pray right now
xMookMastahx: The only thing I could say is thank you for all the times you kept my ass from dying.
godslilangel2911: then do it
xMookMastahx: and the *Good* things hes given me.
godslilangel2911: just say God i need you and thanks..forgive me of my sins...
xMookMastahx: -Shrugs-.
xMookMastahx: Like I said, I feel selfish when I pray..
godslilangel2911: whats the worst that could happen
godslilangel2911: dont feel selfish...he wants you to come to him molly
xMookMastahx: Yes but sometimes.. I will PRAY for a sign that he is there
godslilangel2911: hes saying "molly come to me and just fall into my arms"
xMookMastahx: Pray HARD that he will make things better.
xMookMastahx: It never fuckin works.
godslilangel2911: dude
godslilangel2911: things are going to just go poof all better now
godslilangel2911: arent*
xMookMastahx: Yea I've realized this.
godslilangel2911: just dont lose faith
xMookMastahx: I really dont have any faith to lose..

..Why am I so selfish?... Nerrr and Why cant I figure out how to put my emotions right now into words?... -Dies-

Would you like to be the one who sees me fall?...